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OPINION: Absurd Wars, Absurd Lords

Published

2 months ago

November 17, 2025

Editor

By Lasisi Olagunju

“Don’t fight Man,” said Lion to his Cub, but the Cub didn’t listen. The Cub went looking for Man.

He saw a Bull. “Are you Man?”

“No, I bear Man’s yoke.”

Next he saw a Horse. “Are you Man?”

“No, Man rides me.”

Then he saw someone splitting logs with wedges: a Man!

“Fight me, Man!” said the Cub.

“I will! But first, help me split this log.”

When the Cub put his paws in the crack, Man knocked out the wedge, trapping the Cub’s paws.

The Cub finally pulled Man. loose and went home with bloody paws. Lesson learnt.

The author of that story is ancient storyteller, Aesop. He is believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620 and 564 BCE. Thousands of years, yet his wisdom endures. American writer and writing instructor, Laura Gibbs, curates and retells the stories in uncountable numbers. If you like to fight, read the above story again. It is from Aesop via Gibbs.

When you saw ‘war’ in the headline above, you probably thought I was taking a long excursion into the latest theatre of the absurd: drama starring a minister and a soldier dragging an expensive land in Abuja. No.

There was a Yoruba musician called Ayinla Omowura. He was very popular and was rich and ‘powerful’. One day in May 1980, he drove his Mercedes Benz car to a beer parlour in Abeokuta in hot pursuit of his defected band manager. The jilted big man in a big car wanted back an old motorcycle from the ex-manager. There was a push, then a shove; and a fight. A tumbler, hurled in rage, struck the strongman on the head. The rich musician died in that barroom brawl and was buried that day; his place others took in music, in his hometown, and in his home.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Kukah And A Nation Of Marabouts

Big people take big risks. Sometimes they drag all of us into their trouble. Home and abroad, tired, retired, unretired, almost all Generals, Colonels, Majors, captains and sergeants and corporals lined up behind a ramrod naval Lieutenant. The drill was scary. Think about this: What do you think would have happened to our country if any of the key actors had suffered what Omowura suffered in that moment of anger and banger? And all because of land; earth which belongs to no one. Even Elephant knows that the earth only lends space to those who walk gently upon it. Fragile Chameleon is asked why he walks gingerly. He answers: “So that the ground will not cave in.”

There is another lesson in power and contest for space, this one pure, carefully recorded history:

One hundred and sixty five years ago, Bishop Samuel Ajayi Crowther’s son, Dr. Samuel Crowther Junior, had just returned to Abeokuta from medical school in London. Abeokuta’s native doctors who thought themselves ‘physicians’ were hostile to what he brought. They said no to him practising his alien art in their sphere of influence. There was a face-off, followed by a standoff. They said their power was mightier than the power of the foreign medicine man. When iron strikes iron, one must bend. A contest of powers was agreed upon between the two sides.

Details of that war of ‘medicine’ is told by an eyewitness, Robert Campbell, in his ‘A Pilgrimage to My Motherland’ (1861); the story was reproduced a hundred years later by A. H. M. Kirk-Greene in his ‘America in the Niger Valley: A Colonization Centenary’. So, how did the battle go? Listen to Campbell:

“Time was given for preparation on both sides. In the afternoon, the regulars appeared, clothed in their most costly garments, and well provided with orishas or charms attached to all of their persons and dress. In the meantime Mr. Crowther had also prepared to receive them. A table was placed in the middle of the room, and on it a dish in which were a few drops of sulphuric acid, so placed that a slight motion of the table would cause it to flow into a mixture of chlorate of potassa and white sugar. A clock was also in the room, from which a small bird issued every hour, and announced the time by cooing. This was arranged so as to coo while they were present.

“Mr. Crowther then made a brief harangue, and requested them to say who would lead off in the contest. This privilege they accorded to him. The door was closed, the curtains drawn down. All waited in breathless expectation. Presently the bird (in the clock) came out, and to their astonishment cooed twelve times, and suddenly from the midst of the dish burst forth flame and a terrible explosion. The scene that followed was indescribable: one fellow rushed through the window and scampered; another in his consternation took refuge in the bedroom, under the bed, from which he was with difficulty afterwards removed.”

