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OPINION : Awujale’s Burial And Aso Rock’s Graveyard Politics

Why should I bother myself with what is done to my body when I die? Oyomesi (the council of seven high-ranking chiefs in the Oyo Empire) knows what to do with my body!” That was what immediate past Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi 111, told me in his palace, a few weeks before he journeyed to Ibara – where Oyo buries its kings. He was furious with Ogun State traditional rulers. His grouse was with the Obas and Chiefs Law of 2021. That law has aberrant stipulations that are repugnant to tradition and customs. One of them is the provision stipulating that traditional rulers can be buried according to their religious dispositions. The Awujale of Ijebuland, Oba Sikiru Adetona, who recently passed, initiated it. The bill sought to make “a law to provide for the Preservation, Protection and Exercise by Traditional Rulers of their fundamental rights to be installed and buried according to their religions or beliefs and for other related matters.” In 2022, Governor Dapo Abiodun became the pall-bearer of this sacred, even if mythical, ritual of traditional burial of kings transmitted from our forebears.
To fortify institutions and systems that they revered, our forebears curated a number of taboos, myths, wise-sayings and social mores which served to make them distinct in everyday relations. An ancient saying that explains the secrecy of their kings’ burial is, “it is a taboo (èèwò) to bury the initiate the same way you bury a non-initiate.” It is one of Yoruba’s ancient aphorisms which escaped into the modern time. Though modernity has afforded us opportunity to see those inherited myths as mere decorative palm fronds (màrìwò) on a masquerade, they are the pillars upon which Yoruba traditional institution stands.
On Tuesday last week, as I stepped into the Obafemi Awolowo Auditorium of the Federal University of Technology, Akure (FUTA) Ondo State, I was confronted with two choices. Before me were traditional rulers of immense renown. They gúnwà-ed (pardon my inflection for their royal sitting) in their ancient majesties. The Olowo of Owo and Chairman of the State Council of Traditional Rulers, Oba Ajibade Gbadegesin, Ogunoye III, was there. He reminded me of one of his mythical predecessors, Sir Olateru Olagbegi, KBE. The Deji of Akure, Oba Aladetoyinbo Ogunlade Aladelusi, whose stool parades lustering pedigree of great kings like the British-trained lawyer, 42nd Deji, Oba Ademuwagun Adesida, was there. The king of my village, Ilu Abo, and former Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Oba Olu Falae, was there. And many others. They were all gathered for the 10th coronation anniversary colloquium of the Deji. The topic for discussion was, “Role of Nigeria’s Traditional Institutions in Nation Building: Impediments and Prospects” and I was one of its three discussants. The options before me were binary: Give the Kabiyesis the platitudes they were used to, or tell them the absolute truth they needed to know? I chose the latter.
So, I began. The traditional institution parades a great pedigree. Today, however, the traditional institution is at its lowest ebb. Seldom regarded, kings would seem to have lost their relevance and sacredness. Entrance into the institution has been generally bastardized. Money dictates who becomes king and in the process, illegitimates and dregs of society get smuggled into the system. An Oba is known to smoke marijuana. The bulk of them are land-grabbers who make money from the tears of their people. We now have kings who are ignorant about the customs of their people. I once heard a thoroughly confused Oba introduce himself as “Oba Assistant Pastor” on television. The most annoying part of it is the ease with which they repudiate the customs and myths surrounding their offices. The latest is the funeral of the late Awujale of Ijebuland. A few days ago, Kabiyesi, one of the most revered monarchs of Yorubaland, was buried like an ordinary mortal and soldiers prevented traditionalists from having a hand in his burial. As I spoke, there was pin-drop silence. While many felt I was audacious in the presence of the Irunmole, some agreed that our fathers needed to hear the gospel truth. “The traditional institution must redeem itself if it wants to be taken seriously,” I concluded.
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In an interview Oba Adetona granted before his death, he cavalierly disdained the traditional institution. A valiant man who stood staunchly against General Sani Abacha, in that interview, Awujale exposed virtually all the sacred innards of Yoruba kingship. For instance, the cult of secrecy preceding installation of Yoruba kings got massively shellacked by the Awujale. “What we did in seclusion is nothing secret. We were just there making merry and enjoying ourselves while relatives, friends and other well-wishers come around to visit and rejoice with the king. What is the fortification they are talking about? …Where were the traditionalists you talk about then? And what rites are you referring to? I cannot recall any rite that was done behind the scene. Let them come and tell me. It is all lies. Nothing like that. They even tell you that they give the heart of a deceased Oba to the new one to eat! They are crazy…I didn’t eat anything oooo. So, no such thing happened,” he said.
