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OPINION: Abacha Protests In Heaven, Begs To Return

Published

2 years ago

December 29, 2023

Tunde Odesola

With his flaming sword, Angel Michael fled towards Heaven’s Gate – from the Gate of Paradise, where he was stationed. The angel had got wind of an untoward noise at Heaven’s Gate located far outside Paradise. As he spread his wings and rode the clouds en route to Heaven’s Gate, he thought about the strange noise. He couldn’t hazard a guess for the unprecedented noise but he sped towards it, all the same, because he needed to see things for himself – as the Captain of the heavenly hosts. All the 12 gates of heaven are under his charge.

The archangel screeched to a halt as he came in sight of Heaven’s Gate, also known as the Pearly Gates. There it was, smack in front of the Gate, a chariot made of hard currencies – pounds, euros, dollars, yuan, yen, cryptocurrency, but no naira. The chariot was also loaded to the brim with the rarest gemstones such that its lone occupant only sat on one side of his buttocks.

Angel Michael was livid with rage. “What won’t these lousy creatures called humans do?” he muttered, wondering, “Does this one think he can bribe his way into Paradise?” Angel Michael was quick to anger; he unsheathed his flaming sword, and aimed a swing at the neck of the occupant, who leapt out like a cat on hot stones, shouting, “Haba Allah! Haba Allah! Haba Allah!”

The occupant landed on the floor, rattling the chariot and spilling some gems that dazzled blindingly. He remained on the floor for a few seconds, panting, blinking, sucking air into his lungs. When he straightened himself up, he was not up to five feet. On his head was a green helmet. Jackboots encased his feet. He had a pistol in the holster of his military uniform. The nametag on his military uniform read Sanni Abacha.

Sanni Abacha: (Still shaking) Angel Michael, I do not mean to assault the sensibilities of Heaven with my showiness. I’m constrained to carry these earthly acquisitions with me everywhere because the ones I sent earlier to Nigeria were all embezzled. As the father of Nigeria, who art in heaven, I send millions of hard currencies to my people from time to time, knowing full well the economic hardship they face. But as it was in the beginning, so as the looting continued and probably will be so forevermore.

Angel Michael: You don’t belong here! You know where you should be; why did you come along this way!?

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Sanni Abacha: I came to protest, sir!

Angel Michael: Protest?

Sanni Abacha: Yes, protest, sir! I came to protest why my days were not long on earth. I came to protest why other commanders-in-thief are not vehemently criticised for corruption. Why me? Why only me? If I didn’t die, would Nigeria criticise me? Is my predecessor, Ibrahim Babangida, not enjoying in Nigeria despite all the atrocities he committed? What about my successors, are any of them a saint? If I was alive, I would’ve been deified, not demonised. I would’ve been attending the Council of State meetings. I surely would’ve emerged as civilian President. My son would’ve emerged as Kano governor. My wife would’ve been in the Senate. My daughters would’ve lived inside the presidential jets. I would’ve been the Jagaban.

Angel Michael: You’re polluting the sacredness of this realm, Son of Adam Now, go back to the special lake prepared for you.

Sanni Abacha: Two things before I go, Holy Michael. Why kill me and leave other commanders-in-thief? We are all the same…

Angel Michael: (Cuts in) I have no control over how many days you spend on earth. That belongs to the Creator. But I know your days on earth were spent in blind acquisition of wealth and bloodshed – and that quickened your recall.

Sanni Abacha: That’s what I’m saying! Stereotype! Name-calling! Victimisation! I just don’t understand the grand conspiracy against me! I don’t know why I’m being singled out. Angel Michael, sir, you have the power to view the local and foreign bank accounts of living Nigerian leaders in a jiffy; can you do so, Angel Michael? Please, do so and let’s see.

Angel Michael: Wait, let me see.

