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OPINION: Nuhu Ribadu’s Hell And Other Hellish Stories

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By Festus Adedayo

Nigeria has just had one hell of a week. Like an evil spirit, hell hovered over Nigeria with fraught silence. To stave it off, Muslims will seem to have recited the Quranic verse of the Yaseen to keep the evil away. Christians banned and banished. Hell held on regardless. Hell was first let loose when a hellish temperament of the country’s National Security Adviser, (NSA) Nuhu Ribadu, escaped from its scabbard. Ribadu is ostensibly managing a loose, hellish temperament. In a moment of unguarded, loose hold on his temper, Nuhu declared that Canada could go to hell. Ribadu’s temper escaped while he was reacting to Nigeria’s Chief of Defence Staff, General Christopher Musa’s open revelation that Canada refused him and some military officers visa. They were billed to attend a remembrance in honour of fallen soldiers. Ribadu was openly miffed by what he termed a “painful, disrespectful” visa denial.

Now, there is hell everywhere. As I said earlier, last week was indeed very hellish for Nigeria. In William Congreve’s 1697 play with the title, The Mourning Bride, one of Congreve’s female characters, Zara, a captive queen, had raised some hell. She told a prison guard, “Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.” Ondo State got caught in the hell narrative when the counsel of her ex-First Lady got scorned. Betty, wife of late governor Rotimi Akeredolu then stepped out to reify the hell discourse, lest Ondo State be let out of the hell loop. In an interview with a Star News, Betty would seem to have let all hell loose. Like Zara in Congreve’s. This time, however, her hell was reserved for spiritualists who wittingly or unwittingly kill their victims in the name of spirituality. Also, like Ribadu, she reserve a hellish space for those who made the cost of living this unbearable for the common man. A breast cancer survivor, Betty was against-method. She abandoned the African orthodoxy of not speaking uncomplimentary words about the dead. In doing this, Betty burst a closely guarded bubble of her home and in the process, perforating an over-a-century-old fake veneration of religion. Though not overt, orthodox religious belief, especially in Africa, is that diseases like cancer are caused by spiritual attacks.

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“What came out of their mountain climbing, ‘blessed handkerchiefs, water, olive oil’, etc., from the G.Os and all the noisy prayers like people possessed by demons? If Aketi had listened to me, I wouldn’t be a widow.” She was obviously mocking the Prophet Jeros who, like a pestilence, suck the nectar of the vulnerable in Nigeria.

Hell was not done with Nigeria. In fact, you would imagine that Nigeria was Hell’s temporary habitation. That same week, one hell of a news crept into the information highway. It was the story of how Starboy Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Governor, Olayemi Cardoso, got his ladies-centric consultancy bubble burst in the CBN. Said the report, unsettling grunts had recently been reverberating round the apex bank’s 29 departments. Apparently, Starboy took the Yoruba aphorism of ‘the persistent grunts of a pig will inhabit its innards forever’ (hùn-hùn-hùn inú elédè l’ó ńgbé) extra-literally. So, he could not be bothered by CBN pigs’ grunts. He kept on with his Pín-yà job. Apologies to those who do not know the geneology of Pín-yà. Between January 1984 and August 1985 when he administered Ogun State as governor, all hell was let loose as Oladipo Diya reportedly inflicted so much pain on the citizens. It was such that, rather than call him by his ‘Diya’ surname, Ogun people (secretly, of course!) inflected it to an alliterative Pín-yà which literally meant ‘distributor of pain’. Like the biblical Rehoboam, Cardoso had recently doubled down on his peremptory chastising of Nigerians with scorpions. He did this through his new policy of having hapless Nigerians suffer deductions during cash withdrawals with their ATM card.

