News

OPINION: The Owner Of Èkó And His Dogs

Published

2 months ago

July 4, 2025

Tunde Odesola

Mr Sanwo-Ola is the Administrator and Chief Tax Collector of Èkó, the Atlantic City. As an ajélè, Sanwo-Ola oversees the Èkó territory on behalf of the true owner, the Elékò, Oba Akanbi Olódó Ààre. In a controversial poll, Ààre had snatched the kingship of Naija from three other bloodsuckers, namely Article, Kwankwa and Obih, subsequently relocating from Èkó to rule in the portal of power, Abuja, two years ago.

From being the godfather of some fiefdoms in Southern Naija, Ààre is now king over more than 35 federating fiefdoms of Naija, fulfilling a lifetime dream. Ààre is the Oracle of ‘Turn-By-Turn Nigeria PLC’ and the Godhead of ‘Baba-Sope Politics’.

On this lonely midnight, Sanwo-Ola cuts the figure of a troubled mind as he sat on the edge of the giant bed, his face in his palms, an empty brandy bottle on the bedside stool, eyes bloodshot. Beads of sweat break on his brows, despite the giant air conditioners in the room working full throttle.

Sanwo-Ola had just executed a coup, but the coup failed, and he knows the consequences of a failed coup. He knows Ààre is the god of vendetta. He also knows that the dog of the king is the king of dogs.

The dog called Mudder. Though Mudder is one of the dogs of the king, Mudder is an irritating dog; untrainable and implacable – always barking without reason – spoilt, stupid, selfish and swindling. Mudder is also the Head, Èkó Assembly of Legislathieves.

Because he has the king’s backing, Mudder, one day, barked at Sanwo-Ola during a public presentation, tearing the Èkó Administrator’s garment – having been seized by the dìgbòlugi virus called rabies. In that show of shame, Mudder disrespected the land’s elders and equated himself with all former ajélè of Èkó, and even the Ààre himself.

Mudder ti f’enu ko! Everyone thought Mudder had talked himself into trouble by equating himself with Ààre, and would be muzzled for good. Initially, Ààre was annoyed with Mudder, refusing to see him when he went to Abuja to pay obeisance, even Ààre publicly reprimanding him during a festive period in Èkó. The news of Mudder falling out of favour set the Atlantic City’s grapevine afire; his days are numbered, many reasoned.

One day, Mudder foraged outside his kennel, far beyond the territorial borders of his owner, Ààre. A thought crept into Sanwo-Ola’s mind, “This is the best time to strike the senseless chihuahua.” So, Sanwo-Ola sought the backing of Èkó elders, a conclave of spent oldies, whose major duty is to run errands for Ààre and eat at his feet.

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Subsequently, Sanwo-Ola got the support of Mudder’s colleagues, whom he (Mudder) had treated shabbily for so long. Altogether – Sanwo-Ola, elders, chamber members, etc – carried the effigy of Mudder to Eti-Osa, the bank of the lagoon, and tossed it into the sea! That was symbolic. That was spiritual.

Mission accomplished, hugging and back-slapping, everyone departed from the seaside. Ààre will not rescue the mad dog; he’s now a goner, a loner, he’s going to sit among the pack and hunt with the hound now, he won’t be the top dog anymore. That was what everyone thought. But they were all wrong! Ààre is the double-edged sword with which Esu begs people for palm oil.

“Go and give Mudder, my dog, back his bone!” Ààre barked. “Ha, what will the masses say?” the elders counselled, “Èkó people are sophisticated, Ààre.” “I don’t care!” Ààre thundered, adding, “Sanwo-Ola should go and resign if Mudder cannot be reinstated.” Confusion! Panic! The elders pleaded, “The bone is now in the possession of a homie, the people’s choice.” Puffing, pouting and panting, “I am the people! I am Èkó! I forge the destinies of the people in my bullion vans,” Ààre shouted, cursing and hissing. “Go and reinstate Mudder!”

