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OPINION: Fufeyin The Compound Food

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Tunde Odesola

When two or more words combine to form a new word, what you get is a compound word, which is also called a portmanteau. An example of a compound/portmanteau word is brunch – a combination of ‘breakfast’ and ‘lunch’; motel: ‘motor’ and ‘hotel’ – a roadside lodging where motorists park directly outside the rooms to rest; podcast is a word coined from ‘iPod’ and ‘broadcast’, just as sunlight is forged from ‘sun’ and ‘light’. Even the word ‘portmanteau’ itself is a portmanteau word, combining ‘porter’ (to carry) and ‘manteau’ (a cloak).

Did you know there’s a compound side to food? Come take a bite. A balanced diet is a healthy meal that nourishes the body with essential nutrients in the right proportions. Adalu is a Yoruba delicacy consisting of corn, beans, and palm oil, popular in Benin and Togo. Abula is a classic Yoruba soup of ewedu and gbegiri that caresses amala on the descent journey to the belly. Oyinbo people, too, have their own compound/portmanteau meals. They have croffle – a combination of croissant dough and waffle; meatza – a pizza crust made from meat; turducken – a roast dish consisting of a boned chicken inside a boned duck, which is placed inside a partially boned turkey.

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Is my tale getting more delicious? Good! “Give me second base, jare,” Fela Anikulapo-Kuti would say when he diminuendoes his tune to change musical notes. I’m just about to change to the second base of this literary offering and enter into the underground spiritual game. Hahaha! Just sit back and enjoy, please.

Here we go. There’s a new compound meal in town. The new meal is a portmanteau of madness. It’s as disgusting as it’s disturbing. It’s crazy, irritating and sickening. It’s a food combination that the brainless are guzzling with gusto right now. It is Fufeyin, a meal of fufu and eyin. Eyin is a Yoruba word for egg – protein-rich, formerly a food on common plates, but now a permanent resident on the exclusive menu for executive plates. Fufu is the long-lasting starchy staple famous among the masses on 0-0-1 unsquared meal, enduring in the stomach from a.m. to p.m.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Pounding Yams On Stubborn Bald Heads

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Fufeyin is the new opium for the brainless. It’s an unhygienic food combination that leads to acidic farts and watery gastronomic leaks. Fufeyin is a metaphor for moral rot – a symbolic dish served hot by deceivers to the devoutly daft. It’s the burnt offering rejected by God, but guzzled by the gullible, eyes shut, wallets open. The ‘fufu’ in Fufeyin symbolises a poverty background, the ‘eyin’ in it symbolises craze for wealth. Fufeyin is evil. Fufeyin is a meal made for the ignorant and the stupid by an irritating chef who doesn’t know how to light a stove.

Can we spare 60 seconds to talk about brains, please? It could be less. Let’s place a grown man on a spot marked ‘A’ and place an ant on a spot marked ‘B’. In the heads of the man and the ant, the brains are of different sizes. Having studied ants for more than five decades, the moniker, “Ant Man,” perches fittingly on the laurels of James Traniello, a professor of biology at Boston University. A 2023 publication, “BU’s ‘Ant Man’ studies Ant Brains,” published in Boston University’s digital research journal, The Brink, says Traniello’s work ‘raises questions about how both insect and mammalian brain sizes evolved and about the relationship between the size of the brain and how much energy it requires’.

In a 2020 publication in The Brink, “From Ant Brains, Seeking New Lessons about Human Behaviour and Society,” Traniello says, “Human brains weigh only about 3 pounds, but use about 20 per cent of our energy. Brains are also metabolically selfish, potentially capable of demanding energy dedicated to other organs.”

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Science says an ant’s brain is remarkably large in proportion to its body size and sophisticated enough for navigation, swarm intelligence, efficiency, chemical communication, memory and colony coordination. The size of an ant’s brain is 0.01mm, which is 15 per cent of the body mass, with an estimated neuron count of 250,000.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Discussing Portable, Apostle Suleiman, Fufeyin And Chosen Liars (1)

The human brain is about 2 per cent of total body mass, with an 86 billion neuron count and measuring 1,200 – 1,400 cm in size. The human brain has faculties for reasoning, language, memory, creativity, emotion and consciousness.

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Traniello, whose research attracted a $1.5m grant, says, “Some types of ants even work together to cultivate and harvest mushrooms for food,” adding that, “Like humans, ants are known for their extraordinary collective intelligence. Cooperating groups are better at problem-solving than individuals in both human and ant societies.”

Although the human brain is far more complex than the ant’s brain, the actions of some people show that a human brain not put to proper use cannot compare with the brain of an ant. Indeed, the irritable way many Nigerians worship glaringly deceitful religious and political leaders, fawning over fake miracles and political promises, shows that an ant’s brain is far superior to some humans’ brains.

Probably the vacuity in humans was what King Solomon noticed when he offered that timeless piece of advice in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 6: verses 6-11: “6. Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! 7. It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8. yet it stores its provisions in summer, and gathers its food at harvest. 9. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—11
And poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.”

