News

Enough Reasons For Husbands To Be Unfaithful

Published

3 years ago

December 18, 2022

Editor

If someone was caught having an affair, you’d think they’d make a full confession,” observed Caroline, a relationship counsellor. “You’d think they would know if they wanted to stay or leave. You’d think they’ll be able to explain why they were unfaithful and that if they promised to ‘fight’ for their marriage that their actions would match their words. However, for lots of people recovery is not so straight forward and takes far longer than they would have imagined on discovery day”.

Sadly, we’re living in an age when infidelity has never been easier to commit or harder to deal with. A basic cause is the role of the internet. There are countless websites, and apps that exist solely to facilitate easy sex along with the services of prostitutes. Not to forget the fact that men and women are much more likely to be friends today. This was something that was much rarer 30 years ago. Now the general attitude is that the husband or wife thinks it’s acceptable to stay in touch with a lover when their fling is over. They’re ‘friends’ after all.

Cheating on a wife who is pregnant or has recently given birth is one of the last remaining sexual taboos. But there are good psychological reasons behind such a destructive act. According to Caroline, when men cheat during their partner’s pregnancy or just after she’s given birth, it is a clear signal that they are uncomfortable about becoming a father. Sometimes it triggers a crisis about their own father, especially if they are frightened of becoming like him. It can also lead to feelings of entrapment and claustrophobia. Many men tell me they become frozen with fear by their new responsibilities. ‘How on earth am I going to support all these people?’ they wonder. This can be a huge issue if you hate your job and dream of escaping.

Some men are not tempted to cheat during their wife’s first pregnancy – but the second can up them over the edge. Why? Many men find fatherhood and the reality of child care such a shock that they fear the second baby will only make matters worse – only this time they’ll be pushed further down the list of their wife’s priorities. Sex, already an infrequent event because of the pressures of baby number one, will surely only become even rarer when baby number two arrives.

“It’s a biological fact that young children kill a couple’s sex life”, observes Caroline. “For the first 18 months after a baby is born, all the oxytocin – the bonding hormone – goes into the relationship between mother and child. And let’s not forget, men need sex because it is the only way it is socially acceptable for them to get close to someone. Into this mix, it’s hardly surprising that escapism of a fling is so tempting to many new fathers.

“A word of reassurance, however, couples with children are more likely to survive an affair than those without. Children force us to find a balance between satisfying individual short-term goals and considering others and the greater good.”

One fact that shouldn’t be over-looked is women’s contributory factor to the male misbehaving badly game. “Most ‘expectant’ married men feel their wives ‘leave’ the relationship first.

According to Caroline: “This was a shock for the average blamelessly monogamous woman. Lots of women become so wrapped up in their children that they neglect their husband. I’ve lost count of the men who tell me “she was too good of a mother and not a good wife. And so every time someone talks about ‘beautiful’ children, my alarm bells go off because it sounds like the children have been put on centre stage, and not just adored but idolised. Not even the most doting father will be able to cope with being a bit part in his own marriage for long.

“Many men just want to please their partner and so don’t rock the boat – even when they’re unhappy with the attention they receive from their wives.”
VANGUARD

News

Peter Obi Condemns Tinubu’s Saint Lucia Trip

Published

39 minutes ago

June 28, 2025

Editor

Labour Party leader and former presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has criticised President Bola Tinubu’s planned trip to Saint Lucia, describing it as poorly timed and lacking in sensitivity, especially amid Nigeria’s deepening economic and security challenges.

Tinubu is expected to leave Nigeria on Saturday for Saint Lucia and is also scheduled to attend the upcoming BRICS summit in Brazil.

In a post shared on X (formerly Twitter) on Saturday, Obi expressed dismay over the president’s travel, questioning the state of governance in the country.

Obi argued that Tinubu’s trip highlights a pattern of misplaced priorities by the administration, particularly at a time when citizens are grappling with widespread hunger and insecurity.

“What I have seen and witnessed in the last two years has left me in shock about poor governance delivery and apparent channelling of energy into politics and satisfaction of the elites, while the masses in our midst are languishing in want,” Obi stated.

He lamented the toll of rising insecurity across Nigeria, pointing out the country’s deteriorating safety situation.

“In the past two years, Nigeria has lost more people to all sorts of criminality than a country that is officially at war.

“Without any twilight, Nigeria ranks among the most insecure places in the world. Nigerians are hungrier, and most people do not know where their next meal will come from,” he wrote.

Obi said he was stunned when he learned of the President’s travel plans, especially following what he described as a recent holiday in Lagos.

