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OPINION: Fufeyin The Compound Food

Published

3 months ago

June 27, 2025

Tunde Odesola

When two or more words combine to form a new word, what you get is a compound word, which is also called a portmanteau. An example of a compound/portmanteau word is brunch – a combination of ‘breakfast’ and ‘lunch’; motel: ‘motor’ and ‘hotel’ – a roadside lodging where motorists park directly outside the rooms to rest; podcast is a word coined from ‘iPod’ and ‘broadcast’, just as sunlight is forged from ‘sun’ and ‘light’. Even the word ‘portmanteau’ itself is a portmanteau word, combining ‘porter’ (to carry) and ‘manteau’ (a cloak).

Did you know there’s a compound side to food? Come take a bite. A balanced diet is a healthy meal that nourishes the body with essential nutrients in the right proportions. Adalu is a Yoruba delicacy consisting of corn, beans, and palm oil, popular in Benin and Togo. Abula is a classic Yoruba soup of ewedu and gbegiri that caresses amala on the descent journey to the belly. Oyinbo people, too, have their own compound/portmanteau meals. They have croffle – a combination of croissant dough and waffle; meatza – a pizza crust made from meat; turducken – a roast dish consisting of a boned chicken inside a boned duck, which is placed inside a partially boned turkey.

Is my tale getting more delicious? Good! “Give me second base, jare,” Fela Anikulapo-Kuti would say when he diminuendoes his tune to change musical notes. I’m just about to change to the second base of this literary offering and enter into the underground spiritual game. Hahaha! Just sit back and enjoy, please.

Here we go. There’s a new compound meal in town. The new meal is a portmanteau of madness. It’s as disgusting as it’s disturbing. It’s crazy, irritating and sickening. It’s a food combination that the brainless are guzzling with gusto right now. It is Fufeyin, a meal of fufu and eyin. Eyin is a Yoruba word for egg – protein-rich, formerly a food on common plates, but now a permanent resident on the exclusive menu for executive plates. Fufu is the long-lasting starchy staple famous among the masses on 0-0-1 unsquared meal, enduring in the stomach from a.m. to p.m.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Pounding Yams On Stubborn Bald Heads

Fufeyin is the new opium for the brainless. It’s an unhygienic food combination that leads to acidic farts and watery gastronomic leaks. Fufeyin is a metaphor for moral rot – a symbolic dish served hot by deceivers to the devoutly daft. It’s the burnt offering rejected by God, but guzzled by the gullible, eyes shut, wallets open. The ‘fufu’ in Fufeyin symbolises a poverty background, the ‘eyin’ in it symbolises craze for wealth. Fufeyin is evil. Fufeyin is a meal made for the ignorant and the stupid by an irritating chef who doesn’t know how to light a stove.

Can we spare 60 seconds to talk about brains, please? It could be less. Let’s place a grown man on a spot marked ‘A’ and place an ant on a spot marked ‘B’. In the heads of the man and the ant, the brains are of different sizes. Having studied ants for more than five decades, the moniker, “Ant Man,” perches fittingly on the laurels of James Traniello, a professor of biology at Boston University. A 2023 publication, “BU’s ‘Ant Man’ studies Ant Brains,” published in Boston University’s digital research journal, The Brink, says Traniello’s work ‘raises questions about how both insect and mammalian brain sizes evolved and about the relationship between the size of the brain and how much energy it requires’.

In a 2020 publication in The Brink, “From Ant Brains, Seeking New Lessons about Human Behaviour and Society,” Traniello says, “Human brains weigh only about 3 pounds, but use about 20 per cent of our energy. Brains are also metabolically selfish, potentially capable of demanding energy dedicated to other organs.”

Science says an ant’s brain is remarkably large in proportion to its body size and sophisticated enough for navigation, swarm intelligence, efficiency, chemical communication, memory and colony coordination. The size of an ant’s brain is 0.01mm, which is 15 per cent of the body mass, with an estimated neuron count of 250,000.

The human brain is about 2 per cent of total body mass, with an 86 billion neuron count and measuring 1,200 – 1,400 cm in size. The human brain has faculties for reasoning, language, memory, creativity, emotion and consciousness.

Traniello, whose research attracted a $1.5m grant, says, “Some types of ants even work together to cultivate and harvest mushrooms for food,” adding that, “Like humans, ants are known for their extraordinary collective intelligence. Cooperating groups are better at problem-solving than individuals in both human and ant societies.”

Although the human brain is far more complex than the ant’s brain, the actions of some people show that a human brain not put to proper use cannot compare with the brain of an ant. Indeed, the irritable way many Nigerians worship glaringly deceitful religious and political leaders, fawning over fake miracles and political promises, shows that an ant’s brain is far superior to some humans’ brains.