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The hùn-hùn-hùn fuming and grumbling of the Senior staff members of the CBN however refused to reside inside of them. So they raised hell that the CBN was being bankrupted by an over-expenditure of beneficence they suspected was sexual. Hell! In his moment of impudence and audacity, Starboy had reportedly arbitrarily hired three female consultants mockingly christened “the Cardoso Women”. It was to these daughters of discord, apologies to Wole Soyinka, that Cardoso allegedly magisterially allocated “unbelievably high and obscene” salaries and allowances, massive enough to construct another Ibadan’s Cocoa House. The obscene salaries paid the three mystery women range from N50 million and N35 million monthly. The amounts are said to be higher than combined salaries of 10 directors.

The qestion now is, what gave rise to this apex bank’s strange contraption? Was it phallus-driven or taken from the playbook of nepotism, the bug that has bitten Nigeria’s current government? Whenever such unconscionable favouritism occurs, reference is always made to Middle Ages, up to the 17th century, where Catholic Popes and Bishops, because of their vow of celibacy, enthroned their nephews in positions that are usually accorded from fathers to sons. Many Popes of this period, like the Cardoso Women’s unbridled uplift, elevated their nephews and relatives into the Cardinalate, thereby instituting a Papal dynasty. A forerunner of Cardoso in this favouritism regard was Pope Callixtus 111. The Pope made his nephews cardinals, one of whom was Rodrigo who later became Pope Alexander V1. In Britain, nepotism is usually symbolized by the phrase, “Bob’s your uncle”. It became fashionable when the Third Marquess of Salisbury, Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-Cecil, promoted Arthur Balfour, his nephew, to the position of Chief Secretary for Ireland. But, we need more information on what drove this variant of nepotism of the Cardoso Women hue. Do we call it phallus-nepotism? It reminds me of a verse in an Ifa poetry chant which begins thus, “When they are favoured by the world, they act unconscionably…” (B’áyé bá ye wón tán, ìwà ìbàjé ni wón ńhù…).

We had hardly dispensed with the phallus-fear hell raised by the “Cardoso Women” when Tigran Gambaryan of the crypto finance firm, Binance raised a huge fireball of the size of the hell anticipated in Armageddon. You recollect that Gambaryan and his colleague were arrested for money laundering by the Nigerian state. Remember also that Gambaryan’s colleague’s escape raised some hell in the polity. A diplomatic compromise eventually got Gambaryan off the hook. Now, the most recent hell is that the American has started singing like the finch canary bird. In an X post last week, Gambaryan alleged that three Nigerian lawmakers demanded a whooping $150 million bribe from him to facilitate his escape, arrest and prosecution. In the X post, Gambaryan also set Ribadu’s feet on the road to hell. So, rather than Canada going to hell, our NSA is in one hell of a trouble. According to the latest canary, Ribadu and some other government officials were part of this well-orchestrated bribery roulette.

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Now, let me embark on short responses to the multiple hell I mentioned overleaf. Yoruba Apala music legend, Ayinla Omowura, raising hell about misplacement of temper, had wondered why someone who cooks a soup that loses its savour would blame the plate on which it was served for their culinary misadventure (Bí’yò ò dun’bè, e ó se fì’kanra m’éwé?). Why do we blame those well-organized countries for refusing us visas? Rather than raising hell, the key lies in fixing our own country. Gen. Musa himself hit the nail on its head when he said the Canada visa denial was a clear prompting to Nigeria to “stand on its own, stand strong as a nation.” Many people have posited that unless western countries deny our peripatetic leaders visa to their countries, we would never fix Nigeria. Take for instance the bad example of our president who literally takes his breakfast in Abuja, lunch in Paris and dinner in any part of the world, many of the trips ostensibly to take care of his health. Why doesn’t he clone his Paris or UK hospice here in Nigeria?

