News
OPINION: Pounding Yams On Stubborn Bald Heads

Tunde Odesola
Jonathan Love and Taylor Steele are Americans. They are also my buddies at work. Jonathan is black; Taylor is white. The three of us could have perished in a ghastly auto accident on the morning of Tuesday, June 3, 2025, with me behind the wheel. “I need a dip, soda and sausage biscuit,” Taylor said with the expectation of a farmer on a rainy day. “I need soda and a sausage biscuit,” Jonathan stated assuredly like a pilot on a fine-weather day. So, I pulled off the highway into a gas station, and the two hopped out like students returning to school after a long holiday.
Drenching sugar, dripping salt and embalming preservatives; oh, how I dislike fast foods! The US, statistics say, devours more sugar than any other nation on God’s spinning earth. Rather than eat fast food, I’ll snack on rat neutraliser – I don’t want to say poison. I mean, I prefer home-made meals, anytime.
While Jonathan and Taylor were gone, I reached for my phone and entered the fray of modern distraction – Facebook, the ‘bolekaja’ of social media. ‘Bolekaja’ is a Yoruba slang for ‘alight, let’s fight’ – a fitting name for a platform whose oxygen is argument.
None of the drama in the
‘Bolekaja’ was interesting, so I migrated to WhatsApp. WhatsApp is the ‘Face Me–I–Slap You’ apartment of social media, where you’re safe in your room, but the moment you step out to mingle, you could be hit by anything.
A banker friend in the UK, Adeola Ojo, had sent me some skits on WhatsApp. I was watching one of the skits when Taylor opened the passenger door and sat beside me in the front while we waited for Jonathan. Taylor is in the habit of peeking at people’s phones, but I don’t mind. Mouth-watering Nigerian foods were on parade in the skit I was watching when Taylor got in the car. Some of the sumptuous meals being scooped into colourful plates came with orisirisi combinations: amala, gbegiri and ewedu swirling like a brown-and-green river; edika ikong cuddling fufu; eba serenading afang; moin moin hugging eko; cocoyam blessing bitterleaf soup; semo in tête-à-tête with oha; and ikokore – the secret of wateryam discovered by the Ijebu, rich and irresistible…while Taylor peeped away at my phone.
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Then the wooden spoon scooped three large portions of snow-white pounded yam into a bowl, and Taylor, mouth ajar and mind afar, shouted, “Oh! Ice cream!” Yes, he screamed. If I were on the highway when he said that, only mercy could have sent us back to the land of the living from the gates of heaven.
Thank God we three got back to work in one piece. Thank God none of us took temporary accommodation in the morgue, pending autopsy, en route to burial. Thank God, no one was injured. Thank God! Thank God!
Taylor asked me why I was reeling with laughter, I couldn’t explain to him because he would not understand; yam is not an American staple. So, how would he understand pounded yam? I just laughed and laughed for it was the only thing I could do; oro buruku tohun, terin – gloom accommodates laughter. Since I was a kid, I had learnt that when yam transmutes, it becomes pounded yam – isu parada, o d’iyan; but here I am, America is teaching me something different.
When one arrives at work, one must work: ti a ba de ibi ise, a ma n se ni, says a wise saying from my roots. In African culture, labour is sacred, it’s not just a meal ticket. Be you a farmer, hunter, fisherman, weaver, herbalist – no matter the work you do, there’s dignity in your labour.
But there are some jobs I can never, ever do. The topmost of such jobs is the work of Abobaku – the one who is buried with the king. I cannot come and die with any king o. Ah! Lai, lai! The Abobaku concept espoused in yesteryear Yoruba culture leans more on class manipulation and superiority complex than preservation of cosmic balance.
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In “Death and the King’s Horseman,” Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka, explores the themes of death, betrayal, cultural identity, duty, colonialism, disruption, metaphysics, etc when Elesin – the Abobaku in the play – refuses to be buried with the king.
Sadly, the royal manipulation of ancient times has transmogrified into political and religious manipulation today, with many political zombies dying for their godfathers and spiritual fathers. This is evident in the way millions of PSP – Poverty-Stricken People – stupidly support some politicians whose actions have worsened poverty in the land. It also accounts for why some religious leaders would sell bulletproof vests to their adherents while the Papas and Mamas go about in bulletproof vehicles.
I’m yet to find a description worse than national shame the manner the Bola Tinubu administration celebrated the mouthed completion of 30 kilometers of the 750km Lagos-Calabar coastal highway. Adults who dance on the streets, celebrating four percent as a pass mark, should be chained to the iroko tree, lest they stray into the market.
Religious manipulation has produced a multitude of fake pastors like David Ibiyeo-Money and Jeremiah Funfeyin, Idabosky, etc as well as their Muslim counterparts, who preach exploitative doctrines to yoke their gullible followers with fear and guilt, making them part with their money easily.