This was the very first time I would see a Yoruba king expose and explode the myths of the centuries-old traditional institution. By their very definition, myths are lies. You will find many of Yoruba ancient myths in German editor, scholar and writer, Ulli Beier’s book with the title, Yoruba Myths (1980). Andrew Apter of the Yale University, in his journal article entitled, “The Historiography of Yoruba Myth and Ritual” History in Africa, Vol. 14 (1987), pp. 1-25, said of it, “Myth is… a false reflection of the past” or a “testimony of the past in oral societies”.
Several other myths were curated to fortify their kingship system. Yoruba needed to differentiate their kings from ordinary mortals. Their aim was to invoke dread, respect and an eternal relevance for the system. One is that, kings’ heads are not to be seen by ordinary mortals. The rationale is that, if every Tom, Dick and Harry sees and touches their kings’ heads, it deconstructs them and the overall system. Again, in the process of carving immortality for their kings, Yoruba compare them to the gods, “igbá kejì òrìsà” and say their kings do not die. So, if they don’t die, a taboo was then needed to literally demonize sighting the corpse of an Oba. Like Christians did to mythologize their founding patriarch, Jesus Christ, the Yoruba also created and surrounded their kings with myths. It is a taboo, for instance, to say an Oba dies but appropriate to use the euphemism, “Oba w’àjà” – he ascended up through the rafters. Obas’ exits are not announced like mortals’ but with elements of sacredness and sobriety. As Christians are not allowed to query the non-empirical claim of their patriarch’s birth and anyone who does so is a social outcast or an atheist, the Yoruba do not take kindly to attempts to remove the ancient shawls surrounding their kings.
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Myths were essential to the ancient Yoruba people. Many of them are found in palaces. For instance, if you enter the palace of the Alaafin of Oyo today, you must remove your shoes, sandals and slippers. It is said that it is a taboo not to. No one has ever been let into the repercussions of dissension. Until recently, no one shook the hands of an Oba. Oba Lamidi Adeyemi was lucky. As he aged, providence, the designer of his visage, decorated his face with dread. You couldn’t look at Oba Adeyemi’s face without a dread running down your spine. You would assume you were looking at the frightening face of a lion. As close as I was to him, whenever I was in his presence, rather than his face, I looked at my feet.
All the above make attempt by traditional rulers in Ogun State, in concert with their governor and legislators, to commonize the burial of their kings, a cultural heresy. Some other parts of Yorubaland have also partaken of this despicable heresy. All Yoruba of goodwill must get Dapo Abiodun and his co-travelers on this journey to retrace their steps. It is a calamitous journey. Obas must go through the seclusion rites of Ipebi and must be buried according to the tradition they willingly subjected themselves to. It is called traditional rule, not modern rule. The burial of Oba Lipede, the Aláké Egbaland, some years ago, was going to end up a calamity but for a momentary recourse to reason. In Ogbomoso, the body of Soun, Oba Ajagungbade III, was subjected to a despicable act of public viewing. Ibadan people seem to have made this desecration of their Obas’ bodies an art. They did it with the bodies of two previous Olubadan who ‘w’àjà’-ed, Oba Saliu Adetunji and Oba Lekan Balogun. The two Obas’ bodies were carted round and about like skinned goats from the abattoir. The greatest calamity would have befallen Yorubaland when Aláàfin Adeyemi ‘w’àjà’-ed and Islamicists attempted to bury him like an ordinary mortal. It took the firmness of Sango cult adherents to stop the drift. They instantly stopped the madness.
I have heard canvassers for the modernization of traditional institutions talk about the dynamism of culture. Yes, I agree, culture is not static and should not be resistant to change. However, as I said earlier, the glue that holds that institution in this age of modernity is the survival of those ancient myths. Without them, kings lose their differentiation from all of us. Come to think of it, why are so-called kings this cowardly that they are afraid of what becomes of their bodies which would be consumed by maggots anyway? Even an atheist, Dr. Tai Solarin, asked that his body parts should be given to medical students for anatomical studies.
