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OPINION: The Day Alcohol Showed Me Shégè (2)

Published

1 year ago

January 17, 2025

Tunde Odesola

Without cross-ventilation, the staffroom was a dimly illuminated coven where students were flogged together with their shadows. Painted blue upon crimson baseboard, the staffroom always wears a mean look, like a barracks on coup day.

“Where did you fetch the òdaràn from?” Mr Olukitibi asked the senior students. “School farm, sir,” they chorused. “But I told you to bundle him here like a thief, you fools,” Olukitibi barked, moving pseudo-threateningly towards the seniors who bolted away to their classes giggling.

Turning to me, “Oga, what were you doing on the school farm?” “Reading, sir,” I muttered. “Reading with lizards and birds?” he asked. “No, sir. I was doing personal reading; the library is often noisy, sir.” “Personal reading?” he asked, taking a long cane from the bunch on the floor, trimming off its tiny branches, and exchanging pleasantries with another teacher. Mr Olukitibi was a deft leftie.

I saw my fellow criminals huddled up on their knees in a corner. Without being told, I joined them. The most feared female teachers in the history of Archbishop Aggey Memorial Secondary School were Mrs Ojo and Mrs Esan, both of whom were popularly called Iya Ojo and Iya Esan. But behind their backs, students familiar with moonlight tales of witches and wizards called them ‘àwon ìyá Òsòròngà’. If you think the joint hunt of a lion and a tiger was brutal, the Iya Ojo and Iya Esan combo was more brutal. Iya Ojo and Iya Esan? Dare and die!

Unfortunately, it was Iya Ojo and Iya Esan who sat in judgment over us. They urged Mr Olukitibi to hold his fire, explaining that to serve as a deterrent, it was better to give our flogging the trappings befitting an egúngún festival. “A má gbé eégún léni; we will have an egúngún festival today,” they said.

But before the egúngún festival commenced, Iya Esan sent a student to go and buy a packet of candles. When the candles were brought, she lit one at a time and ordered us to stretch forward the back of our hands, one after the other, tilting the burning candle sideways and making sure the melting hot wax dropped on our fingernails.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Day Alcohol Showed Me Shégè (1)

I can’t remember how many candles she melted on our fingernails and backhand. But I know we cried as if our anuses were greased with pepper; little did we know our torture had not begun.

Then, Iya Ojo and Iya Esan sent for the most feared male teachers in the school, one after the other. They got Mr Ade Elvis aka Super, Mr Adetunji aka TD Master, Mr Lawal, Mr Akintola, and Mr Olukitibi – for the impending egúngún festival.

Mr Olukitibi was the first egúngún to dance at the market square. I can’t remember how many strokes he gave us each, but he beat us like a bata drummer hammering away at his bata in the shrine of Sàngó. When we thought it was over, Mr Adetunji stepped in and gave us just six strokes each because he was student-friendly. Then came Mr Lawal who beat us with the venom of a snake killer.

Upon sighting Mr Akintola entering the flogging arena, Akeem staggered and fainted as Nigerian politicians faint in court. A little panic rent the air but Mr Akintola motioned that Akeem should be left alone on the floor as he reached for a cane from the bundle and resurrected Akeem, who got up wriggling and shouting, “Mi o daku mo, mo ti ji!” “I’m not fainting again, I have woken up!”

Sharply, Mr Akintola turned to the rest of us – Kunle Adeyoju, Jide Oladimeji, Taliatu Mudashiru, Sunday Oshokhai, Aliu Imoru, Akin and me, asking, “Is there anyone of you who wants to faint?” “No, sir!!” Mr Akintola was handsome with his tribal marks. But his strokes were ugly. I should’ve worn a foam and some T-shirts under my uniform as usual.

That day of karma was the day I knew why Mr Ade Elvis got the name Super. Super was like a father figure; slightly big and no-nonsense. In looks and voice, if Nyesom Wike was Yoruba, Super could’ve passed for his father. Super had a little stammer which aggravated whenever he was aggravated. He enjoyed it when students hailed him as Super!

Super’s cane came with questions and answers. Before he started beating each of us, he asked in Yoruba, “Which brand did you drink? How many bottles did you drink?” He had beaten two or three of us when it got to Akinade’s turn and all hell broke loose!

