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IBB: I-brahim B-abanla B-andit [OPINION]

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Tunde Odesola

Moonless and mournful, the serene night was pierced by the hoots of an owl perching atop HillTop coven owned by the sad and sadistic Old Soja called Aibibi. In the bowel of his coven, the retired general lay crippled by the weight of his guiltiness, lips twisted out of shape like the butt of a smoked cigarette, eyes glazed like a dead dog’s – hit by a trailer. Karma and its hammer, thank you!

Fulani forebear, Uthman Dan Fodio, believes conscience is an open wound, peppered by guilt, healable by truth. I agree with him. But the truth from North to South, East and West, is that the bloody general has never told a truth all his life.

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Aibibi is a soldier of fortune with a hole in his heart deep enough to harbour all the evils of his miserable existence. He is haunted and shattered despite swimming in the spoils of office amassed when he turned his fatherland into a killing field and a haven of corruption for so many years.

Covens are homes for witches, not for mortals. Aibibi’s Achilles heels, which include greed, self-conceit and vaunting ambition, propelled him to reach for life’s topmost shelf, far beyond the reach of his eyes and ability. But the wise among the Yoruba warn against overambition, “Ohun owó mi ò tó, mà á fi gòngò fà á”: Any desire outside the reach of my ability, I’ll use a sickle to pluck it.

With both hands, General Coward groped for the ‘Crown of Perpetual Reign’ on life’s topmost shelf. On the last rung of the ladder, Aibibi stood on his toes, groping for the crown on the shelf high above, with the weight of corruption suffocating his thick frame, thereby overstretching his calves until his Achilles snapped ‘pai!’: He will never walk again; never walk among men and women of honour because Aibibi belonged in the pit latrine.

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A child who craves leprosy must be ready to live alone in the forest, says a Yoruba proverb of caution. Aibibi bathed in innocent blood, killed millions of destinies, wrecked millions of households and investments, ruining the entire land. While he ‘chopped the life of his head’, he flicked out his snake-like tongue through his holey dentition, smiling and saying, “We shall hand over, Insha Allah.”

READ MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Witches On Portable’s Road To Madness (2)

More than three decades ago, the Old Surdered sleep in the month of June, fled Ass-o-Rock in August and ran to the HillTop, but he cannot escape the witches. who had inhabited the hill even before he was born. Though he built his house on top of the hill, he remained a tenant to the witchy inhabitants of the hill.

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Two rams cannot drink water from the same pot at the same time. The earthen pot cannot contain water, palm kernel and its husk. Mortals are terrestrial. Witches are not; they’re extraterrestrial. Like they did to Macbeth, the witches pushed Aibibi to his doom through his greed and overambition, after which they began to torment him.

After pushing General Pigmy into ignominy, the witches on the hilltop have not relented. They have been haunting him. And Aibibi has been seeing things. Anywhere he turned, he saw the fangs of the Nigerian Hope named June 12, which he murdered. Everywhere he looked, he saw the ghost of Dele Giwa, who packed his dangling intestines with his left hand while clutching a dagger in his right hand, perpetually chasing the short-man-devil.

Every morning, a three-pronged horsewhip floats in the air to Aibibi’s bedside. Only he can see it. While asleep, the horsewhip whacks the General out of bed fai! fai! fai! 15 times! The horsewhip repeats the same procedure at night. The horsewhip belongs to Mamma Vatsa. The 15 lashes represent the 15 tribal marks on Vatsa’s face.

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“I am going crazy,” Aibibi tells his band of bootlickers, “I live a joyless life of daily torture.” His lickspittles ran from pillar to post, looking for a solution to the mental case of Aibibi. They finally found a solution. Relieved, they returned home with joy to tell him the solution. “Baba,” they started, “You must exorcise the evils within you.” “How’s that possible, they are legion?” he replied.

