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OPINION: I Will Make You Disappear!

Published

2 years ago

November 1, 2024

Tunde Odesola

To speak tongue-in-cheek is to say, “Na Baba kill Dele Giwa.” But to speak matter-of-factly is to say, “Dele Giwa was killed in his ‘gida’”. ‘Gida’ is a Hausa word for house. If you like, add ‘gida’ to Baba, na you sabi.

It was a Sunday morning, almost 38 years ago, when a faceless porter of death delivered a letter bomb at the Ikeja house of the Editor-in-Chief of Newswatch magazine, Dele Giwa.

The then-Director, National Intelligence Agency of Nigeria, Brigadier General Haliru Akilu, had reportedly called Giwa’s wife, Funmi, thrice on Saturday, and 45 minutes earlier before the delivered letter bomb went off on Sunday; Akilu, now 76, was asking for directions to Giwa’s house when he called Funmi.

Seated in his dining room on the fateful Sunday morning, Giwa, who was having breakfast with a junior colleague, Kayode Soyinka, received the letter from his son, Billy, and seeing Nigeria’s coat of arms on the letter, said, “This must be from the President,” tearing open the letter, which tore his life apart.

Giwa’s death was more excruciating than death by firing squad because death didn’t come quickly, it was in instalments; he fought death, watching his intestines, flesh and blood splatter across the walls of his dining room like an undead cockroach struggling to move with a squashed abdomen.

In the valley of the shadow of death, the brave Giwa looked down at his shattered bowels and groin and said, “They have got me.” The dripping remains of the model journalist were lifted like a disembowelled roadkill, packed into a vehicle, and rushed to the hospital, where he gave up the ghost. What a death! What a life

On October 19, it would be exactly 38 years since Giwa was blown out of existence, leaving the nation reeling in horror, with Nigerians wondering what could the then-military President, General Ibrahim Babangida, Akilu and other top security chiefs, including the Deputy Director of SSS, retired Lt. Col. A.K. Togun, be hiding that made them repeatedly shun the Nigerian Human Rights Violations Investigations Commission headed by the late Justice Chukwudifu Oputa? May the killers of Dele Giwa forever be haunted.

Apart from pricking our national conscience and calling for the trial of Babangida, Akilu, Togun and co, my reference to Dele Giwa as a metaphor for dictatorship aims to illustrate the difference between speaking tongue-in-cheek and speaking matter-of-factly, though this column is not rivalling Akeem Lasisi’s PUNCH newspaper column, which teaches Use of English.

In this discourse, I elect to speak tongue-in-cheek because the topic is about a species of primates called the rhesus monkey. You know, monkeys don’t speak human language, though they are smart animals. However, monkeys read lips and understand human sounds, which they relate to. So, I’ll speak tongue-in-cheek, not matter-of-factly, and it will take only the deep to understand me.

Writing and painting are distinct forms of human expression. Since the advent of recorded history, the quill and the ink have explored human thought and distilled imagination in vivid portrayals. On the other hand, painting is the creative stroke of the brush dipped in colourful gloss and emulsion of communication, expressing plain and esoteric meanings.

Macaca Mulatta is the scientific name of the rhesus monkey. To get a striking picture of what the animal looks like, I beg you to google ‘rhesus monkey’ and see how closely it resembles Alexi, the new monkey in the state-of-the-art Abuja zoo commissioned a little over a year ago. Combining my written description and googling the picture of the rhesus monkey will clear all doubts about the looks and identity of Alexi.

Alexi is the latest addition to the growing list of animals attacking humans in Nigeria’s seat of power, Abuja. Alexi is an animal among humans. In ‘Beasts of No Nation’, maverick Afrobeats superstar, Fela Anikulapo, describes some leaders as animals in human skin.