Sanni Abacha: Thank you, Holy Angel. Check every leader’s accounts, local, foreign, hidden vaults, girlfriends’ and concubines’ accounts, and children’s accounts. Please, search everyone’s accounts – governors, ministers, senators, reps, house of assembly, council chairmen, everyone.

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Angel Michael: (Wipes his face with his palms as he views a large screen invisible to Abacha)

Sanni Abacha: You wipe your face with your palms, Angel Michael? Do you see what I’m saying? What I stole isn’t up to what others have stolen. Nigeria is a whale washed ashore, a few men in power cannot exhaust it. Mark you, sir, there are many more whales in the Nigerian ocean.

Angel Michael: (Continues to view the figures on his screen) I think I need a pair of glasses!

Sanni Abacha: You see! You see! It’s only Abacha that stole!! Abacha’s the only rogue!

Angel Michael: What about the killings and repressions you carried out?

Sanni Abacha: How many people did I kill compared to the number of people sent to their early graves as a result of terrorism, kidnapping, banditry, road accidents, ill-equipped hospitals, depression – all occasioned by corruption? Who has killed more? Nigeria had adequate security in my time. I controlled inflation. I died at 54 years of age, they have been ruling Nigeria forever. I increased Nigeria’s foreign exchange reserves from $494 million in 1993 to $9.6 billion in 1997. I reduced Nigeria’s external debt from $36 billion to $27 billion. I reduced the 54% inflation rate I inherited to 8.5% with oil selling for $15 per barrel on the average. I never travelled abroad.

Angel Michael: This is not a campaign ground, little man!

Sanni Abacha: I’m not campaigning, Captain of Heaven’s Army.

Angel Michael: So, keep quiet while I check more accounts and properties… (More lines appear on the angel’s forehead. He spiritually produces a pair of glasses and a large towel to wipe his face.)

Sanni Abacha: (Talking silently to himself) Nigeria kwaruption don wear glasses for Angel Michael. People complain about my wife and son; see what the wives and children of my colleagues are doing today? Nigerians scorn me when they should crown me. Death is not fair to me. In ba mutuwa bane, ba wanda zai fi ni mutunci a kasan na.

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Angel Michael: Check completed.

Sanni Abacha: (Excited) Yes, what did you see, Holy One?

Angel Michael: This is not VAR. No human eye can see the result on this screen.

Sanni Abacha: Please, tell me your findings.

Angel Michael: No!

Sanni Abacha: Is there no democracy in heaven? No fairness? No freedom of information?

Angel Michael: See who’s talking about democracy, fairness and freedom of information? What did you and Babangida do to June 12? Did you not kill Ken Saro-Wiwa and other Ogoni leaders? Did you not kill Kudirat Abiola? What did you do to Pa Alfred Rewane? Baba Abraham Adesanya? Journalists, activists and labour leaders?

Sanni Abacha: Angel Michael, is it not written that God appoints? The people you mentioned did not want to give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. So, they had to be taken care of by Sergeant Rogers.

Angel Michael: Just as you were taken care of. I’ll forward my findings to the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He’s the One to determine what to do with those troubling and looting Nigeria.

Sanni Abacha: Send me back to Nigeria, I plead; I’ll fix Nigeria in four years, no second term.

Angel Michael: It’s appointed for man to die once, and after death comes judgment. Like Pharaoh, you shut your mind to reason. Your judgment is nigh.

Sanni Abacha: Babangida shunned appearing before the Oputa panel. Nothing happened. Obasanjo was a coward who couldn’t bring Babangida to justice for eight years. Yet, Obasanjo would describe himself as an anti-corruption champion. How many millions of dollars went down the drain of power supply during Obasanjo’s time? What about his privatisation policy? He shows off with the EFCC. EFCC my foot!

Angel Michael: Time to return to your lake, little man.