I took the script of that 1860 ‘drama’ to my friend, the scientist. The clock, the cock and the chemistry cocktail. What really happened? My friend said a people that cannot grasp scientific concepts becomes vulnerable to fear and superstition. Dr. Crowther simply staged a drama, essentially a controlled chemical explosion: sulphuric acid (dehydrator and acid catalyst); sugar (fuel), and potassium chlorate (oxidizer). From my friend I learnt that “the mixture reacts violently when combined, producing flame, smoke, and noise.”

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Crowther did not shout, boast, or brandish charms and amulets; there was no incantation. No abuse. No insults. He simply applied science; chemistry: sulphuric acid, sugar, and potassium chlorate; an elegant, potent sequence of oxidiser, fuel, and catalyst. With a clock-bird timed to coo and trigger panic, and with a well-placed chemical reaction prepared to ignite and explode, the young doctor used knowledge (not noise) to demonstrate and assert superiority.

Curses, threats and abuse are pollutants. We had more than enough last week. But enough has been said already about the Abuja land war since it unfolded last week. The raw lesson there is that real, unleavened authority easily defeats loud, raw hubris.

Central to the Abuja land drama of last week is anger and the use of language. It may be too late to bend our dry fishes. But, how do we avoid it in the next set of leaders? I end with this 170-year-old quote:

“Do all in your power to teach your children self-government. If a child is passionate, teach him by gentle and patient means to curb his temper. If he is greedy, cultivate liberality in him.
If he is selfish, promote generosity.
If he is sulky, charm him out of it,
by encouraging frank good humor…”(‘How to teach Children’ published in ‘The R. I. Schoolmaster’, Vol. 1, No. 5 JULY, 1855).

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Eating Takeout Food Often May Increase Heart Disease Risk — Study

Published

3 days ago

December 30, 2025

Editor

Research suggests that higher takeout food consumption may increase a person’s risk of cardiovascular disease, like heart disease.

In a new study, published in Food Science & Nutrition, researchers said eating takeout food too often can influence systemic inflammation that underlies much cardiovascular disease.

The study of over eight thousand people in the 2009 to 2018 U.S. National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) found that those who eat greater amounts of takeout food are likely to have various elevated risk factors for heart disease.

They were interviewed in their homes and also visited a mobile examination centre, where they recalled their food intake, received cardiometabolic health assessments, and had blood collected.

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The researchers found a correlation between the amount of takeout food a person consumes and their likelihood of developing chronic low-level inflammation, a key driver of cardiovascular pathology.

Deaths from cardiovascular disease and the consumption of takeout foods are both on the rise, and while that does not prove a causal relationship, the study explores whether there is a connection between the two.

The study tracked degrees of systemic inflammation according to the Dietary Inflammatory Index (DII), a scale that quantifies the risk of inflammation related to the intake of specific dietary substances.

The three major takeaways from the analysis included that a higher level of takeout food consumption corresponded to an unfavourable cardiometabolic profile consisting of lower HDL, as well as higher triglycerides, fasting glucose, serum insulin, and insulin resistance.

Jayne Morgan, MD, cardiologist and Vice President of Medical Affairs in a reaction, who was not involved in the study, explained that “Takeout food raises the cardiovascular risk not because of one ingredient, but because of a predictable combination of nutrients, additives, and preparation methods that adversely affect blood pressure, lipids, insulin sensitivity, inflammation, and endothelial function.”

“This includes excess sodium that increases blood volume and blood vessel stiffness, and unhealthy fats, usually saturated fats or trans fats, that increase cholesterol level and atherosclerosis, a condition that can lead to heart attack and stroke.”

Michelle Routhenstein, Preventive Cardiology Dietitian at Entirely Nourished, also not involved in this study, declared, “It is also important to recognise that frequent takeout use often reflects broader lifestyle pressures such as demanding schedules, limited access to cooking resources, irregular meals, and disrupted sleep, all of which can quietly compound cardiovascular risk.”

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How To Identify Fake Kiss Condoms In Circulation

Published

3 days ago

December 30, 2025

Editor

The National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control (NAFDAC) has recently warned Nigerians about the circulation of counterfeit Kiss brand condoms in major markets across the country.