Within the next 24 hours, Ààre fought with the ruthlessness of COVID, the àjàkalè àrùn that arrested the whole world in 2020, as he withdrew security details in Iru and Ikate-Elegushi kingdoms from two handpicked royal fathers related to the new head of the chamber.

Ààre Esu Laalu! Ààre is the beheader who never allows a sword near his head. By torpedoing Mudder without involving Ààre, Sanwo-Ola flouted the very first law of power, “Do not outshine the master,” as propounded by Robert Greene in his warfare book, “The 48 Laws of Power”. Ààre felt that if Sanwo-Ola got away with this coup, he would have mastered the art of subterfuge, thereby becoming dangerous and powerful. Ààre did not want an ajélè as powerful and as beloved as the left-handed B-Fash. “So, this Sanwo-Ola boy wants to beat me in my own game?” Ààre thought aloud, blowing smoke through his nostrils. “I will teach him a lesson!”

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It’s Ààre’s enduring tactics that the Administrator of Èkó and the Head of Èkó chambers, in any tenure, must never be friends; they must be cat and mouse. When there’s no love lost between the ajélè and the Chamber Head, the ajélè will be afraid that Ààre can tell the chamber head to topple him anytime. Ààre knows this type of arrangement will make the Chamber Head see himself as a potential ajélè if he remains a loyal dog. That was the relationship tactically sustained between all Eko ajélè and chamber heads handpicked by Ààre. The Sanwo-Ola—Mudder war gives Ààre joy.

The outrageous reinstatement of Mudder exposed Ààre as a devil in paradise. A viper in an agbada. The whole world knows there is only one man who can reinstate Mudder. He is Ààre – the Emperor, the Conqueror, the Champion, the Lion…

For exposing him, Ààre turned against Sanwo-Ola viciously, intent on ridiculing him publicly and making life terrible for him. At a public function, Ààre refused to acknowledge Sanwo-Ola, sending disturbing signals within the Atlantic City.

Sanwo-Ola ran from pillar to post, begging the young and old to help appease the Esu in Abuja to eat èbùré, the atonement sacrifice. Witches and wizards from all parts of the land flew to the portal of power to beg Alhameda to lift his jackboots off the neck of Sanwo-Ola.

The blood pressure of Sanwo-Ola rose because fear had taken him hostage. Brandy and whiskey became his water. He knew the fates that befell those who fell out with Ààre: impeachment, prosecution and persecution. He cried and prayed. And God listens to prayers.

A few days later, a call came through. It was one of the elders. “Ààre has finally listened to us. He said you can celebrate your anniversary. But he said to show you’re really contrite at heart, you must not dance all those your ‘Gbe body e,” “Zanku,” “Shaku Shaku,” “Legwork,” styles o.” Sanwo-Ola: “Ha, thank you very much, sir. E se, sir. I will see you all, sir.”

Sanwo-Ola invited his colleagues from other lands to his big party. There was a particular colleague of his who came from a land popular for its healing river. Ha! That colleague no dey take ear hear music, e go jump up and start to twist.

At the party, that Sanwo-Ola’s colleague with a skyscraping cap would dance vigorously towards Sanwo-Ola, but Sanwo-Ola would only sway to the left and the right like a faulty standing fan. “What is wrong with Sanwo-Ola today? He’s not vibing,” his dancer colleague thought.

Adewale Ayuba’s music blared, “File! Ma ba won ta tan dele o…” Sanwo-Ola swayed, his colleague rocked.

Days after the party, the Ajélè of Eko called his Chief Security Officer.

Sanwo-Ola: Hello CSO! Arrange security, we must head out to Abuja immediately!

CSO: Today, YE?

Sanwo-Ola: I said immediately!

CSO: I’m sorry, YE; you told me a few minutes ago you’ve been placed on bed rest by your doctor, sir.

Sanwo-Ola: If I miss the 2 o’clock flight, consider yourself redeployed.

