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OPINION: Natahsha’s Apoti Is Not Godswill For Apkabio

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Tunde Odesola

The darkness was so heavy you could touch it. ’Twas so thick it could stain. Sinister and choking, the darkness screened off the sky and its moonlight. Without thunderclap nor lightning daze, rain poured down on the night of long knives.

Suddenly, a violent wind arose amid the footfalls of fleeing bandits, who slung huge sacks of stuffed ballot boxes over their shoulders like Father Christmas slings his sack of gifts.

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“Ole! Ole! Ole! Thief! Thief! Thief! The pursuing citizens shouted. The vote robbers neither stopped nor looked back en route to their chamber, deriving inspiration from the proverb of perseverance that says, “When the egúngún is in pursuit, the pursued is advised not to stop because as fleeing humans tire out, so is the pursuing egúngún tiring out.”

One after the other, the bandits jumped into their fortress through the doors, windows and ceiling, slamming the doors, windows and attic shut before the masses could close in. Ruthless and rapacious, the bandits caught their breath like lions do after an arduous kill. Wow! That was a close shave!

Once the robbers ran into their Abuja fortress, the pursuers stopped and backed off, knowing full well the fortress was guarded by gunmen and the Constitution.

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The rain continued to pour down in torrents. No owls hooted, no crickets chirped, no dogs barked, only darkness loomed. The Official Manservant of the bandits is called Mr Clerk. He pressed a button on his table, and the whole chamber came alive in full red colour.

Now, everyone is seated in their respective seat; their faces shone with sweat, rain and blood stains, each beaming with smiles and a sense of accomplishment. Handshakes, backslaps and bear hugs with cackles of laughter shook the chamber.

Apkabio is the leader of the hunting pack. He banged his gavel for attention and said in his peculiar accent, “Distinguished ladies and yentlemen, I, hereby, grant Mr Clerk the permiyon to address and pray for us. Please, let’s pay attenyon because it is my intenyon for our victory celebrayon to progress till the morning hours. We deserve to party and enjoy ourselves, ladies and yentlemen.”

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Clerk: Let us pray. We’re grateful that it pleases the Lord Almighty to give our returning members sweet victory in their respective elections. Though the election battle was snatch and bolt, rip and run, the Lord gives victory to whom He loves…(Speaks in tongues: El shsasba prokorotori matayakata!). Father Lord, we pray that you be the guide and guard of Your children as they embark on their four-year legislative duties to their fatherland in Jesus’ mighty name!

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Chorus: Amen!!!

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An imam, whose tasbih (rosary) was longer than the intestines of a cow, was also on hand to pray for the brood of vipers. His turban was bigger than a parachute.

Apkabio: (Continuing in his funny accent) Mbon mmi, my own election was war! I didn’t participate in my party’s primaries, but I grabbed the ticket after I stuffed Supreme judges’ wigs, gowns and mouths with dollars. Okuk atan iko – money speaking. Money na water.

Fellow bandits hail Apkabio: After God na you!

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Apkabio: No! No! No oooo! Make una no put me for wahala o. Yagaban na my oka (oga) o. I no near Yagaban a-roll a-roll (at all, at all) o.

Bandits: Hahahahahahahha. Na you, biko!

Apkabio: Where’s Honourable Natahsha? I can see a few honourables didn’t jump in through the doors and windows. Mr Clerk, please, tell Honourable Natahsha to see me in my private residence asap; there’s an urgent national assignment for her in my bedroom.

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Clerk: Sir, Honourable Natahsha dropped a petition about the arrangement of the chamber.

Apkabio: Tell her I’ll do anything she wants, whenever and wherever she’s ready to tickle my fancy. She can have anything in this chamber, including my humble self. Who am I but a mere servant, ready to sow and reap in lush vineyards? Uwem enem – life’s sweet o.

The gang bursts out laughing.

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Clerk: I’ll let her know, Your Honour, sir.

The gang partied late into the night, blasting Olu Maintain’s hit, Yahoozee; Kelly Hansome’s Maga Don Pay, and Living Things by 9ice, among other crematorium songs.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Witches On Portable’s Road To Madness (2)

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(Inside Apkabio house, domestic staff engage in gossip)

Gardener: (Singing African China song) …Mr President, lead us well; If you bi governor, govern us well; If you bi senator, senate am well; If you bi police, police well well, no dey take bribe…

Maid: Akpan, if oga or madam hear di song you dey sing, just know say your work for dis house don finish. Both of dem dey para now o.

