News

Enough Reasons For Husbands To Be Unfaithful

Published

1 year ago

December 18, 2022

Editor

If someone was caught having an affair, you’d think they’d make a full confession,” observed Caroline, a relationship counsellor. “You’d think they would know if they wanted to stay or leave. You’d think they’ll be able to explain why they were unfaithful and that if they promised to ‘fight’ for their marriage that their actions would match their words. However, for lots of people recovery is not so straight forward and takes far longer than they would have imagined on discovery day”.

Sadly, we’re living in an age when infidelity has never been easier to commit or harder to deal with. A basic cause is the role of the internet. There are countless websites, and apps that exist solely to facilitate easy sex along with the services of prostitutes. Not to forget the fact that men and women are much more likely to be friends today. This was something that was much rarer 30 years ago. Now the general attitude is that the husband or wife thinks it’s acceptable to stay in touch with a lover when their fling is over. They’re ‘friends’ after all.

Cheating on a wife who is pregnant or has recently given birth is one of the last remaining sexual taboos. But there are good psychological reasons behind such a destructive act. According to Caroline, when men cheat during their partner’s pregnancy or just after she’s given birth, it is a clear signal that they are uncomfortable about becoming a father. Sometimes it triggers a crisis about their own father, especially if they are frightened of becoming like him. It can also lead to feelings of entrapment and claustrophobia. Many men tell me they become frozen with fear by their new responsibilities. ‘How on earth am I going to support all these people?’ they wonder. This can be a huge issue if you hate your job and dream of escaping.

Some men are not tempted to cheat during their wife’s first pregnancy – but the second can up them over the edge. Why? Many men find fatherhood and the reality of child care such a shock that they fear the second baby will only make matters worse – only this time they’ll be pushed further down the list of their wife’s priorities. Sex, already an infrequent event because of the pressures of baby number one, will surely only become even rarer when baby number two arrives.

“It’s a biological fact that young children kill a couple’s sex life”, observes Caroline. “For the first 18 months after a baby is born, all the oxytocin – the bonding hormone – goes into the relationship between mother and child. And let’s not forget, men need sex because it is the only way it is socially acceptable for them to get close to someone. Into this mix, it’s hardly surprising that escapism of a fling is so tempting to many new fathers.

“A word of reassurance, however, couples with children are more likely to survive an affair than those without. Children force us to find a balance between satisfying individual short-term goals and considering others and the greater good.”

One fact that shouldn’t be over-looked is women’s contributory factor to the male misbehaving badly game. “Most ‘expectant’ married men feel their wives ‘leave’ the relationship first.

According to Caroline: “This was a shock for the average blamelessly monogamous woman. Lots of women become so wrapped up in their children that they neglect their husband. I’ve lost count of the men who tell me “she was too good of a mother and not a good wife. And so every time someone talks about ‘beautiful’ children, my alarm bells go off because it sounds like the children have been put on centre stage, and not just adored but idolised. Not even the most doting father will be able to cope with being a bit part in his own marriage for long.

“Many men just want to please their partner and so don’t rock the boat – even when they’re unhappy with the attention they receive from their wives.”
VANGUARD

News

Economic Hardship: Pastor Suspends Collection Of Offerings Church[VIDEO]

Published

23 mins ago

May 19, 2024

Editor

A pastor in Lagos state has caught the eyes of Nigerians after announcing the suspension of offering collection in his church.

In a trending video, the pastor could be seen telling his church members that henceforth, offerings will no longer be collected because of the situation of the country.

He stated that in these times that people spend more money to buy petrol and pay more for transportation, it would be unfair to collect offerings from them.

He said until the petrol price is reduced, his church will not collect money from its congregation. He called on all pastors to stop collecting offerings from their congregation.

Watch the video below:

News

Shettima Launches NEDC’s School Enrollment Drive Programme

Published

14 hours ago

May 18, 2024

Editor

Vice President Kashim Shettima has launched the Accelerated Senior Secondary School Education Programme (ASSEP) initiated by the North-East Development Commission (NEDC) in collaboration with the office of the VP to enhance child enrollment drive in schools within the North-East sub-region.