Contents
Original DKT Kiss condoms
Fake Kiss condoms

In a public alert published on its website recently and referenced as Public Alert No. 042/2025, the agency said the warning followed information received from DKT International Nigeria, a non-governmental organisation involved in contraceptive social marketing and HIV/AIDS prevention.

NAFDAC stated, “The National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control is notifying the public about the sale and distribution of fake Kiss condoms in various Nigerian markets.

“The information was received from the MAH-DKT International Nigeria, a leading non-governmental organisation focused on contraceptive social marketing. Its mission is to provide Nigerians with affordable and safe options for family planning and HIV/AIDS prevention.

“The fake Kiss condoms have been reported to be found in Onitsha Market, Idumota Market, Trade Fair Market, and various markets in Kano, Abuja, Uyo, Gombe, Enugu, and others.”

Kiss condom is a brand of male latex condoms designed to offer sexual protection, including the prevention of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections such as HIV, gonorrhoea and syphilis.

To help consumers avoid counterfeit products, NAFDAC outlined key differences between original and fake Kiss condoms.

Original DKT Kiss condoms
The original product comes in a light red box pack with clear instructions printed on the lower part of the pack, including single-use warnings and storage and caution information. The box contains detailed medical device information, including MDSS GmbH, Germany, and a complete Nigerian address at Isolo Industrial Layout, Oshodi-Apapa Expressway.

The condom pack is light red, with the word “Kiss” closely written on six lines. The wallet outer pack is lighter red, carries the Oshodi-Apapa address, manufacturer details, and a clear product description beside the condom image. The hidden flap includes revision dates, medical device details, and caution information, while the wallet inner contains detailed instructions and eight bullet points under important notes.

The original condom is large, oval-shaped, well-lubricated, and has a large teat end for semen collection.

Fake Kiss condoms
In contrast, fake Kiss condoms come in darker-coloured box packs with little or no additional information. Some boxes are plain white inside and lack condom images. The address is wrongly listed as 42, Montgomery Road, Yaba, Lagos, while the manufacturer’s address is incomplete or missing. Storage and caution information is absent.

The condom pack is darker, with “Kiss” loosely written on five lines and wide spacing. The condom strip is longer than the original. The wallet outer pack is also darker red, carries incorrect or missing addresses, lacks colour wave designs, and shows inconsistencies in barcode lines. Medical device and caution information are missing, and the hidden flap contains no details.

Inside the wallet, information is summarised with only six bullet points. The fake condom is thinner, round-shaped, less lubricated, and has a smaller teat end.
(TRIBUNE)

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Lagos: Police Arrest 14 Suspected Traffic Robbers On Lekki-Epe Expressway

Published

3 days ago

December 30, 2025

Editor

Fourteen persons suspected to be involved in traffic-related robbery have been arrested at various points along the Lekki-Epe Expressway in Lagos over the past two weeks.

The arrests were confirmed on Tuesday by the Lagos State Police Command spokesperson, SP Abimbola Adebisi, via a post on her official X handle, @AbimbolaShotayo.

According to her, operatives of the Command’s Tactical Squad based in Elemoro carried out the operations that led to the suspects’ apprehension.

She explained that the arrests followed sustained patrols and intelligence-driven operations aimed at curbing criminal activities associated with traffic congestion and improving the safety of motorists and other road users along the busy corridor.

Adebisi noted that the development reflects the Command’s determination to strengthen security and uphold law and order on the Lekki-Epe axis, adding that the Tactical Squad has continued to proactively identify crime-prone areas and respond swiftly to threats posed by criminal elements.

She called on residents and commuters to support police efforts by providing timely and credible information that could assist in preventing and detecting crime.

“Security is a shared responsibility. Members of the public are encouraged to stay alert and promptly report any suspicious movements or activities to the nearest police station,” she said.

The police spokesperson further reassured residents and road users of the Command’s commitment to maintaining aggressive patrols and security operations to protect lives and property in the area.

She reiterated the Command’s community policing message, “See Something, Say Something,” stressing the importance of cooperation between the police and the public in sustaining peace and security.