Sanni Abacha: Let me finish, Holy Angel. President Goodluck Jonathan closed his eyes to the atrocities of those before him. While campaigning, President Muhammadu Buhari described Jonathan as a thief but when he assumed power, Jonathan became an angel. President Bola Tinubu is trying former CBN governor, Godwin Emefiele, who was doing the bidding of Buhari, the most inept President in the history of mankind. Buhari is free, but Emefiele is not. Nigeria needs me now, Angel Michael, please, let me go back. No nation grows with selective justice.

Angel Michael: Yes, you must go back to your lake right now! Others are coming to join you soon. Go, I command!

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

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News

Seadogs Champions Social Justice Through Inaugural Art Exhibition In Owerri

Published

2 hours ago

August 3, 2025

Editor

In a fusion of creativity and conscience, the National Association of Seadogs (Pyrates Confraternity) has reaffirmed its dedication to social justice by launching its maiden art exhibition, Art Ova Yap, in Owerri, Imo State.

Held as part of the association’s 49th National Konverge and Annual General Meeting, the exhibition showcased powerful visual narratives crafted by talented members of the Confraternity—many of them professional artists—who used their work to spotlight issues of governance, inequality, and societal transformation.

NAS Cap’n (International President), Dr. Joseph Oteri, described the exhibition as more than a celebration of talent.

According to him, it was a deliberate act of advocacy rooted in the association’s founding principles of justice, equity, and service to humanity.

“Art Ova Yap is not just about aesthetics. It is our response to the urgent need for platforms that amplify marginalised voices and foster dialogue around issues that affect everyday Nigerians,” Oteri said.

“Our mission is to inspire understanding, empathy, and action—art is our vehicle for that change.”

The exhibition, he noted, aims to encourage public engagement on the role of artists in shaping public policy and challenging societal injustices.

He also announced that proceeds from the event would go towards supporting families of deceased NAS members, and that plans were underway to institutionalise Art Ova Yap as a permanent fixture in the association’s calendar.

Chief Programme Officer, Chief Bart Akelemor, said the Pyrates Confraternity has always positioned itself as a moral compass in the Nigerian civic space, often using unconventional tools to drive critical conversations. Art, he said, is now one of its newest instruments.

“Our founding fathers envisioned a society built on fairness, knowledge, and service.

“This exhibition is a continuation of that vision—where creativity becomes a channel for social justice, national development, and equitable access to opportunities,” Akelemor explained.

Also speaking at the event, Prof Adesoji Adesugba, a key supporter of the initiative and former Managing Director of the Nigeria Export Processing Zones Authority, highlighted the Confraternity’s deep-rooted affinity with cultural expression.

Tracing the origins of NAS to its founding in 1952 at the University of Ibadan, he said the Confraternity has always employed art, music, drama, and literature as tools for social critique and civic enlightenment.

“Art Ova Yap is a visionary platform that will help engage Nigeria’s youth through artistic expression.

“Beyond this inaugural event, we are introducing an artist-in-residence programme that will mentor young talents and culminate in an annual competitive showcase,” he said.

The exhibition was officially declared open by Dr. Asani Omozuwa on behalf of the Chairman of the Tortugarde-In-Council and NAS Board of Trustees, Prof Olatunde Makunju.

Omozuwa praised the vision and depth of the works on display, especially those honouring the late artist Olugbohun Ajayi, to whom the exhibition was dedicated.

In a goodwill message, Elder Tim Akpareva, member of the NAS Board of Trustees, said Art Ova Yap embodies the group’s core philosophy of “action over rhetoric” and represents NAS’s role as both cultural custodian and social advocate.

Featured artists included International Sculptor of repute Prof.

Tunde Waritmi; Editorial cartoon legend Ebun Aleshinloye; Editorial Cartoon veteran and painter, Chuks Onwudinjo; Contemporary Uli art form exponent and curator of the exhibition, Chuma Anagbado; co-curator and collage innovator Emeka Ihejirika; and rising star Chikezie Obilor.

As the exhibition concluded, it was clear that Art Ova Yap was more than a showcase—it was a movement.

