News

OPINION: President Tinubu Is Not Deaf

Published

2 years ago

February 9, 2024

Tunde Odesola

Daybreak Nigeria! All the make-up is gone now. On the forehead are lines of wrinkles. Short tears dry up midway down the sides of the nose, forming the ruthless eyeshadows of the tiger. The smile has turned into a sneer, the cheers are swallowed up by jeers, and laughter has ceased, seized by weeping and gnashing of teeth across the land. The calamity is total.

Now, the rich are also crying. Those not crying are shivering. Because nowhere is safe; palaces or huts. No one is smiling; kings or paupers. The American dollar is gripped by the spirit of Joseph’s dream, it’s now swallowing the naira. One dollar, just one dollar, is now swallowing one thousand five hundred naira. Èemò wòlú!

The land is bitter. Hunger is raining. Poverting is pollinating. Death is reigning. Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the man, who assured the citizenry, saying, “E lo f’okan bale,” appears lost. The Asiwaju called BAT also said, “Let the poor breathe,” but the air has ceased. The poor can’t inhale, the rich can’t exhale. Yoruba kings have become chickens inside a pitch-black cage, and the Fulani cobra coils up in a corner, snacking them up one by one – after its regular feast on the people. The bat of the night has lost its voice.

But, the purpose of this article isn’t to paint our country in sad colours. It’s to make you laugh and forget the woes besetting our beloved country – even if only momentarily. The expression, “Òrò burúkú tòhun tèrín,” signposts the junction called Bittersweet. Inside his regalia, the egungun must endure his fart, he dares not tear off his mask. Èewò òrìsà! The Abami Eda – Fela Anikulapo – called it Shuffering and Shmiling.

Imagine you bought a plate of rice, beans, veggies and chicken. Iya Ramota, the food seller, tells you to go home and wait for your order. Back at home, you waited all day, and Iya Ramo didn’t show up. At midnight, she shows up with a big plate and a toothpick in her hands. She picks a grain of rice with the toothpick and puts it in your mouth. She also remembers to put in a grain of beans before she leaves with the food. You jump up, shouting Up Iya Ramo!

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Isn’t this what you do when you shout ‘Up NEPA!’ after being ripped off by the Power Holding Company of Nigeria – when you should be shouting, ‘wahala, wahala, wahala’ – in the voice of that irritant musician in Sango, Ogun State, whose wisecracks overflows from a portable suitcase? Isn’t that shuffering and shmiling?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word in the English dictionary. You can count how many letters it has, good luck. But don’t try to pronounce it, please. I don’t want to be held responsible for missing teeth, biko. Do not say I didn’t warn you o, ehn-ehn, because Nigeria is a now country where a packet of unadulterated antibiotic costs between N45,000 and N60,000 when the minimum wage of over 104 million citizens remains N30,000, according to the World Bank figures.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a fibrotic lung disease caused when you breathe in chemical dust such as silica, coal dust or asbestos. Yes, asbestos! Asbestos is a potential killer outlawed for building in developed countries.

Silicosis is another name for pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Yet another synonym for it is ‘black lung’. It’s also called pneumoconiosis. When I consider the various names of the disease, I see the developed world running with the simplified versions, researching, while Nigeria, the h(r)ope of the black man, smokes on a keg of gunpowder.

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Growing up, I listened to the sweet voice of King Sunny Ade, singing “Ile o labo sinmi oko…,” a song he did about his journey to London, extolling the importance of home over the farmstead. Kennery King, Orlando Owoh, also did a song, ‘Ero ki yeye mi,” in praise of home. Before KSA and Orlando’s songs, Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey had done a song about the importance of home.

Home is a place of refuge. It’s a stockade to leave and return to after toilings afield. Many years ago, Nigerians in the Diaspora considered Nigeria as home, and their foreign abodes as farmsteads because home is where you feel secure and loved, wanted. The reverse is the case now. Nigeria has turned into oko (farmstead) while foreign abodes have become homes.

About 700 years ago, Africa was invaded for slaves by the West. About 500 years later, slavery was abolished and a new form of slavery called colonisation started. Though Nigeria gained independence from British colonial rule in 1960, the domineering influence of the British and America over the country is still strong, owing to corruption and misgovernance by Nigerian rulers.

