News

The Crowning Of Shekau

Published

5 years ago

March 2, 2020

Editor

Tunde Odesola

It’s 2:30am but she lays wide awake in bed. Her disturbed mind, with the measured precision of an expert blacksmith, tongs each issue troubling her mind on the anvil and sets the hammer to work, forging shapes into metals, burnishing hope into a grave polity. I-Sha needs to quickly find an elixir to the two ailments plaguing her husband – deafness to reason and numbness to reality.

The thoughts came pouring down her soul like snowflakes in winter – white, feathery and beautiful yet icy, bone-freezing and deadly. She gently turns on her side, pulls the succulent duvet under her chin and lolls up on the kingsize bed, glancing at her husband sitting on the chair by the lamp.

She looks at the lion she married several years ago and sadness fills her heart. In place of the lion, a cat she sees. Though still slim and suave, the bouncy confidence has departed the gait of the man she adored. Boo, as she fondly calls him, was efficient when he donned the green khaki – only needing to open his mouth, and a horde of subordinates would fall over themselves in submissive obedience to his command. But this democracy babariga is too large and too complicated for Boo to wear. With his gangly frame, he always seems lost in the billows of the parachute the agbada of democracy has turned into. In democracy, Boo seems like a whale stranded on seashore. In the military, the zombie structure masks his inadequacies.

I-Sha: (She clears her throat) What’s going on, Your Excellency?

Boo: Menene, I-Sha?

I-Sha: What’s going on in your government? Don’t feign ignorance, you know what I’m talking about, Your Excellency.

Boo: It’s midnight; you need to be in bed, sleeping.

I-Sha: I’m in bed. I’ll sleep when you put my mind at rest.

Boo: Picks his teeth.

I-Sha: You see, that’s what I’m saying; it’s about 3am and you’re picking your teeth. You ate at 8pm, you’re picking your teeth at 3am! Whenever there’s an urgent issue, you pick your teeth.

Boo: I-Sha, picking my teeth is a strategy.

I-Sha: Strategy?

Boo: Yes, and an art of war.

I-Sha: Art of war?

Boo: Haka ne! It masks the mind’s construction from the face.

I-Sha: Mind’s construction?

Boo: Exactly!

I-Sha: So, you know the strategy and art of war, and Boko Haram has been feeding the flesh of your soldiers to the birds? You know how to mask the mind’s construction from the face, yet you can’t do anything without your rough-riding relative, Haba Kia, and the manipulative Mammon Dowrat, who have completely seized power from you.

Boo: What do you mean?

I-Sha: Who gives commands to your service chiefs? Who gives directives to ministers and heads of government agencies? Nigerians know who they voted for, but they’re amazed how another C-i-C emerged in Kia. They also know that Mammon is the voice on the throne. The masses are utterly disappointed in you, muji na. You deceitfully kept the promise of change to their ears and shattered it to their hope.

Boo: (His phone rings, he picks it) That’s Mammon calling. He’s in my private room.

I-Sha: Mammon calling?

Boo: Yes.

I-Sha: So?

Boo: I need to go and answer him or should I tell him to come into the bedroom?

I-Sha: (Exasperated, speaks in Hausa) Is it Mammon who should answer to you or you answer to Mammon?

Boo: This is a democracy; everyone is equal.

He gets up and leaves the bedroom. Tears roll down I-Sha’s eyes.

Interlude
Both Dowrat and Kia greet as Boo steps into the private room.

Boo: Why is everybody shouting your name all over the place, Kia?

Kia: (Chuckling) I don’t know, Your Excellency. I must be doing something great.

Boo: Even I-Sha won’t sleep; she’s worried. They say you and Mammon have taken over governance. Do these people know anything about devolution of power?

Dowrat: Anyone can say whatever they like. An urgent matter of state brought us here, Your Excellency. It’s the coronavirus.

Boo: Oh yes, I heard that the coronavirus is now in Lagos. What’re you doing about it?

Dowrat: That’s why we’re here.

Boo: Good. What’re you doing?

Dowrat: We need to embark on vaccination of cows against the dreaded disease before it leaves Lagos for the North. We need about N20bn for the exercise.

Boo: Coronavirus is a very deadly disease, Mammon! Will N20bn be enough?

Kia: We’ll manage it and take N300m from the N386m earmarked for the treatment and prevention of the disease from being transmitted among humans.

Boo: That’s ok; humans can talk, cows can’t.

Kia: When I leave here, I’m going to look for a professor of virology and appoint him as the head of government’s intervention on coronavirus initiative for cows.

Boo: Will you appoint another professor of virology to oversee the remaining N86m earmarked for human vaccination, treatment and prevention?

Kia: The disease was discovered in Lagos, not Kaduna, Your Excellency. A primary healthcare officer will be ok for humans.

Boo: You this boy, you’re very wise. I don’t know why everybody is shouting coronavirus! coronavirus! Kenya has suspended all flights from China, South Africa has evacuated her nationals from China.

Kia: People from the North don’t travel abroad, so we don’t need to evacuate anybody.