“You must write a book, and we will help you with it. As you relate your life’s journey, the evil spirits will leave you one by one and go into the wilderness like they left Saul in the Holy Bible,” the sycophants told him. “But did evil spirits really leave Saul?” Aibibi asked, adding, “They never really left him despite his wealth and power. Am I going the way of Saul?” He broke down in tears.

One humid evening, a tanker bearing petrol had upturned along the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway and burst into flames when some people were trying to siphon fuel from it, killing 86 persons and burning 57 vehicles. The smell of burnt human flesh and death pervaded the air. There was sorrow, tears and blood everywhere.

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Firefighters and security operatives arrived at the scene. They had a hectic time battling the inferno. Many commuters were stranded. The scene looked like hell on Judgment Day. ‘Area Boys’ were on hand to help clear the corpses and burnt vehicles off the road – for some fees – even as they helped themselves by scavenging the chaos.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Witches On Portable’s Road To Madness (1)

1st Area Boy: Na wa o. See how hungry people scooping fuel die like roasted bushmeat for here while una leaders dey donate billions for one yeye book for Abuja.

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2nd Area Boy: Which book bi dat?

Stranded Passenger: You no dey dis country?

2nd Area Boy: I no dey dis world sef. If I dey dis world na Area Boy I go dey do when I bi graduate?

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Driver: Na Aibibi, dat wicked leader, na im write book wey all our leaders go there go dey donate billions o.

2nd Area Boy: Our leaders? Billions? Which book?

1st Area Boy: You no dey dis world true true.

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Driver: The title of Aibibi book na ‘A Serpent in Service’.

Passenger: I for like buy di book o.

1st Area Boy: Buy wetin? Useless book wey people wey get conscience don tear to pieces? Book wey full of lies from cover to cover?

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Meanwhile, Nigerian icon, Baba Adebanjo, has just died. He’s yet to be buried. So, his gentle soul still lingers within the earthly space, awaiting eternal repose in the bosom of his Maker after his body would have been committed to Mother Earth.

Baba Adebanjo was a disciple of the late sage, Chief Obafemi Awolowo. Like his master, Adebanjo was fearless, honest and blunt. Till he died, Adebanjo, a nonagenarian, walked unaided, his voice was clear, and his senses were sharp. Because he led a life of service to God and humanity, Adebanjo received the grace of graceful ageing. He did his personal hygiene by himself till his last breath. No child needed to strap him around. He was not haunted by evil spirits because he never sold his soul to the devil.

Baba Adebanjo watched the Abuja Show of Shame from the spiritual realm. He saw the roll call and grimaced. “What’s Pitobi doing among these people? I thought he was different.” He saw Emilokan and shook his head. He thought, “Wasn’t Emilokan the same man who was carrying MKO’s bag?” Then he saw Baba Iyabo and hissed. Adebanjo looked out for the Katsina General, “Ah, that one is not present. He probably hasn’t forgiven Aibibi for kicking him out.”

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MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Playing Scrabble With The Murderous King Of Orile-Ifo

The list was endless. Baba Adebanjo saw JonaDumb and shook his head. When he saw General Yacoob and co., he sighed and knew the cycle of infamy was complete. So, Adebanjo ‘fi owó lérán’ by resting his head in his right palm; he yawned and concluded that right inside the Abuja book-launch hall lay the problems of Nigeria.

Finally, the debris on the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway was cleared, and life returned to the road as if nothing happened. Tení kú, ni ti è gbé – it’s the dead that are forgotten.

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2nd Area Boy: Ol’ boy, di book launch still dey do me like dream o. See all di people wey fight and curse Aibibi come dey praise am today like say im bi saint, like say na Nigeria offend Aibibi?

1st Area Boy: Walahi, dem just dey take us play ludo. Aibibi’s soldiers just kill thousands of protesting Nigerians for nothing. Shey na so dat wicked man go just ruin millions of lives without consequence? E no even apologise for the book!