Nigeria’s former slave masters have long departed, and the land has been despoiled. Nigerians themselves are the ones now begging to go and be slaves in foreign lands. They risk lives and limbs, stowing away on planes and ships because the country is no longer at ease. What would Nigerian children taken or born abroad be? Where would they call home? Nigeria or foreign lands?

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Last week, I shook my head when I heard that a friend of mine, in a bid to erase his family’s link with a particular Yoruba river, had changed his name to reflect his Christian religion. But Jesus Christ never told any of his disciples to change their family names which reflected their pagan histories.

Two days ago, Madison Academy in Alabama, USA, announced the return of Mustang Mud Run 5K, calling on interested participants to reserve their spots. The announcement says, “Prepare to have fun and put your skills to the test in North Alabama’s Mud Run. The obstacle course, situated on the campus of Madison Academy, will challenge participants with 18-22 obstacles along and through Indian Creek and the adjacent wooded areas. The family-friendly, fun mud run is open to anyone over the age of 12. Runners are expected to slip, slide, climb, jump, slog, and swing their way to a fun finish.”

Were this event native to Nigeria, many zealots, who have made pastors and imams their gods, would say the sport belonged to the devil, forgetting that they themselves are from mud! They would cast and bind and speak in tongues.

The zealots, their pastors and imams won’t pray hail and brimstones on the political leadership that has refused to hand over criminal cop, Abba Kyari, to the US, for trial over alleged involvement in wire fraud. Kyari, while on suspension over involvement in wire fraud, was caught on video negotiating the release of 25kg of cocaine for $61,000. He remains a member of the Nigeria Police Force to date, earning a salary.

It’s funny how we run this type of unjust country and still expect birds to chirp like birds, and rats squeak like rats. Ka ma ri ni Poolu wi. Apostle Paul says such an expectation is a mirage.

So, I hissed when Fuji singer, Wasiu Ayinde, called on President Tinubu in a viral video, telling him that Nigerians are shuffering. If the President doesn’t know by now that Nigerians are living in the worst of times, and it takes a bard to call his attention to it, it’s time to wind down the country and give it back to Britain or America for colonisation. But I would prefer the Chinese. I love their language.

News

Police Urge Bauchi Residents To Remain Calm Amidst Soldier’s Death In Bauchi

Published

6 hours ago

August 29, 2025

Editor

The Police in Bauchi state has called on all the residents of the state to remain calm after a soldier was shot dead by a police officer in the state.

CSP Ahmed Wakil, the Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) made the call on behalf of the Commissioner of Police in the state, Sani Omolori-Aliyu.

According to him, Inter-agency security forces have initiated a thorough investigation into the circumstances surrounding the unfortunate incident which led to the death of the soldier.

The PPRO recalled how a blogger narrated the incident that a member of the Nigerian Army attached to 33 Artillery Brigade was fatally shot while attempting to intercept a truck suspected of transporting solid minerals from an illegal mining site in Futuk, Alkaleri Local Government Area of the state by a mobile police Inspector on illegal duty.

News

How Becoming Bank Manager At 27 Changed My Life, Tony Elumelu Urges Trust In Africa’s Youths

Published

7 hours ago

August 29, 2025

Editor

Prominent African businessman and philanthropist, Tony Elumelu, has reflected on the defining moment of his early career when he was appointed a bank branch manager at just 27 years old.

In a post shared on his LinkedIn page on Tuesday, Elumelu recounted how his appointment at AllStates Trust Bank changed the trajectory of his life and shaped his passion for empowering young people.

“When I was 27, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime: I became a branch manager at AllStates Trust Bank, a young bank in Nigeria.

“Banking was beginning to change the country, it was the sector to be in, ripe for transformation, ready for disruption, for democratisation.

“At that time, few believed a 27-year-old could successfully lead a bank branch. But that opportunity changed the entire course of my life.

“It gave me confidence. It gave me a platform. Most importantly, it gave me perspective,” he wrote.

Elumelu, who is the founder of the Tony Elumelu Foundation and chairs Heirs Holdings and United Bank for Africa, noted that his journey began not with financial capital but with trust.

His post continued, “That’s why today, I am passionate about giving young people the same chance I was given. Because I know what’s possible when someone believes in you early.

“This belief is at the heart of everything we do at The Tony Elumelu Foundation. It’s why we invest in young African entrepreneurs – because someone once invested in me.