At the Deji of Akure’s 10th coronation, the Olowo of Owo came to the rescue of the institution of his forefathers. He told anyone not ready to take the heat to steer clear of the kitchen.
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Still talking about burials, the passage of President Muhammadu Buhari has elicited diverse comments. To start with, I do not agree that when a person dies, regardless of the evils they commit while on earth, they should be sacralized. I began canvassing my opposition to this view, said to have been inherited from our past, long time ago. For eight good years of Buhari’s reign, I made my views of him available to all. The summary is that he was a disaster. In saner societies, his kind should never come near the dais of responsible governance. Today, many Nigerians queue where I stand.
Last week, President Bola Tinubu harvested the proceeds of Buhari’s death. I enjoyed his graveyard politics and diplomatic burial shuttles to Daura and Kano last week, ostensibly in pursuit of the mythic 12 million CPC votes said to have been sequestered in the hands of Buhari. More importantly, I hope Tinubu reckons with the lessons in his predecessor›s sudden death? One is that, you cannot sow tears and sorrow and expect a debased, pummeled and traumatized people to garland your corpse with deodorants as elegies. Apart from Tinubu and his graveyard politics crew, Nigerians literally pelted Buhari’s body with pellets at his departure.Tinubu should use this lesson to review his policies and find ways of making the rest of his life count in favour of the people. In the same vein, our traditional rulers should have a rethink. Most of them seem to have, by their conduct and proclamations, borrowing from the lesson from an ancient old anecdote, shown the fox that the crown on their cock›s head holds no fire. If we continue to label our beautiful calabash ‘pankara’, what South Africans call wanzagsi – a broken calabash – we should not be surprised if the ignorant elect to pack their dirt with it.
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I’ll Support Trump To Fight Terrorism In Nigeria If… – Wike

The Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Nyesom Wike, has said that he would support US President Donald Trump if he provides technology to combat terrorism in Nigeria.
Wike stated this on Monday while responding to questions in an interview on Politics Today, a programme on Channels Television monitored by DAILY POST.
His comment comes in the wake of the Christian genocide allegation in Nigeria made by Trump.
It will be recalled that Trump recently designated Nigeria as a “Country of Particular Concern” over the same allegation.
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The US President also said that he had asked the Defence Department to prepare for possible military action in Nigeria if the Nigerian government “continues to allow the killing of Christians”.
Responding, Wike said, “It is not enough for me to capitalise that people are dying in Plateau, Benue and other places.
“I have said that I will support Trump in providing and supporting Nigeria with technology in the fight against terrorism. I will also support any country that wants to proffer solutions in tackling terrorism in Nigeria.”
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OPINION: Trump’s Wrath Of Oedipus

By Lasisi Olagunju
Mr Donald Trump and his Generals are buckling their armour to wipe out terrorists who kill Christians in Nigeria. “I am hereby instructing our Department of War to prepare for possible action. If we attack, it will be fast, vicious, and sweet…” the American president tweeted yesterday. Nigerians who heard Trump probably wondered where he is going to start from. People abducting people, people killing people are everywhere in Nigeria: North-East, North-West, North-Central, the South – everywhere. The forests are deeply infested; the cities have them thick behind seedy walls. How do you kill terrorists in a terror territory without killing everyone?
I risk this question: Who is the real killer here?
What is killing Nigerian Christians, indeed, what is killing Nigerians of all faiths, is not just religion or religionists. The true assassin is the Nigerian structure; an abnormality sculpted with the cold chisel of Mr. Trump’s America and its complicit allies. As Tacitus once wrote of Rome, “They make a desert and call it peace.” Nigeria is a malformed republic calcified by those who pretend to defend it. The Nigerian structure empowers extremism and fetters the law. It enjoys the backing of the West.
Now, Trump says he is coming. Some saviours come to compound calamities. In Ola Rotimi’s ‘The Gods Are Not to Blame’, the Nigerian adaptation of Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex, Odewale is the celebrated liberator who becomes king. There is Baba Fakunle, the old, blind diviner of Kutuje. When the king, Odewale (the Oedipus figure), summons the seer to help identify the cause of the kingdom’s troubles, Baba Fakunle immediately sees the king himself as the source of the curse afflicting the land: “You are the murderer you seek”, the blind tells the king. He proceeds to even call him “bed sharer.” But the hot-tempered king thinks the prophet subversive, a coupist.