When Akinade stepped forward, Super, speaking in Yoruba, roared in Wike’s voice, “What beer did you drink!?” “Gulder, sir,” Akinade shivered. G-g-ulder!?!” Super stammered. Vicious strokes rained as he continued his interrogation: “You drink G-gulder, I drink Gulder!? You drink my beer, Gulder!? I d-drink Gulder, you drink G-gulder!?”

Super flew into a rage and he took his cane and Akinade along with him, battering Akinade as he asked him how many bottles he drank, with which mouth did he drink the beer, how did it taste, was it cold or hot? He beat Akin so much that we, his co-criminals, pitied him and thanked our stars we didn’t drink Gulder.

After the festival of flogging, we were marched back into the staffroom, where Iya Ojo and Iya Esan were waiting for us. They ordered us to get under teachers’ tables and stoop down – one person per table. This particular staffroom was peopled by female teachers, most of whom were principalities and powers.

Each of us got under a table to serve our continued sentence while the female teachers got on with their work and idle talk. Death is incomparable to sleep; we were glad that stooping down presented relief, away from the egúngún teachers. We were relieved the bombardment was finally coming to an end, we thought we had triumphed over the proverbial Longe, the dangerous man with a treacherous farm. But we were wrong. Longe’s danger was inescapable.

No sooner had we settled under the tables than we entered into another pot of soup. “Get under the tables and close your eyes,” Iya Ojo ordered us, adding, “You all will serve punishment till the close of school.” If we obeyed Iya Ojo and closed our eyes, we wouldn’t enter into fresh trouble. I must confess, we opened our eyes and saw hell.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Cockroach Called Dele Farotimi (1)

Each of us stooped down under the tables with our backs to our teachers, meaning that we, the little rascals, could see one another. Madness hadn’t taken over the fashion world when we were in school. Our teachers wore knee-length clothes and never fed their bodies to the ogling eyes of the world.

But their long skirts and dresses were not long enough to shut out our eyes from seeing panties of different materials – satin, silk and lace – worn by our teachers. “Ha!” “Iku de! Death is here!

So, each student briefly sighted the briefs of the teachers adjacent and opposite to him though not all the teachers sat in exposure. And, we got carried away! We turned what should have been a taboo sighting to ringside viewing until Mr Adetunji, who was passing by on the corridor, saw us!

He stormed into the staffroom and ordered us out. “Ah, Mr Adetunji, o ti to, it’s enough, they have got enough beaten today,” Iya Ojo and Iya Esan, along with other female teachers pleaded. But Mr Adetunji wouldn’t listen. He began with a cane and ended up using his fists like Mike Tyson. He beat us like aso òfì, Yoruba’s iconic cloth.

Unlike when we were flogged for drinking and we wailed like one-testicle fellows, as vicious as Mr Adetunji’s come-back beating was, we didn’t wail because we were afraid that if we wailed, Mr Adetunji might be pushed to spill the beans.

The female teachers begged and begged, but TD Master didn’t budge. He beat us until his watch snapped. We couldn’t cry; we could only be grateful. If he had told the teachers what we did, we would’ve been cast into a lake of fire.

We were very lucky that day because in the morning before darkness fell on us, the Vice-Principal, Mr Adeleye, had come to the staffroom to tell Iya Ojo and Iya Esan not to disclose to the principal, Pa John Olatunji Olowe, the real reason we were being punished. He said the principal would expel us for drinking and no school in Lagos was going to take us.

Sparing the rod or spanking the child: If spanking the child was as effective as its advocacy, I don’t think we would commit a much more grievous offence when we were in the jaws of death. Our rascality highlights the daredevilry that pushes people to push drugs in Saudi Arabia, China, Iran, Singapore and Kuwait, not minding their heads being cut.

Like the three-year-old boy recently assaulted at Christ-Mitots School, Ikorodu, many students have had their psyches damaged by high-handed beating and corporal punishment. While I’m not 100% anti-spanking, I seek a synergy between moral suasion and spanking.

Concluded.

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

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Shatta Wale Bailed Burna Boy From Ghana Prison After Arrest For Smoking Weed – Captan

Published

41 minutes ago

May 28, 2026

Editor

Ghanian singer, Captan, has claimed that his former record label boss, Shatta Wale, once bailed Nigerian singer Burna Boy out of prison in Ghana after he was allegedly arrested for smoking weed.

Speaking in a recent podcast interview, Captan claimed that Shatta Wale sent him and others to free Burna Boy from police custody.

