Connect with us

News

[OPINION] Sick Nation Debate: APC Vs ADC

Published

on

By Lasisi Olagunju

MODERATOR: We take this space for ‘The Sick Nation Debate’, a town hall exchange between two political tendencies recommending themselves to our sick nation. Today’s edition is between the ruling APC and a budding coalition which, for now, uses the ADC label. We start in alphabetical order.

APC: Alphabetical order? No. A good debate should be between equals, or at least between near mates. Ambition Disguised as Change (ADC) is a perfect example of an oddity, a horror movie in rehearsal. ADC looks new, but acts odd and old, arrogant. It has no pedigree in morality. It is a sheep; it has no head to lock horns with my ram.

Advertisement

ADC: I think we should start this with some measure of decorum. But you can’t give what you don’t have. You have just announced yourself as a cocky cocktail of disaster. A drug called APC was banned in 1983 or thereabouts for being injurious to our health. I remember you as an alliance of purveyors of death: APC Elerin – three-in-one. Imagine a drug that advertised itself as a painkiller, it turned out that it was actually a kidney killer. Its full name was Aspirin-Phenacetin-Caffeine. Now, that is the name you are throwing about with pride as a slogan of expired hope. You should be known for what you are: Ailments, Pains and Catastrophe (APC).

APC: On 29 October, 2006, a passenger plane crashed near Abuja. One hundred and four people were on board the Boeing 737-200 which was travelling to Sokoto. There were seven survivors. Alhaji Muhammadu Maccido, the then Sultan of Sokoto, was among the dead. You know the name of the airline involved in the unfortunate crash? ADC. Again, a foremost professor of political science named Claude Ake, was killed in an air crash on November 7, 1996 in Lagos. You want to know the culprit airline? ADC. I can go on and on. So, each time you pronounce your name, those are the incidents Nigerians remember. May we not board a plane destined for a crash. May it not happen again.

ADC: You share no name with an airline but you have hijacked and crashed the country. In ten quick years, APC has worked Nigeria into the mortuary. My current mission is to take our country back from you, a band of buccaneers who have abducted the country and its destiny. I wonder why you are not ashamed that your record of destruction is phenomenal. Everywhere you touch, disaster drops.

Advertisement

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: For Tinubu And Sanwo-Olu [Monday Lines 1]

APC: Your coalition is DOA – dead on arrival. Yes, there are challenges today. But, you know Bertolt Brecht?

ADC: Yes. German playwright and poet; 1898-1956. What about him?

Advertisement

APC: Brecht once asked a question and answered it himself: “In the dark times / Will there also be singing? / Yes, there will be singing / About the dark times.”

ADC: We are already singing about your darkness. You are death hanging a stethoscope. With APC, every dose is a bout of deadly side effects. You came very popular in 2015 but everyone who embraced you with the innocence of patriotism has landed in a dialysis clinic. There was a celebration of democracy last week. You heard what your man, the president told Nigerians who told him that things are bad? “I am not here to make you happy” was the message of hope from your Renewed Hope exponent. Your party came popular ten years ago. And in those ten years you have shown the world what it means to be a popular poison. A textbook definition of dictator. There was Idi Amin, there was Bokassa, there were Hitler and Mussolini. They all waltzed in into the world’s infirmary popular like the drug of death, APC. What ended the romance? Regret. From the desert to the coast, APC has made the sick sicker.

APC: But we started this journey together, ask Atiku, ask El-Rufai and Amaechi.

Advertisement

ADC: Just don’t go there. Now we know that you are a capsule of band A bandits. We did what we had to do in 2015 because it was the best at that point. Imagine you joining hands to build a hospital only to finish and discover that what you have is a shrine for suffering; a nursery for pain. That is the reason we abandoned the curious combination called APC and opted to have this without the deadly ‘P’ element. The ‘D’ in our name represents deliverance. We will give health and deliver our people from your evil.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Ijebu And Their Six Tubers Of Yam [Monday Lines 2]

APC: The ‘D’ in ADC actually represents disaster. “Barbarous invaders” is what Zulu king, Shaka, called dissidents like you. And he said more: “A wild collection of desperadoes do not compose a nation/ However numerous their numbers.”

Advertisement

ADC: Since you know how to quote from Mazisi Kunene’s ‘Emperor Shaka the Great’, you should also add this line from that epic: “The greatness of a people lies in the richness of their lives.” With your wicked policies, you’ve ruined the world and damaged the heavens. We are coming to detoxify the polity.