2nd Area Boy: I remember MKO Abiola, Alhaja Kudirat Abiola, Pa Alfred Rewane, Chief Gani Fawehunmi, Chief Abraham Adesanya; Admiral Admiral Ndubuisi Kanu, Chief Arthur Nwankwo, Bamidele Aturu, Chima Ubani, Beko Ransome-Kuti; Comrade Yinka Odumakin, Dr Federick Fasehun, Chief Chukwuemeka Ezeife, Chief Frank Kokori; Commodore Dan Suleiman, Chief Ayo Fasanmi, Chief Olabiyi Durojaiye…

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1st Area Boy: You don forget people like Prof Wole Soyinka, Chief Ralph Obiora, Chief Cornelius Adebayo, and others wey run go exile? What about Prof Humphrey Nwosu, the best electoral officer in Nigeria’s history?

2nd Area Boy: The list no go finish o. What about Comrades Femi Falana, Olisa Agbakoba, Abdul Oroh, Shehu Sani, Uba Sani, Ayo Opadokun and others?

Ist Area Boy: I wonder how Aibibi take make all dis big, big politicians forget all the evil things wey im do?

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2nd Area Boy: When di great grandfather of corruption call, all family members home and abroad must obey!

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

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X: @Tunde_Odesola

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ASUU Declares Two-week Strike, Orders Members To Down Tools On Monday

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The Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) has announced the commencement of a two-week ‘total strike’ and ordered its members to withdraw their services across the country, effective 12:01 a.m. on Monday.

ASUU President, Prof. Christopher Piwuna, disclosed this at a press conference in Abuja on Sunday.

The development comes after the two-week ultimatum issued to the Federal Government to address their long-standing demands expired.

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Prof. Piwuna expressed dismay that nothing significant had happened since it issued the two-week ultimatum. “Government has been asking for time with nothing concrete on the ground to resolve it,” he said.

READ ALSO:ASUU Directs Members To Begin Nationwide Strike Education

According to him, the decision to embark on the total strike was reached after several rounds of meetings with government representatives ended without any tangible commitment.

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He noted that the union had exhausted all avenues for dialogue and patience, emphasising that the strike action was the last resort to compel the government to fulfil its promises.

He further explained that the union had consistently shown restraint in order not to disrupt the academic calendar, but the government’s insensitivity had left them with no alternative.

“Consequently, all branches of ASUU are hereby directed to withdraw their services with effect from midnight (12:01 a.m.) on Monday, 13 October 2025. The warning strike shall be total and comprehensive as agreed at the last NEC meeting,” he said.

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READ ALSO:ASUU Directs Members To Begin Nationwide Strike Education

He also called on well-meaning Nigerians, civil society organisations, and the media to prevail on the Federal Government to address the lingering issues once and for all. The union warned that unless concrete steps are taken within the two-week period, it will not hesitate to extend the strike indefinitely. “This struggle is not just for university lecturers; it is for the soul of public education in Nigeria,” Prof. Piwuna declared.

The seven-point demands include: re-negotiation of the 2009 ASUU-FGN agreement; sustainable funding of universities; revitalisation of universities; victimisation of ASUU members in Lagos State University (LASU), KSU (now Prince Abubakar Audu University), and Federal University of Technology, Owerri (FUTO).

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Others are outstanding 25–35 per cent salary arrears; promotion arrears for over four years; as well as third-party deductions.

 

 

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Nigerian Engineers applaud Gov. Mohammed’s $5bn Investment Deals

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The Nigerian Society of Engineers (NSE), Bauchi state chapter has commended Gov. Bala Mohammed for organising the maiden international investment summit that recorded a 5 billion Dollars investment deal in the state.

It could be recalled that Prof. Murtala Sagagi, Chairman of the Summit Planning Committee, disclosed at the end of the summit that it recorded over 5 billion Dollars investment deals and 47 Memoranda of Understanding (MoUs) signed.

He said that the agreements signed covered agriculture, solid minerals, power, infrastructure, and ICT sectors, adding that one of the MoUs translated into a concrete investment deal worth 1 billion dollars, which would become operational before the end of 2025.