Mulatta is the female version of mulatto. Both names refer to a person of mixed white and black ancestry. That the rhesus monkey is scientifically named Macaca mulatta may mean that this caste of primates is matriarchal. While most human communities are patriarchal, some are matriarchal, a pointer to the evolutionary interrelatedness among species in the Animal Kingdom, ìse ènìyàn ni ìse eranko.

Research shows that the rhesus monkey can be considered mixed-breed because of hybridisation between its Chinese and Indian subspecies. Over the years, however, the rhesus monkey has been admixed with many other species, which ostensibly include the African caste.

Humans and monkeys indeed have an enduring relationship. In 1948, Man put the rhesus monkey in a one-passenger rocket but the monkey died during the space flight. Not to make the monkey family hard done by, on June 14, 1949, Man put another rhesus monkey named Albert II, on a one-passenger space flight, becoming the first primate and first mammal in space.

I do not know if Alexi, the latest tyrannic monkey in Abuja, is related to Albert II or not. But I know Alexi doesn’t have half the brain of Albert II. Unlike Alexi, Albert II was certainly not an idiot. To fly a space rocket, Albert II couldn’t have been a conceited bully and hateful megalomaniac. The space flight Albert II successfully executed in 1949 and the disgraceful behaviour displayed by one of his great-grandsons, Alexi, in Abuja, show that, for Alexi, sawdust lies in the place where Albert II had brains.

Since time immemorial, Man has found the monkey a good ally in security provision and groundbreaking medical research, thereby permitting monkeys to live among humans.

One of the lucky monkeys privileged to live among humans is Alexi who operates in the Abuja zoo. Alexi, like humans, sleeps in bed, walks on two legs, drives cars and eats eggs. Because of the deeds of some of his forebears, including Albert II, Alexi was entrusted with a position in the Legislative Assembly.

One day, arrogance and ambition gripped Alexi as he looked in the mirror and noticed the striking resemblance he shared with Man. He smiled and said to himself, “Look at yourself, Alexi! Look at you! Who can ever know that you’re originally a monkey? Ol’ boy, it’s high time you transmuted fully into Man.”

He is so obsessed with vainglory and power that he thinks only about himself and feels he can get away with anything. One day, he conjured the spirit of Ìjímèrè, the forebear of all monkeys.

Ìjímèrè appeared in his hairy glory – an oblong head above a narrow chest, long slim hands, scratchy nails, slitty eyes, angular legs and a lipless mouth. Alexi told Ìjímèrè he wants to become human. Ìjímèrè rebuked Alexi for not being contented with his place in nature, warning that shame lay ahead of the journey the young monkey was about to embark on.

Alexi cried and begged Ìjímèrè to tell him the secret of how to turn into a human being. Ìjímèrè pleaded with his descendant but Alexi wouldn’t listen. So, Ìjímèrè told him what to do.

“Alexi, my descendant,” Ìjímèrè began, “I can see that self-conceit, overambition and power drunkenness are behind your wish to become human. You’re not doing it for the sake of the lineage. This is not the first time an enwe would attempt to become human. Each past attempt ended in disaster. Before I grant your wish, however, I will summon Lágídò, so that I can have a witness.”

Ìjímèrè recited some monkey chants and Lágídò appears. “You summon me, Great One,” said Lágídò, looking around and settling her eyes on Alexi.

“Yes, I did,” Ìjímèrè said, adding, “It’s one of our descendants,” pointing to Alexi, “Who wants to become human. I have tried to dissuade him from towing the path of destruction but he won’t listen. So, I want to grant him his wish by revealing to him the secret of how to become human. I only want you to be my witness.”

Ìjímèrè coughed deeply and continued, “Alexi, here are three taboos you must desist from – to become human. One, you must never touch snails. Two, you must never look down on Man. Three, you must be humble.”

“Is that all, Baba Ìjímèrè?” asked an anxious Alexi. “No, it remains one more thing,” Ìjímèrè said, “You must sit for three hours by your gate every night for seven days, wearing simple clothes, reciting the panegyrics of our lineage and doing deeds of kindness.”

