Barely 24 hours to the 2025 Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination, UTME, mop-up, the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board, JAMB, has expressed deep concern regarding the low number of candidates that have so far printed their examination notification slips, which will authorise them to write the examination.

JAMB had scheduled the 2025 UTME mop-up examination for Saturday, June 28, 2025.

In a statement on Friday, JAMB regretted that “As of this morning (Friday), only 12,442 out of the 98,232 scheduled candidates have printed their slips, reflecting a mere 12.6% participation rate.”

To this end, it appealed to candidates who missed their previous examinations, to reprint their slips to ensure they do not miss this opportunity.

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“We strongly encourage all candidates, particularly those, who missed the main examination, to print their notification slips promptly.

“This is a rare opportunity for them to participate in this year’s examination,” it appealed in the statement that was issued through its spokesman, Fabian Benjamin.

The statement read further: ”We urge all candidates, who missed their previous examinations, to reprint their slips to ensure they do not miss this opportunity.

“The Board is actively monitoring the printing process to determine the number of candidates who will be present for the examination.

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“Meanwhile, we have deployed both human and material resources to facilitate this exercise, ensuring that all registered candidates have the opportunity to sit the examination.

“Please note that failure to print the examination notification slip will result in forfeiture of the opportunity to take the examination.

“Once again, we urge all candidates to proceed immediately to print their slips for the examination scheduled for tomorrow, Saturday, 28th June, 2025.”

A man, Nasiru Gwallaga has been found guilty of committing a crime of burning down a patrol vehicle of the Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) in Bara village of Kirfi Local Government Area of Bauchi state in 2023.

The Sector Commander of FRSC in the state, Istifanus Ibrahim who disclosed the development in an interview with newsmen on Friday, said that the convict was charged to pay the sum of N150 million representing the value of the burnt vehicle to FRSC in the state.

According to him, Gwallaga and two other accomplices were also sentenced to one year imprisonment or a fine of N15,000 respectively for conspiracy to commit obstruction, obstruction of civil servants and assault of public servants while on duty.

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He explained that the trio were convicted and sentenced by Justice Safiya Doma, at the Chief Magistrate Court, Fadama Mada, Bauchi State on June 23, 2025.

The FRSC boss added that Gwallaga was also found guilty of causing bodily harm to FRSC staff and was to pay the sum of N170,000 for damaging samsung galaxy phone of the then Acting Unit Commander (UC).

“All the convicts were ordered to pay N50,000 representing the cost spent in prosecuting the case by the nominal complainant.

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“The Judge ruled that they have a right of appeal to the High Court of Justice within 30 days of the Judgement.

“This will serve as a deterrent to those who take the law into their own hands.

“Members of the motoring public are advised to be law abiding as we are not enemies, but compatriots on the road to save lives and property,” said the Sector Commander.

Tunde Odesola

When two or more words combine to form a new word, what you get is a compound word, which is also called a portmanteau. An example of a compound/portmanteau word is brunch – a combination of ‘breakfast’ and ‘lunch’; motel: ‘motor’ and ‘hotel’ – a roadside lodging where motorists park directly outside the rooms to rest; podcast is a word coined from ‘iPod’ and ‘broadcast’, just as sunlight is forged from ‘sun’ and ‘light’. Even the word ‘portmanteau’ itself is a portmanteau word, combining ‘porter’ (to carry) and ‘manteau’ (a cloak).

Did you know there’s a compound side to food? Come take a bite. A balanced diet is a healthy meal that nourishes the body with essential nutrients in the right proportions. Adalu is a Yoruba delicacy consisting of corn, beans, and palm oil, popular in Benin and Togo. Abula is a classic Yoruba soup of ewedu and gbegiri that caresses amala on the descent journey to the belly. Oyinbo people, too, have their own compound/portmanteau meals. They have croffle – a combination of croissant dough and waffle; meatza – a pizza crust made from meat; turducken – a roast dish consisting of a boned chicken inside a boned duck, which is placed inside a partially boned turkey.

Is my tale getting more delicious? Good! “Give me second base, jare,” Fela Anikulapo-Kuti would say when he diminuendoes his tune to change musical notes. I’m just about to change to the second base of this literary offering and enter into the underground spiritual game. Hahaha! Just sit back and enjoy, please.

Here we go. There’s a new compound meal in town. The new meal is a portmanteau of madness. It’s as disgusting as it’s disturbing. It’s crazy, irritating and sickening. It’s a food combination that the brainless are guzzling with gusto right now. It is Fufeyin, a meal of fufu and eyin. Eyin is a Yoruba word for egg – protein-rich, formerly a food on common plates, but now a permanent resident on the exclusive menu for executive plates. Fufu is the long-lasting starchy staple famous among the masses on 0-0-1 unsquared meal, enduring in the stomach from a.m. to p.m.