Another job I can never do, even if it pays $10m per month is the job of an ìwèfà . In ancient Yoruba times, an ìwèfà was the young male who catered to the needs of the king’s harem. To forestall cross-pollination and pollution of the blue bloodline, the ìwèfà is castrated. Slaves were mostly picked for this job. The ìwèfà is preserved to preserve the king’s pleasure. He’s the cockless cock that craves the corn in a bottle.
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Moses saw the Promised Land, but he didn’t enter it with the Israelites. May that not be our portion. I can never take up the job of security official during football matches, backing the field of play while action is ongoing, and watching whether some delirious fan is going to run onto the field. In the UEFA Champions League final played at the Munich Football Arena, Munich, Germany, between PSG and Inter Milan, many stadium security officials backed the pitch and watched the fans to ensure crowd control. To back the field and watch jubilating fans celebrating or mourning the 5-0 worsting of Inter by a merciless PSG side was to suffer a fate similar to that of an ìwèfà.
There are three jobs I covet. I’ve been praying to God to give me the three jobs at the same time. The first is the job of Alhaji Abdullahi Ganduje, the hardworking national chairman of the All Progressives Congress. When I get the job, I’ll be doing absolutely nothing but just busy myself with sewing many starched agbada with pockets large enough to stuff dollars and an elephant.
The second job is that of the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Nyesom Wike. In the office, I will be croaking and causing wahala in my state, Osun, trampling on the skulls and limbs of the living and the dead, like a crazed cow in a china shop. So simple.
The third job is by no means easier than the first two. It’s the job of the Governor of Osun State, currently held by Asiwaju Jackson Nurudeen Ademola Adeleke. On the job, I’ll work hard, eat, sleep and dance to every sound like ikoto, the spinning toy, which staggers left and right, struggling hard to stay upright by itself without support. I’ll change my first name to Ajobiewe.
But there’s one job I’m unqualified to take because of my ancestry. It’s the job of the King of Iwo. However, I dare to say I’m not a US ex-convict like the present occupier of the stool, Oba Abdulrasheed Adekanbi. If I were the Oluwo, I wouldn’t have opened my mouth to tell the world that I wish to be called the Alaafin of Iwo because I know the title of the Alaafin was only a nickname that eventually became the main name. The actual title of the ruler of Oyo was Oloyo of Oyo, according to world-renowned Ifa scholar and priest, Chief Ifayemi Elebuibon.
In a telephone interview with me, Elebuibon said, “The name of the ruler of Oyo in ancient times was Olóyo Òrò-mòko (the powerful owner of Oyo Òrò who drinks pap) or Oba Eleyo Ajori Aje Olu Eni Gbara (the king who eats choice dishes cooked with shea butter).”
If I were the Oluwo, I would be content with my title, Oluwo, which means the god or lord of Iwo (Oluwa Iwo), instead of seeking the title, Alaafin, whose literal meaning – owner of a palace – is not as powerful as Oluwo.
Also, I will not rant in a viral video that Iwo was never under Ibadan when Ibadan had a standing army that defended Yoruba land, which included Iwo, against Fulani incursion. If I were the Oluwo, I’d keep my mouth shut and not belch when needless.
Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com
Facebook: @Tunde Odesola
X: @Tunde_Odesola
News
JUST IN: PENGASSAN Strike May Trigger Nationwide Blackout, Thermal Plants Shut Down

Nigerians may face a nationwide blackout from Monday as power generation companies have raised the alarm over an imminent shutdown of thermal plants following directives from the Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria.
The Executive Secretary of the Association of Power Generating Companies, Joy Ogaji, raised the alarm over the imminent blackout in a WhatsApp message on Sunday.
She revealed that gas suppliers had issued notices to halt supply to thermal power stations in line with PENGASSAN’s strike resolution.
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“Good day, all. Thermal GenCos have received notification from our gas suppliers to shut down our thermal power plants following directives from PENGASSAN. The Nigerian Gas Infrastructure Company has specifically requested GenCos to comply,” Ogaji said in the post.
She warned that the development could plunge the country into darkness, as hydroelectric dams alone cannot sustain the national grid.
“Please all be notified of the imminent darkness, as hydros alone cannot sustain the system,” she added.
READ ALSO:PENGASSAN Shuts OML-18 Over Labour Dispute With NNPC Subsidiary
The warning comes hours after PENGASSAN announced that it would commence a nationwide strike on Monday to protest the dismissal of over 800 workers at the Dangote Petroleum Refinery.
The oil workers’ union, after an emergency National Executive Council meeting on Saturday, directed its members in all oil and gas installations to down tools until the sackings were reversed.
The action could cripple crude production, fuel supply, gas distribution and now electricity generation, worsening the hardship faced by Nigerians.
With thermal stations accounting for more than 70 per cent of Nigeria’s electricity supply, industry experts say the shutdown will trigger widespread outages, stretch hydro plants beyond capacity and heighten the risk of a nationwide system collapse.
