Tunde Odesola

Luxuriating in a posh apartment when he should be doing time for his crime, Bobrisky got on the phone with a friend, disgorging the content of his innards in a flirty, whimpering and entitled voice.

The Very Important Prisoner coos, “I called my friend. You know, because I can’t use my account, I wanted to send money from my account but they said I’m still under investigation. I cannot withdraw from my account. So, I now called (a) few of my friends. You know Polanco – Elele – that Polanco. He’s my very good friend. So, I called him. He was like, ‘Ah, no o, account wo ni kin n send owo si, account wo ni ki n send owo si’? I gave him my brother’s account, he now sent N8m, ‘pe iye ti awon le sare send ni’sinyi ni yen o’. I was even shocked that he can send that amount of money. He said, ‘Ah, omo gidi ni e, o n se omo be yen; you’re a very nice person’.

“So, I called Demola, Demola in New York, you know he’s my friend too. Demola sent me N1m immediately. Then, I called other people. I can’t start making call (sic) (to everyone), because I don’t know who set me up, so, let me not start calling the wrong people, do you understand? I called the people I trust, so, the money sha complete N15m, they now remove (sic) money laundering charge, they now took me to court for spraying of money.”

Tracing the genesis of his wahala, Bobrisky recalls in the recorded phone call, “The whole thing started from when they gave me Best Female Dress (sic) (award). That’s where the whole thing started from, you know – jealousy, envy, we sha got to court, I sha told them that I’m guilty, that, ‘Ah maybe court will even pity, that o ya pay fine or community service’. Sadly, the court sentenced me.

“So, you know, I was on my way to the prison, then my godfather called me and said, ‘You will not enter that prison, ma worry, let me make arrangement for an apartment close to the prison’; that he’s going to call the (Controller General) (Nigerian Correctional Service), that’s the overall (head) in Nigeria and Abuja, and he (godfather) will talk to them. They sha talk o, before I come back sha, they now took me to one apartment – that I must not come out till I finish my sentence, that the oga said they should come and keep me here, that nobody should know that I’m not there (in prison).

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“They said the guy would collect money…N5m. I had to call Elele (Polanco) again, there’s nobody to call, Elele gave me the balance of N2m. I’m supposed to come out in ending of July, next month, 29th, …Bad Guy, his father is a SAN, so, Falz reach (sic) out to me, his father spoke to me, his father said we can apply for pardon, that…my case is federal, that the federal can actually pardon me – that’s the President – that if they pardon me, I can even leave here by next week. Do you understand? That I don’t have to wait till ending of next month. Ok. So, the man started the pardon, he said he want to send it to Minister of Justice. So, Minister of Justice will now send it to the President to approve it, but you know Nigeria, Nigeria with their corruption and everything, they take it back to him, the lawyer said they will collect N10m, that that pardon will clear my name off the record…”

Imagine Bobrisky lamenting corruption!? What a country!

Well, I won’t dwell much on the second audio recording released by VDM because it’s essentially like the first one presented above – the only difference being Bobrisky’s corroboration of the fact that he never stayed inside the Nigerian prison facility.

Hear him, “Truth be told, I don’t want to lie to you, you’re my person; I’m not in prison. I’m around there, they got me an apartment because of my godfather. My godfather was able to tell them that never, I will not smell the prison. Let the world think you’re in there but you will never (get inside the prison). So, we were able to talk to the Deputy Controller in Nigeria, and he (Deputy Controller) said that (everything would go well) if Bob is not forcing anything, if Bob is not saying anything, if Bob is not doing anything – they can put me in a place close to the place (prison), so, I can always come inside (the prison) and see people and welcome my family and nobody needs to know. My godfather got me a new SAN.”

At the deathbed of an elephant, knives of various sizes and blades converge for condolence. Numerous recordings on the Bobrisky saga have sprouted up everywhere, making the task of tracking the emerging issues a helluva job.

Along the line, an audio recording (not from VDM) revealed that the ongoing Bobrisky Prisongate scandal was baked in the oven of vengeance as a young man, who purportedly lives in the US, and whom Bobrisky allegedly owed N4m, was said to be the one who released the audio recordings to VDM. While answering questions when he met a joint committee of the House of Reps in Abuja, VDM confirmed that someone whom Bobrisky owed gave him the recordings.

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However, the way VDM is handling his presentation of the recordings to the public shows the gulf of difference between a journalist and a mere blogger. VDM could have hidden behind the petal of ‘Fair Comment’ located within the sepals of the Law of Libel. He could also have claimed he made the revelation in the public interest. But his comments lost the fragrance of fairness when he questioned the sexual orientation of Falz and also impugned the integrity of the iconic human rights crusader and Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Mr Femi Falana, together with Falz’s, saying, “But all the people that would be mentioned, I don’t care, you understand, I don’t care, and from today, no longer respect for all of you, you understand, because all of una na di same.”