And again, why would Ribadu and Musa blame Canada for denying Nigerian military officers visa to observe a social event as mundane as honouring fallen soldiers? Were those fallen soldiers Nigerians? If not, of what importance is the COAS’ attendance of such an event which on the surface looks like a jamboree? Methinks no greater honour could be given to gallant soldier fighters than upholding the cause they died for and keeping the family they left behind. Almost on a yearly basis, retired servicemen cry out due to their neglect by the military high command. How would Musa and his fat-epaulettes, fat-tummied officers’ travelling to Canada on a social junket memorialize these soldiers? I think, rather than ask her to go to hell, we should thank Canada for preserving Nigeria’s scarce forex that would have been immolated on this fanfare. I also think Alozie Ogugbuaja (police PRO during the IBB era’s) pepper soup theory is being inverted here. Ribadu is apparently taking too much pepper soup and its ancillary companion from the Police Officers’ Mess. They are likely responsible for this uncouth hell gaffe.

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Now, to Betty Akeredolu’s hell. For once, let’s thank this Imo State-born woman for her against-method view. He who feels it knows it. For fear of raising hell and being accused of going to hell, Nigerians who suffer in the hands of christian and Islamic spiritualists have kept sealed lips on the havoc done them by the charlatans. Many had their loved ones dragged to death. It took Dora Akunyili’s son’s revelation in a viral video a couple of years ago for us to discover how G.Os lured the NAFDAC amazon to her death through their false assurances of healing. Betty is the one nursing the pangs of her husband’s loss and is one who feels the pain. Let us learn from her revelation and stop patronizing fraudulent spiritualists on ailments which science can cure. Betty herself is the best empirical example.

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And then, the “Cardoso Women” in the CBN. My question is, why are men of power, at the apogee of their rule, always implicated in the hell that resides between their laps? This moment, I race for a copy of my Ligali Mukaiba vinyl. Mukaiba, another Yoruba Apala musical lord with a uniquely mellifluous and sleepy voice, was Lagos, Epe-born. In one of his 1970s tracks, he speaks to the pervasive influence of women in the lives of men, comparable only to drugs on addicts. Mukaiba sang, “I cannot see what a woman cannot fashion out with a man once she arrests his heart. If she orders him to go to Sokoto or Jos, off the man goes…” (Mi ò wá rí’hun t’óbìnrin ò lè fi’ni se/ t’ó bá ńwu’ni/t’ó bá ńj’àrábà eni/t’ó bá l’ó yá ní Sókótó/kùrù kere o…a ó tèlée l’éyìn ni/T’ó bá l’ó yá ni Jos o, a ó tèlé e lo ni…)

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If you want to know the immense power of women and why men in power become captives of their own libido, please read an earlier piece I did with the title Atiku Abubakar and the sexual history of the Nigerian presidency (February 6, 2022). In it, using the story of Zimbabwean former Prime Minister, Morgan Tsvangirai, who suffered “a nasty blow from below,” an euphemism for impotency, as well as Nigerian leaders’, (Ibrahim Babangida, Atiku Abubakar, Olusegun Obasanjo) I traced the geography and history of libidinous rascality in Nigeria’s topmost power echelon. I also explored the centrality and virility of power, while attempting to show how men of power, through their libido, use sex as a locus of power. The lesson I came with was given by Prof Wale Adebanwi in a seminal journal article where he stated that, all of us, scholars, lay scholars and society as a whole, “need to pay greater attention to the ways in which obscenity can help explain the nature of power.” I used these men’s awkward exercise of their virile members to explain how libidinous politics and corruption cannot be divorced from Nigeria’s socio-politics.

Now, to the Gambaryan hell. Almost immediately he revealed the stenchy details of the bribe allegations, the Nigerian government attempted to douse the raging hell fire with officialese theatrics. Mohammed Idris, Minister of Information, made very feeble, and I dare say, unconvincing and puerile attempt to douse the bribery conflagration. In saner countries, these allegations are enough to get officials running helter-skelter. But, not to worry, this is Nigeria, home to fantastically corrupt governments notorious for crippling the country with bribery. Idris just needed to fulfill all righteousness. And he did. He obviously didn’t sound convincing and didn’t care. The press release merely went into the archives of similar rebuttals in the past and the playbook of governments’ appeal to patriotism. In the service to the god of cant, the minister merely made use of time-worn officialese which Nigerians know have always been used as diapers to cover government officials’ heists. It was same way a denial was put up to Femi Otedola’s allegation against House of Representatives member, Farouk Lawan, for receiving a $500,000 bribe. What happened in the end? I personally believe Gambaryan and hold that his allegation is consistent with a narrative of the Nigerian bigman in public service. He had a graphic and believable description of the scene of the alleged crime and the alleged dramatis personae. He is to me a witness of truth. We must not lose track of the fact that, whenever it is about corruption, Nigerian government officials’ notoriety for swimming in the puddle is worse than a swine’s.