Tiresias in Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex, like Ola Rotimi’s Baba, is the blind who perceives what the sighted king cannot see. The blind reveals that the sickness of the city flows from King Oedipus himself. He is the murderer. Oedipus, who vows to cleanse Thebes, is the source of the plague and “pollution” of Thebes. Today’s world has Oedipuses; it has no Tiresias. The truth bearer exists neither in America and its allies nor in their viceroys, defenders of peace who switch off rights in search of freedom.
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Donald Trump described Nigeria as “a disgraced country.” It is surprising that Nigeria has had no word to reply to that insult. His threats are directed at the bad children in the forests of the north. There is not a whimper from the ACF and the Northern Elders Forum. Where is their usual courage? Where is the Federal Government? If I would be cynical, I wouid ask: Why not invoke our efficient Cybercrime Act to deal with this? In case the government missed the assault, it is there in Trump’s tweet on Truth Social:
“If the Nigerian Government continues to allow the killing of Christians, the U.S.A. will immediately stop all aid and assistance to Nigeria, and may very well go into that now disgraced country, ‘guns-a-blazing,’ to completely wipe out the Islamic Terrorists who are committing these horrible atrocities. I am hereby instructing our Department of War to prepare for possible action. If we attack, it will be fast, vicious, and sweet, just like the terrorist thugs attack our CHERISHED Christians! WARNING: THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT BETTER MOVE FAST!”
America’s Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, with a “Yes sir” replied Trump with ‘automatic alacrity’. He said his boots were “preparing for action” on the soil of Nigeria. He posted on X:
“Yes sir. The killing of innocent Christians in Nigeria — and anywhere — must end immediately. The Department of War is preparing for action. Either the Nigerian Government protects Christians, or we will kill the Islamic Terrorists who are committing these horrible atrocities.”
Greek historian and Athenian General, Thucydides, underlined the causes of war: power, fear, and ambition. He warned that “the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.” Secretary Pete Hegseth’s words are a salute, and a promise of death wrapped in benevolence. He and his boss spoke as relievers of the besieged of Nigeria. We thank them for their interest. But where are they going to start from?
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“They can start from anywhere,” a voice replied me.
“Where is anywhere?”
It is cool to read Trump’s promise of reprieve; we’ve seen too much not to embrace any messiah who comes around. Too many have died with their blood calling for vengeance. But this Trump rain, if it ever falls, won’t fall on one roof. Oedipus comes into Thebes, kills their terror and for that is made king. Years later, the saviour’s coming becomes bad, mass death.
I read online many who are happy that Bola Tinubu’s government is facing fire from America. Some of these are even from the Muslim North. Ancient Romans would see this and intone: “Amicus meus, inimicus inimici mei” (my friend, the enemy of my enemy). Mathematical sociologists would dust up Frank Harary’s formalisation of the Balance Theory; they would trace their signed graphs, and point to Fritz Heider’s insight that a pair of friends with a common enemy forms a balanced triangle: A friend of my friend is my friend (+ × + × + = +). A friend of my enemy is my enemy (+ × – × – = +). An enemy of my enemy is my friend (– × – × + = +). Politics!
It is strange that a government that has conquered everyone is now being conquered from a strange angle. “History shows that there are no invincible armies and never have been” (Josef Stalin).
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I would have joined in the celebrations to welcome Trump but for the fact that history shows me the strong disguising ambition with the language of virtue; I hear the powerful invoking justice and faith while pursuing dominance. If I asked the Greek to use human history and experience to analyse Mr. Trump’s threat of a war to end all terrorist wars in Nigeria, Thucydides would likely have viewed Trump’s threat with cold, unsentimental realism. To him, the tough-talk would not be an act of moral outrage but a performance of power. He would see in Trump’s posture not compassion for the Nigerian victim of terror; the historian would see the timeless logic of empire: using other people’s tragedy to affirm strength and moral superiority.
As Thucydides might have put it, “War is not so much a matter of right as of necessity.” From history to literature, we find that those who claim to fight for justice are often merely fighting for influence. In the eyes of experience, America’s preparation “for action” would be less about saving faith, limbs and lives; it will be more about staging yet another play in the endless drama of power.