“Yes, Baba,” Alexi scrambled to his feet from where he knelt and hurtled out without saying goodbye.

Lágídò said, “Doom looms ahead of the prideful and impatient fellow. The signs of ominous disaster are clear.”

On his seventh day at the gate, a short man bolted towards Alexi, holding a package in his hands, beckoning to Alexi. Alexi became livid with rage, “How dare you subhuman beckon to me? Can’t you come to me? Do you know who I am? Imagine this rat? I can make you disappear!”

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

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Xenophobic Attacks: Oshiomhole Tells FG To Retaliate Against South African Companies In Nigeria

Published

2 hours ago

May 5, 2026

Editor

Senator Adams Oshiomhole has called on the Federal Government to retaliate against South African businesses operating in Nigeria following the recent attacks on Nigerians in South Africa.

Speaking during plenary on Tuesday, Oshiomhole said the Federal Government should consider revoking the working license of South African owned companies such as MTN and DSTV.

He argued that Nigeria must respond firmly to what he described as persistent hostility against its citizens.

“I am not going to shed tears. If you hit me, I hit you. I think it is appropriate in diplomacy. It is an economic struggle,” Oshiomhole said.

He argued that while some South Africans accuse Nigerians of taking their jobs, Nigerians should return home and take over employment opportunities created by major South African companies operating in the country, including MTN and DSTV.

“When we hit back, the President of South Africa will not only talk but will also go on his knees to recognise that Nigeria cannot be intimidated.

“We will not condone any life being lost. If a crime has been committed under the South African law they have the right to bring any such person to justice, but to kill our people as if we are helpless, we will not allow that,” Oshiomhole added.

DAILY POST reports that several Nigerians in South Africa have reportedly been attacked, and their businesses destroyed, in ongoing xenophobic attacks in the country.

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IGP Orders Officers Display Name Tag On Uniform, Gives Update On State Police

Published

2 hours ago

May 5, 2026

Editor

The Inspector General of Police, IGP, Tunji Disu, has ordered all police personnel to always have their name tags on their uniforms for easy identification.

Disu disclosed that only police personnel who are undercover are exempted from displaying their name tags.

Speaking on Tuesday, Disu said: “All police officers should have their name tags. All of us on the high table have our names apart from the undercover among us so if you look at all the Commissioners of Police we have our name tags, so it’s not our standard.

News

Court Orders SERAP To Pay DSS Operatives N100m For Defamation

Published

7 hours ago

May 5, 2026

Editor

The High Court of the Federal Capital Territory has ordered a non-governmental organization, the Socio-Economic Rights and Accountability Project, SERAP, to pay N100 million as damaged to two operatives of the Department of the State Services, DSS, for unjustly defaming them in some publications.

The court also ordered SERAP to tender public apologies to the defamed officers,
Sarah John and Gabriel Ogundele, in two national newspapers, two television stations and its website.

Besides, the organization was also ordered to pay the two operatives N1 million as cost of litigation and 10 percent post-judgment interest annually on the judgment sum until it’s fully liquidated.

Justice Yusuf Halilu of the High Court of the Federal Capital Territory gave the order on Tuesday while delivering judgment in a N5.5 billion defamation suit instituted against SERAP by the DSS operatives.

The judge found SERAP liable for unjustly defaming the two DSS operatives with allegations that they unlawfully invaded its Abuja office, harassed and intimidated its staff, in September 2024.

In the offending publication on its website and Twitter handle, SERAP alleged that the two operatives unlawfully invaded and occupied its office with sinister motives.

The judge held that the publication was in bad taste especially from an organization established to promote transparency and accountability, as nothing in the publication was found to be truthful.

The DSS staff had listed SERAP as 1st defendant in the suit marked CV/4547/2024. SERAP’s Deputy Director, Kolawole Oluwadare, was listed as the 2nd defendant.

In the suit, the claimants – Sarah John and Gabriel Ogundele – accused the two defendants of making false claims that they invaded SERAP’s Abuja office on September 9, 2024..