Isn’t it an oxymoron that the Nigerian government, which should be eager to sacrifice corrupt cogs in the wheels of its progress is the one defending the accused? Nigerians would have expected each of those officials Gambaryan mentioned to be investigated by an impartial panel and not coming out to wax its sanctimony. Not to worry. Nigerians know who to believe over the Gambaryan allegation. The Binance executive’s home country, I am sure, must also be in possession of the hard facts of the transaction. The truths is that, the hun-hun-hun of alleged official and unofficial corruption allegedly traced to this government in the last 21 months is mind-boggling and concerning. If ever the baton changes hand, Nigerians must be ready to be treated to the most putrid display of swimming maggots in the history of Nigerian governance.

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Oh, what a hell!

 

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IPF Celebrates Otuaro On His Birthday Anniversary

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The Ijaw Publishers’ Forum (IPF) has felicitated with Chief Dr. Dennis Otuaro, Administrator of the Presidential Amnesty Programme, on the occasion of his birthday.

A statement issued by the secretary of the body, Tare Magbei, commended Otuaro for his “steady leadership of the Presidential Amnesty Programme,” which according to the forum has “continued to strengthen peace, rehabilitation, and development in the Niger Delta.”

READ ALSO: Otuaro Lauds Tinubu For Backing PAP’s Peacebuilding Process In Niger Delta

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Your efforts in providing opportunities for ex-agitators and in advancing stability across the region stand as clear evidence of your dedication to the people and progress of our land.

“As you mark this new year of life, we join your family, friends, and well-wishers in praying for good health, wisdom, and greater success in the service of the Niger Delta and Nigeria.”

 

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JUST IN: Okpehbolo Appoints New VC For AAU

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Edo State governor, Monday Okpehbolo, has approved the appointment of Professor (Mrs.) Eunice Eboserehimen Omonzejie as the new Vice-Chancellor of the state-owned Ambrose Alli University (AAU), Ekpoma.

A statement issued late night by Secretary to the State Government, Umar Musa Ikhilor, said her appointment takes immediate effect.

According to the statement, Prof. Omonzejie was appointed amongst the three names submitted by the Governing Council of the university to the state government.

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The statement partly reads, “Professor (Mrs.) Eunice Eboserehimen Omonzejie
Professor Omonzejie is a distinguished scholar of French and Francophone African Literatures and a long-serving academic in the Department of Modern Languages at Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma.

“She is a prolific researcher and editor, with contributions to African and Francophone literary studies, gender studies, and cultural studies.

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“She has served as the President of the Ambrose Alli University Chapter of the National Association of Women Academics (NAWACS), where she has championed mentoring, research, and advocacy for female academics and students.

“Professor Omonzejie has co-edited several seminal works including French Language in Nigeria: Essays in Honour of UFTAN Pacesetters and Language Matters in Contemporary West Africa, and is the author of Women Novelists in Francophone Black Africa: Views, Reviews and Interviews,” the statement added.

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OPINION: Every democracy ‘Murders Itself’

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By Lasisi Olagunju

In ‘Jokes and Targets’ by Christie Davies, a Soviet journalist interviews a Chukchi man:

“Could you tell us briefly how you lived before the October revolution?”

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“Hungry and cold.”

“How do you live now?”

“Hungry, cold, and with a feeling of deep gratitude.”