Boo: Even Ateekoo that I defeated is advising that I suspend flights from countries affected by coronavirus. What does that one know about governance?

Dowrat: I wonder o, Your Excellency. His former boss from the rock city has gone mute after your re-election

Boo: You’ll soon begin to hear his voice when the new policy comes on stream.

Kia: Which of the lofty policies? Is it the one seeking southern land for herdsmen? Or the one seeking to criminalise resistance to herdsmen killings?

Boo: No, it’s the bill seeking to crown Boko Haram leader, Shekau, the Shehu of Terrorism; grant amnesty to repentant Boko Haram members and allow them enjoy foreign education.

Kia: Haa! Those bills? They will just shout and keep quiet. When they refused to allow rugga and Boko Haram was killing them, they shouted and shouted and stopped. This one also, they’ll shout and keep quiet.

Boo: I like it that the bill emanated from the senate. If it was from Azo Roc, they would’ve, by now, been burning tyres on the streets.

Kia: Don’t mind them, Your Excellency.

Boo: Have you spoken to Shekau?

Kia: Yes. He’s very happy. Particularly, he loves the policy that seeks to enlist his members into the army. He even expressed his desire to head the joint Army with its headquarters in Sambisa.

Dowrat:Lofty as these policies are, we need to be wary of the western world; you know they like poking their noses into people’s affairs. They’ll make an issue out of the babies Boko Haram mistakenly threw into bonfires. They’ll listen to the false allegation that Boko Haram is a terrorist group that kills and rapes.

Boo: People don’t know that everything that has an advantage, has a disadvantage. Did Odion Ighalo not profit from the coronavirus outbreak in China? This is why I’m not going to worry myself banning flights, setting up quarantine centres or providing any support. What will be, wll be.

Dowrat: We should even thank God the disease was discovered in Lagos, like the Ebola case. The coronavirus would’ve been uncontrollable if it broke out in the North.

Boo: I’ve said it; everything that has an advantage, has a disadvantage. They said I should sack service chiefs, I refused. If I had sacked them, would we be having this wonderful partnership with Boko Haram today?

I-Sha, who overheard all their conversation, looks through the door and shouts, “Takulahi!” meaning “Fear God!”

One of the men countered, “Allah ya halince ka!” meaning, “May God punish you!”, and he goes after I-Sha.

Tunde Odesola is a seasoned journalist and a columnist with the Punch newspapers

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

News

BREAKING: Renowned Businessman, Aminu Dantata, Is Dead

Published

7 hours ago

June 28, 2025

Editor

Alhaji Aminu Alhassan Dantata, a renowned Nigerian businessman and philanthropist, has passed away at the age of 94.

The news of billionaire businessman’s demise was disclosed via a social media post on Saturday by the Deputy National Treasurer of the Nigerian Association of Chambers of Commerce, Industry, Mines and Agriculture (NACCIMA), Uba Tanko Mijinyawa.

According to him, details of the Muslim funeral prayer (Jana’iza) for Dantata will be announced in due course.

“Inna Lillahi wa’inna ilaihi Raji’un. Allah ya yi wa babanmu Dattijo, Alhaji Aminu Alhassan Dantata, rasuwa. Muna addu’a Allah ya jikan sa, ya gafarta masa. Za a sanar da lokacin jana’izarsa,” Tanko wrote in Hausa language.

Tanko’s message about the late philanthropist, who is also an uncle to Africa’s richest man, Aliko Dangote, was translated as “Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. May Allah have mercy on our father and elder, Alhaji Aminu Alhassan Dantata. We pray for his forgiveness. The time of his funeral will be announced.”

Also confirming the news, his Principal Private Secretary, Mustapha Abdullahi Junaid, disclosed in a statement Saturday morning that the Janazah details will be shared later.

Junaid wrote, “Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. It is with heavy heart that I announce the passing of our beloved father, Alhaji Aminu Alhassan Dantata. May Allah grant him Jannatul Firdaus and forgive his shortcomings. The Janazah details will be shared later insha Allah.”

Alhaji Aminu Dantata, who was the founder of Express Petroleum & Gas Company Ltd., is also credited with having played a key role in the establishment of Nigeria’s first non-interest (Islamic) bank, Jaiz Bank.

News

EYIF: Utilize N2m Grant Provided By The Govt, Edo Deputy Gov Urges Youths

Published

15 hours ago

June 27, 2025

Editor

…says 1,500 applicants screened, 30 met requirements

Deputy Governor of Edo State, Hon. Dennis Idahosa, has urged youths in the state to make the best use of the N2 million start-up grant provided by the state government under the Edo Youth Impact Forum (EYIF).

Idahosa added that the youths must be innovative as they tapped into the two million start-up grant.

In a statement, the Chief Press Secretary to the Deputy Governor, Friday Aghedo, said Idahosa made the remarks during an incubation class of EYIF.

The Edo number two citizen, while noting that EYIF was parts of the government’s drive to build a new generation of entrepreneurs that would impact and shape the state’s financial economy, showed them how to position themselves in the entrepreneurial space to boost the local economy.