So, I ask: Is the noise from the US truly targetted at the Nigerian Wall of Jericho? We wait to see.
We are a complicated country with complex problems. If Trump kills all today’s terrorists tomorrow, how about the next generation of killers that will come out the day after? The hatchery is not tired of making them.
So, where is the way? Donald Trump’s message of war? It cannot be the way. One thing is certain, this crisis and the response to it echo a tragic pattern: leaders are chasing false targets; messiahs will end up as wrathful Oedipuses whose presence will poison the land. These healers, they will spread plague.
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OPINION: Saluting Our Permanent Patriarchs

By Lasisi Olagunju
Respect old age. A “strictly by invitation” conclave of Yoruba cardinals sat for two days last week, not in the traditional capital, Ibadan, but in aged Akure, Ondo State. They took the masquerade to the eastern ancestral grove and had it costumed there. If your masquerade was not there, it is because your buttocks were deemed too small for the gilded stools there. And by not being there, you just missed balls of àkàrà made specially in frying pans of honey. The cardinals sat and chose for the whole race and decreed that “we must speak with one voice.” Their Holinesses danced to African pop singer, Angélique Kidjo’s ‘Agolo’ in their own sacred way and ordered that the waist-beads of their Olajumoke must remain where it is. Who are we to say the mouth of the elder stinks? That is the judgment of age, the decree from the ancestors’ gavel. Coourt!
It is an African thing. Of what use is age if you can’t use it to dominate the youth? Àgbà kò níí tán l’órí ilè is a daily prayer in Yoruba land. It simply means “may elders not be extinct in our land.” What the Akure papacy wants is already being done in other parts of Africa. The results have been phenomenal. I am moving from Cameroon to Côte d’Ivoire, then Tanzania, and, then other places where age is prized far higher than rubies.
They say wisdom comes with age. If that is true, no matter how “disgraced” Donald Trump says we are, East and West, Nigeria has pearls of ancestral wisdom. To our immediate East, we have Paul Biya of Cameroon; a little far west, there is Alassane Ouattara of Côte d’Ivoire. They are the current champions. Our immediate western neighbour, Benin Republic, has just banned the main opposition candidate and his party from the next presidential poll. These and many more enjoy the nod of the lords who created these countries.
I have ‘data’ people, young persons around me. They flirt into my fort and speak grammar and literature. First, they talk “gerontocracy”; then I hear “heart-cutting paradox” of Africa being the world’s youngest continent by median age, “yet it is being governed by some of the oldest leaders on earth.” Talk is cheap. What do they know? What an elder sees while seated, a child in space can’t see.
Indeed, Africa, this moment, has the wisest gathering of aged priests of power ever assembled.
In the North, there sits Abdelmadjid Tebboune of Algeria (80), Abdel Fattah el-Sisi of Egypt (71), and Kais Saied of Tunisia (67 — just under seventy, but invested with self-made powers broad enough to last him till eternity).
In West Africa, the procession of patriarchs includes Bola Ahmed Tinubu of Nigeria (73), Joseph Boakai of Liberia (80), and Alassane Ouattara of Côte d’Ivoire (83). Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo of Ghana, now 81, bowed out, leaving the stage in January 2025 for his old rival, John Dramani Mahama, 66, to steer the ship once again.
In Central Africa, Mother Africa is still blessed with the grandest of elders: Paul Biya of Cameroon (92), Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea (83), and Denis Sassou-Nguesso of the Republic of the Congo (81).
In Eastern and Southern Africa, the grey reign continues: Yoweri Museveni of Uganda (81), Isaias Afwerki of Eritrea (79), Emmerson Mnangagwa of Zimbabwe (83), and Cyril Ramaphosa of South Africa (73). Hage Geingob of Namibia passed away on 4 February 2024 at the age of 82. He was succeeded by 84-year-old Nangolo Mbumba, who served until the March 2025 election that brought Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah, 73, to power — the country’s first female president.
Farther east, Djibouti’s parliament has just erased the age barrier that once capped presidential ambition, clearing the path for 77-year-old Ismaïl Omar Guelleh to seek a sixth term in 2026. And on the Ethiopian plateau, President Taye Atske Selassie will turn 70 next year.