APC: The best chef in world’s history is the mouth; its vegetable soup is the champion. You are simply jealous that I do to perfection everything you can’t collectively handle: headaches, body aches, heartbreaks. I tackle them. All. I deliver immediate results.

ADC: Our ancestors warn that “If you give bad food to your stomach, it will drum for you to dance.” You are that bad food in our stomach and we are flushing you out. You cure nothing. You deliver pain and death. Slowly and arrogantly, you wreck vital organs. Like Phenacetin, the ‘P’ in the banned drug, you flaunt economic and security Armageddon as trophy. Horror is who you are.

Advertisement

APC: What you are doing is what Sun Tzu, author of ‘The Art of War’, said 2,500 years ago: “the noise before defeat.” ADC is a plane with lots of announcements, no flight. Any person who entrusts their life journey to you will end up stranded, disappointed and depressed. What you have on the label is not what you really are. You are the killer pill that must not be in our regimen.

ADC: I am convinced now more than ever that you should be banned like your namesake, the bad drug. You are actively leading the nation into bankruptcy and you shamelessly do peacock preening. I heard the president talking about his record of achievements. Like the lizard that jumped down the Iroko tree, he is praising himself, marking his own script. Who does that? Did he see Nigerian beggars deported from Ghana? Nigerians go to Ghana to do street begging. Haba!

APC: Dear ADC, begging did not start with us or with this president. You’ve been around for a long time, taxiing the tarmac endlessly. You are like your other name, Aide-de-Camp, an orderly with royal ambitions. I advise that you stop wasting your time and money. If you become broke, we won’t open the vaults for you. The best you can ever get is to be a miserable attendant, a courtier, the ragged guy holding PDP’s umbrella. You know placebo?

Advertisement

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Nigerian Beggars In Ghana

ADC: Is it not better to be placebo than be poison? You are poison, we are panacea. You remain an expired brand, snobbish, haughty and petty; you kill. Daily, you work hard at transforming headache into paralysis. Agony Promoting Confederation (APC) is your full name; the other one I call Permanent Defection Platform (PDP). You claim to be cures but you are no drug, you are an epidemic. I am the light of the nation; I am coming as a breath of fresh air.

APC: You are a chattering bird, you can never build a nest. I am sure, ADC, that if you do not crash the state, you will excel in flight cancellations and flight delays. May Nigeria not suffer you.

Advertisement

ADC: PDP’s carelessness and bad behaviour dragged us into APC’s darkness. Now, APC is drugging us into coma. Yet, you say you are the best option. What you want is a trauma cycle but we won’t allow you. Whatever it will take, we don’t care, we are stopping you and your arrogance. You can say whatever you like. ‘The End’ is the end of cinema. That end for you is the next election. If the calabash won’t let us open it gently, we will smash it. We will match you grit for grit, intrigue for intrigue; madness for madness.

APC: May madness not be our portion. Our people are not suicidal. They know that you, in particular, you are too desperate to give health. You can say whatever you like. This country was critically ill before I was introduced into its treatment in 2015. Today, the patient is stabilised and singing our praise. The president was in Katsina some weeks ago. You know the verdict of the people? Mounted on billboards were great words of thanks. He was in Lagos for sallah. You saw how big men, including the elderly prostrated to have a handshake with the president. The people say we are doing what they expect us to do. When the righteous rule, the people rejoice. Nigerians have never been happier than they are. Even the Financial Times of London said so: “Nigeria is in better shape than at any time in the past decade.” When a patient says “No Complaint”, what else is there for the doctor to do other than to keep the drug that cured them? Go to the far north, the dominant slogan there this moment is “Ba Korafi”, it means “no complaint.”

MODERATOR: Thank you, our promise makers. And thank you esteemed listeners…

Advertisement

ADC: Mr. Moderator, you can’t stop this at this point. APC cannot roam freely the 419 way, relabelling expired hope as renewed hope and going away with it. It deserves a response…

MODERATOR: I am sorry, we have to go now. We’ve come to the end of the maiden edition of The Sick Nation Debate. We hope to keep the conversation alive and going. We will meet again. When? Well…

Advertisement
Advertisement
Comments

News

JUST IN: Okpehbolo Appoints New VC For AAU

Published

on

By

Edo State governor, Monday Okpehbolo, has approved the appointment of Professor (Mrs.) Eunice Eboserehimen Omonzejie as the new Vice-Chancellor of the state-owned Ambrose Alli University (AAU), Ekpoma.

A statement issued late night by Secretary to the State Government, Umar Musa Ikhilor, said her appointment takes immediate effect.