“My journey didn’t begin with capital. It began with trust. Let’s keep believing in Africa’s youth. They are ready to lead, grow and transform our continent.”

In a follow-up post on X on Friday, the business leader further highlighted three lessons from his experience as a young bank manager.

“Shared recently on my LinkedIn page how I became a bank manager at just 27. I got a lot of questions. One stood out: How could someone so young handle such responsibility?

“Many doubted a young man could lead a bank branch. That chance changed the entire course of my life,” he wrote.

Outlining the lessons from his journey, Elumelu wrote, “Lesson 1: Age is not a barrier. If you can execute, are hungry to learn, and committed to results — you can lead at any age. Leadership is about clarity of vision and that discipline to execute.

“Lesson 2: The most powerful capital is trust. My journey didn’t start with money — it started with trust. Trust was the seed that propelled everything else. Give young people trust, and they will surprise you. I was trusted, I repaid that trust.”

In the third lesson, Elumelu explained why perspective matters in leadership.

He wrote, “Leadership is not about doing everything yourself. It is about empowering, setting direction, and providing clarity. The sooner you learn this, the faster you grow.

“That’s why today, I am passionate about giving young people the same chance I was given. Cascading luck. Catalysing opportunity.”

Elumelu said these principles continue to drive his commitment to youth empowerment through his foundation.

“It is the reason we invest in Africa’s youths at the #TonyElumeluFDN, because someone once invested in me,” he wrote.

“My story is proof that when we trust in our youths, they are ready to lead, grow, and transform our continent. Let’s keep believing in Africa’s youths,” he concluded.

News

Lawyer Sues Sanwo-Olu For Blocking Him On X

Published

7 hours ago

August 29, 2025

Editor

Human rights lawyer, Festus Ogun, has filed a lawsuit against Lagos State Governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, at the Federal High Court in Lagos for allegedly violating his fundamental rights by blocking him on his verified X (formerly Twitter) account.

In the suit marked FHC/L/CS/1739/25, which was shared by Ogun on Friday via his facebook page, he said the governor’s decision to block him since 2021 was triggered by his “constructive criticisms” and “demand for accountability” over the October 2020 #EndSARS killings.

“In 2021, I noticed that the Governor blocked me on his official X handle @jidesanwoolu owing to my constructive criticisms of his policies and demand for accountability in respect of the October 2020 #EndSARS Massacre,” Ogun wrote.

According to him, being blocked has deprived him of access to vital information.

“Blocking me on X has prevented me from accessing public updates and receiving information about policies and governance in Lagos, which constitutes a violation of my right to receive information without interference,” he said.

In his originating summons cited by The PUNCH, the lawyer asked the court to declare the action unconstitutional, arbitrary, and discriminatory.

According to the lawsuit, Ogun said he sought “a declaration that, as a democratically-elected public office holder in Nigeria, the Respondent (@jidesanwoolu)’s blocking of the Applicant (@mrfestusogun), a citizen of Nigeria and resident of Lagos State, on X (formerly ‘Twitter’) is wrongful, unconstitutional, arbitrary and constitutes a gross.”

He further prayed the court to compel Sanwo-Olu to unblock him, issue a public apology, and stop targeting critics online.

“An order of perpetual injunction restraining the Respondent, his agents, privies or any other person or entity acting through or on his behalf, from further blocking the Applicant on X or any other social media platform,” the suit read.

Ogun, who described himself as “haunted, traumatised and emotionally disturbed,” stressed that the matter went beyond his personal grievance. “This suit is not just about me. I have filed this lawsuit in furtherance of public interest and with the hope that it sets a precedent in our digital rights jurisprudence,” he said.

The lawyer also invited the court to take guidance from a 2019 ruling in the United States.

“I invited the Nigerian court to be persuaded by the decision of the US District Court in Knight First Amendment Institute v Trump where President Trump was found to be in violation of the 1st Amendment when he blocked US citizens for criticising him on Twitter,” he stated.

Ogun argued that intolerance to opposing views undermines democracy. “Intolerance to criticism and accountability is unconstitutional and undemocratic. Nigerian authorities continue to crack down on dissents, critics, journalists, bloggers and vocal citizens on social media using arrests, detention, surveillance, collusion with big techs and outright blocking, as weapons. That narrative must stop,” he warned.