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The animal called dino

Published

4 years ago

March 9, 2020

By Tunde Odesola

Ever since I was a kid, the printed word held an amazing fascination for me than both the television and the cinema. In the last three years, you can hardly catch me seated before the mega screen of the cinema or the screen of the television. This isn’t to say I’ve grown to dislike the TV or the cinema. Nor is it because I now love news, sports, geographic documentaries, comedy, crime investigation and music less than I used to. It’s because globalisation is pushing Man to the cul de sac of hurtful individualism. Gone are the days when family members sit together to enjoy soaps on TV or series on radio or blockbusters at the cinema – no thanks to the emergence of phones, tablets, iPads etc as purveyors of digital video and audio services from online retailers such as Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, Roku etc.

These new mass media dominators are eclipsing traditional print and electronic media such as newspapers, magazines, television, radio and outdoor advertising. Today, there’s no radio station in the world I can’t access on my phone in real time. Today, my phone not only serves as a tool for wellness, calling, texting, buying and selling, travelling, research etc, I also have the full complement of all the stations on Xfinity live on it, availing me the opportunity of watching live football games, among many other amazing programmes.

Last week, I was browsing in the social media sea of my weather-beaten phone when a video sailed in onboard the ship called WhatsApp. Though the video wasn’t a documentary by National Geo Wild, it was, nonetheless, from the animal kingdom. In the video, a huge dinosaur was seen before a mirror in a cozy apartment. Dinosaur is a big word, you know. But most great things come in small packs. Because of my love for the printed word and for simplicity, I looked up the word ‘dinosaur’ in the dictionary to see if it has a short form and ‘dino’ popped up. Wow! So, the word ‘dino’ is the short form of dinosaur, I thought to myself as I suppressed a burst of laughter.

The dino in the luxurious apartment that looked like a hotel must have strayed in from the wild because it was clearly a misfit in the habitat. Strangely, when it opened its mouth, it began to sing like a human being. This stupid dino must have been overawed by mistakenly finding itself in a human environment and couldn’t help exhibiting the animalistic traits in it. With crooked fingers, the dino tried futilely to video itself in its new-found human environment, using a phone. It attempted to focus the camera of the phone it was holding on itself in a bid to show its face to the human world. But its wish won’t just materialise; the camera won’t lighten up the face of the animal. The pudgy fingers failed to capture the monster’s face on the phone’s camera. Or maybe the camera sensed rightly that the hand holding it was a beast’s, not a human’s – hence, in protest, it blurred the face of the dino into an evil mask unworthy to be shown to humanity. The animal also sang a song of sorrow in the background.

That was when I remembered the late Fuji maestro, Chief Sikiru Ayinde Barrister, in his 1981 evergreen album, ‘Suuru Baba Iwa’, which contains the classic song about the gorilla that wanted to become a human being. In Barrister’s tale, the gorilla failed to remain in isolation for seven days as God instructed it, jumping out to celebrate anticipatory victory on the sixth day of a seven-day miracle. Just like the gorilla in Barrister’s song failed to become a human being as a result of impatience, the dino in the WhatApp video fell short of exhibiting humanistic ideals because of insane greed as captured in the brainless song of lamentation that it sang.

This is the Yoruba song the dino broke into, “Bami gbe o (4x)/Bukata mi, enu mi ti fe, bami gbe(2x)” Translation: “Help me bear them (4x)/My financial commitments are enormous, help me bear them (2x).”

For believers in Darwin’s theory of evolution, the video could earn them bragging rights because it showed the dino replicating human’s manipulative trait. After the first few lines of its supplication to God for assistance in its financial obligations, the dino, in subsequent lines, revealed the real intention why it shot the video – to bask in the opulence of ill-gotten wealth. Knowing full well that children resonate with the masses, the dinosaur cleverly began by begging God for assistance in the payment of its children’s school fees and the payment of its staff salaries. Then it went ahead to the raison d’etre of the video, listing its houses in Dubai, USA and London as some of the financial obligations God should help it bear.

The madness is surely not in its early stages, it seems advanced. The madness gripped the dino by the scruff, seized its soul as it listed the cars in its garage to include Lamborghini, Ferrari, Rolls Royce, begging God to sustain its ostentatious and greedy lifestyle. As the foolish dino was singing about its perishable earthly possessions, it simultaneously showed off the apartment’s elegant interior, videoing the mirror, kitchen, television, trash can, carpet, chairs, lamps, stools, table, drinks, curtains, ashtrays, neighbourhood etc.

How much low can it sink? To think that this dino has no record of inheritance or industry to justify its profligate status highlights the degeneration in the zoo called Najria. To think that this dino was only a fledgling a few years ago and now shamelessly flaunts thousands of hectares of grassland with edible fruits, nuts, vegetables and game for gluttonous consumption show that some animals are shameless thieves, and this fact tears the heart asunder. To think that the dinosaur, who later became one of the leaders in the animal farm, could think and act worse than a maggot is quite disturbing.

I wish human beings can seize this dino and drag it to the psychiatrist for a comprehensive mental evaluation because it needs help urgently. Dinos are extinct creatures, we must keep this last dino alive to teach future generations our story of greed, stupidity, laziness, bigotry, gluttony, avarice, wickedness, deceit and corruption.

I just can’t stop pinching myself and asking, “How did this dino stray into humanity? How?”

Tunde Odesola is a seasoned journalist and a columnist with Punch newspapers

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Featured

Flood: LG Chairman Seeks FG, Private Bodies’ Aids For IIlushi, Obada Communities

Published

5 months ago

December 6, 2023

Editor

By Joe Ebi

The Chairman, Esan South East Local Government Council of Edo State, Hon. Louis Imhandegbelo, has appealed to the Federal Government, the state government and private bodies to, as a matter of urgency, come to the rescue of over 400 persons displaced by flood in Illushi and Odaba communities in Esan South East and Etsako local government areas of the state.