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MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Discussing Portable, Apostle Suleiman, Fufeyin And The Chosen (2)

The Jewish Virtual Library says Solomon became the King of Israel in approximately 967 B.C.E, that is 2,991 years ago, yet he talks about the ants ‘gathering its food at harvest’, and Professor Traniello, in a 2020 research corroborates King Solomon, saying, “Some types of ants even work together to cultivate and HARVEST mushrooms for food.”

Because I’m not as wise as King Solomon and because I live in the digital age, I’ll depart from the ant metaphor and go after the spider and its web. The spider web holds a fascination for me because of its intriguing comparability with digital technology. So, watch me as I step onto the spider’s intricate web, gingerly avoiding the pitfalls of sticky strands.

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Ssshhh! Silence! I’m on the cobweb now, trying to get my balance; it’s bouncy and shaky here, like walking on the slippery terrain of Nigeria. Ha! God, abeg o. Can you believe what I’m seeing? Ha!? So, spiders too write graffiti? Ise eniyan ni ise eranko o – humans behave like animals. Or perhaps worse. Wow, how lovely the spider writes! Can I read out some of the graffiti? OK. Here we go. “While ants build colonies and spiders design cobwebs, humans flock to charlatans selling spiritual fufu and eggs.” Wow! Word!

I can see more graffiti on the wobbly cobwebs. I’ll read them: “Fufeyin and co are a curse on humanity.” “Fufeyin will perish soon.” “There are a million Fufeyins littering different altars in Nigeria.”

Ise eniyan ni ise eranko o – humans and animals behave alike. That’s why life, like a cobweb, is a delicate weave – spun from dreams, sweat, fears, and faith. Like life, the cobweb glistens at its peak, masking its trap in its fragile form, lurking for the next victim. Wise up, brethren; Fufeyin is the trap, stop falling mugun.

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Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

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Xenophobic Attacks: Oshiomhole Tells FG To Retaliate Against South African Companies In Nigeria

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Senator Adams Oshiomhole has called on the Federal Government to retaliate against South African businesses operating in Nigeria following the recent attacks on Nigerians in South Africa.

Speaking during plenary on Tuesday, Oshiomhole said the Federal Government should consider revoking the working license of South African owned companies such as MTN and DSTV.

He argued that Nigeria must respond firmly to what he described as persistent hostility against its citizens.

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READ ALSO:South Africa To Investigate ‘Mystery’ Of Planeload Of Palestinians

“I am not going to shed tears. If you hit me, I hit you. I think it is appropriate in diplomacy. It is an economic struggle,” Oshiomhole said.

He argued that while some South Africans accuse Nigerians of taking their jobs, Nigerians should return home and take over employment opportunities created by major South African companies operating in the country, including MTN and DSTV.

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When we hit back, the President of South Africa will not only talk but will also go on his knees to recognise that Nigeria cannot be intimidated.

READ ALSO:South African Ambassador Found Dead Outside Paris Hotel

We will not condone any life being lost. If a crime has been committed under the South African law they have the right to bring any such person to justice, but to kill our people as if we are helpless, we will not allow that,” Oshiomhole added.

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DAILY POST reports that several Nigerians in South Africa have reportedly been attacked, and their businesses destroyed, in ongoing xenophobic attacks in the country.

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IGP Orders Officers Display Name Tag On Uniform, Gives Update On State Police

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The Inspector General of Police, IGP, Tunji Disu, has ordered all police personnel to always have their name tags on their uniforms for easy identification.

Disu disclosed that only police personnel who are undercover are exempted from displaying their name tags.

Speaking on Tuesday, Disu said: “All police officers should have their name tags. All of us on the high table have our names apart from the undercover among us so if you look at all the Commissioners of Police we have our name tags, so it’s not our standard.

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All the Commissioners of Police are here and that is why we called this meeting, we have list of things like this that we will want to discuss with the Commissioners of Police, we have told them earlier and we will still let them know that every that happens within their area of jurisdiction falls under their control.”

On the issue of state police, the IGP said: “Since we got the signal that the Federal Government of Nigeria intend to establish State Police and since we are the federal police, we decided to take the bull by the horn and put down our own side of what we believe on how the state police should be run.

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“A lot of things were taken into consideration, a lot of comparative analysis was done and it has been transmitted to the National Assembly.”

 

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Court Orders SERAP To Pay DSS Operatives N100m For Defamation

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The High Court of the Federal Capital Territory has ordered a non-governmental organization, the Socio-Economic Rights and Accountability Project, SERAP, to pay N100 million as damaged to two operatives of the Department of the State Services, DSS, for unjustly defaming them in some publications.

The court also ordered SERAP to tender public apologies to the defamed officers,
Sarah John and Gabriel Ogundele, in two national newspapers, two television stations and its website.

Besides, the organization was also ordered to pay the two operatives N1 million as cost of litigation and 10 percent post-judgment interest annually on the judgment sum until it’s fully liquidated.

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Justice Yusuf Halilu of the High Court of the Federal Capital Territory gave the order on Tuesday while delivering judgment in a N5.5 billion defamation suit instituted against SERAP by the DSS operatives.

The judge found SERAP liable for unjustly defaming the two DSS operatives with allegations that they unlawfully invaded its Abuja office, harassed and intimidated its staff, in September 2024.