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This sounds like Nigeria’s malaria victims thanking mosquitoes for their love and care. Between democracy and its opposite, reality has blurred the lines.

Last week, a group of White House pool reporters travelled with President Donald Trump on Air Force One as he returned from his U.K. state visit. At the beginning of the journey, actor Trump sauntered into the rear section of the plane, the traditional part for the press. He granted an interview and ended it with a morbid wish: “Fly safely. You know why I say that? Because I’m on the flight. I want to get home. Otherwise I wouldn’t care.”

Ten years ago, if a US president said what Trump told those poor reporters, his presidency would suffer immediate cardiac arrest. But this is Colin Crouch’s post-democracy era: the leader, whether in the US or in Nigeria, in Africa or elsewhere, is the law; whatever he does or says, we bow in gratitude.

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I live in a Nigeria of gratitude and surrender. In the North-West and the North-East, traumatised communities are grateful to bandits and their enablers. They invite them to the negotiation table and thank the murderous gunmen for honouring the invitation. A grateful nation anoints and weeps at the feet of terrorists. In emergency-weaned Rivers State, its remorseful governor is effusive in appreciation of a second chance. The reinstated is ever thankful for the favours of a six-month suspension. From the North to the South, on bad roads and in death-wracked hospital wards, sonorous hymns of appreciation for big mercies ooze. The legislature and the judiciary, even the fourth estate, are all in congregation, singing songs of praise of the benevolent executive. Is this still a democracy?

American political scientists, Suzanne Mettler and Robert C. Lieberman in 2020 wrote ‘The Fragile Republic’ for The Foreign Affairs. In that essay, they list four symptoms of democratic backsliding. Prime among the four are economic inequality and excessive executive power. “Excessive executive power” is a three-word synonym for autocratization of democracy. It is a by-word for a democracy hanging itself.

The second president of the United States of America, John Adams, saw today; he warned of democracy decaying and dying: “Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” Adams was not alone. There was also William Blake, 18th/19th century English poet, who said “if men were wise, the most arbitrary princes could not hurt them. If they are not wise, the freest government is compelled to be a tyranny.” This reads like it was written today and here. If you disagree, I ask: Is it wise (and normal) for the tormented to thank the tormentor?

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Listening to what Trump wished the reporters, we could see that big brother America now leads in democratic ‘erantship’, the Third World merely follows. An enormous country, strong enough to appropriate the name of an entire continent, America, in 2025, is blessed with a strongman that is armed with a licence to rule as it pleases his whim; a president who does what he likes and says what he likes or ‘jokes’ about it without consequences. The result is an imperial presidency that has redefined democracy across the world.

We say here that the yam of the one who is vigilant never gets burnt. The American system used to be very resilient in providing a leash on presidential excesses. It still does, although under a very difficult situation. Donald Trump, in his first term between 2017 and 2021, signed 220 Executive Orders. In his ongoing second term that began in January 2025, he has, as of September 18, 2025, already signed 204 Executive Orders upturning this balance, rupturing that tendon. An American friend told me that he could no longer recognise his country. But the good news is that those who should talk and act are not surrendering their country to Trump and his faction of the populace. Because it is America (and not Nigeria), there are over 300 lawsuits challenging Trump’s executive orders or policies in his second term.

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The active legal challenges view the Trump orders either as unconstitutional, exceeding statutory power, or violating rights. And the courts are also doing their job as they should. A 2025 study found some 150 judicial decisions concerning these orders. Some are preliminary injunctions, others are full rulings. President Bola Tinubu last week acknowledged the existence of “over 40 cases in the courts in Abuja, Port Harcourt, and Yenagoa, to invalidate” his Rivers State emergency order. Our courts, especially the Supreme Court, are yet to acknowledge any of the cases with trials, rulings and orders.