Probably the vacuity in humans was what King Solomon noticed when he offered that timeless piece of advice in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 6: verses 6-11: “6. Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! 7. It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8. yet it stores its provisions in summer, and gathers its food at harvest. 9. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—11
And poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.”

The Jewish Virtual Library says Solomon became the King of Israel in approximately 967 B.C.E, that is 2,991 years ago, yet he talks about the ants ‘gathering its food at harvest’, and Professor Traniello, in a 2020 research corroborates King Solomon, saying, “Some types of ants even work together to cultivate and HARVEST mushrooms for food.”

Because I’m not as wise as King Solomon and because I live in the digital age, I’ll depart from the ant metaphor and go after the spider and its web. The spider web holds a fascination for me because of its intriguing comparability with digital technology. So, watch me as I step onto the spider’s intricate web, gingerly avoiding the pitfalls of sticky strands.

Ssshhh! Silence! I’m on the cobweb now, trying to get my balance; it’s bouncy and shaky here, like walking on the slippery terrain of Nigeria. Ha! God, abeg o. Can you believe what I’m seeing? Ha!? So, spiders too write graffiti? Ise eniyan ni ise eranko o – humans behave like animals. Or perhaps worse. Wow, how lovely the spider writes! Can I read out some of the graffiti? OK. Here we go. “While ants build colonies and spiders design cobwebs, humans flock to charlatans selling spiritual fufu and eggs.” Wow! Word!

I can see more graffiti on the wobbly cobwebs. I’ll read them: “Fufeyin and co are a curse on humanity.” “Fufeyin will perish soon.” “There are a million Fufeyins littering different altars in Nigeria.”

Ise eniyan ni ise eranko o – humans and animals behave alike. That’s why life, like a cobweb, is a delicate weave – spun from dreams, sweat, fears, and faith. Like life, the cobweb glistens at its peak, masking its trap in its fragile form, lurking for the next victim. Wise up, brethren; Fufeyin is the trap, stop falling mugun.

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

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News

Customs Launches One-stop-shop To Cut Cargo Clearance To 48 Hours

Published

29 minutes ago

September 28, 2025

Editor

The Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) says it has officially introduced its ‘One-Stop-Shop (OSS)’ initiative aimed at reducing cargo clearance time to 48 hours.

NCS spokesperson, Abdullahi Maiwada, made this known in a statement on Sunday in Abuja.

Maiwada said the initiative was unveiled recently during a meeting between NCS management and Customs Area Controllers, chaired by the Comptroller-General (C-G), Adewale Adeniyi, in Abuja.

He said the meeting deliberated on the service’s modernisation agenda and the role of leadership in driving reforms across commands.

Maiwada quoted the C-G as describing the OSS as a “transformative shift” which aligned with global best practices and the Federal Government’s Ease of Doing Business policy.

Adeniyi said the reform was designed to sanitise operations, reduce duplication of efforts and ensure predictability in customs procedures.

“The OSS initiative will not only shorten clearance time from 21 days to 48 hours, but it will also strengthen trader confidence, restore transparency and make our operations more business-friendly,” Adeniyi said.

The C-G acknowledged the role of technology in customs operations but also emphasised the importance of physical engagement with officers.

“As much as technology has helped us, it has its limits. There are moments when physical presence, coming together under one roof, adds weight and value to our deliberations,” he said.

The NCS boss said the reform would be piloted at Apapa, Tin Can Island and Onne Ports before being rolled out nationwide.

He added that the initiative was constitutionally supported by the NCS Act 2023 and aligned with the World Trade Organisation’s Trade Facilitation Agreement (TFA).

“This is not just a policy. It is a statement of intent that reflects our determination to build a modern, transparent and trader-friendly Customs Service,” he said.

The spokesperson said that under the OSS framework, all customs units would work jointly on flagged declarations, eliminating multiple checks and reducing delays.

According to him, consignments cleared under the OSS will not be subject to re-interception, thereby reducing costs and enhancing trade facilitation.

He said the meeting also provided a platform to review the NCS accountability framework, including a new central dashboard that tracks clearance times, interventions and stakeholder satisfaction.

News

SEC Warns Nigerians Over AI-generated Investment Scams

Published

1 hour ago

September 28, 2025

Editor

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has warned Nigerians to be cautious of a rising wave of artificial intelligence (AI)-driven scams that are targeting unsuspecting investors with promises of guaranteed profits and fake celebrity endorsements.

The Commission, in a statement, recalled that platforms such as CBEX, Silverkuun, and TOFRO were operating illegally by advertising AI-powered trading systems that promised unrealistic returns.

