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Eight Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

Published

4 years ago

April 12, 2022

A narcissist is someone dealing with a narcissistic personality disorder or NPD which is characterised by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, resulting in an extreme need for admiration, believing others are inferior, lack of empathy, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. However, there’s one quality they all share: they can wreak havoc in your life through various manipulative tactics.

Below are eight tell-signs to alert you that you are in a relationship with a narcissist so you could put on your ‘running shoes’ and flee from the scene forever:

(1) Everything must revolve around them

When talking to a narcissist, it may feel as though you need to fight to get a word in about yourself. The conversations you have will generally be about them and their problems.

The moment you start to talk about yourself, a narcissist may become visibly bored, tuning you out because you’re not talking about them.

(2) They’re excessively concerned with their appearance and reputation

A well-known characteristic of a narcissist is their inflated sense of self-worth. But this presents itself as more than constantly staring at themselves in a mirror and admiring how beautiful they are, though they may do this, too.

While narcissists may be deeply concerned about their physical appearance, they also tend to spend a great deal of time worrying about how strangers perceive them.

This focus inward can translate to the narcissist you’re dating going above and beyond what would be typical behaviour for the situation to win your heart, a phenomenon called love bombing.

The moment you fall for them, a narcissist will stop trying to demonstrate how they care about you and your needs.

However, in public, a narcissist will continue to play the role of the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, so everyone thinks highly of them but behind closed doors, where there’s no one to impress, they’ll drop the act and emotionally abuse you instead.

(3) They expect perfection from you even though they far from it

A narcissistic partner may also expect you to be perfect and will not accept any of your shortcomings, which everyone has, including them.

With a narcissist, it’s these shortcomings along with their self-loathing that plagues them and are at the root of their abusive behaviour.

(4) They’re manipulative

A more dangerous characteristic of a narcissist is their tendency to manipulate others, particularly those close to them. Because of their excessive need for admiration, they may do almost anything to achieve those ends, no matter how cruel.

A narcissist may manipulate you by making you feel guilty when you do something for yourself that goes against their desires. Or they may blatantly degrade you to keep you feeling trapped in the relationship. For instance, a narcissist may tell you no one else will want you because you’re so fat, ugly, stupid, etc.

(5) They will gaslight you at every given opportunity.

Narcissists may also gaslight you by lying straight to your face, causing you to question what you know to be real: something about them and your relationship isn’t right.

Gaslighting doesn’t usually start all at once, like most of their devaluing and discarding behaviours they ignite the process of gaslighting slowly.

They start with a little lie mixed with a spoonful of truth because it’s more believable that way and will certainly get you confused.

If you dare question the truth it gets thrown back at you and you are accused of having a bad memory, you are told you always forget. And they continue to repeat the lie-brainwashing till you start to question ‘reality.’

(6) They are empathy deficient

One criterion of NPD is a lack of empathy, the ability to pick up on and experience feelings someone else has.

The way a narcissist experiences emotion is different from most individuals. They may know why someone might feel a certain way in a superficial sense but cannot share those emotions.

In a relationship, this would translate to a narcissist behaving in a way they know will upset you but not caring because they don’t consider anyone else’s feelings except theirs.

(7) They have few long-lasting friendships

Due to the immaculate ‘false’ image they want to present to the world, narcissists can be charming and have no problem making friends.

However, when an individual is pathologically self-absorbed, it can be challenging to keep friends.

True friends take on a selfless role and listen to their friends’ problems rather than make everything about them.

Like romantic relationships, platonic friendships function as a two-way street, meaning there’s give and take. Because the world revolves around a narcissist, they may struggle to behave like a good friend, resulting in friendships that tend to fizzle out quickly.

(8) They keep a lot of romantic interest (known as narcissist supply) around them

A narcissist is often afraid of making a long-term commitment, though narcissists do marry. Those who are afraid to commit tend to keep a lot of romantic interests around, known as narcissistic supply or a narcissistic harem, just in case one of them begins making demands the narcissist can’t and won’t meet. When that happens, the narcissist generally pulls back using one of their manipulation tactics or disappears.

When the narcissist returns without warning, the same way they left, and successfully reels their target back in, they can effectively reset the relationship to a place where they’re comfortable.

Usually, the target won’t be so quick to make demands the next time, fearing what happened when they did. If they become so bold, the punishment typically escalates; the time the narcissist disappears becomes longer, the verbal abuse becomes more severe, etc.

The longer the cycle continues, the harder it becomes to break away for good. A narcissist always comes back.

Thus, the best way to protect oneself from a narcissist is to have nothing to do with them by strictly adhering to the ‘no contact’ rule.

News

Court Dissolves Petitioner’s Marriage Over Lack Of Love, Care

Published

14 hours ago

December 20, 2025

Editor

An Area Court sitting at Centre-Igboro, Ilorin in Kwara State, on Thursday, dissolved the four-year-old marriage between Aminat Mustapha and Wahab Adeshina, following the petitioner’s insistence.

The petitioner told the court that she was no longer interested in her marriage to her husband following claims of lack of love and care.

According to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), while delivering ruling, the presiding judge, Mr Toyin Aluko, held that the respondent had written to the court, accepting the divorce application made by his wife.

Aluko, consequently, dissolved the marriage between the parties, and ordered the woman to observe one month iddah (waiting period) before she could remarry.

Meanwhile, the court granted custody of the two children in the marriage, ages one and three, to their mother.

He ordered the father to pay a monthly sum of N20,000 for the children’s feeding and maintenance.

The court also held that the respondent will be responsible for their education and healthcare.

Again, the court held that the father has unrestricted access to his children, but at reasonable time adding that he should be notified before any decision is taken on his children.