According to the statement, Prof. Omonzejie was appointed amongst the three names submitted by the Governing Council of the university to the state government.

Advertisement

READ ALSO: Okpebholo Approves Construction Of 500-room Hostel For AAU

The statement partly reads, “Professor (Mrs.) Eunice Eboserehimen Omonzejie
Professor Omonzejie is a distinguished scholar of French and Francophone African Literatures and a long-serving academic in the Department of Modern Languages at Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma.

“She is a prolific researcher and editor, with contributions to African and Francophone literary studies, gender studies, and cultural studies.

Advertisement

“She has served as the President of the Ambrose Alli University Chapter of the National Association of Women Academics (NAWACS), where she has championed mentoring, research, and advocacy for female academics and students.

“Professor Omonzejie has co-edited several seminal works including French Language in Nigeria: Essays in Honour of UFTAN Pacesetters and Language Matters in Contemporary West Africa, and is the author of Women Novelists in Francophone Black Africa: Views, Reviews and Interviews,” the statement added.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

News

OPINION: Every democracy ‘Murders Itself’

Published

on

By

By Lasisi Olagunju

In ‘Jokes and Targets’ by Christie Davies, a Soviet journalist interviews a Chukchi man:

“Could you tell us briefly how you lived before the October revolution?”

Advertisement

“Hungry and cold.”

“How do you live now?”

“Hungry, cold, and with a feeling of deep gratitude.”

Advertisement

This sounds like Nigeria’s malaria victims thanking mosquitoes for their love and care. Between democracy and its opposite, reality has blurred the lines.

Last week, a group of White House pool reporters travelled with President Donald Trump on Air Force One as he returned from his U.K. state visit. At the beginning of the journey, actor Trump sauntered into the rear section of the plane, the traditional part for the press. He granted an interview and ended it with a morbid wish: “Fly safely. You know why I say that? Because I’m on the flight. I want to get home. Otherwise I wouldn’t care.”

Ten years ago, if a US president said what Trump told those poor reporters, his presidency would suffer immediate cardiac arrest. But this is Colin Crouch’s post-democracy era: the leader, whether in the US or in Nigeria, in Africa or elsewhere, is the law; whatever he does or says, we bow in gratitude.

Advertisement

I live in a Nigeria of gratitude and surrender. In the North-West and the North-East, traumatised communities are grateful to bandits and their enablers. They invite them to the negotiation table and thank the murderous gunmen for honouring the invitation. A grateful nation anoints and weeps at the feet of terrorists. In emergency-weaned Rivers State, its remorseful governor is effusive in appreciation of a second chance. The reinstated is ever thankful for the favours of a six-month suspension. From the North to the South, on bad roads and in death-wracked hospital wards, sonorous hymns of appreciation for big mercies ooze. The legislature and the judiciary, even the fourth estate, are all in congregation, singing songs of praise of the benevolent executive. Is this still a democracy?

American political scientists, Suzanne Mettler and Robert C. Lieberman in 2020 wrote ‘The Fragile Republic’ for The Foreign Affairs. In that essay, they list four symptoms of democratic backsliding. Prime among the four are economic inequality and excessive executive power. “Excessive executive power” is a three-word synonym for autocratization of democracy. It is a by-word for a democracy hanging itself.

The second president of the United States of America, John Adams, saw today; he warned of democracy decaying and dying: “Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” Adams was not alone. There was also William Blake, 18th/19th century English poet, who said “if men were wise, the most arbitrary princes could not hurt them. If they are not wise, the freest government is compelled to be a tyranny.” This reads like it was written today and here. If you disagree, I ask: Is it wise (and normal) for the tormented to thank the tormentor?

Advertisement

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: A Minister’s Message To Me

Listening to what Trump wished the reporters, we could see that big brother America now leads in democratic ‘erantship’, the Third World merely follows. An enormous country, strong enough to appropriate the name of an entire continent, America, in 2025, is blessed with a strongman that is armed with a licence to rule as it pleases his whim; a president who does what he likes and says what he likes or ‘jokes’ about it without consequences. The result is an imperial presidency that has redefined democracy across the world.

We say here that the yam of the one who is vigilant never gets burnt. The American system used to be very resilient in providing a leash on presidential excesses. It still does, although under a very difficult situation. Donald Trump, in his first term between 2017 and 2021, signed 220 Executive Orders. In his ongoing second term that began in January 2025, he has, as of September 18, 2025, already signed 204 Executive Orders upturning this balance, rupturing that tendon. An American friend told me that he could no longer recognise his country. But the good news is that those who should talk and act are not surrendering their country to Trump and his faction of the populace. Because it is America (and not Nigeria), there are over 300 lawsuits challenging Trump’s executive orders or policies in his second term.