Speaking during the launching of the programme in Bauchi on Saturday, the VP said that consequences of the nation’s action and inaction were evident in all indices used to assess development.

He said while primary education provides a foundation, secondary education is a bridge, adding that the Northeast sub-region has been the victim of inability to enforce a uniform policy to drive school and the persistent cultural perversion to formal education in the country.

“We in the Northeast occupy a quantum of position in ranking of essential services. Education being a key sector of this country, this is especially pronounced in the post primary education, while the Northeast secondary school enrollment drive stands at 19 percent, far below the nation’s 39 percent,” he said.

Earlier, the Managing Director of NEDC, Mohammed Alkali, said that the primary education completion level of 85 per cent in the Northeast is among the best in Nigeria, but secondary school enrolment is a mere 15 per cent, the second worst nationally.

According to him, due to the challenges in the post-primary education segment, JAMB UTME applications and admissions into tertiary institutions in 2019 were the lowest for the Northeast compared to other regions.

He added that, nationally, the Northeast has the lowest number of teachers and the highest percentage 55 per cent of those available are without literacy skills.

The MD also revealed that the challenges in the post-primary education segment include weak quality indices and a wide demand-supply gap driven by economic and cultural factors.

“The Accelerated Senior Secondary Education Programme seeks to boost the post primary education rating across the North East region through improved enrolment into tertiary institutions.

“It’s also to improve skills development as well as the elevation of teacher quality. It would pay special focus on Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics and communication.

“These would foster creativity and critical thinking; motivates and inspires young people to generate new technologies and ideas to learn from inquiry-based tasks,” he said.

Alkali also explained that the programme would also raise awareness about after-school possibilities and the potential for diligent students to become successful and prominent contributors to the North East region and Nigeria at large.

He expressed gratitude to the Federal Government especially, the Vice President for the deep interest and commitment to human development in the North-East.

News

Edo Police Break Silence On Operatives Fighting Dirty In Viral Video

Published

14 hours ago

May 18, 2024

Editor

By Joseph Ebi Kanjo

The Edo State Police Command says a trending video showing two operatives of the command engaging in a fight is a handiwork of mischief makers.

In the video which has gone viral on the internet, two policemen are seen fighting themselves, while a voice commentary in the background claims they are from the Igueben Decisional Police Station headquarters in the state.

A writeup also attached to a version of the video sighted by Info Daily also claims that the policemen were fighting because of sharing formula of money collected from motorists on the highway. The writeup also claims that the incident happened yesterday, May 17th, 2024.

But reacting to the viral video in a statement issued by SP Chidi Nwabuzor, Police Public Relations Officer, the command said contrary to the claim, the incident happened in 2020, adding that disciplinary measures were taken against the erring policemen.

The statement which issued electronically to newsmen in Benin on Saturday evening partly reads: “Edo State Police Command wishes to inform the general public that it’s aware of a video trending on the internet showing two policemen that engaged themselves in a fight in public spaces and wishes to state as follows that;

“The now trending video happened in April 2020 in a community called Ebelle in the Igueben local government area of Edo State.

“The two erring policemen, namely; (i) F/NO.491112 CPL Ozimeade Aidonojie and (ii) F/NO. 516384 PC Salubi Stephen were attached to Ebelle Police Divisional Headquarters.

“They defaulted, tried in an orderly and upon conviction dismissed from the Force for the offence of discreditable conduct contrary to Paragraph ‘E’ Sub Section 111 of the Police Act and Regulations 370 Cap. P19 of Federation of Nigeria 2004.”

Nwabuzor in the statement reiterated the state Commissioner of Police, Funsho Adegboye, commitment to “making Edo State a desired secured state where the law abiding citizens and the general public go about their lawful businesses in making Edo State economic hubs of Nigeria without fear or intimidation.”