The judge ordered the petitioner to get a copy of the judgment and send same to the respondent.

News

Tinubu Embarks On Three-state Visit

Published

14 hours ago

December 20, 2025

Editor

President Bola Ahmed Tinubu will depart Abuja on Saturday on a working visit to Borno, Bauchi and Lagos.

This is contained in a statement issued by Presidential Spokesperson, Mr Bayo Onanuga, on Friday in Abuja.

While in Borno, the President will commission projects executed by the Borno State Government under Gov. Babagana Zulum, in collaboration with the Federal Government.

He will also attend the wedding ceremony of Sadeeq Sheriff, son of former Borno Governor, Sen. Ali Modu Sheriff, and his bride, Hadiza Kam Salem.

From Maiduguri, Tinubu will proceed to Bauchi State to condole with the state government and the family of Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi, the renowned Islamic cleric and leader of the Tijjaniyya Muslim Brotherhood.

Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi died on Nov. 27.

After the condolence visit, the President will travel to Lagos, where he will spend the end-of-year holidays.

During his stay in Lagos, Tinubu is expected to attend several engagements, including the Eyo Festival scheduled for Dec. 27.

The festival, to be held at Tafawa Balewa Square, will honour notable personalities, including the President’s late mother, Alhaja Abibatu Mogaji, former Lagos State governors Alhaji Lateef Jakande and Chief Michael Otedola.

News

My Wife Dented My Image, Took Our Marital Crises To Radio Stations — Husband

Published

15 hours ago

December 20, 2025

Editor

…He ran away from home after I was delivered of twins —Wife

Grade A Customary Court sitting at Mapo, Ibadan, Oyo State, has ruled that a couple, Folaji and Ifedayo should go their different ways after it pronounced their marriage dissolved.

The court president, Mrs S.M Akintayo, who gave the judgment, stated that this was imperative to dissolve the marriage for peace to reign.

The plaintiff, Folaji, who dragged his wife to court, accused her of not loving him, always fighting him, and sometimes displaying violence.

Folaji explained that the root of their differences was Ifedayo’s bias for his mode of worship.

According to the plaintiff, he attends a white garment church, which mode of worship the defendant abhors and therefore refused to attend services with him.

Folaji also said that Ifedayo concealed from him the fact that she was suffering from a particular ailment, which he became aware of after she was advised at the hospital to carry out series of tests.

Folaji stated that the differences between him and his wife degenerated to the level that he became a regular face at the police station and also at radio stations, where his wife took their matters to.

The plaintiff told the court that the defendant had done a lot of damage to his image, and thus prayed the court to put an end to their relationship so that he could pick up the pieces of his life.

The plaintiff sought easy access to their children and promised to give them feeding allowance weekly.

He further requested an order restraining his wife from threatening him and from interfering with his private life.

Ifedayo, in her response, agreed that their union be dissolved.

She stated that her husband was inhumane and that he packed out of their house before she was discharged from the hospital after she put to bed a set of twins.

The defendant further said that the plaintiff had never visited her and their children since he walked out of their marriage.

According to her, her husband sent her N20,000 through his counsel after he dragged her to court, but that she declined it because it was a ridiculous amount to feed a set of twins.

Folaji, in his testimony, said: “My lord, my wife, and I had a proper wedding, and I paid her bride price.

“I expected my wife to be submissive to me and do my binding, but the reverse is the case.

“My wife is stubborn and troublesome.

“She swore never to attend my church because it’s a white garment church and that she loathes our way of worship.

“The more I encouraged her to attend, the more she kept her distance.

“She later reluctantly agreed to attend service once a month.

“My wife is secretive. She hid from me for years the fact that she was nursing an ailment. I only became aware of this when the doctor confirmed it after she went through a series of tests when she took ill.

“My wife, rather than being remorseful, decided to make life tough for me.

“She became troublesome and never ceased to fight me.

“She is violent and always hit and harmed me with any dangerous objects within her reach.

“We always dragged ourselves to the police station where we became a regular face.

“My wife, determined to dent my image, took our issues to radio stations where I was invited and our differences were aired.

“I walked out of our marriage when I could no longer tolerate my wife’s misbehaviour.

“She reported me again at the welfare office and, after mediating in our differences, I was asked to provide her with foodstuff and not money, which I did on a regular basis.

“But she has insisted that I would not have rest of mind.

“I pray this court to dissolve our marriage and grant me free access to our children. I promise to make provision for their upkeep on a weekly basis.

“I further request an order restraining my wife from threatening and interfering with my private life.”

Ifedayo, in her response, said: “I agree that our marriage be dissolved. My husband is inhumane and has no conscience, which were the causes of the crisis we experienced in our marriage.

“I was admitted in the hospital to be delivered of our set of twins, but I returned to meet an empty house. My husband deserted me and our newborn children.

“He never checked on them nor gave anything for their upkeep. He only gave them N20,000 of recent through his counsel after he came to court.

“I rejected the money because such an amount can not feed sufficiently two children of their age, not to mention other needs.

“I plead that the court grant me custody of our children and make my husband responsible for their upkeep.

“I want him to give attention to their feeding and pay their school fees as and when due.

“He should likewise be available any time they need medical attention.”

Giving her judgment, Mrs Akintayo said although both had a valid customary marriage and bride price was paid, the court had no choice than to grant their prayers of divorce since they now express their disinterest in it.

Akintayo ruled that they were no longer husband and wife.

She granted custody of their children to the defendant, stating that they were still minors in need of motherly care.

The defendant was granted access to their children on a weekly basis while he was ordered to be responsible for their welfare.