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Cook: Ekaette, wetin you mean? Why dem dey para nah?

Maid: Udoh and Akpan! Una no hear wetin dey happen!? Di yellow canary wey oga tink say im catch with im bowler hat for inside chamber, by the time oga put im hand inside the hat, oga no grab canary o, na shit oga grab! And the bird don dey sing to fellow Nigerians since!

Gardener: Ha, Ekaette, na wa o. E bi like say dem take women swear for oga. Which kain insult oga never see on top woman matter? Dem don tear oga singlet, beat am, spit on am.. Haba! Shey na di route wey oga follow come dis world im wan follow go ni?

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Driver: No bi today nah. You sabi how many earrings and nails wey I don pack while cleaning oga limousines? I no go tell una other extracurricular items wey I don sweep comot from inside oga limousines. Shey una see dat oga head wey bi like Abiku head, na only women and how to thief money full am.

Cook: You mean say oga dey do on motion?

Driver: Oga na ‘Everywhere You Go Turaya’, e dey active on land, air and sea. But dis Apoti wey oga go siddon on top don burn oga yansh, oga no fit siddon again. Apoti na wetin Yoruba dey call small wooden seat. Igbo people dey call am ‘obere oche’. Hausa dey call am ‘keremin kujira’. Dis apoti hot pass furnace.

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(Vehicle horns blare. People talk outside the gates, raining curses on Natahsha and singing the praise of Apkabio)

Maid: Protesters don come collect money – human rights activists, police, students, labour, journalists, traders, lawyers, town unions, etc. Oga don spend real money on top dis skirt and blouse matter o.

Cook: Hey, look! See oga’s chief of staff don dey come downstairs; make e no meet us here o. O ya, o ya, make everybody disappear. Me, I never obtain Yankee visa, I dey waka go boys’ quarters o.

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(Domestic staff disperse quickly)

The next day, Apkabio locked himself inside his room. He was greatly disturbed because the Yellow Canary wouldn’t stop singing. In fact, she has taken her song beyond the compromised courts in the land, to an international tribunal, where she’s singing on the top of her voice. Sweat broke on Apkabio brow.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Witches On Portable’s Road To Madness (1)

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He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. He opened his mouth, but no word came out. He cleared his throat and tried again to talk, yet there was no word. He slumped on his bed and wept.

Apkabio drifted into a dream. In the dream, Apoti pummels and drags him to the edge of a cliff and pushes him off, he shouts and jerks awake, panting, sweating and cursing.

Outside the room, Mrs Apkabio hears her husband’s shout. She rushes in. “Ha, my lord, why are you shouting and sweating like this?” she asked. “It’s that witch o, that ashewo girl. She pushed me from a cliff, but Mama Bourdillon grabbed me before I nack head for wall,” he replied.

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“Blood of Jesus! This will pass, my husband. I’ve mobilised serving and retired female and male crooks, and they’ve been singing your praise. I recruited Itu Iya Ita in Calabar and a former Lagos Minister who has fallen on bad times. I also recruited a member of a family reputed for betraying,” she said. “Thank you,” Apkabio replied.

Mrs Apkabio: But you sef, why you no dey take eye see anything in skirt?

Apkabio: Na my enemies use women curse me, I swear.

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Mrs Apkabio: See your mouth, he-goat! Abeg, I’m going downstairs to pay some leaders of Niger Delta militants who have been helping us threaten to cause wahala if you’re removed.

Apkabio: Thank you. I’ll never chase anything in a skirt again.

Mrs Apkabio: What if she no wear skirt?

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(Both burst out laughing as the wife exits)

All alone, Apkabio goes back to the mirror and looks at himself; a one-horn, one-eyed principality stares back at him. Then, his inner mind spoke: “Apkabio, you’re a disgrace! You stole your way into the House. But instead of repenting from your old ways, you refused. What legacy do you intend to bequeath? A professor who rigged an election for you was jailed. You head a House of criminals, some of whose members are wanted for international crimes in the US and Europe. A current member of the hound is still in prison abroad. Apkabio, look at your life!