Advertisement

The active legal challenges view the Trump orders either as unconstitutional, exceeding statutory power, or violating rights. And the courts are also doing their job as they should. A 2025 study found some 150 judicial decisions concerning these orders. Some are preliminary injunctions, others are full rulings. President Bola Tinubu last week acknowledged the existence of “over 40 cases in the courts in Abuja, Port Harcourt, and Yenagoa, to invalidate” his Rivers State emergency order. Our courts, especially the Supreme Court, are yet to acknowledge any of the cases with trials, rulings and orders.

It is easy for presidents with unrestrained executive powers to assume imperial airs. In the past, when they did, they feared losing their link with the people and a fall from power. Today, they are on very solid ground, no matter what they do with their people. Midway into his term as US president, an increasingly unpopular Jimmy Carter reassessed himself, and in lamentation told Washington Post’s David Broder that he (Carter) had “fallen into the trap of being ‘head of the government’ rather than ‘leader of the people.’” Today is not that yesterday of sin and punishment. We have surrendered to the point of giving ourselves away. Today’s leaders know that what they need is the government, its power and privileges, certainly not the people. And they keep working hard at it such that America has Trump, and is not the only country that has a Trump. There are Trumps everywhere. We have them in Africa, from the north to the coast.

What democracy suffers in America it suffers more in Africa. Former President Goodluck Jonathan said at the weekend that “democracy in the African continent is going through a period of strain and risk of collapse unless stakeholders come together to rethink and reform it.” He said politicians manipulate the electoral system to perpetuate themselves in office even when the people don’t want them. “Our people want to enjoy their freedom. They want their votes to count during elections. They want equitable representation and inclusivity. They want good education. Our people want security. They want access to good healthcare. They want jobs. They want dignity. When leaders fail to meet these basic needs, the people become disillusioned.” That is from Jonathan who was our president for six years. Did he say these new things because he wants to come back?

Advertisement

Democracy is like water; a wrong dose turns it to poison. If disillusionment has a home, it is in Africa. It is the reason why the youths of the continent are bailing out for succour, and the reason for Trump’s $100,000 fee on work visas.

In The North American Review of November 1910, Samuel J. Kornhauser reproduced a quotation that contains warnings of what threat a people could constitute to their own freedom: “The same tendencies to wanton abuse of power which exist in a despot or a ruling oligarchy may be expected in a democracy from the ruling majority, because they are tendencies incidental to human nature.” The solution was “a free people setting limitations upon the exercise of their own will” so that they would not “turn democracy into a curse instead of a blessing.”

MORE FROM THE THE AUTHOR:OPINION: HID Awolowo And The Yoruba Woman

Advertisement

In his 1904 essay, ‘The Relation of the Executive to the Legislative Power’, James T. Young, observed a dramatic shift in American governance: while Woodrow Wilson had earlier warned of “Congressional supremacy,” Young argued that “we now live under a system of executive supremacy,” showing how the traditional checks and balances had failed to maintain equilibrium among the branches. That was in 1904, a hundred and twenty one years ago.

Someone said a leader’s ability to lead a society successfully is dependent on their capacity to govern themselves. It is that self-governing capacity that is lacking in our power circles. Plus the leaders don’t think they owe history anything. “From the errors of others, a wise man corrects himself…The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid.” Publilius Syrus (85–43 BC), the Roman writer credited with uttering those nuggets, was a master of proverbs and apophthegm. We don’t listen to such words; we don’t mind being tripped by the same stone, and it does not matter falling into the same pit.

A democracy can enthrone emperors and kings but it is not that easy to ask them to dismount the high horse of the state without huge costs. We elect leaders and for unsalutory reasons, we let them roam freely with our lives, our safety and our comfort. We promote and defend them with our freedom. I hope we know the full import (and consequences) of the seed we are planting today. A Pharaoh will come who won’t remember that there was ever a Joseph.

Advertisement

A Roman emperor called Caligula reigned from 16 March, 37 AD until he was put to sleep on 24 January, 41 AD. ‘Caligula’ was not the name his parents gave him; it was an alias, “a joke of the troops” which trumped his real identity: He was named after popular Julius Caesar.