News
Customs Launches One-stop-shop To Cut Cargo Clearance To 48 Hours

The Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) says it has officially introduced its ‘One-Stop-Shop (OSS)’ initiative aimed at reducing cargo clearance time to 48 hours.
NCS spokesperson, Abdullahi Maiwada, made this known in a statement on Sunday in Abuja.
Maiwada said the initiative was unveiled recently during a meeting between NCS management and Customs Area Controllers, chaired by the Comptroller-General (C-G), Adewale Adeniyi, in Abuja.
He said the meeting deliberated on the service’s modernisation agenda and the role of leadership in driving reforms across commands.
READ ALSO:10 Things Candidates Should Know About Customs Recruitment CBT Exams
Maiwada quoted the C-G as describing the OSS as a “transformative shift” which aligned with global best practices and the Federal Government’s Ease of Doing Business policy.
Adeniyi said the reform was designed to sanitise operations, reduce duplication of efforts and ensure predictability in customs procedures.
“The OSS initiative will not only shorten clearance time from 21 days to 48 hours, but it will also strengthen trader confidence, restore transparency and make our operations more business-friendly,” Adeniyi said.
The C-G acknowledged the role of technology in customs operations but also emphasised the importance of physical engagement with officers.
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“As much as technology has helped us, it has its limits. There are moments when physical presence, coming together under one roof, adds weight and value to our deliberations,” he said.
The NCS boss said the reform would be piloted at Apapa, Tin Can Island and Onne Ports before being rolled out nationwide.
He added that the initiative was constitutionally supported by the NCS Act 2023 and aligned with the World Trade Organisation’s Trade Facilitation Agreement (TFA).
“This is not just a policy. It is a statement of intent that reflects our determination to build a modern, transparent and trader-friendly Customs Service,” he said.
READ ALSO:Customs Intercepts N5.1b Illicit Drugs From India, Canada At Lagos Airport
The spokesperson said that under the OSS framework, all customs units would work jointly on flagged declarations, eliminating multiple checks and reducing delays.
According to him, consignments cleared under the OSS will not be subject to re-interception, thereby reducing costs and enhancing trade facilitation.
He said the meeting also provided a platform to review the NCS accountability framework, including a new central dashboard that tracks clearance times, interventions and stakeholder satisfaction.
News
SEC Warns Nigerians Over AI-generated Investment Scams

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has warned Nigerians to be cautious of a rising wave of artificial intelligence (AI)-driven scams that are targeting unsuspecting investors with promises of guaranteed profits and fake celebrity endorsements.
The Commission, in a statement, recalled that platforms such as CBEX, Silverkuun, and TOFRO were operating illegally by advertising AI-powered trading systems that promised unrealistic returns.
“These platforms are not registered or regulated by the SEC, yet they continue to mislead the public with false claims of AI-driven investments. They pose serious risks to investors; hence, the Commission issued a series of disclaimers against their activities,” the Commission stated.
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The SEC explained that fraudsters are increasingly turning to deepfake videos and AI-generated content to lure victims, noting that manipulated videos featuring politicians, celebrities, and television hosts are being shared through Facebook adverts, Instagram reels, and Telegram groups to give fraudulent platforms an air of credibility.
According to the Commission, “Scammers are exploiting AI to fabricate endorsements and testimonials that appear genuine. This has made traditional fraud detection methods less effective, hence the need for tech-enabled regulation and greater public awareness.”
To counter the growing threat, the SEC explained that it is adopting advanced surveillance systems capable of detecting fraudulent activity in real time, adding that partnerships with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) and the Nigerian Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU) are being strengthened to enable data sharing and joint enforcement actions.
READ ALSO:FG Security Agency, Nigerian Army Move To Tackle Illicit Small Arms, Light Weapons
“We are moving from reactive to predictive oversight. This is essential in combating fraud and systemic risks in our market,” the Commission emphasised.
The regulator said it has also engaged social media companies to clamp down on misleading adverts and cautioned influencers against promoting unlicensed investment schemes.
“Any influencer or blogger found to be complicit in promoting illegal platforms will face regulatory sanctions or even prosecution,” the SEC warned.
READ ALSO:US Commits $32.5m To Support Food Security In Nigeria
The Commission urged Nigerians to take extra precautions before investing, stressing that any scheme promising daily profits, zero risk, or celebrity-backed endorsements should be treated with suspicion.
It stated: “Any investment that guarantees unrealistic returns or uses manipulated videos of public figures should immediately raise a red flag.”
The Commission further encouraged Nigerians to verify the registration status of any investment platform on its website, where a list of licensed Capital Market Operators is available.
It added that investors should confirm that registration numbers displayed on company websites match the details on the SEC portal and avoid platforms that only operate through Telegram or WhatsApp without a verifiable office address.
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