If you have not seen one of the latest videos trending on social media showing a ‘drink-a-thon’ by some captured thieves, then you are missing something. It’s a must-watch.

The video captures a very rare punishment administered to a group of South African thieves who tried to steal alcohol from a shop. They were forced to consume the very bottles of beer they tried to steal. Try that nonsense here in Naija all in the name of being a burglar, and you’d hardly tell where a mob that will beat ‘shege’ out of your life will emerge from.

Only God will help the thief if he is handed over to the police; though not without being first battered black and blue by the angry mob.

With this kind of unconventional method of justice, it’s likely that many hungry thieves in Nigeria may have to relocate to South Africa. While there are fears that such form of punishment could lead to severe health complications or death for the South African beer thieves, netizens have not stopped cracking jokes about the incident. Some say they were enjoying the fruit of their hard work, while others called it VIP honour. This is “Drink a thon” under duress!

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Portable, Pasuma sing in church
As at Thursday, the outrage over the invitation of Portable and Pasuma by a branch of the Celestial Church of Christ, in Lagos, for its Ankara/praise night event continued on social media. The Church has been facing criticism for the decision to invite secular musicians to such a religious event holding on December 15th, 2023.

While the controversy about why the Church decided to involve secular musicians rather than gospel artistes for the programme is understandable, some people are of the opinion that the choice of the Church must be respected. However, one cannot stop imagining what songs these guys would sing that night. Is it Zazu Zeh or Fuji music? How will our dearly talented Portable dress? Anyway, time would have given us the answer if not that their invitation had been withdrawn.

The jealous Nurse and DNA results
What do we call this? A nurse alters the DNA results of children and afterwards, destroys the family. Seriously, was that done out of jealousy, admiration for the man, or desperation for love? The answer, obviously, is none of the above. This is insanity! Wonders they say will never cease.

In a most bizarre revelation on TV3’s “Confessions” segment with Miss Nancy, the Ghanaian nurse confessed to manipulating the DNA results of the man’s three children, and causing the couple to divorce. Eventually, she married the man whom she fell in love with at the hospital.

Consequently, she had four children with the man while he was happily oblivious that he was sharing his life with a female serpent. With this incident, people may no longer accept DNA results without further scrutiny.

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Nigerians will never cease to amaze someone. On Wednesday, news about President Tinubu’s time at the National Assembly went viral. It was super breaking news as many began hailing the Asiwaju for breaking records. This is not about the Guinness World Record the president told the world during a foreign programme that he deserves but about the presentation of the 2024 budget of Renewed Hope. In case you do not know, he broke a record for being the first former Senator to be in the complex as president of Nigeria.

And as the hailing went on, as infectious as it was, it got hold of NASS members present, so they sang the president’s campaign song of allegiance; On your mandate we shall stand Bola’.

As it is now, many of those who sang along with the NASS members, are not singing again. Not after they heard about the massive loan the president is seeking the approval of the Senate to collect which will likely make things more difficult for the people.

Moreover, they are beginning to see that this 10th Assembly may not come in handy when the chips are down. Following heavy backlash from Nigerians, even the NASS members are probably unsettled now, looking for a cover story for that ‘eye service’ and unprofessional conduct. They sang ‘On your mandate, we stand’ instead of the national anthem.
VANGUARD