It is easy for presidents with unrestrained executive powers to assume imperial airs. In the past, when they did, they feared losing their link with the people and a fall from power. Today, they are on very solid ground, no matter what they do with their people. Midway into his term as US president, an increasingly unpopular Jimmy Carter reassessed himself, and in lamentation told Washington Post’s David Broder that he (Carter) had “fallen into the trap of being ‘head of the government’ rather than ‘leader of the people.’” Today is not that yesterday of sin and punishment. We have surrendered to the point of giving ourselves away. Today’s leaders know that what they need is the government, its power and privileges, certainly not the people. And they keep working hard at it such that America has Trump, and is not the only country that has a Trump. There are Trumps everywhere. We have them in Africa, from the north to the coast.

What democracy suffers in America it suffers more in Africa. Former President Goodluck Jonathan said at the weekend that “democracy in the African continent is going through a period of strain and risk of collapse unless stakeholders come together to rethink and reform it.” He said politicians manipulate the electoral system to perpetuate themselves in office even when the people don’t want them. “Our people want to enjoy their freedom. They want their votes to count during elections. They want equitable representation and inclusivity. They want good education. Our people want security. They want access to good healthcare. They want jobs. They want dignity. When leaders fail to meet these basic needs, the people become disillusioned.” That is from Jonathan who was our president for six years. Did he say these new things because he wants to come back?

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Democracy is like water; a wrong dose turns it to poison. If disillusionment has a home, it is in Africa. It is the reason why the youths of the continent are bailing out for succour, and the reason for Trump’s $100,000 fee on work visas.

In The North American Review of November 1910, Samuel J. Kornhauser reproduced a quotation that contains warnings of what threat a people could constitute to their own freedom: “The same tendencies to wanton abuse of power which exist in a despot or a ruling oligarchy may be expected in a democracy from the ruling majority, because they are tendencies incidental to human nature.” The solution was “a free people setting limitations upon the exercise of their own will” so that they would not “turn democracy into a curse instead of a blessing.”

MORE FROM THE THE AUTHOR:OPINION: HID Awolowo And The Yoruba Woman

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In his 1904 essay, ‘The Relation of the Executive to the Legislative Power’, James T. Young, observed a dramatic shift in American governance: while Woodrow Wilson had earlier warned of “Congressional supremacy,” Young argued that “we now live under a system of executive supremacy,” showing how the traditional checks and balances had failed to maintain equilibrium among the branches. That was in 1904, a hundred and twenty one years ago.

Someone said a leader’s ability to lead a society successfully is dependent on their capacity to govern themselves. It is that self-governing capacity that is lacking in our power circles. Plus the leaders don’t think they owe history anything. “From the errors of others, a wise man corrects himself…The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid.” Publilius Syrus (85–43 BC), the Roman writer credited with uttering those nuggets, was a master of proverbs and apophthegm. We don’t listen to such words; we don’t mind being tripped by the same stone, and it does not matter falling into the same pit.

A democracy can enthrone emperors and kings but it is not that easy to ask them to dismount the high horse of the state without huge costs. We elect leaders and for unsalutory reasons, we let them roam freely with our lives, our safety and our comfort. We promote and defend them with our freedom. I hope we know the full import (and consequences) of the seed we are planting today. A Pharaoh will come who won’t remember that there was ever a Joseph.

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A Roman emperor called Caligula reigned from 16 March, 37 AD until he was put to sleep on 24 January, 41 AD. ‘Caligula’ was not the name his parents gave him; it was an alias, “a joke of the troops” which trumped his real identity: He was named after popular Julius Caesar.

Roman historian, Claudius Suetonius, records in his ‘The Lives of the Caesars’ that Caligula became emperor after his father’s death and then “full and absolute power was at once put into his hands by the unanimous consent of the senate and of the mob, which forced its way into the House.” The new leader came popular with a lot of the people’s hope invested in him. Suetonius says the young man “assumed various surnames (for he was called ‘Pious,’ ‘Child of the Camp,’ ‘Father of the Armies,’ and ‘Greatest and Best of Caesars’). Soon the fawning appellations entered his head and he became the opposite of what his people wanted in their leader. One day, Emperor Caligula chanced “to overhear some kings who had come to Rome to pay their respects to him” doing what Yoruba kings love doing: He found them arguing at dinner about whose throne, among them, was the greatest and the highest in nobility. The emperor heard them and cried: “Let there be one Lord, one King.” He called them to order and from that point, it was clear to everyone that republican Rome now had one Lord, one king, and that was Caligula.