A movement where brushstrokes meet bold ideas, and where the canvas becomes a battleground for justice, equity, and societal rebirth.

News

UNICEF, U-Report Build Capacity Of Youth Advocates On Child-Friendly Budgeting

Published

2 hours ago

August 3, 2025

Editor

The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), Bauchi Field Office, and U-Report has embarked on a one-day capacity building training of youth advocates in Bauchi State on the budget process and its impact on child development.

The training focused on advocating for increased investment in child-friendly sectors through improved and adequate budgeting.

The one-day engagement brought together 25 U-Reporters from across the state.

It could be recalled that U-Report is UNICEF’s global platform that empowers young people to speak out on issues that matter to them, access trusted information, and drive positive change in their communities.

It operates in over 90 countries using digital technology and real-time insights to influence policies and decision-making.

Speaking at the event, Mr Abubakar Usman, a representative from the Bauchi State Ministry of Budget, Economic Planning, and Multilateral Coordination, highlighted the importance of public understanding and participation in the budgeting process.

According to him the budget belongs to the people and the youth must understand how it works so they could advocate for the right priorities, especially those affecting children.

He added that the ministry encourages feedback and public contributions to ensure the budget reflects the needs of all, especially vulnerable groups.

Also speaking, Mrs Sophie Safratu-Bako, a resource person at the training, described the budget as a financial plan that outlines government revenue and expenditure for a fiscal year.

She emphasized its role in promoting equitable development across key sectors such as education, health, infrastructure, and security.

“Budgeting is not just about numbers—it is about people and priorities,” she said. “Young people have the power to influence policies. Your voices can ensure child-focused priorities are reflected in public spending.”

Earlier Mr Opeyemi Olaguju, Communications Officer, UNICEF Bauchi Field Office, said it was high time the youth advocated for the need to hold leaders accountable and ensure children’s needs were prioritized in public budgets.

“Young advocates must champion good governance and demand increased investment in sectors that directly affect their lives and futures,” he urged.

The engagement aimed to equip youth with the knowledge and tools needed to analyze budgets, engage in advocacy, and participate meaningfully in governance processes for a better and more inclusive future.

News

7 Essential Blood Tests Every Adult Should Take Regularly

Published

6 hours ago

August 3, 2025

Editor

Many diseases don’t show clear symptoms until it’s too late. That’s why routine health checks, especially blood tests, are important. They help catch silent problems early so you can treat them before they get serious.

There are specific blood tests every adult should take, even if you feel perfectly healthy. In this article are blood tests adults need, and what they reveal about your body.

1. Complete Blood Count (CBC)

The CBC test checks your red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. It helps detect things like anemia (low red blood cells), infections, and immune system issues.

2. Fasting Blood Sugar Test (Glucose Test)

This test measures the amount of sugar in your blood. It helps detect prediabetes and Type 2 diabetes. High blood sugar can silently damage your nerves, eyes, and kidneys without you noticing.

3. Lipid Panel (Cholesterol Test)

This test checks your LDL (bad cholesterol), HDL (good cholesterol), and Triglycerides. High cholesterol increases your risk of heart disease and stroke.

4. Liver Function Test (LFT)
The liver helps filter toxins from your blood. This test checks for hepatitis, fatty liver disease, and liver damage from alcohol or medication.

5. Kidney Function Test (Creatinine and BUN Test)

Your kidneys clean your blood. This test helps detect chronic kidney disease, kidney infections, and kidney failure risks

6. Thyroid Test (TSH, T3, T4)

Your thyroid controls your metabolism, weight, mood, and energy. This test detects hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) and hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid)

7. Vitamin D and B12 Tests

These tests check your nutrient levels. Low Vitamin D can cause bone weakness. Low Vitamin B12 can cause tiredness, nerve problems, and memory issues.

Don’t wait for symptoms before you get tested. Your health is your greatest asset, and blood tests are one of the smartest, simplest ways to protect it.
(TRIBUNE)