CSO: Yes, YE!

In a couple of minutes, sirens blared and a fleet of the latest automobiles snaked out of the palatial residence en route to the airport.

Sanwo-Ola: Listen to me carefully, COS. Do not mess this up. This is why I asked you to lead the advance team to Abuja. Get those market women and men, students, artisans, thugs and schoolchildren to Ass-o-Rock gate and wait. I’m flying in with our elders, leaders and dignitaries. We shall be there shortly. Kill cows and cook various foods. Let drinks flow like a river.

COS: What are we celebrating, YE, sir?

Sanwo-Ola: We are coming to Abuja to thank Aare for wishing me well during my anniversary.

COS: Who are those coming with you, YE?

Sanwo-Ola: My wife and all the who’s who in Eko. It’s not easy for Ààre to send well wishes to mortals. On his mandate, I shall quench.

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

News

Textile, Garment And Tailoring Workers Assault Journalists In Edo

Published

5 hours ago

September 16, 2025

Editor

Some members of the National Union of Textile, Garment and Tailoring Workers of Nigeria (NUTGTWN), Edo State branch,
on Tuesday, assaulted journalists who were invited to their secretariat to cover their meeting.

Deputy General Secretary of the NUTGTWN, Comrade Emeka Nkwoala, invited the journalists to the secretariat of the body to get the outcome of a meeting he was directed to hold with them following the resignation of the branch chairman, Mike Ochei from the Caretaker Committee, and the suspension leadership of the union in Edo State over his resignation.

The Caretaker Committee was set up by the leadership of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) to resolve the crisis and conduct election into the state leadership of the Congress.

Ochei, while resiging was quoted to have said that he was coerced into the membership of the caretaker committee, hence his resignation.

Trouble, however, started, when, after the journalists introduced themselves inside the hall, and as Nkwoala about to talk, some of the members of the body started shouting ‘we don’t need press,’ it is an internal affair, they must leave,’ which was followed by some of the union members physically assaulting the journalists. One of the members poked his hands into the eyes of one of the reporters, while they used derogatory words on them.

Addressing journalists after the uproar that followed the meeting, Nkwoala said Ochei was contacted and informed before he was nominated to serve in the NLC committee, stressing that it was, therefore, wrong for him to have claimed that he was coerced into the committee.

He, thereafter, apologised to journalists who were harassed by some members of the union.

Nkwoala said: “I want to apologise on behalf of our union, we are a matured union, we hold the press in high esteem and we relate very well with the press. From the inception of our union, our past leaders didn’t joke with the press. Is it Comrade Adams Oshiomhole, Comrade Issa Aremu or the current General Secretary Comrade Ali Baba? We don’t joke with the press. We apologise for the embarrassment that our members caused you. We are not known for such.

“The state of our union right now in Edo State is that we have suspended the Mike Ochei led state exco. They are on suspension till further notice. That was the resolution we reached with the various chairmen of the zones in Benin City today, it was also the resolution of our National Administrative Council (NAC) of our Union via our zoom meeting yesterday (Monday). So they cannot represent the NUTGTWN anywhere in whatever capacity.”

On the way forward for the crisis in Edo NLC, he said: “Our allegiance is to the national leadership of the NLC ably led by Comrade Joe Ajaero and the Professor Monday Igbafen led caretaker committee. We believe that the leadership of the NLC has machinery in place to deal with some of these issues, for us we are part and parcel of the NLC and we will continue to pay our allegiance with the leadership of congress led by Comrade Ajaero.”

News

Edo Deputy Gov Tasks Lab Scientists On Research, Vaccine Production

Published

8 hours ago

September 16, 2025

Editor

Deputy governor of Edo State, Hon. Dennis Idahosa, on Tuesday, urged the Association of Medical Laboratory Scientists of Nigeria (AMLSN), to go into deep research, and channelled scientific findings to boost public health.

Idahosa also urged the scientists to set up a vaccine manufacturing company in Edo State.