Counsel to the DSS, Oluwagbemileke Samuel Kehinde, had while adopting his final address in the mater urged the judge to grant all the reliefs sought by his client in the interest of justice.

He admitted that although the names of the two claimants were not mentioned in the defamation materials, they had however established substantial circumstances that they are the ones referred to in the published defamation article by SERAP on its website.

The counsel submitted that all ingredients of defamation have been clearly established and the offending publication referred to the two officials of the secret police.

However, SERAP, through its counsel, Victoria Bassey from Tayo Oyetibo, SAN, law firm, asked the court to dismiss the suit on the ground that the two claimants did not establish that they were the ones referred to in the alleged defamation materials.

She said that SERAP used “DSS officials” in the alleged offending publication, adding that the two claimants must establish that they are the ones referred to before their case can succeed.

Similar arguments were canvassed by Oluwatosin Adefioye who stood for the second defendant, adding that there was no dispute in the September 9, 2024 operation of DSS in SERAP’s office.

He said that since SERAP in the publication did not name any particular person, the claimants must plead special circumstances that they were the ones referred to as the DSS officials.

Besides, he said that there is no organization by name Department of State Services in law, hence, DSS cannot claim being defamed adding that the only entity known to law is National Security Agency.

The claimants had in the suit stated that the alleged false claim by SERAP has negatively impacted on their reputation.

The DSS also stated, in the statement of claim, that, in line with the agency’s practice of engaging with officials of non-governmental organisations operating in the FCT to establish a relationship with their new leadership, it directed the two officials – John and Ogunleye – to visit SERAP’s office and invite them for a familiarization meeting.

The claimants added that in carrying out the directive, John and Ogunleye paid a friendly visit to SERAP’s office at 18 Bamako Street, Wuse Zone 1, Abuja on September 9 and met with one Ruth, who upon being informed about the purpose of the visit, claimed that none of SERAP’s management staff was in the country and advised that a formal letter of invitation be written by the DSS.

John and Ogundele, who claimed that their interactions with Ruth were recorded, said before they immediately exited SERAP’s office, Ruth promised to inform her organisation’s management about the visit and volunteered a phone number – 08160537202.

They said it was surprising that, shortly after their visit, SERAP posted on its X (Twitter) handle – @SERAPNigeria – that officers of the DSS are presently unlawfully occupying its office.

The claimant added, “On the same day, the defendants also published a statement on SERAP’s website, which was widely reported by several media outfits, falsely alleging that some officers from the DSS, described as “a tall, large, dark-skinned woman” and “a slim, dark skinned man,” invaded their Abuja office and interrogated the staff of the first defendant (SERAP).

John and Ogundele stated that “due to the false statements published by the defendants, the DSS has been ridiculed and criticised by international agencies such as the Amnesty International and prominent members of the Nigerian society, such as Femi Falana (SAN)”.

“Due to the false statements published by the defendants, members of the public and the international community formed the opinion that the Federal Government is using the DSS to harass the defendants.”

They added that the defendants’ statements caused harm to their reputation because the staff and management of the DSS have formed the opinion that the claimants did not follow orders and carried out an unsanctioned operation and are therefore, incompetent and unprofessional.

The claimants therefore prayed the court for the following reliefs: “An order directing the defendants to tender an apology to the claimants via the first defendant’s (SERAP’s) website, X (twitter) handle, two national daily newspapers (Punch and Vanguard) and two national news television stations (Arise Television and Channels Television) for falsely accusing the claimants of unlawfully invading the first defendant’s office and interrogating the first defendant’s staff.

“An order directing the defendants to pay the claimants the sum of N5 billion as damages for the libellous statements published about the claimants.

“Interest on the sum of N5b at the rate of 10 percent per annum from the date of judgment until the judgment sum is realised or liquidated.

“An order directing the defendants to pay the claimants the sum of N50 million as costs of this action.”