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Eight Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

Published

3 years ago

April 12, 2022

A narcissist is someone dealing with a narcissistic personality disorder or NPD which is characterised by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, resulting in an extreme need for admiration, believing others are inferior, lack of empathy, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. However, there’s one quality they all share: they can wreak havoc in your life through various manipulative tactics.

Below are eight tell-signs to alert you that you are in a relationship with a narcissist so you could put on your ‘running shoes’ and flee from the scene forever:

(1) Everything must revolve around them

When talking to a narcissist, it may feel as though you need to fight to get a word in about yourself. The conversations you have will generally be about them and their problems.

The moment you start to talk about yourself, a narcissist may become visibly bored, tuning you out because you’re not talking about them.

(2) They’re excessively concerned with their appearance and reputation

A well-known characteristic of a narcissist is their inflated sense of self-worth. But this presents itself as more than constantly staring at themselves in a mirror and admiring how beautiful they are, though they may do this, too.

While narcissists may be deeply concerned about their physical appearance, they also tend to spend a great deal of time worrying about how strangers perceive them.

This focus inward can translate to the narcissist you’re dating going above and beyond what would be typical behaviour for the situation to win your heart, a phenomenon called love bombing.

The moment you fall for them, a narcissist will stop trying to demonstrate how they care about you and your needs.

However, in public, a narcissist will continue to play the role of the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, so everyone thinks highly of them but behind closed doors, where there’s no one to impress, they’ll drop the act and emotionally abuse you instead.

(3) They expect perfection from you even though they far from it

A narcissistic partner may also expect you to be perfect and will not accept any of your shortcomings, which everyone has, including them.

With a narcissist, it’s these shortcomings along with their self-loathing that plagues them and are at the root of their abusive behaviour.

(4) They’re manipulative

A more dangerous characteristic of a narcissist is their tendency to manipulate others, particularly those close to them. Because of their excessive need for admiration, they may do almost anything to achieve those ends, no matter how cruel.

A narcissist may manipulate you by making you feel guilty when you do something for yourself that goes against their desires. Or they may blatantly degrade you to keep you feeling trapped in the relationship. For instance, a narcissist may tell you no one else will want you because you’re so fat, ugly, stupid, etc.

(5) They will gaslight you at every given opportunity.

Narcissists may also gaslight you by lying straight to your face, causing you to question what you know to be real: something about them and your relationship isn’t right.

Gaslighting doesn’t usually start all at once, like most of their devaluing and discarding behaviours they ignite the process of gaslighting slowly.

They start with a little lie mixed with a spoonful of truth because it’s more believable that way and will certainly get you confused.

If you dare question the truth it gets thrown back at you and you are accused of having a bad memory, you are told you always forget. And they continue to repeat the lie-brainwashing till you start to question ‘reality.’

(6) They are empathy deficient

One criterion of NPD is a lack of empathy, the ability to pick up on and experience feelings someone else has.

The way a narcissist experiences emotion is different from most individuals. They may know why someone might feel a certain way in a superficial sense but cannot share those emotions.

In a relationship, this would translate to a narcissist behaving in a way they know will upset you but not caring because they don’t consider anyone else’s feelings except theirs.

(7) They have few long-lasting friendships

Due to the immaculate ‘false’ image they want to present to the world, narcissists can be charming and have no problem making friends.

However, when an individual is pathologically self-absorbed, it can be challenging to keep friends.

True friends take on a selfless role and listen to their friends’ problems rather than make everything about them.

Like romantic relationships, platonic friendships function as a two-way street, meaning there’s give and take. Because the world revolves around a narcissist, they may struggle to behave like a good friend, resulting in friendships that tend to fizzle out quickly.

(8) They keep a lot of romantic interest (known as narcissist supply) around them

A narcissist is often afraid of making a long-term commitment, though narcissists do marry. Those who are afraid to commit tend to keep a lot of romantic interests around, known as narcissistic supply or a narcissistic harem, just in case one of them begins making demands the narcissist can’t and won’t meet. When that happens, the narcissist generally pulls back using one of their manipulation tactics or disappears.

When the narcissist returns without warning, the same way they left, and successfully reels their target back in, they can effectively reset the relationship to a place where they’re comfortable.

Usually, the target won’t be so quick to make demands the next time, fearing what happened when they did. If they become so bold, the punishment typically escalates; the time the narcissist disappears becomes longer, the verbal abuse becomes more severe, etc.

The longer the cycle continues, the harder it becomes to break away for good. A narcissist always comes back.

Thus, the best way to protect oneself from a narcissist is to have nothing to do with them by strictly adhering to the ‘no contact’ rule.