The man said and did things that frightened even the heartless. At a point during his reign, Caligula saw a mass of Roman people, the rabble, applauding some nobles whom he detested. He voiced his hatred for what the people did and said what he thought should be their punishment: “I wish the Roman people had but a single neck so I could cut it through at one blow.” That statement became a quote which has, through centuries, defined his place in history.
It would appear that 79-year old Donald Trump defined himself for history last week with his “fly safely…because I’m on the flight” statement. A leader, a father and grandfather said he did not care if a plane-load of young men and women perished (without him) in a crash. And he told them so.

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MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: On El-Rufai, Aláròká And Terrorists

A Twi proverb suggests that “the chief feels the heat only when his own roof is on fire.” Trump’s unfortunate remark is said to be a joke. Even as a joke, what the US president said sits in a long tradition of expensive jokes. Trump’s cruel ‘jest’ couldn’t be funny to any people even if they were under the spell of the leader. History and literature are full of such costly quips that come light from the tongue but which reveal something raw about power and rulers: power does not agree that all human beings possess equal worth, equal dignity, and equal rights. Power talks, and whenever it talks, it sets itself apart.
King Louis XV of France is remembered for uttering the line: “Après moi, le déluge (After me, the flood).” Some commentators say it was a joke, some others say it was a shrug. History interpreted what Louis XV said as the king not caring a hoot whatever might happen to France after he was gone. That statement is a sound bite that has clung to him forever as Abraham Lincoln’s mother’s prayer clung to her son.

When Louis XV said it, no one saw what the king said as a prophecy, grim and ghastly. I am not sure he also knew the full import of what he said. But it was prescient; fifteen years after his reign, the “flood” came furious with the 1789 revolution culminating in the effective abolition of the French monarchy by the proclamation of the First Republic on September 21, 1792.

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Emperor Nero of Rome is remembered forever for playing the fiddle while Rome was burning. In William Shakespeare’s Henry VI, we read a verse that ends with “Nero, Play(ing) on the lute, beholding the towns burn.” What is remembered of Nero is the image of a leader who ‘enjoyed the life of his head’ while his empire got destroyed by fire set at it by the enemy. But did the emperor really do that? Read this from the Encyclopaedia Britannica: “So, did Nero fiddle while Rome burned? No. Sort of. Maybe. More likely, he strummed a proto-guitar while dreaming of the new city that he hoped would arise in the fire’s ashes. That isn’t quite the same thing as doing nothing, but it isn’t the sort of decisive leadership one might hope for either.”

I have roamed from imperial Rome to medieval France, to democratic America and its Nigerian side-kick. What is next here is to go back, and salute John Adams with this his dispraise of democracy: “It is in vain to say that democracy is less vain, less proud, less selfish, less ambitious, or less avaricious than aristocracy or monarchy.” A system or a country becomes a joke when its leaders toy with its destiny; when they make light of the fears of their people.

The Akan of Ghana warn that if you sit on comfortable rotten wood to eat pawpaw, your bottom gets wet and your mouth also gets wet. This is to say that there are consequences for choices made. A kabiyesi democracy is an autocratic monarchy. And what does that feel like? I read of a king who joked to his courtiers during famine: “Hunger has no teeth sharp enough to bite me in my palace.” It was a careless statement of a monarchy that has found its way into the mouth of our democracy. I saw it where I read it that the ‘joke’ “was remembered bitterly by the starving commoners who later sang satirical songs about the unfeeling king.” Some jokes outlive their laughter.

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