“These platforms are not registered or regulated by the SEC, yet they continue to mislead the public with false claims of AI-driven investments. They pose serious risks to investors; hence, the Commission issued a series of disclaimers against their activities,” the Commission stated.

The SEC explained that fraudsters are increasingly turning to deepfake videos and AI-generated content to lure victims, noting that manipulated videos featuring politicians, celebrities, and television hosts are being shared through Facebook adverts, Instagram reels, and Telegram groups to give fraudulent platforms an air of credibility.

According to the Commission, “Scammers are exploiting AI to fabricate endorsements and testimonials that appear genuine. This has made traditional fraud detection methods less effective, hence the need for tech-enabled regulation and greater public awareness.”

To counter the growing threat, the SEC explained that it is adopting advanced surveillance systems capable of detecting fraudulent activity in real time, adding that partnerships with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) and the Nigerian Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU) are being strengthened to enable data sharing and joint enforcement actions.

“We are moving from reactive to predictive oversight. This is essential in combating fraud and systemic risks in our market,” the Commission emphasised.

The regulator said it has also engaged social media companies to clamp down on misleading adverts and cautioned influencers against promoting unlicensed investment schemes.

“Any influencer or blogger found to be complicit in promoting illegal platforms will face regulatory sanctions or even prosecution,” the SEC warned.

The Commission urged Nigerians to take extra precautions before investing, stressing that any scheme promising daily profits, zero risk, or celebrity-backed endorsements should be treated with suspicion.

It stated: “Any investment that guarantees unrealistic returns or uses manipulated videos of public figures should immediately raise a red flag.”

The Commission further encouraged Nigerians to verify the registration status of any investment platform on its website, where a list of licensed Capital Market Operators is available.

It added that investors should confirm that registration numbers displayed on company websites match the details on the SEC portal and avoid platforms that only operate through Telegram or WhatsApp without a verifiable office address.

News

Olubadan Unveils Economic Plan For Ibadanland

Published

2 hours ago

September 28, 2025

Editor

The newly crowned 44th Olubadan of Ibadanland, Oba Rashidi Ladoja,
The newly crowned 44th Olubadan of Ibadanland, Oba Rashidi Ladoja, has assured both local and foreign investors of an enabling business environment as he reeled out his socio-economic plan.

Ladoja, who made his first appearance at a Thanksgiving service in his honour at the Ascension of Christ Catholic Church, Bodija, Ibadan, stressed the need for the resuscitation of moribund businesses as well as the employment of the teeming youths in Ibadanland.

He said this had become imperative in order to grow the economy of not only Ibadan but Oyo State as a whole.

He stated that the throne of Olubadan was not about status or bead-wearing but about facilitating the socio-economic growth of Ibadanland.

The monarch added that this could only be achieved with the support of all stakeholders.

According to him, “The major assignment before me as Olubadan of Ibadanland is the growth of Ibadanland.

“The status of Olubadan is not about the wearing of status but ensuring the all-round growth of the town.

“To achieve this feat, I will collaborate with the government at all levels to ensure that Ibadan and Oyo State at large maintain their pace-setter status.

“We are all governing Ibadan. I am just the coordinator. You people are the small Olubadans; I am the big Olubadan.

“Ibadan will be greater by God’s grace and with your support. I am now the king of all religious groups in Ibadan.

“We have never had a record of religious crisis in Ibadan because members of the various religious groups are represented in each family in Ibadanland.

“Ibadan is a fertile land for investment and economic growth. It shall continue to be well with Ibadan.”

In his congratulatory message, the Archbishop of the Catholic Archdiocese of Ibadan, Most Rev Dr Gabriel Abegunrin, described Ladoja’s installation as the new Olubadan as the unfailing providence of God, who had preserved the life of the monarch with strength and wisdom.

According to him, Ladoja’s longevity is a crown of grace, and his enthronement is a divine mandate which entrusted him with peace, unity and the progress of the Ibadan people.

The cleric hailed Ladoja for commencing his reign with an act of thanksgiving in the house of God, saying the gesture of the new monarch reflected not only his humility before God but also his deep recognition of the sacred duty of fostering harmony among all faiths.

“Oba Ladoja has set forth a shining example of interfaith goodwill and mutual respect which will long endure as a legacy of his reign.”

Abegunrin said the church and Christian community in Ibadanland commended Ladoja as a father, leader and custodian of Ibadan heritage, pledging the church’s continued prayers and support as it looked forward to collaborating with the monarch in promoting justice, peace and the common good for all residents of Ibadan.

He, however, prayed that God would bless Oba Ladoja with continued good health, wisdom from above and divine guidance to rule with justice, compassion and courage.

The event was attended by the Olubadan-in-Council, the family of the monarch, Iyalodes and well-wishers.
(TRIBUNE)