We respect and value age; that is why Africa remains forever at the top. We are the continent where wisdom and endurance sit enthroned in power.
President Alassane Ouattara of Côte d’Ivoire is 83. He has just clinched a fourth term with the ease of a man ordering breakfast. Cast your gaze eastward to Cameroon, 92-year-old Paul Biya is there. BBC last week described him as “the leader who never loses.” He has kindly agreed to remain in office after only 43 years of national service – or should I simply call his reign ‘uninterrupted power supply’? Forty-three years in some democracies would be called eternity; here in Africa, from the Mediterranean to the Cape of Good Hope, it is continuity.
Nigeria has so much to learn especially from Cameroon where grey hair rules completely and totally. Cameroon has a council of elders whose word is law. I searched the World Wide Web, asking the oracle for the secret of that country’s success. It is the bent gait of the leaders and the age of their ideas. It is difficult to believe, but it is true, the elders list is real: To President Biya’s right is the President of the Constitutional Council, Clément Atangana; he is 84 years old. Atangana it was who oversaw the recent election and announced the results that are being celebrated with stones and bullets in the streets of the country. There is also René Claude Meka, the 86-year-old Chief of Defence Staff. He guards the guards in the name of democracy. The president of the senate is Marcel Niat Njifenji, 91 years old. With Cavayé Yéguié Djibril, the 85-year-old Speaker of the National Assembly, Njifenji sees that laws are made for the good governance of the republic. They make laws, and when they finish minting the laws, they pass them to 83-year-old Laurent Esso, the indefatigable Minister of Justice. He executes the law and its convicts. The job of this council of elders is to keep the grandfather in power and tell the young to wait for their time.
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We have done well with democracy in Africa. It is no longer about freedom and welfare, and good living and life more abundant. It is about endurance – like dull, painful sex.
Latecomer Nigeria does not (yet) have its own official elders council as Cameroon. It should quietly be taking notes; that is what the wise do. We should envy Cameroon; Cameroon deserves our envy.
In Bénin, the constitutional court on 27 October, 2025, ruled to exclude the principal opposition party, Les Démocrates, from participating in the upcoming 2026 presidential election. The coast is clear for democracy in that country and for the incumbent. In East Africa, Tanzania’s presidential election was held on Wednesday last week. But the gods of polls had cracked the palm kernel of victory for the incumbent before the election day. President Samia Suluhu Hassan stood (and stands) on terra firma. She won before winning. Her opponents, candidates of the two primary opposition parties, were removed from the ballot by the gods of democracy. Their supporters are outside, burning tyres and getting buried.
Nigeria will do better than Benin and Tanzania. If those ones had appreciated better intelligence, they would not run into the quicksand of protests harrying their hills. Instead of shutting the gate against opponents and running against themselves, how about those opposition candidates simply defecting into the ruling party? If you check the physics of politics, you will understand why politicians are ferromagnetic beings; they respond to the magnet of money and power. In Nigeria, nobody will be disqualified in the next elections. The magnet in the ruling party sucks them into the vortex of power, and that ends it. Never mind what an Abuja court said on defection last Friday. The defected should forfeit their seats. Who does that? The higher courts will correct the abnormal orders.
Yoruba ancestors are great scientists. There is this Yoruba spell that pulls whoever it wants into its bossom:
Gerere,
Àwọ̀n maa wo won bo,
Gerere…
(Swiftly/ Net, drag them here/ Swiftly).
People of depth who massed in Akure last week know how this magnetic net is woven. It works in Yoruba’s Lagos – it is working in Nigeria. The Tanzanian lady should have come to learn here.
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I read online about children of protest dreaming of Tanzania in Nigeria. No. It won’t happen. Where is the main opposition party, the PDP? By the time we reach 2027, no opposition contraption will be well enough to stagger out of the ICU. After that feat, we will move to the next. What is next? Third term?
‘Third term’ is scandalous; we don’t want that chain for the neck of our Olajumoke. The respectable career goal is to be so good as to be begged to become king.
Let the children of anger keep punching their tired tabs and overused phones. Someone told me that when they finally look up from those chinko phones and ask, “Who’s that old man on the ballot again?” the answer will definitely be: “The same man you voted for when you were in primary school.”