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SUBEB Urges LG Chairmen To Sack Absentee Teachers In Bauchi

Published

6 hours ago

September 5, 2025

Editor

The Bauchi State Universal Basic Education (BASUBEB) has called on all the 20 Local Government Chairmen in the state to sack absentee teachers.

Alh. Adamu Mohammed, the Executive Chairman, BASUBEB, made the call on Friday during the official flag off ceremony of the 2025/2026 state wide enrolment campaign in Kirfi Local Government Area of the state.

Mohammed, who said that the move would serve as a deterrent and make others to be up and doing, added that the chairmen only need to inform SUBEB about the decision.

He also expressed the commitment of the Board to reward teachers who are diligent, committed, punctual and dedicated to service so as to encourage them.

The SUBEB boss who lamented the lack of enrolment of school aged children in schools across the state, said the development is detrimental to the future of the children.

According to him, the state government was doing everything possible to improve the quality of education at the Basic level, saying that members of the communities were not supportive of the efforts by not sending their children to school.

He also stressed that Girl child education is important to the development and growth of the society, calling on parents to send their girl children to School.

“I want to call on all the Local Government Chairmen in the state to take responsibility of supervising and monitoring schools in their respective areas because SUBEB can’t be everywhere at the same time.

“The Board will not rest in its oars until Basic education becomes the envy of others in line with what UNICEF and UBEC set as guidelines,” he said.

Also speaking, Dr Mohammed Lawal, the state’s Commissioner for Education, said the aim of the enrolment campaign is to mobilise traditional institutions to support enrolment drive in the state by sensitising parents and guardians on the need to send their children to school.

He added that the Adolescent Girls Initiative for Learning and Empowerment (AGILE) would also support whatever the traditional institutions are doing to achieve greater enrolment as well as continuity in education.

Earlier, Dr Nuzhat Rafique, the Chief of Field Office, United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), Bauchi, recalled how the number of out-of-school children was reduced from 1.5 million to 500,000 through the effort of the governor with support from traditional, religious leaders, communities and parents.

“This is a huge progress but still, having 500,000 children out of school is one of the main goals for us to bring them also into schools.

“Education is the right of every child. No child should be out of school and that is my humble request that as the government is putting in policies, steps and strategies to bring these children back to school, everybody should key into it.”

While assuring UNICEF’s commitment and support to the development of basic education in the state, she called on all stakeholders to work together and ensure that every child is back to school.

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UNILAG Honours Bayelsa Gov, Diri

Published

6 hours ago

September 5, 2025

Editor

The University of Lagos has completed a book project on the leadership qualities and governance style of Bayelsa State Governor, Senator Douye Diri.

The Managing Director of the UNILAG Consult, Prof John Oyefara, who disclosed this on Thursday during a courtesy visit to Government House, Yenagoa, said the institution has also proposed a public lecture as well as endowing a Professorial Chair in the Department of Political Science in his honour.

UNILAG Consult was established in 1983 and incorporated under the Companies and Allied Matters Act in 2013. It serves as the consultancy arm of the institution, providing research-driven, cross-sectoral technical services via access to the university’s academic expertise and facilities.

Diri’s Chief Press Secretary, Mr Daniel Alabrah, in a statement on Friday, quoted Oyefara as saying that the university had a track record of assessing the performance of various leaders in Nigeria and that the book titled “Leadership Chronicles of Governor Douye Diri” focuses on his exemplary leadership and achievements.

He said, “At the University of Lagos, we have a tradition of assessing leaders in Nigeria. We use our own templates and standards that are global to measure the leadership in Nigeria.

“We identified Your Excellency to be a leading star in Nigeria, based on leadership and governance. We decided to put together all your achievements. The purpose of our visit was to inform you about our project in three thematic areas. One, is on the publication of the book we have been able to put together about His Excellency’s achievements in the state.

“We also propose a public lecture where renowned leaders in Africa will deliver a lecture on leadership and governance to exemplify the achievements of the governor. The third one is for the Department of Political Science in the University of Lagos to see the possibility of endowing a professorial chair in the name of His Excellency.”

The Lead Editor of the project, Prof Hope Eghagha, also stated that the idea was an independent assessment of the governor’s performance in office, either in infrastructure or human capacity development, through interviews that were conducted.

Responding, Diri said he was pleasantly surprised by the gesture of the institution. He welcomed the idea of documenting his achievements, saying he had been nursing the idea of establishing a leadership institute to groom those with an interest in politics and political offices.