In the same recording, VDM goes magisterial, saying, “Wait, Falz the Bad Guy? I can’t even believe this. Falz De Bad Guy contacted Bobrisky? He contacted his father, Femi Falana, and Femi Falana, his father, spoke to Bobrisky in order to divert justice. And this same Falz, if this story is true o, will have the audacity to come out and say he is fighting against the government – for oppression, that he wants justice, he wants Nigeria to be better, so na like dis you dey carry yourself? I don’t even want to believe that Femi Falana will bring himself down to this level! A whole Femi Falana wey bi Fela lawyer, wey we respect!? Femi Falana will engage himself in something like dis? Wait, wait, wait, what is the relationship between Falz and Bobrisky? Abi Falz sef dey do? Oh, ok. (Bursts into a song) ‘Who are we to crucify the homosexual? Most of una don dey involve from time, everybody is a hypocrite o’ Abi Falz sef dey do?”

VDM made an effort to appear fair to Falana and his son, Falz, by interjecting his narration with ‘if this story is true o’. He also started another video by saying, “Before I go on, everything in this video is ‘allegedly’.”

If VDM was a journalist, he would know that a thousand ‘allegedlys’ or a million ‘ifs’ cannot save his neck from the guillotine of defamation because many people who viewed his posts won’t reckon with ‘allegedly’ or ‘if’ as they would presume Falana and Falz are guilty. The law is clear on this.

Falz, a lawyer, represented by Falana and Falana, the law firm of his father, has embarked, through his lawyer, Taiwo Olawanle, on a move to clear his name of the allegations levelled against him, giving VDM a 24-hour ultimate to retract his statements and apologise even as he refuted the allegations.

Falana, in an interview, denied the allegations by VDM and expressed concern over some ‘mentally deranged’ netizens who threatened to burn down his office and kill his daughter if he dragged VDM to court. He said, “Some of these guys, who I believe are mentally deranged, have dared me, (saying) ‘if you go to court, we shall burn your office’, they have also sent messages to one of my daughters, that ‘if your father goes to court, we shall kill you’. I beg your pardon, in this country! I just laughed. I asked my girl, ‘I will take it up’. I’ve already taken that up because we also need to let these guys know where we are coming from.”

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Here’s a piece of unsolicited advice, VDM. When next anyone gives you a story, always take it with a pinch of salt, don’t be overexuberant, seek all the sides to the story and do a holistic presentation. It shouldn’t be Seun Anikulapo-Kuti who should advise you to reach out to Falz. No, you should’ve reached out to Falz and Falana as a point of duty. It would be beneficial if you run your stories through the lenses of a journalist and a lawyer, subsequently. When the Yoruba extol wisdom over strength in the proverb, “Ejó là á kó kó, ká tó kójà,” e get why.

VDM, good you’re a mouthpiece, a drum. But the drum is useless without the hands. I advise you to get some education in public communication. When you do that, you will know to dissociate yourself from your posts. By so doing, you will stay out of trouble and be more effective and believable.

Bro, please, shun overexcitement and the urge to lionise yourself in the eyes of your viewers because some discernable viewers know the stories of the Bobrisky saga were dropped on your laps, it wasn’t sourced. Any other blogger could have relayed the message, too. You also need to shun threats and blackmail. It’s unreasonable to say, “I give you 24 hours…” Giving Bobrisky a deadline to pay up the N4m he owed or risk being blogged was arm-twisting and not in public interest. That means if Bobrisky paid the N4m he owed his creditor, you wouldn’t have exposed him. When you do this, you’re no corruption fighter but a debt collector.

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In Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Eneke the bird says, “Since men have learned to shoot without missing, he has learned to fly without perching.” It’s high time the judiciary strengthened its oversight at the prisons by devising a tactic to check if its judgments are carried out. It’s pointless to make ineffective laws.

We’re all victims! Lions are shot dead after human beings forget to lock the zoo gates and lions kill man. Man in power tramples upon the man in poverty. Man in power, a victim of greed. Victims, victims, victims, we all are.

As for the EFCC and the Nigerian Correctional Service, it’s another soprano in the dirge of shame pervading all the structures of the Nigerian government. Bobrisky mentioned President Bola Tinubu and his Minister of Justice. But there’s no backlash. Rotten heads are not rolling, they’re still on their fat necks.

Abba Kyari, the disgraced police cop, remains wanted in the US for criminal offences but the All Progressives Congress government has continued to shield him. Nothing has been heard of the drug and bribery offences against him in Nigeria. Haba, Kyari! Haba, Federal Government of Shame!

Concluded.

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