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Eight Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

Published

2 years ago

April 12, 2022

A narcissist is someone dealing with a narcissistic personality disorder or NPD which is characterised by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, resulting in an extreme need for admiration, believing others are inferior, lack of empathy, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. However, there’s one quality they all share: they can wreak havoc in your life through various manipulative tactics.

Below are eight tell-signs to alert you that you are in a relationship with a narcissist so you could put on your ‘running shoes’ and flee from the scene forever:

(1) Everything must revolve around them

When talking to a narcissist, it may feel as though you need to fight to get a word in about yourself. The conversations you have will generally be about them and their problems.

The moment you start to talk about yourself, a narcissist may become visibly bored, tuning you out because you’re not talking about them.

(2) They’re excessively concerned with their appearance and reputation

A well-known characteristic of a narcissist is their inflated sense of self-worth. But this presents itself as more than constantly staring at themselves in a mirror and admiring how beautiful they are, though they may do this, too.

While narcissists may be deeply concerned about their physical appearance, they also tend to spend a great deal of time worrying about how strangers perceive them.

This focus inward can translate to the narcissist you’re dating going above and beyond what would be typical behaviour for the situation to win your heart, a phenomenon called love bombing.

The moment you fall for them, a narcissist will stop trying to demonstrate how they care about you and your needs.

However, in public, a narcissist will continue to play the role of the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, so everyone thinks highly of them but behind closed doors, where there’s no one to impress, they’ll drop the act and emotionally abuse you instead.

(3) They expect perfection from you even though they far from it

A narcissistic partner may also expect you to be perfect and will not accept any of your shortcomings, which everyone has, including them.

With a narcissist, it’s these shortcomings along with their self-loathing that plagues them and are at the root of their abusive behaviour.

(4) They’re manipulative

A more dangerous characteristic of a narcissist is their tendency to manipulate others, particularly those close to them. Because of their excessive need for admiration, they may do almost anything to achieve those ends, no matter how cruel.

A narcissist may manipulate you by making you feel guilty when you do something for yourself that goes against their desires. Or they may blatantly degrade you to keep you feeling trapped in the relationship. For instance, a narcissist may tell you no one else will want you because you’re so fat, ugly, stupid, etc.

(5) They will gaslight you at every given opportunity.

Narcissists may also gaslight you by lying straight to your face, causing you to question what you know to be real: something about them and your relationship isn’t right.

Gaslighting doesn’t usually start all at once, like most of their devaluing and discarding behaviours they ignite the process of gaslighting slowly.

They start with a little lie mixed with a spoonful of truth because it’s more believable that way and will certainly get you confused.

If you dare question the truth it gets thrown back at you and you are accused of having a bad memory, you are told you always forget. And they continue to repeat the lie-brainwashing till you start to question ‘reality.’

(6) They are empathy deficient

One criterion of NPD is a lack of empathy, the ability to pick up on and experience feelings someone else has.

The way a narcissist experiences emotion is different from most individuals. They may know why someone might feel a certain way in a superficial sense but cannot share those emotions.

In a relationship, this would translate to a narcissist behaving in a way they know will upset you but not caring because they don’t consider anyone else’s feelings except theirs.

(7) They have few long-lasting friendships

Due to the immaculate ‘false’ image they want to present to the world, narcissists can be charming and have no problem making friends.

However, when an individual is pathologically self-absorbed, it can be challenging to keep friends.

True friends take on a selfless role and listen to their friends’ problems rather than make everything about them.

Like romantic relationships, platonic friendships function as a two-way street, meaning there’s give and take. Because the world revolves around a narcissist, they may struggle to behave like a good friend, resulting in friendships that tend to fizzle out quickly.

(8) They keep a lot of romantic interest (known as narcissist supply) around them

A narcissist is often afraid of making a long-term commitment, though narcissists do marry. Those who are afraid to commit tend to keep a lot of romantic interests around, known as narcissistic supply or a narcissistic harem, just in case one of them begins making demands the narcissist can’t and won’t meet. When that happens, the narcissist generally pulls back using one of their manipulation tactics or disappears.

When the narcissist returns without warning, the same way they left, and successfully reels their target back in, they can effectively reset the relationship to a place where they’re comfortable.

Usually, the target won’t be so quick to make demands the next time, fearing what happened when they did. If they become so bold, the punishment typically escalates; the time the narcissist disappears becomes longer, the verbal abuse becomes more severe, etc.

The longer the cycle continues, the harder it becomes to break away for good. A narcissist always comes back.

Thus, the best way to protect oneself from a narcissist is to have nothing to do with them by strictly adhering to the ‘no contact’ rule.

News

Coastal Highway: DStv, GOtv Customers To Experience Service Disruptions

Published

4 hours ago

May 5, 2024

Editor

DStv and GOtv customers in Nigeria have been notified to expect disruption in service from Sunday, May 5, to Tuesday, May 7, due to the ongoing construction project on the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway.

In a notice shared on social media on Friday, DStv assured customers that its technical team will be working to relocate its facility and minimise service disruptions during the process.

The statement read, “Our uplink facility will be impacted by the ongoing Lagos-Calabar Coastal Road construction project. As a result, we are forced to relocate.

“From Sunday, May 5, 2024 to Tuesday May 7, 2024, our technical team will be working tirelessly to relocate and minimise disruptions during the exercise.

