Connect with us

Metro

My Wife’s Chest Is Like Bathroom Slippers, Man Tells Court

Published

on

Photo: TRIBUNE Online

In what that can only be described as a mix of courtroom drama and stand-up comedy, a 54-year-old Lusaka man of Zambia, at the Matero Court, shocked everyone when he gave testimony about his marriage challenges.

The man, who might soon need witness protection from his wife, blamed her aging body and his “biological programming” for his wandering eyes.

“My Lord, I’m a victim here,” he began, adjusting his tie like a man about to plead for his life.

Advertisement

“I look at my wife in bed, and I feel like I’m sleeping next to my fellow man!”

According to Zambia Observer, gasps filled the room, followed by stifled laughter when he added, “Her chest is like bathroom slippers, and her belly looks like a zebra!

READ ALSO: Woman Prays Court For Custody Of 14-year-old Daughter

Advertisement

The judge, trying hard to suppress a smile, asked, “So you’re saying motherhood and time have ‘ruined’ her beauty? Is that your excuse?”

Before he could respond, murmurs of “Awe sure!” and “Yaba!” spread through the courtroom.

Where is the beautiful woman I married 18 years ago?

Advertisement

“This one here… eh, my Lord, I can’t!” he declared, dramatically shaking his head like a man forced to eat nshima without relish.

The women in the gallery exchanged looks that screamed, “This man needs deliverance!”

READ ALSO: Court Dissolves 4-year-old Marriage Over Wife’s Bad Character

Advertisement

But he wasn’t done. “It’s not my fault. All men are born with this virus of ch-tng! It’s in our blood!” he exclaimed, pounding his chest for effect.

The courtroom erupted with laughter, and one woman shouted from the back, “Boss, if it’s a virus, then you need a vaccine called manners!”

Another lady, clearly unimpressed, added, “Before you talk about bathroom slippers, show us your six-pack. Oh, sorry, I meant your one-pack!”

Advertisement

The man looked flustered, but he stuck to his argument, claiming women should “accept us as we are because that’s how God made us.”

The judge, barely able to keep a straight face, delivered a lesson: “Marriage is not about six-packs or zebra-free bellies.

READ ALSO: Trump’s 8-point Tax Provision In US Revealed

Advertisement

“It’s about love, respect, and appreciating the sacrifices your partner makes.”

He added, “And sir, maybe look in the mirror before calling someone ‘rusty.’ You’re not exactly shiny yourself!”

As the court adjourned, women outside were heard saying, “Zebra belly? That’s called stripes of motherhood—he should kneel down and thank her!”

Advertisement

One man whispered, “Eh, this guy has ended his marriage today. Someone call the fire brigade for his house tonight!”

The case might not have had a legal ruling, but it left the nation with one undeniable fact: Zambian humor, like love, knows no bounds!
(TRIBUNE)

Advertisement

Metro

7 African Countries That Experience Snow

Published

on

By

When people talk about Africa, snow is rarely part of the conversation. The continent is better known for its warm weather, deserts, and beaches than blizzards or ski slopes. Yet scattered across its vast landscapes are places where temperatures drop low enough for snow to fall and sometimes stick.

1. South Africa

Snow isn’t unusual in South Africa, especially in the Drakensberg Mountains and areas around Ceres and Sutherland.

Advertisement

The country even boasts a ski resort, Tiffindell, where visitors can enjoy skiing and snowboarding between June and August.

2. Lesotho

Lesotho, known as the “Kingdom in the Sky”, sits entirely above 1,000 metres in elevation. That high altitude makes it one of the snowiest countries in Southern Africa. The Afriski Mountain Resort becomes a popular destination during the winter months, offering a genuine alpine experience.

Advertisement

READ ALSO:Full List: Countries Most And Least Likely To Get US Visa For 2026 World Cup

3. Morocco

In Morocco, the Atlas Mountains receive regular snowfall between December and March. The Oukaïmeden Ski Resort, located just outside Marrakech, attracts locals and tourists eager to ski or simply enjoy a mountain escape, all within view of the desert.

Advertisement

4. Algeria

The Tell Atlas and Aurès Mountains in Algeria get dusted with snow each winter. Towns such as Setif and Batna often experience several snowy days, creating a rare but beautiful contrast between the icy peaks and the nearby Sahara sands.

5. Tunisia

Advertisement

In Tunisia’s Kroumirie Mountains, particularly around Aïn Draham, snow is a familiar winter visitor. The region’s pine forests and rolling hills transform into a quiet, white landscape that feels far removed from the country’s sunny Mediterranean coast.