Africa is proof that democracy is tired of term limits. The British blessed us with permanent secretaries; why not bless ourselves with permanent councils of elders complete with a permanent presidency. Imagine the elegance in that alliteration: “permanent presidency.” Pulsating.
Even in America where we copied this democracy nonsense, they are already building a throne for their king and sewing very regal royal robes. They have a king.
I read Thomas E. Cronin’s ‘On the Origins and Invention of the Presidency’ and laughed at the folly in the wisdom of the past. Cronin, by “presidency” meant American presidency.” He wrote: “In 1787 fifty-five of America’s best educated and most experienced men assembled in Philadelphia. Their average age was 42, most were lawyers or businessmen. Two-thirds had served in the Congress at one time or another; nearly twenty had served in the Continental army. Seven had been governors in their states. It was a convention of the well-bred, well-fed, well-read and well-wed.” These were the people, the 55 wise men who invented America’s presidential democracy, the one we copied like that poor student who Rank-xeroxed his mate’s exam script, name, matric number, all.
The mandate of the American wise men, according to Cronin, was “to devise an executive office that would also be effective and safe; strong enough to command respect, to help maintain order, to help conduct effective diplomatic affairs, to provide for more efficient administration, yet not so strong as to threaten civil liberties, or in any way aggrandize power contrary to the welfare of the general public.” They did what they had to do and for 229 years, they thought they got it right. They were wrong. Trump, holding Muhammadu Buhari’s toothpick, is at this moment, laughing at their wisdom.
A permanent presidency – a king – is being considered by those around America’s Trump. Or where were you last week when former White House chief strategist, Stephen Bannon, told The Economist that President Donald Trump would serve a third term? Stephen Bannon described a third term for Trump as essential to the nation’s future, a “vehicle of divine providence”, an “instrument of divine will” and “the will of the American people.” We were very unfair to President Olusegun Obasanjo, a successful third term for him would have been a valuable part of contemporary America’s literature review.
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This is the age of the aged. We should tell William Shakespeare that he lied; that the poet lied in his claim that “All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,…”
Shakespeare says the drama of life always comes to an end for actors and for spectators. It is not so in Africa. Go to Togo, don’t they have Faure Gnassingbé there after Gnassingbé Eyadéma? Gnassingbé served as the president of Togo from 1967 until his death in 2005. Gnassingbé Eyadéma’s son, Faure, filled what would have been a gap immediately and has led Togo since then. What else is the meaning of immortality?
Nigeria can improve on this. One man can be president; his son governor; his brother minister; his grandchildren commissioners.
The president can even combine all those posts and positions if he wants. It will be answered prayers.
This is a satire, but sometimes words fail the satirist and his satire. Satire itself is a dangerous thing because sometimes it stops being seen for what it is. But on this, I double down and hiss on reason and good judgment. This is the age of wisdom, I cling to the tail of the elephant of the aged, he alone can take us up the mountain before us.
In ‘As You Like It’, Shakespeare’s Jaques delivers the locus classicus on the seven ages of man. Life, Shakespeare’s character says, unfolds in seven acts; he calls them “ages”. First comes the helpless infant, “mewling and puking” and crying in a nurse’s arms; then the reluctant schoolboy, weeping and creeping to class with a shining face. Next, the lover, scribbling and sighing over verses, love poems, to his beloved; followed by the fiery soldier, proud, quick to quarrel, chasing fleeting glory: “A soldier, / Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard, / Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, / Seeking the bubble reputation /Even in the cannon’s mouth.” Then appears the wise judge, full of proverbs and dignity, his form rounded by comfort. Then age steals in, turning him into a thin, slippered old man, his once-bold voice now trembling and shrill. At last, the curtain falls on all, a return to infancy, “second childishness” and forgetfulness, bereft of sight, sound, taste, and self:
“Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”
For all enemies of age, I render, in modern English, the last stage in the passage above, Act II, Scene VII:
“The final stage of life
that ends this strange and eventful journey
is a return to childishness and complete forgetfulness;
without teeth, without eyes, without taste, without anything at all.”
The Shakespearean last stage is the age of nothing and nothingness. That is the age of our leaders. In nothing, nothing is bad. We love our own old age, we want it as long as it is Idi Bebere, the voluptuous, supple waist of Olajumoke.
										
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