The Executive Chairman made the appeal when he paid an on-site assessment to the affected communities on Tuesday December 5th, 2023.

INFO DAILY reports that over 100 houses and thousands of hectares of farmland are already affected by the flood as their crops, such as rice and their properties have Been washed away by the flood.

INFO DAILY also reports that the communities that are mostly affected are on the bank of River Niger.

Imhandegbelo, while lamenting the loss, said that because of the enormous destruction occasioned by the flood, there was little or nothing the council could do.

While noting that no fewer than 600 indigenes are affected with about half the number already “displaced by the flood as of today, the 5th day of December, 2023.”

He said temporary camps set up to accommodate the displaced shall be maintained immediately.

“I am appealing to all relevant government agencies, as well as the state and Federal Government to come to the aid of the victims.”

He said: “The disaster is mind-boggling. Homes are submerged, some houses have been even destroyed, and farmlands and crops were washed away. People don’t have homes to sleep in and have their normal daily life.”

Assuring the people of government’s Intervention, he said; “We are in the process of evacuating you to safer locations. But the job is obviously beyond us; hence, we are calling on both the state and federal government to come to our aid without delay,”

Featured

Gang Fight: Two Killed, Prime Suspect, Azali, On The Run In Edo

Published

1 year ago

January 27, 2023

Editor

Two persons have reportedly been killed in a gang fight in Ekiadolor village in the Ovia-North East local government area of the State, following a dispute that spiraled from a football game played in neighbouring Iyowa community.

The fight that started as a mere argument at Iyowa community field during a friendly match which later snowballed into a cult war with the parties targeting opponents; their houses and business interests,later claimed the life of one Osaro Agbonze and Kingsley Enabulele.

A witness who didn’t want his name mentioned explained that trouble started during the friendly match in Iyowa community when Osaro Agbonze was asked to leave the field over his unruly behaviour but he refused to obey the referee.

The witness added that Jude Azali an opponent player in the friendly game supported the referee in trying to force Osaro out of the pitch to allow the game to continue but that didn’t go down well with Osaro who threatened to deal with Jude after the match.

He explained that Osaro, after threatening to deal with Jude, disappeared only for him in the company of four other guys of his cult group traced Jude Azali to a popular Bar in Ekiadolor and attacked him with his friends that evening, leading to the death of Osaro Agbonze and Jude Azali’s friend Kingsley Enabulele.

The gang, according to the source, had earlier that evening stormed Azali’s house ostensibly to kill him, but couldn’t because he had already left home before the arrival of the felons.

But his shop was not speared as the rampaging cult guys viciously destroyed his business promises and also beat up his brother when they could not find him to kill.

“They wanted him dead for innocently challenging a notorious and irresponsible cult guy Osaro Agbonze who attempted to disrupt the game flow when he stubbornly refused to leave after he had been sent off the pitch by the officiating referee during a friendly football match in Iyowa community.

According to the source, in the ensueing fight at the bar, one of Jude Azali’s friends Kingsley Enabulele who was trying to defend Jude was fatally stabbed and that angered his friend Nelson Ogbebor who rushed to his car to get a gun and shot Osaro dead.

“The death of Osaro reportedly angered his friends who went on rampage in search of Azali in Ora community where he lived before going to his shop at opposite Ovbiogie Primary School in Ovbiogie Community,near Ekiadolor. They however vented their anger on his shop,destroying it completely”, the source who pleaded not to be named, concluded.

Meanwhile, the police have said that one Mr Jude Azali is wanted over the death of one Osaro Agbonze and his involvement in the crises which have distrupted peace and order in that axis of Benin.

The police have vowed to get all those involved in the killings to face the law, warning the public against what they referred to as the quick and unwarranted resort to self help in resolving disputes.

Featured

Outrage As Adeboye’s Son Calls RCCG Pastors ‘Goats’

Published

2 years ago

April 6, 2022

Editor

Pastor E.A. Adeboye

Leke Adeboye, the son of the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, slammed erring pastors of the church, calling them ‘goats’ for preaching their sermons after the G.O. had finished speaking and preaching.

This generated outrage on social media as many condemned the statement while some others called for his suspension.

Usually, first Sunday of every month, parishes of the RCCG are linked up with the National Headquarters of the church, where the G.O. would deliver a sermon – expected to be the only sermon of the day. Meanwhile, some parish pastors often do a follow-up preaching after the G.O’s.

Reacting to such a move, Pastor Leke took to his Instagram account and referred to the RCCG pastors who preached their messages after the G.O. had preached his sermon as ‘goats’.

“Why would you go and preach another sermon after Daddy G.O. had just finished speaking and preaching.

“You are not a son, you are a goat, sir. Next Thanksgiving Service, just do an altar call, then thanksgiving,” Leke posted.

Tweeps bemoaned this statement, called it rude and others demanded his suspension by the RCCG.

“#rccg should suspend Leke Adeboye for calling ordained pastors #GOAT. What a gut,” @ollynetworker said.

“That’s very rude of you, Leke Adeboye! You are the goat here,” @Joanna8214 tweeted.

@TomisinAmokeoja said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Leke Adeboye calling pastors goat was way overboard. Really leaves much to be desired. Always been controversial though. I wonder how he would have reacted if he was the G.O.”

A tweep, @CeciliaOkoroma, said that such a statement was not nice and unexpected from a man of God.

”This is simply not too nice a statement from ‘man of God’ and in particular, son of G.O RCCG,” she tweeted.

PUNCH.