READ ALSO:UK Police Recover Body Of 16-year-old Nigerian Who Drowned In Colwick Country Park

6. Kenya

Advertisement

Snow in Kenya may sound impossible, but the peaks of Mount Kenya are permanently capped with ice. Although the glaciers are shrinking, climbers still trek to the summit to witness the rare sight of snow just a few degrees south of the equator.

7. Tanzania

Tanzania’s Mount Kilimanjaro remains Africa’s most famous snowy landmark.

Advertisement

Its white summit rises above the plains, a stunning reminder of the continent’s diverse climates and a view that has inspired countless travellers and photographers.

Snow might not be the first thing that comes to mind when people think of Africa, but it’s part of the story too. In these high-altitude regions, winter shows up quietly.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Metro

NDLEA Arrests 54 Suspected Traffickers, Seizes 1,506.57kg of Drugs In Edo

Published

on

By

Operatives of the Edo State Command of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, NDLEA, have arrested 54 suspected drug traffickers with 1,506.57kg of various narcotic drugs.

The state commander of the agency, Mitchell Ofoyeju disclosed this on Tuesday while presenting the operational scorecard of the command in Benin City.

Ofoyeju said the seizure of the drugs and arrest of the suspects took place in the month of September.

Advertisement

He added that a total of 66,078,57kg of skunk cannabis were destroyed by the Command in the period under review.

READ ALSO:NDLEA Arrests Lady Smuggling Drugs Inside Butt Pads, Phone Chargers

The Commander, who said that the command recorded significant successes in its operations within the month, added that it was part of its concerted effort to combat drug trafficking and abuse in the state.

Advertisement

He gave the breakdown of the arrested suspects to include 43 males and 11 females.

He also added that during the operation six illicit plantations spanning over 26.43 hectares were destroyed.

Ofoyeju explained that the destroyed plantations were located at Ugbogui Forest, Ovia South West, Ataroro Forest, Owan West, Urohi Forest, Esan West, and Ogu Forest, Igueben Local Government Areas of the State with an estimated yield of 66,078.5715 kg of skunk cannabis.

Advertisement

READ ALSO:NDLEA Busts Cartel, Recovers ₦6.4bn Drugs From Kingpins

“The command also intercepted 1,506.57kg of illicit drugs,” Mitchell stated while emphasising the command’s commitment to dismantling drug trafficking networks operating within the state.

“The breakdown of the seized drugs is as follows: Cannabis Sativa 1,502. 26 Kg, psychotropic substances 4.27kg including tramadol 3.964kg, nitrazepam 0.087kg, Swinol 0.0445kg, Danabol (Molly) 0.1163kg, methamphetamine 0.0184 Kg, cocaine 0.028 Kg and heroin 0.014kg”, he said.

Advertisement

The NDLEA Commander in the state while expressing determination in the command’s campaign against drug trafficking, reiterated the importance of strategic operations in safeguarding communities and reducing drug demand.

He posited that the successs signified a critical step toward reclaiming the safety and health of citizens, as Edo State continues to grapple with the pressing issues of drug trafficking and abuse.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Metro

Army Officer Dies After Wife Allegedly Sets Him Ablaze In Akwa Ibom

Published

on

By

A Nigerian Army officer, Lieutenant Samson Haruna, has died after sustaining severe burns when his wife allegedly set him on fire during a domestic dispute in Akwa Ibom State.

The incident reportedly occurred on September 22, 2025, at the Wellington Bassey Barracks in Ibagwa, Abak Local Government Area of the state.

According to a report shared on X by counter-insurgency expert Zagazola Makama on Tuesday, the late officer, who served as a Regimental Medical Officer with the Army’s 6 Battalion, had a heated altercation with his wife, identified as Mrs. Samson Haruna, which escalated violently.

Advertisement

READ ALSO:14-year-old Dies After Botched Secret Breast Surgery

Sources cited by Makama alleged that during the argument, the woman doused her husband with petrol and set him ablaze.

Lt. Haruna was first treated at the military medical unit within the barracks before being transferred to the University of Uyo Teaching Hospital, where he later died from his injuries despite efforts by medical personnel to save him.

Advertisement

Military sources confirmed that the suspect has been arrested and remains in custody as investigations continue into the circumstances surrounding the incident.

Continue Reading

Trending

Exit mobile version