The deputy governor spoke when he played host to the state chapter of AMLSN, saying “as we speak, we still do not have a vaccine manufacturing company or industry in the whole of Nigeria. That, to me, is worrisome.”

Idahosa, who hosted the scientists on behalf of Governor Monday Okpebholo, added: ” This is the heartbeat of the nation. I think we should roll up our sleeves and do what other states in this country have not done before. Let Edo be the beginner.”

He appreciated the laboratory scientists on the courtesy visit, just as he commended them for their contributions and medical interventions, which he said had given a boost to the public health sector delivery system in the state.

Making reference to the campaign manifesto and five point SHINE Agenda of Okpebholo, Idahosa affirmed that, “after security, health is number two. We are laying so much emphasis on health. Edo State is going to be happy with what we are going to do with the health sector.”

Idahosa assured the scientists that he was going to work closely with “the think tanks in the health sector based on raised areas of needs,” as “government would look at the best way to proffer solution to some of these challenges.”

State Chairman of the AMLSN, Dr. Ekhaguere Ehigie who earlier congratulated the Edo State Government for victories at the polls and in court, highlighted issues that plagued laboratory practice in Nigeria.

He advocated the setting up of modern molecular laboratories and use of Nano technology to boost disease diagnosis, accurate laboratory results and monitoring/surveillance of public health.

News

10 Things Candidates Should Know About Customs Recruitment CBT Exams

Published

8 hours ago

September 16, 2025

Editor

The Nigeria Customs Service has issued detailed guidelines to shortlisted candidates ahead of its computer-based test for the ongoing recruitment exercise.

This was contained in a statement obtained by The PUNCH on Tuesday.

The service emphasised that the CBT would be strictly monitored and advised candidates to take note of all instructions to avoid disqualification.

According to the NCS, here are 10 key things applicants must know

1. Test will be online

The service explained that the CBT would be conducted virtually, allowing candidates to write the exam from any location as long as there is reliable internet access. It added that those without personal devices could make use of internet-enabled computer centres.

2. Mobile phones not allowed

Applicants were warned against attempting to use mobile phones for the exam, as the platform does not support such devices. Only laptops and desktops that have webcam capability and allow full-screen display will be accepted.

3. Facial verification required

The NCS stated that a mandatory facial recognition process would be carried out during login. Candidates were urged to prepare accordingly, as their faces must match the details already provided during registration.

4. Avoid untidy appearance

The mail advised applicants to ensure their facial presentation is clear and uncluttered, stressing that “clumsy facial looks” might hinder the smooth operation of the verification system.

5. Sensitive to noise and movement

The CBT application is programmed to detect unusual behaviour. Candidates were cautioned to sit still and maintain focus throughout the test. The system, it warned, could log out those who make excessive body movements or create noise.

6. No distractions allowed

Beyond movements, the service also warned against writing the exam in noisy environments. It explained that whispering or background disturbances may be picked up by the system and interpreted as malpractice.

7. One window at a time

Applicants must remain on a single screen throughout the exam. Switching from one window to another, even briefly, could be flagged by the application as an attempt to cheat.

8. Pre-test before main exam

To familiarise candidates with the system, the service said there would be a compulsory practice session two days before the actual test. This, it added, would enable applicants to understand how the application works and reduce errors on the exam day.

9. Two links for candidates

The NCS explained that applicants would receive two separate links: one to access the pre-test and another for the main CBT on a different date. It urged candidates to use the correct link on the assigned day.

10. Extra test for Superintendent cadre

The mail noted that those who applied for the Superintendent cadre (Level 8) would undertake an additional CBT in the next phase of the recruitment. However, this requirement does not apply to candidates seeking positions in the Inspectorate and Customs Assistant cadres.

The service said that applicants who scale through all stages would be invited for a final screening.

According to The PUNCH, 286,697 candidates were shortlisted for the CBT stage, with the NCS directing all applicants to validate their email addresses as part of the process.