“We appreciate your patience and understanding during this period and remain dedicated to delivering the quality service and support you expect from DStv and GOtv.”

The PUNCH reports that demolition for the 700km Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway commenced on Monday.

According to the Minister of Works, David Umahi, the duration of the construction is eight years, and it will be constructed for N15trn.

News

12 Years After: Ex-Eagles, Fans Celebrate Late Yekini

Published

4 hours ago

May 5, 2024

Editor

Former Super Eagles players and football enthusiasts on Saturday paid tribute to Nigeria’s all-time top scorer, Rashidi Yekini, 12 years after he passed on at 48 after a protracted illness, The PUNCH reports.

The late Yekini was reportedly kidnapped shortly before he passed away, and the cause of his death is still unclear.

Despite his sad ending over a decade ago, there is pride in the achievements of the 1993 African Footballer of the Year, yet sadness at his death and anger at the way he had been treated by the government and football authorities.

Super Eagles coach George Finidi, who made an assist for the late Yekini to score against Bulgaria at the 1994 World Cup in the USA, Nigeria’s first goal in the history of the tournament, said he still feels sad over his untimely death.

“His passing was sad for everyone,” Finidi said in an exclusive chat with Sunday Punch.

“Over the years, I have spoken about him, our connection on the field, and what he did for Nigeria as a player. May his soul rest in peace.”

Former Eagles coach and captain, Sunday Oliseh, a teammate of Yekini, also said his legacies will always be a benchmark for emerging Nigerian players.

“The late Yekini deserves to always be remembered for all he did for our country,” Oliseh told The PUNCH.

“He gave his all to our country, and his exploits are there for us all to see for others to emulate and learn from. May his soul continue to rest.”

“Yekini is definitely one of the best African players and legends to ever walk this earth. Rashidi was full of pace, had a superb shot, could jump very high, and was calm in front of goal. Above all, he was a very loveable person once you got to know and understand him.”

Ace journalist Oluwashina Okeleji also took to his X handle to eulogise the former Victoria Setubal striker.

“Today (Saturday) marks the 12th anniversary of Rashidi Yekini’s death.

“Football lost 1993 African Footballer of the Year Rashidi Yekini at the age of 48. He was Nigeria’s top scorer with 37 goals in 58 games. There was pride in his achievements, sadness at his death, and anger at the way he was treated by some.”

His former club, Gateway United, also joined other Nigerians in celebrating the legacy of Yekini.

Reflecting on Yekini’s illustrious career and his brief stint with Gateway United in 2005, the club’s acting general manager, Niyi Soleye, said, “Rashidi Yekini was not only a prolific goal scorer but also a gentleman that was respected by teammates and opponents alike. His 37 goals for Nigeria remain unmatched, a testament to his talent and dedication.”

Soleye fondly recalled Yekini’s time at Gateway United, describing it as a pivotal moment for the club and their supporters.

“I vividly remember his arrival like it was yesterday. As club secretary then, it was an honour to witness such a calibre of player joining us. He seamlessly adapted to our style, boosting morale both on and off the pitch.”

“While his passing in 2012 under controversial circumstances was tragic, his legacy continues to inspire future Nigerian footballers.”

News

We’ve Earmarked N1bn Naira Monthly To Feed Edo People – Obaseki

Published

9 hours ago

May 5, 2024

Editor

Governor Godwin Obaseki of Edo State, says his administration has earmarked nothing less than N1bn Naira monthly to feed vulnerable Christians in the state in the next three months.

This is as he said a similar programme has been mapped out for people in the Muslim faith in the state.

Obaseki disclosed this during the official flag-off of phase one of Edo State Food Support Programme also known as Christian Feeding Programme in Benin City.

The Governor, who said he was worried by the rising number of people who cannot afford a square meal in a day in the state, said he had to call Christian leaders in the state on how best to address the alarming situation.

Obaseki said in order not to make it look political, he decided not to involve political office holders, but Christian leaders in reaching out to vulnerable Christians in the state.

The Governor who added that the state government already had data of the vulnerable in the state database, said the means of reaching out to them maximally was the issue, hence using churches to reach out to them.

He said: “I was worried by the rising number of people who cannot afford a square meal in a day. So, I thought to myself how do we solve this problem. This is not politics I told myself.

“I then called the chairman of Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) and some of the blockheads to a meeting and explained to them what I intended to do. So, that’s how we put our heads together to come up with this programme.”

Obaseki added: “I told them this is the amount of money I will be giving you every month. I’ll give you a billionaire monthly for three months first. At least, Let us try this for the first three months.”

The governor said the programme was not just to feed the vulnerable, but also together more data about people in the state on how the government can create employment for them and how the government can render help where necessary.

Earlier, in his remarks, Chairman of the Organising Committee who also doubles as the Chairman, CAN,
Apostle Irekpono Omoike, while thanking the governor for the initiative, said 10kg of 60,000 bags of rice have been purchased for onward distribution to the three senatorial districts in the state.

According to him, 27,000 bags of the 10kg would be distributed to the seven local government areas in Edo South, 15 bags to Edo Central and 18 bags to Edo North.

Further giving the breakdown, Omoike said 3, 000 bags would be distributed to each local government across the 18 local government areas, summing upto 54,000 bags, while the remaining 6,000 bags would be distributed to churches not captured under CAN.