Idahosa encouraged the youths to put behind their challenges and make the best of the opportunity provided by the Senator Monday Okpebholo-led government.

According to him,
though 1,500 applicants got screened ahead of the finale scheduled for July 2, 2025, only 30 met the requirement and thus scaled the initial process.

“This number has again been pruned to 10 participants today and will eventually be reduced further to five finalists at the end of the day.

“Irrespective of who emerges as finalists, I want you to know that you are all winners. We are here as a government to encourage the youths because any society that strives to grow must have an active youth involvement,” Idahosa reiterated.

Earlier, the Special Adviser to the Governor on Finance, Investment and Revenue Generation, Mr. Kizito Okpebholo, presented the participants to the deputy governor.

News

Things To Know About Nigeria’s New Tax Laws

Published

17 hours ago

June 27, 2025

Editor

President Bola Tinubu on Thursday signed four new tax laws aimed at modernising and streamlining the country’s tax system.

In the new tax law, the Value Added Tax rate remains at 7.5 per cent despite initial proposals to increase to 12.5 per cent, but its scope is expanded.

Essential items—such as food, education, healthcare, public transport, residential rent, and exports—are zero-rated to ease inflationary pressure.

For revenue allocation is restructured: now 30 per cent of VAT proceeds are distributed based on consumption (rather than contribution), 50 per cent equally among states, and 20 per cent to population-based allocation.

With the latest development, it is expected that state revenue streams will increase, and it will also discourage tax evasion.

Overview of the four new laws

Nigeria Tax Act: Consolidates various tax rules into a single, simplified code, eliminating over 50 small, overlapping taxes. This reduces complexity and duplication, making it easier for businesses to comply.

Tax Administration Act: Establishes uniform rules for tax collection across federal, state, and local governments, ensuring consistency and reducing administrative conflicts.

Nigeria Revenue Service Act: Replaces the Federal Inland Revenue Service with the independent Nigeria Revenue Service, aiming for greater efficiency and autonomy in tax administration.

Joint Revenue Board Act: Enhances coordination between different government levels and introduces a Tax Ombudsman and Tax Appeal Tribunal to handle disputes fairly.

Key objectives of the new tax rules

Simplify Tax System: Reduces bureaucratic hurdles and overlapping taxes to make compliance easier, especially for small businesses and informal traders.

Increase Revenue Efficiency: Aims to boost Nigeria’s tax-to-GDP ratio from 10% (below the African average of 16–18%) to 18 per cent by 2026 without raising taxes on essential goods.

Reduce Financial Burden: Provides relief for low-income households and small businesses while ensuring high-income earners and luxury consumers contribute more.

Fund Public Services: Increased revenue will support infrastructure, healthcare, and education, reducing reliance on borrowing.

Who benefits and how
Low-Income Households:
Individuals earning up to ₦1 million ($650) annually receive a ₦200,000 rent relief, reducing taxable income to ₦800,000, exempting them from income tax.

VAT exemptions on essential goods and services (food, healthcare, education, rent, power, baby products) lower living costs.

Small businesses:

Businesses with an annual turnover below ₦50 million ($32,400) are exempt from company income tax.
Simplified tax filing without requiring audited accounts reduces compliance costs.

Large businesses:

Corporate tax rates drop from 30 per cent to 27.5 per cent in 2025 and 25 per cent thereafter.
Tax credits for VAT paid on expenses and assets allow businesses to recover the 7.5 per cent VAT.

Charitable, educational, and religious organisations:

Tax incentives for non-commercial earnings, encouraging community-focused activities.
Impact on different groups
Low-Income Earners: Benefit most from income tax exemptions and lower costs for essentials, increasing disposable income.

Small Businesses and informal traders: Simplified rules and tax exemptions encourage compliance and reduce financial strain, potentially formalising more businesses.

High-income earners and luxury consumers face higher VAT on luxury goods and premium services, plus capital gains tax on large share sales.

Government: Expects increased revenue for public services without overburdening vulnerable citizens.

Why reforms were needed

Nigeria’s tax system was outdated, inefficient, and disproportionately harsh on low-income groups.
The low tax-to-GDP ratio (10%) limited funding for critical services like healthcare and infrastructure.
Overlapping taxes and complex rules deterred compliance, especially among small businesses and informal traders.
Public and expert reactions

Positive sentiment: Small business owners welcome tax exemptions but seek clarity on enforcement to avoid unexpected levies.

Low-income earners appreciate relief on essentials but remain cautious about implementation.
Taiwo Oyedele, head of the Presidential Fiscal Policy and Tax Reform Committee, claims 90% public support, emphasising that success depends on awareness and trust.

The reforms align with Tinubu’s administration’s goal to reduce economic inequality and boost fiscal capacity without overburdening citizens.

By encouraging voluntary compliance and reducing reliance on loans, Nigeria aims to strengthen its economy and fund development projects.

These reforms mark a significant step toward a fairer, more efficient tax system, with a focus on supporting vulnerable groups while fostering economic growth. However, their success hinges on transparent enforcement and public trust. For further details, you can refer to official statements from the Nigerian government or credible news sources covering the reforms.
(PUNCH)