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

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Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

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Togo, Niger, Benin Owe Nigeria Over $17.8m For Supplied Electricity – NERC

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Nigeria’s electricity regulator has disclosed that three neighbouring countries, Togo, Niger and Benin, are indebted to Nigeria to the tune of $17.8 million, equivalent to more than N25 billion at prevailing exchange rates, for power supplied under bilateral electricity agreements.

The Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission, NERC, made this known in its Third Quarter 2025 report, which reviewed market performance within the Nigerian Electricity Supply Industry, NESI.

According to the report, the international customers were billed a total of $18.69 million by the Market Operator for electricity supplied during the third quarter of 2025. However, only $7.125 million was paid, leaving an unpaid balance of $11.56 million for the period under review.

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NERC also revealed that the same international offtakers had outstanding legacy debts amounting to $14.7 million from previous quarters. Of this amount, $7.84 million was settled, leaving a residual balance of $6.23 million.

READ ALSO:Expert Identify Foods That Increase Hypertension Medication’s Effectiveness

When combined with the Q3 2025 shortfall, the total outstanding debt stood at $17.8 million, which translates to about N25.36 billion at an exchange rate of N1,425 to one US dollar.

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The regulator identified the international electricity customers as Compagnie Énergie Électrique du Togo, Société Béninoise d’Énergie Électrique of Benin Republic, and Société Nigérienne d’Électricité of Niger Republic.

NERC stated that the three utilities collectively paid just $7.125 million against the $18.69 million invoice issued for electricity supplied in the third quarter, resulting in a remittance performance of 38.09 per cent.

This meant that more than half of the billed amount remained unpaid at the close of the quarter.

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The commission explained that the electricity exported to the three countries was generated by grid-connected Nigerian generation companies and delivered through cross-border bilateral power supply arrangements.

By contrast, NERC reported a stronger payment performance among domestic bilateral customers. According to the report, local customers paid N3.19 billion out of the N3.64 billion invoiced for the same quarter, representing a remittance rate of 87.61 per cent.

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The regulator further noted that some bilateral customers, both international and domestic, made additional payments to offset outstanding invoices from earlier quarters.

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Specifically, the Market Operator received $7.84 million from international customers and N1.3 billion from domestic customers in settlement of previous obligations.

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Beyond bilateral transactions, NERC disclosed that Nigeria’s 11 electricity distribution companies remitted a total of N381.29 billion to the Nigerian Bulk Electricity Trading Plc and the Market Operator in the third quarter of 2025. This was out of a cumulative invoice of N400.48 billion, translating to an overall remittance performance of 95.21 per cent.

The commission said the figures were derived from reconciled market settlement data submitted as of December 18, 2025, as part of its statutory evaluation of the commercial health and performance of the electricity market.

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Expert Identify Foods That Increase Hypertension Medication’s Effectiveness

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Hypertension remains one of the leading causes of premature death worldwide, contributing significantly to heart disease, stroke, and kidney failure. Despite the availability of effective antihypertensive drugs, long-term control of high blood pressure is often challenging because of drug resistance, side effects, and poor adherence.

This has fueled growing scientific interest in complementary strategies that can enhance drug efficacy while minimising toxicity. One promising approach is the combination of conventional antihypertensive medications with herbs and spices in many kitchens.

Recent evidence suggests that augmenting modern antihypertensive drugs with foods rich in p-coumaric acid, a naturally occurring phenolic acid, may offer a novel and effective strategy for blood pressure control.

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Phenolic compounds, commonly found in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes, are known for their antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and blood vessel–protective properties.

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In a study, researchers investigated the combined effects of lisinopril, a widely used antihypertensive drugs and p-coumaric acid on hypertension.

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They reported in the Comparative Clinical Pathology that p-coumaric acid enhance the antihypertensive action of lisinopril, potentially allowing for improved blood pressure control without increasing drug dosage.

The study used an established animal model in which hypertension was induced in rats through oral administration of L-NAME, a compound known to suppress nitric oxide production and raise blood pressure.

Following the induction of hypertension, the animals were treated for 14 days with p-coumaric acid (at two different doses), lisinopril alone, or a combination of both.