READ ALSO:How We Arrested Terror Suspect Who Threatened To Kill Students, Teachers In Abuja — DSS

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In the offending publication on its website and Twitter handle, SERAP alleged that the two operatives unlawfully invaded and occupied its office with sinister motives.

The judge held that the publication was in bad taste especially from an organization established to promote transparency and accountability, as nothing in the publication was found to be truthful.

The DSS staff had listed SERAP as 1st defendant in the suit marked CV/4547/2024. SERAP’s Deputy Director, Kolawole Oluwadare, was listed as the 2nd defendant.

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In the suit, the claimants – Sarah John and Gabriel Ogundele – accused the two defendants of making false claims that they invaded SERAP’s Abuja office on September 9, 2024..

Counsel to the DSS, Oluwagbemileke Samuel Kehinde, had while adopting his final address in the mater urged the judge to grant all the reliefs sought by his client in the interest of justice.

READ ALSO:DSS Arrests Suspected Gunrunner, Recovers 832 Rounds Of Ammunition

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He admitted that although the names of the two claimants were not mentioned in the defamation materials, they had however established substantial circumstances that they are the ones referred to in the published defamation article by SERAP on its website.

The counsel submitted that all ingredients of defamation have been clearly established and the offending publication referred to the two officials of the secret police.

However, SERAP, through its counsel, Victoria Bassey from Tayo Oyetibo, SAN, law firm, asked the court to dismiss the suit on the ground that the two claimants did not establish that they were the ones referred to in the alleged defamation materials.

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She said that SERAP used “DSS officials” in the alleged offending publication, adding that the two claimants must establish that they are the ones referred to before their case can succeed.

Similar arguments were canvassed by Oluwatosin Adefioye who stood for the second defendant, adding that there was no dispute in the September 9, 2024 operation of DSS in SERAP’s office.

READ ALSO:Alleged Cyberstalking: DSS Plays Video Evidence In Sowore’s Trial

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He said that since SERAP in the publication did not name any particular person, the claimants must plead special circumstances that they were the ones referred to as the DSS officials.

Besides, he said that there is no organization by name Department of State Services in law, hence, DSS cannot claim being defamed adding that the only entity known to law is National Security Agency.

The claimants had in the suit stated that the alleged false claim by SERAP has negatively impacted on their reputation.

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The DSS also stated, in the statement of claim, that, in line with the agency’s practice of engaging with officials of non-governmental organisations operating in the FCT to establish a relationship with their new leadership, it directed the two officials – John and Ogunleye – to visit SERAP’s office and invite them for a familiarization meeting.

The claimants added that in carrying out the directive, John and Ogunleye paid a friendly visit to SERAP’s office at 18 Bamako Street, Wuse Zone 1, Abuja on September 9 and met with one Ruth, who upon being informed about the purpose of the visit, claimed that none of SERAP’s management staff was in the country and advised that a formal letter of invitation be written by the DSS.

READ ALSO:DSS, Police Partner NCCSALW To End Terrorism, Mop Up Illegal Arms

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John and Ogundele, who claimed that their interactions with Ruth were recorded, said before they immediately exited SERAP’s office, Ruth promised to inform her organisation’s management about the visit and volunteered a phone number – 08160537202.

They said it was surprising that, shortly after their visit, SERAP posted on its X (Twitter) handle – @SERAPNigeria – that officers of the DSS are presently unlawfully occupying its office.

The claimant added, “On the same day, the defendants also published a statement on SERAP’s website, which was widely reported by several media outfits, falsely alleging that some officers from the DSS, described as “a tall, large, dark-skinned woman” and “a slim, dark skinned man,” invaded their Abuja office and interrogated the staff of the first defendant (SERAP).

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John and Ogundele stated that “due to the false statements published by the defendants, the DSS has been ridiculed and criticised by international agencies such as the Amnesty International and prominent members of the Nigerian society, such as Femi Falana (SAN)”.

“Due to the false statements published by the defendants, members of the public and the international community formed the opinion that the Federal Government is using the DSS to harass the defendants.”

READ ALSO:SERAP To Court: Stop CBN From ‘Implementing ‘Unlawful, Unjust ATM Fee Hike’

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They added that the defendants’ statements caused harm to their reputation because the staff and management of the DSS have formed the opinion that the claimants did not follow orders and carried out an unsanctioned operation and are therefore, incompetent and unprofessional.

The claimants therefore prayed the court for the following reliefs: “An order directing the defendants to tender an apology to the claimants via the first defendant’s (SERAP’s) website, X (twitter) handle, two national daily newspapers (Punch and Vanguard) and two national news television stations (Arise Television and Channels Television) for falsely accusing the claimants of unlawfully invading the first defendant’s office and interrogating the first defendant’s staff.

“An order directing the defendants to pay the claimants the sum of N5 billion as damages for the libellous statements published about the claimants.

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“Interest on the sum of N5b at the rate of 10 percent per annum from the date of judgment until the judgment sum is realised or liquidated.

“An order directing the defendants to pay the claimants the sum of N50 million as costs of this action.”

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