Roman historian, Claudius Suetonius, records in his ‘The Lives of the Caesars’ that Caligula became emperor after his father’s death and then “full and absolute power was at once put into his hands by the unanimous consent of the senate and of the mob, which forced its way into the House.” The new leader came popular with a lot of the people’s hope invested in him. Suetonius says the young man “assumed various surnames (for he was called ‘Pious,’ ‘Child of the Camp,’ ‘Father of the Armies,’ and ‘Greatest and Best of Caesars’). Soon the fawning appellations entered his head and he became the opposite of what his people wanted in their leader. One day, Emperor Caligula chanced “to overhear some kings who had come to Rome to pay their respects to him” doing what Yoruba kings love doing: He found them arguing at dinner about whose throne, among them, was the greatest and the highest in nobility. The emperor heard them and cried: “Let there be one Lord, one King.” He called them to order and from that point, it was clear to everyone that republican Rome now had one Lord, one king, and that was Caligula.

The man said and did things that frightened even the heartless. At a point during his reign, Caligula saw a mass of Roman people, the rabble, applauding some nobles whom he detested. He voiced his hatred for what the people did and said what he thought should be their punishment: “I wish the Roman people had but a single neck so I could cut it through at one blow.” That statement became a quote which has, through centuries, defined his place in history.
It would appear that 79-year old Donald Trump defined himself for history last week with his “fly safely…because I’m on the flight” statement. A leader, a father and grandfather said he did not care if a plane-load of young men and women perished (without him) in a crash. And he told them so.

Advertisement

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: On El-Rufai, Aláròká And Terrorists

A Twi proverb suggests that “the chief feels the heat only when his own roof is on fire.” Trump’s unfortunate remark is said to be a joke. Even as a joke, what the US president said sits in a long tradition of expensive jokes. Trump’s cruel ‘jest’ couldn’t be funny to any people even if they were under the spell of the leader. History and literature are full of such costly quips that come light from the tongue but which reveal something raw about power and rulers: power does not agree that all human beings possess equal worth, equal dignity, and equal rights. Power talks, and whenever it talks, it sets itself apart.
King Louis XV of France is remembered for uttering the line: “Après moi, le déluge (After me, the flood).” Some commentators say it was a joke, some others say it was a shrug. History interpreted what Louis XV said as the king not caring a hoot whatever might happen to France after he was gone. That statement is a sound bite that has clung to him forever as Abraham Lincoln’s mother’s prayer clung to her son.

When Louis XV said it, no one saw what the king said as a prophecy, grim and ghastly. I am not sure he also knew the full import of what he said. But it was prescient; fifteen years after his reign, the “flood” came furious with the 1789 revolution culminating in the effective abolition of the French monarchy by the proclamation of the First Republic on September 21, 1792.

Advertisement

Emperor Nero of Rome is remembered forever for playing the fiddle while Rome was burning. In William Shakespeare’s Henry VI, we read a verse that ends with “Nero, Play(ing) on the lute, beholding the towns burn.” What is remembered of Nero is the image of a leader who ‘enjoyed the life of his head’ while his empire got destroyed by fire set at it by the enemy. But did the emperor really do that? Read this from the Encyclopaedia Britannica: “So, did Nero fiddle while Rome burned? No. Sort of. Maybe. More likely, he strummed a proto-guitar while dreaming of the new city that he hoped would arise in the fire’s ashes. That isn’t quite the same thing as doing nothing, but it isn’t the sort of decisive leadership one might hope for either.”

I have roamed from imperial Rome to medieval France, to democratic America and its Nigerian side-kick. What is next here is to go back, and salute John Adams with this his dispraise of democracy: “It is in vain to say that democracy is less vain, less proud, less selfish, less ambitious, or less avaricious than aristocracy or monarchy.” A system or a country becomes a joke when its leaders toy with its destiny; when they make light of the fears of their people.

The Akan of Ghana warn that if you sit on comfortable rotten wood to eat pawpaw, your bottom gets wet and your mouth also gets wet. This is to say that there are consequences for choices made. A kabiyesi democracy is an autocratic monarchy. And what does that feel like? I read of a king who joked to his courtiers during famine: “Hunger has no teeth sharp enough to bite me in my palace.” It was a careless statement of a monarchy that has found its way into the mouth of our democracy. I saw it where I read it that the ‘joke’ “was remembered bitterly by the starving commoners who later sang satirical songs about the unfeeling king.” Some jokes outlive their laughter.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

News

NiMet Predicts Three-day Rain, Thunderstorms From Monday

Published

on

By

Continue Reading

Trending

Exit mobile version