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Untreated hypertensive rats showed significantly elevated activities of key enzymes linked to high blood pressure such as ACE, arginase, acetylcholinesterase, and phosphodiesterase-5 along with increased lipid peroxidation, an indicator of oxidative stress. At the same time, levels of nitric oxide, a critical molecule for blood vessel relaxation, were markedly reduced.

By contrast, rats treated with a combination of lisinopril and p-coumaric acid experienced notable improvements. Blood pressure was better controlled; harmful enzyme activities were reduced, oxidative stress declined, and nitric oxide levels increased. These improvements were mirrored in the tissues the heart compared with untreated hypertensive animals.

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They said that the findings suggest that p-coumaric acid may enhance the antihypertensive action of lisinopril, potentially allowing for improved blood pressure control without increasing drug dosage.

This drug–food interaction model is particularly important in the circumstance of long-term hypertension management. Many patients rely on lifelong medication, and strategies that can improve treatment outcomes while reducing side effects are highly desirable.

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The study also reinforces the growing recognition that diet is not merely supportive but can be biologically active in disease control.

The use of medicinal plants and plant-based therapies in the management of hypertension is deeply rooted in traditional medicine across many cultures. While such practices have often existed outside conventional healthcare systems, modern scientific research is now providing evidence-based explanations for their effectiveness.

While these findings are based on animal studies and cannot yet be directly translated into clinical recommendations for humans, they open the door to future research on dietary strategies that can safely complement antihypertensive drugs.

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Further clinical studies are needed to determine appropriate dosages, safety profiles, and real-world effectiveness.

In the fight against hypertension, the future may lie not only in new drugs, but also in smarter combinations, where medicine and nutrition work together to deliver better, safer outcomes for patients.

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Such nutrition to help maintain healthy blood pressure includes garlic, potatoes, walnuts,tomato and tomato products, legumes and citrus fruits (grapefruits and oranges).
(TRIBUNE)

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Researchers Develop Treatment For Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Researchers at Case Western Reserve University have developed a treatment for advanced prostate cancer that could eliminate a side effect so debilitating that patients often refuse the life-saving therapy.

The innovative approach, according to the researchers, targets prostate cancer cells just as successfully as existing treatments while causing significantly less harm to salivary glands.

For many people with prostate cancer, it relieves the extreme dry mouth that makes speaking, chewing, and swallowing nearly impossible.

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According to the findings published in Molecular Imaging and Biology, the treatment targets PSMA (Prostate-Specific Membrane Antigen), a protein present in high numbers on prostate cancer cells.

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Radioligand therapy (RTL) attaches radioactive material to a targeting molecule that acts like a GPS system, guiding the radiation directly to cancer cells while avoiding healthy tissue.

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Current PSMA-targeted radioligand therapy is one of the most promising precision cancer treatments for end-stage prostate cancer because it acts as a “smart bomb” that locates and destroys cancer cells.

The downside, however, is that this therapy often causes severe salivary gland damage, resulting in extreme dry mouth that can be so debilitating that patients choose to stop treatment that might save their lives.

James P. Basilion, professor in the Department of Biomedical Engineering at Case Western Reserve and co-leader of the Cancer Imaging Program at the Case Comprehensive Cancer Centre (Case CCC), explained that various strategies to mitigate this side effect have been attempted before, with limited success.

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According to the study, PSMA-1-DOTA has a four-fold greater affinity for prostate cancer cells than current therapies.

In addition to having the same tumour-fighting effectiveness as the current standard radioligand therapy, it also significantly reduced damage to the tear and salivary glands, almost eliminating the risk of dry mouth.

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This discovery has the potential to significantly alter the treatment of prostate cancer by making PSMA-targeted therapy an earlier intervention rather than a “last resort.”

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The research included comprehensive testing on mouse models and in a human patient with metastatic prostate cancer at the Technical University of Munich in Germany.

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The patient study confirmed the lab findings, showing the new treatment avoided the salivary glands (potentially preventing dry mouth) while still finding and attacking prostate cancer cells.

The researchers, from now on, are preparing for clinical trials late this year on about 12 prostate patients to validate the promising results and establish the most effective dosing procedures.
(TRIBUNE)

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