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Fufeyin is the new opium for the brainless. It’s an unhygienic food combination that leads to acidic farts and watery gastronomic leaks. Fufeyin is a metaphor for moral rot – a symbolic dish served hot by deceivers to the devoutly daft. It’s the burnt offering rejected by God, but guzzled by the gullible, eyes shut, wallets open. The ‘fufu’ in Fufeyin symbolises a poverty background, the ‘eyin’ in it symbolises craze for wealth. Fufeyin is evil. Fufeyin is a meal made for the ignorant and the stupid by an irritating chef who doesn’t know how to light a stove.

Can we spare 60 seconds to talk about brains, please? It could be less. Let’s place a grown man on a spot marked ‘A’ and place an ant on a spot marked ‘B’. In the heads of the man and the ant, the brains are of different sizes. Having studied ants for more than five decades, the moniker, “Ant Man,” perches fittingly on the laurels of James Traniello, a professor of biology at Boston University. A 2023 publication, “BU’s ‘Ant Man’ studies Ant Brains,” published in Boston University’s digital research journal, The Brink, says Traniello’s work ‘raises questions about how both insect and mammalian brain sizes evolved and about the relationship between the size of the brain and how much energy it requires’.

In a 2020 publication in The Brink, “From Ant Brains, Seeking New Lessons about Human Behaviour and Society,” Traniello says, “Human brains weigh only about 3 pounds, but use about 20 per cent of our energy. Brains are also metabolically selfish, potentially capable of demanding energy dedicated to other organs.”

Science says an ant’s brain is remarkably large in proportion to its body size and sophisticated enough for navigation, swarm intelligence, efficiency, chemical communication, memory and colony coordination. The size of an ant’s brain is 0.01mm, which is 15 per cent of the body mass, with an estimated neuron count of 250,000.

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The human brain is about 2 per cent of total body mass, with an 86 billion neuron count and measuring 1,200 – 1,400 cm in size. The human brain has faculties for reasoning, language, memory, creativity, emotion and consciousness.

Traniello, whose research attracted a $1.5m grant, says, “Some types of ants even work together to cultivate and harvest mushrooms for food,” adding that, “Like humans, ants are known for their extraordinary collective intelligence. Cooperating groups are better at problem-solving than individuals in both human and ant societies.”

Although the human brain is far more complex than the ant’s brain, the actions of some people show that a human brain not put to proper use cannot compare with the brain of an ant. Indeed, the irritable way many Nigerians worship glaringly deceitful religious and political leaders, fawning over fake miracles and political promises, shows that an ant’s brain is far superior to some humans’ brains.

Probably the vacuity in humans was what King Solomon noticed when he offered that timeless piece of advice in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 6: verses 6-11: “6. Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! 7. It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8. yet it stores its provisions in summer, and gathers its food at harvest. 9. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—11
And poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.”

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The Jewish Virtual Library says Solomon became the King of Israel in approximately 967 B.C.E, that is 2,991 years ago, yet he talks about the ants ‘gathering its food at harvest’, and Professor Traniello, in a 2020 research corroborates King Solomon, saying, “Some types of ants even work together to cultivate and HARVEST mushrooms for food.”

Because I’m not as wise as King Solomon and because I live in the digital age, I’ll depart from the ant metaphor and go after the spider and its web. The spider web holds a fascination for me because of its intriguing comparability with digital technology. So, watch me as I step onto the spider’s intricate web, gingerly avoiding the pitfalls of sticky strands.

Ssshhh! Silence! I’m on the cobweb now, trying to get my balance; it’s bouncy and shaky here, like walking on the slippery terrain of Nigeria. Ha! God, abeg o. Can you believe what I’m seeing? Ha!? So, spiders too write graffiti? Ise eniyan ni ise eranko o – humans behave like animals. Or perhaps worse. Wow, how lovely the spider writes! Can I read out some of the graffiti? OK. Here we go. “While ants build colonies and spiders design cobwebs, humans flock to charlatans selling spiritual fufu and eggs.” Wow! Word!

I can see more graffiti on the wobbly cobwebs. I’ll read them: “Fufeyin and co are a curse on humanity.” “Fufeyin will perish soon.” “There are a million Fufeyins littering different altars in Nigeria.”

Ise eniyan ni ise eranko o – humans and animals behave alike. That’s why life, like a cobweb, is a delicate weave – spun from dreams, sweat, fears, and faith. Like life, the cobweb glistens at its peak, masking its trap in its fragile form, lurking for the next victim. Wise up, brethren; Fufeyin is the trap, stop falling mugun.

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

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