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Speaking with newsmen on Sunday, Engr. Abdulkarim Hassan, Chairman, NSE, Bauchi state chapter, congratulated the state government for organizing and the successful completion of the economic and investment summit.

READ ALSO:Bauchi Attorney-General Says GBV Is A Pressing Human Right Issue

According to him, the summit has also showcased Nigerian engineers’ professional prowess to the world as the newly constructed International Conference Centre (ICC) where the summit was held was built by a Nigerian construction company.

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He expressed confidence in the governor for engaging Nigerian engineers to do the job, saying “the feeling is mutual because if he didn’t have confidence in us, he would have engaged foreign engineers to do the work.

“We extend our profound
congratulations to the governor on the successful completion of the Bauchi
Investment Summit.

“This summit was not merely an event, it was a clear demonstration of his visionary leadership and unwavering commitment to transforming Bauchi State into a prime destination for investment.

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READ ALSO:Bauchi Attorney-General Says GBV Is A Pressing Human Right Issue

“The quality of delegates, the insightful discussions, and the tangible commitments secured during the summit have set a new benchmark for economic engagement in the North-East and other
regions in Nigeria.

“As professional engineers, we were particularly encouraged by the strong emphasis placed on infrastructure, industrialisation, and technological development, which are key pillars that will
drive sustainable growth,” he said.

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Hassan added that the success of the summit has laid a robust foundation for attracting the capital necessary to execute the ambitious infrastructural projects required for the state’s development.

He expressed the readiness of the NSE, Bauchi branch to partner with the state government by offering its professional expertise and technical support to ensure that the outcomes and MoUs from the summit translated into sustainable reality for the people of Bauchi State.

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OPINION: Oshiomhole In A Fight Between The Elephant And The Pit

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By Tony Erha

‘Okuo imose”, “no fight is attractive” – all fight is ugly, according to the Edo people. If a fight doesn’t pluck the teeth it would drip the noise of red blood. That is why pundits were apprehensive and had to caution Dangote Refinery and the Petrol and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria (PENGASSAN) to a sound reasoning, over the sack of 800 of its workers by Dangote, which was followed by a strike action that was later called-off. The fisticuff was intensified as the National Union of Petroleum and Gas Workers of Nigeria (NUPENG), joined the spat by supporting PENGASSAN.

Like the American freestyle wrestling, where partakers fight with anything they lay their hands upon, a melee, a-free-for-all in which no one seems to know the real opponents. The fallout of the Dangote and PENGASSAN fight has unsettled Nigerians. The Benins would say “ama re fi ekpa arie gb’ ihue”; “the fisticuffs hadn’t started when the nose bled blood”. For the hapless consumer public is still at the mercy of the raging feud after the settlement. Indeed, the grass suffered where two elephants fought dirty. Buyers of Dangote products are still groaning under a surge of cooking gas price, from about N1,000 to N3,200 per kg.

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Dangote Refinery’s kingpin, Aliko Dangote, who has huge investment monies flowing in his veins, vowed to a showdown with the PENGASSAN and NUPENG. Do not take my calmness for cowardice; Aliko seemed to have said, flinging his hat into the ring. “…There is no fight I have never won…” he boasted, whereas he actually won several and lost some, in the monopoly business with fellow competitors.

It was a rivalry fight between the Elephant and the Pit, when the Elephant arrogates to being the largest land animal; and the Pit boastful he is the hugest depth in the ground. The Pit threatens to swallow the Elephant and the Elephant determined to cover up the Pit. Finally on the encounter, the Pit that swallows the Elephant wouldn’t swallow more animals, nor will the Elephant live to swallow another pit.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: ‘Ikhueki’, Benin Market Women Are At War!