“With such a gory picture of one’s country, you can imagine my bewilderment when I saw a news release from the Presidency announcing that President Bola Tinubu is departing Nigeria today for a visit to Saint Lucia in the Caribbean,” he said.

Quoting Saint Lucia’s Prime Minister, Philip J. Pierre, Obi noted that the visit comprises both official and personal segments.

“According to the Prime Minister’s announcement, ‘two of these days, June 30 and July 1, will be dedicated to an official visit, with the remainder of the trip set aside as a personal vacation,” he said.

Obi noted that he initially found the report hard to believe.

“I told the person who drew my attention to the Caribbean story that it cannot be true and that the President is just coming back from a holiday in Lagos.

“I didn’t want to believe that anybody in the position of authority, more so the President… would contemplate a leisure trip at this time,” Obi said.

He condemned Tinubu’s failure to visit disaster-stricken areas like Minna in Niger State, where over 200 people reportedly died and hundreds remain missing due to flooding.

“This is a President going for leisure when he couldn’t visit Minna, Niger State where over two hundred lives were lost and over 700 persons still missing in a flood natural disaster,” he said.

Obi also took issue with Tinubu’s recent trip to Benue State, claiming it was politically motivated rather than compassionate.

“The other state in crisis where over two hundred lives were murdered, the President yielded to public pressure and visited Makurdi… for what turned out to be a political jamboree than condolence as public holiday was declared and children made to line up to receive the President who couldn’t even reach the village, the scene of the brutal attack,” he said.

Drawing comparisons between Nigeria and Saint Lucia, Obi questioned the logic of prioritising a visit to the Caribbean nation over addressing pressing domestic issues.

“Makurdi is 937.4 Km², which is over 59% bigger than St Lucia, which is 617 km², and Minna is 6789 square kilometres, which is ten times bigger than St Lucia. St Lucia, with a population of 180,000, is less than half of Makurdi’s 489,839 and Minna, with 532,000 is almost three times the population of St Lucia,” the former Anambra governor said.

He concluded his post by stressing the urgent need for leadership that is grounded in empathy and focused on addressing the suffering of ordinary Nigerians.

He said, “I don’t think the situation in this country today calls for leisure for anybody in a position of authority, more so the President, on whose desk the buck stops.

“This regime has repeatedly shown its insensitivity and lack of passion for the populace…”

Obi added, “This very obvious indifference of the federal government to the suffering of the Nigerian poor should urgently be reversed.

“One had expected the President to be asking God for extra hours in a day for the challenges, but what we see is a concentration of efforts in the 2027 election and on satisfying the wealthy while the mass poor continues to multiply in number.”

News

World Bank Lists Nigeria Among 39 Nations Facing Rising Poverty, Hunger

Published

54 minutes ago

June 28, 2025

Editor

The World Bank has listed Nigeria among 39 countries where poverty and hunger are deepening as a result of conflict and instability.

In a report released on Friday, the bank said the economies, a mix of low- and middle-income countries, span all global regions. Among them are Afghanistan, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, Ethiopia, Libya, Mali, Nigeria, Sudan, Ukraine, and Zimbabwe.

The report, which assesses the economic impact of conflict and fragility in the post-COVID-19 era, revealed that 21 of the 39 countries are experiencing active conflict.

According to the findings, extreme poverty is rising more rapidly in these countries, taking a severe toll on economic development, worsening hunger, and derailing progress toward key development goals.

Since 2020, the report noted, the average per capita GDP of these economies has declined by 1.8 per cent annually, in contrast to a 2.9 per cent growth rate recorded in other developing countries.

The report partly reads: “This year, 421 million people are struggling on less than $3 a day in economies afflicted by conflict or instability—more than in the rest of the world combined.

“That number is projected to rise to 435 million, or nearly 60% of the world’s extreme poor, by 2030.”

News

Nigeria’s Public Debt Rises To N149trn

Published

56 minutes ago

June 28, 2025

Editor

Nigeria’s total public debt rose to N149.39 trillion as of March 31, 2025, according to the latest data released by the Debt Management Office (DMO).

The nation’s public debt represents the indebtedness of the federal and state governments, as well as the Federal Capital Territory.

The Federal Government owes N74.89 trillion, while the 36 states and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) owe the balance of N3.87 trillion.

The figure represents about 4. 72 trillion or 3.3 percent increase over the preceding quarter, with a debt stock figure of N144.67 trillion.

The data showed that external debt rose minimally by 0.5 percent between the end of 2024 and the end of March 2025 (N344 billion).

Although the nation’s external borrowing has been quite low since the last quarter of 2024, the Naira depreciation has had a very negative effect on the stock.

Domestic debt stood at N78.76 trillion as of the end of the first quarter compared to N65.65 trillion in March 2024.