The governor said, “It is really interesting when people, without your prompting, decide to do a thing for the purpose of posterity. A lot of the time, we do not document these events and activities, as we look at them as not too important. But they are.

“I have toyed with the idea that if I had the resources, could I establish a leadership institution in Bayelsa State so that before anyone thinks of becoming a councillor, council chairman, commissioner, special adviser or even governor, he knows what he is coming to do in office?

“If you are not prepared for it, then we are bound to fail as a country and as a state. So, I have been pleasantly surprised by the University of Lagos, and I think it is a good thing. Let me also state that the success in Bayelsa is not all about me. It is actually about our team. We have a dedicated team of commissioners, special advisers, technical advisers, and everybody contributing their quota to the whole.

“That is why if anyone says we have done well in infrastructure, it is because down the ladder, those who have been vested with that authority have implemented our policies, projects and programmes to the best of what we expected to be.”

Diri approved the proposals from the delegation and thanked them for recognising him in the midst of others.

Serving as Bayelsa State’s helmsman since his Supreme Court-affirmed inauguration in February 2020, Diri has become noted for his inclusive leadership and development-oriented governance.

Against this backdrop, UNILAG’s decision to document Diri’s leadership style and legacy through a dedicated book, alongside a public lecture series and a named professorial chair, marks a rare scholarly honour reflecting both institutional respect for governance excellence and encouragement of lasting academic inquiry.

News

Lagos Begins Comprehensive Assessment Of Public Primary Schools

Published

7 hours ago

September 5, 2025

Editor

The Lagos State Government has commenced its maiden NEEDS Assessment Project for all public primary schools across the state.

According to a statement on Friday by the Deputy Director, Information, LASUBEB, Abe Adunola, the initiative, spearheaded by the Lagos State Universal Basic Education Board, was unveiled on Thursday during a stakeholders’ engagement session.

The NEEDS Assessment Project is an evidence-gathering exercise designed to identify gaps in infrastructure, teaching capacity, and learning resources in public schools. It provides government with data to plan targeted interventions and allocate resources more effectively.

According to the board, the project will cover 1,238 public primary schools, vocational centres, inclusive units, and Local Government Education Authorities.

Board member of LASUBEB, Owolabi Falana, said the exercise was a major step in strengthening the foundation of basic education in Lagos.

Delivering the keynote address on behalf of the Deputy Chief of Staff, the Executive Assistant to the Governor on Project Implementation and Monitoring, Mr. Olusegun Sanwo-Olu, noted that the initiative reflected the state government’s resolve to drive education reform with data-driven interventions.

“This project is about clarity and intentionality. By understanding the realities in our schools, we are laying a solid foundation for smart planning, equitable resource allocation, and sustainable reforms. It is a bold step that will ultimately improve the quality of teaching, enhance learning outcomes, and prepare Lagos children to thrive in this fast-changing world,” he said.

LASUBEB Chairman, Dr. Hakeem Shittu, described the initiative as the first in a series of continuous exercises aimed at transforming Lagos public schools.

“This maiden edition of the Needs Assessment Project is only the beginning. It will be sustained as a continuous initiative to ensure our schools, teachers, and learners are never left behind,” he affirmed.

Highlighting the project’s benefits, Shittu explained that the assessment would lead to safer classrooms, improved facilities, empowered teachers, and better learning outcomes for pupils.

“The future of Lagos depends on how much we invest in our children today. This initiative gives us the clarity and direction to act decisively,” he said.

He further stressed that the project was not only about identifying gaps but also about developing practical solutions that would create conducive learning environments, improve teachers’ working conditions, and strengthen administrative capacity across schools.

Shittu also commended the contributions of teachers, administrators, and Local Government Education Authorities, while emphasising collaboration with the Project Implementation and Monitoring Unit for credible data collection.

He urged teachers, parents, and community leaders to support the exercise.

“The success of this project depends on our collective effort. Together, we can build a school system that empowers our children with the skills, knowledge, and confidence they need to compete globally,” he said.

The initiative comes against the backdrop of several education reforms introduced in Lagos in recent years. Through the EKOEXCEL programme launched in 2019, the state government deployed digital learning devices and retrained teachers to improve literacy and numeracy outcomes in public schools.

The state has also embarked on school rehabilitation projects, the construction of new classrooms, and the expansion of inclusive education centres to accommodate children with special needs.

Despite these efforts, public primary schools in Lagos have faced challenges of overcrowded classrooms, poor infrastructure, and uneven access to quality teaching.

Education experts have long called for systematic assessments to guide interventions, making the NEEDS project the first coordinated attempt to collect comprehensive data for policy decisions in the state’s basic education sector.