He also claimed that Shatta Wale and his group once accommodated Burna Boy when he was being hunted by some dangerous men.

Captan said, “I once bailed Burna Boy out of prison in Ghana when he was arrested for smoking weed. Shatta Wale sent me and some guys to go and free him from police custody.

“There was a time we also accommodated him when some people were after his life. We helped him settle the case.”

He added that he and Burna Boy are no longer in good terms after the Nigerian artist’s fallout with his mentor, Shatta Wale.

He, however, said he and Shatta Wale are open to reconciling with Burna Boy if he asks for it.

Watch the video here

News

Children’s Day: Chaos At Ogbe Stadium As Dozens Faint

Published

16 hours ago

May 27, 2026

Editor

Chaos erupted on Wednesday during the Children’s Day celebration as dozens of students reportedly collapsed following a stampede triggered by the use of pepper spray.

The event,
organised by the Edo State Ministry of Education at the Samuel Ogbemudia Stadium was disrupted after some male students of Ihogbe College allegedly made uncompromising advances towards female students at the venue.
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‎ A parent who identified himself as Oboh Emmanuel said, “the behaviour of those uncultured students attracted the attention of bouncers stationed at the stadium as they rebuked the male students.”
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‎Oboh said the affected students later regrouped and attacked the bouncers, leading to a confrontation within the crowded arena.

READ ALSO:Children’s Day: Edo Commits To Child Protection
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It was gathered that in the ensuing confusion, the bouncers were reported to have deployed pepper spray in an area occupied by a large number of students.
‎
‎Several students, particularly female students, reportedly fainted after inhaling the substance, while others sustained injuries after being stepped on during the ensuing melee.
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‎The panic was said to have spread across the stadium as students, teachers and parents scampered for safety.
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‎Many of the affected students were reportedly rushed to the Edo Specialist Hospital for medical attention.

Reacting to the incident, Chief Press Secretary to Governor Monday Okpebholo, Dr Patrick Ebojele, said the security personnel that fired the tear gas had been detained.

He said all the students, except two, that were rushed to the hospital have been discharged.

Ebojele stated that doctors wanted to observe the students till tomorrow before allowing them to go home.

“The two students are not seriously injured. Doctors want to observe them overnight. Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Education is still at the hospital. The man who used pepper spray has been detained.

“The incident did not happen the way it is being exaggerated. All modalities were put in place to ensure the children enjoyed their day.”
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Okpebholo Salutes Edo Muslims, Seeks Continued Support, Prayers

Published

17 hours ago

May 27, 2026

Editor

Governor Monday Okpebholo of Edo State has urged Muslims and all Nigerians to continue to pray for peace, unity and progress in the country even as they celebrate the annual Eid-al-Adha

The governor, who was represented by his deputy, Dennis Idahosa, stated this during the annual Eid-al-Adha celebration with Muslim faithfuls held at Government House in Benin City.

He reiterated his administration’s commitment to fairness, inclusivity and equal opportunities for all citizens irrespective of religion and tribe.

According to him, the present administration remains determined to building a government that reflects the diversity of Edo State, noting that competent and qualified Muslims have continued to play vital roles in his government because of their capacity, integrity and commitment to service.

“As a government, we remain committed to fairness, inclusivity and equal opportunity for every Edo citizen, irrespective of religion, ethnicity or political affiliation. This is why quality and competent Muslims are serving in key positions in our administration.”

Okpebholo appreciated the Muslim community in Edo State for their unwavering support and continuous prayers for his administration, noting that such prayers and support have contributed immensely to the peace and steady development being witnessed across the state.

He then called on all Nigerians to use the occasion of Eid-al-Adha to pray for the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, stressing that the country needs collective prayers, unity and cooperation to overcome its present economic and security challenges.

“I urge all Muslims and indeed all Nigerians to use this occasion to pray for our dear nation and for the administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu. Nigeria needs our collective prayers, unity and support as we strive to overcome our challenges and build a more prosperous future for all.”

In his remarks, the Chief Imam of Edo State, Abdulfatai Enabulele, applauded the governor for what he described as remarkable developmental strides recorded in less than two years in office.

The cleric commended the administration for ongoing infrastructural development and efforts geared towards improving governance in the state, but appealed to the government to revisit and complete some abandoned projects inherited from the previous administration for the benefit of the people.