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In wrestling and boxing of exchange of punches and slams, America’s loquacious president and all-time wrestling and boxing promoter, Donald Trump, is well-known. One of the memorable grim and tricky fights of the tempest Trump was when he dragged his fellow promoter from the ringside to the dais, and beckoned on others to instantly shave his head, to the wild delight of wrestling fans across the globe. Realising that he had truly missed out from his rasmatazz in promoting competitive boxing and wrestling, an intoxicating Trump had recently arranged for a cage-wrestling showdown to mark one of his official events in a US presidential venue. When a lion king thirsts for the blood and flesh of prey, as he no longer go hunting, he claws to his own tongue to a consolatory leak of his own blood to quench his lust for blood.

Adams Aliu Oshiomhole, Nigeria’s former labour leader and ex-governor of Edo State, was dragged into the fight with his comment that PEGASSAN erred declaring a strike action without a second thought for the majority poor, who were bound to suffer the strike’s consequences. PENGASSAN and NUPENG thereby saw Oshiomhole as entering the fight arena as in ‘Enter the Dragon’, an epic film in which Chuck Norris; a famous kickboxer sorted it out with Bruce Lee, the late iconic martial artiste. It was somewhat absurd for NUPENG to point menacingly at Oshiomhole, declaring him a ‘persona non grata’ and placed a ban on him from all NUPENG’s activities, whereas the oil union was only one amongst the over 41 affiliate unions that constituted his command of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC), with him as its two term president.

Now, Oshiomhole seems better placed having resumed his pro-people stand, with his current valuable contributions to it in the Senate’s chamber. But NUPENG is irritated that one of their own could attempt to stop the mongoose from killing the snakes that had all along been killed for gains and superiority sakes. Do the organised labour trust Oshiomhole, vice versa? It’s likened to the crusading music of the late musician Joseph Osayomore; “Who know man naim dey kill man” (one’s enemy is his friend). Although Oshiomhole left active labour activism about two decades ago, he’s probably the same ‘adamant Adams’ who knows the strength and pitfalls of regimental unionism, where men in khaki are soldier ants.

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Why will NUPENG, led by William Akporeha, its president, be so unfair banning their former leader from speaking in their public fora, knowing that speaking in the function of the organized labour was the most effective pills he takes to get well?

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Endless Season Of Guns, Terror And Uncertainties

Oshiomhole may not be a ringside promoter to Dangote and his mercantile, in the fight-to-finish with the PENGASSAN and NUPENG warlords, as he was accused of, nor for a ravaging workers union, than for a weary public that is a usual butt of undue strikes by insensitive workers’ and endless monopoly by businesses. A suspicious PENGASSAN and NUPENG, even though are rightly condemned for anti-people stand, by their inept strike, might have made a valid point that leaders, whose words sometimes (if not often) conflict with the good examples they preach, set the bad example for others to follow.

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In a game of survival, like the odd one currently faced by the Super Eagles, in their bid to qualify for the world cup, a Gernot Roy, Nigeria’s former coach, who was booted out, and now leading the national team of the Republic of Benin, would open Nigeria’s football secrets to his newest side, as NUPENG also think their leaders are to Dangote. And is an irony that Gernot Roy is a decider of the fate of Nigeria, in the Super Eagles final match with the Benin team for the world cup carnival.

Like Trump, Oshiomhole is ‘very slippery’ as he has in common a showmanship, raw courage and the resilience of a marathoner. Oshiomhole is ‘a giant’ who’s physical and determined. Sufuyan Ojeifo, a prolific writer and journalist, once called him ‘dynamite that comes in pieces’; while I add ‘dynamite that turns a mass into pieces’. For a man who trains so rigorously, and does drills which most young men can hardly do, I was terrified when Oshiomhole, unlike a pugilist promoter in a prematch talk-show, angrily warned Reuben Abati, the Arise TV presenter, that he would punch him to puff-puff’ (swollen pie), with a black-eye and calluses, for slandering him.

If the fight between the Dangote petroleum outfit and the oil unions was in the interest of the public, and not for their selfish interests, all wouldn’t be bothered. Union workers usually orchestrate strike actions, only when it comes to their welfare, whilst staple oil derivative products are still beyond reach , notwithstanding that Nigeria is one of the leading oil producing countries of the world, that are starved of its products.

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