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OPINION: Pounding Yams On Stubborn Bald Heads

Published

3 months ago

June 6, 2025

Tunde Odesola

Jonathan Love and Taylor Steele are Americans. They are also my buddies at work. Jonathan is black; Taylor is white. The three of us could have perished in a ghastly auto accident on the morning of Tuesday, June 3, 2025, with me behind the wheel. “I need a dip, soda and sausage biscuit,” Taylor said with the expectation of a farmer on a rainy day. “I need soda and a sausage biscuit,” Jonathan stated assuredly like a pilot on a fine-weather day. So, I pulled off the highway into a gas station, and the two hopped out like students returning to school after a long holiday.

Drenching sugar, dripping salt and embalming preservatives; oh, how I dislike fast foods! The US, statistics say, devours more sugar than any other nation on God’s spinning earth. Rather than eat fast food, I’ll snack on rat neutraliser – I don’t want to say poison. I mean, I prefer home-made meals, anytime.

While Jonathan and Taylor were gone, I reached for my phone and entered the fray of modern distraction – Facebook, the ‘bolekaja’ of social media. ‘Bolekaja’ is a Yoruba slang for ‘alight, let’s fight’ – a fitting name for a platform whose oxygen is argument.

None of the drama in the
‘Bolekaja’ was interesting, so I migrated to WhatsApp. WhatsApp is the ‘Face Me–I–Slap You’ apartment of social media, where you’re safe in your room, but the moment you step out to mingle, you could be hit by anything.

A banker friend in the UK, Adeola Ojo, had sent me some skits on WhatsApp. I was watching one of the skits when Taylor opened the passenger door and sat beside me in the front while we waited for Jonathan. Taylor is in the habit of peeking at people’s phones, but I don’t mind. Mouth-watering Nigerian foods were on parade in the skit I was watching when Taylor got in the car. Some of the sumptuous meals being scooped into colourful plates came with orisirisi combinations: amala, gbegiri and ewedu swirling like a brown-and-green river; edika ikong cuddling fufu; eba serenading afang; moin moin hugging eko; cocoyam blessing bitterleaf soup; semo in tête-à-tête with oha; and ikokore – the secret of wateryam discovered by the Ijebu, rich and irresistible…while Taylor peeped away at my phone.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Animals In Human Skin

Then the wooden spoon scooped three large portions of snow-white pounded yam into a bowl, and Taylor, mouth ajar and mind afar, shouted, “Oh! Ice cream!” Yes, he screamed. If I were on the highway when he said that, only mercy could have sent us back to the land of the living from the gates of heaven.

Thank God we three got back to work in one piece. Thank God none of us took temporary accommodation in the morgue, pending autopsy, en route to burial. Thank God, no one was injured. Thank God! Thank God!

Taylor asked me why I was reeling with laughter, I couldn’t explain to him because he would not understand; yam is not an American staple. So, how would he understand pounded yam? I just laughed and laughed for it was the only thing I could do; oro buruku tohun, terin – gloom accommodates laughter. Since I was a kid, I had learnt that when yam transmutes, it becomes pounded yam – isu parada, o d’iyan; but here I am, America is teaching me something different.

When one arrives at work, one must work: ti a ba de ibi ise, a ma n se ni, says a wise saying from my roots. In African culture, labour is sacred, it’s not just a meal ticket. Be you a farmer, hunter, fisherman, weaver, herbalist – no matter the work you do, there’s dignity in your labour.

But there are some jobs I can never, ever do. The topmost of such jobs is the work of Abobaku – the one who is buried with the king. I cannot come and die with any king o. Ah! Lai, lai! The Abobaku concept espoused in yesteryear Yoruba culture leans more on class manipulation and superiority complex than preservation of cosmic balance.

In “Death and the King’s Horseman,” Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka, explores the themes of death, betrayal, cultural identity, duty, colonialism, disruption, metaphysics, etc when Elesin – the Abobaku in the play – refuses to be buried with the king.

Sadly, the royal manipulation of ancient times has transmogrified into political and religious manipulation today, with many political zombies dying for their godfathers and spiritual fathers. This is evident in the way millions of PSP – Poverty-Stricken People – stupidly support some politicians whose actions have worsened poverty in the land. It also accounts for why some religious leaders would sell bulletproof vests to their adherents while the Papas and Mamas go about in bulletproof vehicles.

I’m yet to find a description worse than national shame the manner the Bola Tinubu administration celebrated the mouthed completion of 30 kilometers of the 750km Lagos-Calabar coastal highway. Adults who dance on the streets, celebrating four percent as a pass mark, should be chained to the iroko tree, lest they stray into the market.

Religious manipulation has produced a multitude of fake pastors like David Ibiyeo-Money and Jeremiah Funfeyin, Idabosky, etc as well as their Muslim counterparts, who preach exploitative doctrines to yoke their gullible followers with fear and guilt, making them part with their money easily.

Another job I can never do, even if it pays $10m per month is the job of an ìwèfà . In ancient Yoruba times, an ìwèfà was the young male who catered to the needs of the king’s harem. To forestall cross-pollination and pollution of the blue bloodline, the ìwèfà is castrated. Slaves were mostly picked for this job. The ìwèfà is preserved to preserve the king’s pleasure. He’s the cockless cock that craves the corn in a bottle.

Moses saw the Promised Land, but he didn’t enter it with the Israelites. May that not be our portion. I can never take up the job of security official during football matches, backing the field of play while action is ongoing, and watching whether some delirious fan is going to run onto the field. In the UEFA Champions League final played at the Munich Football Arena, Munich, Germany, between PSG and Inter Milan, many stadium security officials backed the pitch and watched the fans to ensure crowd control. To back the field and watch jubilating fans celebrating or mourning the 5-0 worsting of Inter by a merciless PSG side was to suffer a fate similar to that of an ìwèfà.

There are three jobs I covet. I’ve been praying to God to give me the three jobs at the same time. The first is the job of Alhaji Abdullahi Ganduje, the hardworking national chairman of the All Progressives Congress. When I get the job, I’ll be doing absolutely nothing but just busy myself with sewing many starched agbada with pockets large enough to stuff dollars and an elephant.

The second job is that of the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Nyesom Wike. In the office, I will be croaking and causing wahala in my state, Osun, trampling on the skulls and limbs of the living and the dead, like a crazed cow in a china shop. So simple.

The third job is by no means easier than the first two. It’s the job of the Governor of Osun State, currently held by Asiwaju Jackson Nurudeen Ademola Adeleke. On the job, I’ll work hard, eat, sleep and dance to every sound like ikoto, the spinning toy, which staggers left and right, struggling hard to stay upright by itself without support. I’ll change my first name to Ajobiewe.

But there’s one job I’m unqualified to take because of my ancestry. It’s the job of the King of Iwo. However, I dare to say I’m not a US ex-convict like the present occupier of the stool, Oba Abdulrasheed Adekanbi. If I were the Oluwo, I wouldn’t have opened my mouth to tell the world that I wish to be called the Alaafin of Iwo because I know the title of the Alaafin was only a nickname that eventually became the main name. The actual title of the ruler of Oyo was Oloyo of Oyo, according to world-renowned Ifa scholar and priest, Chief Ifayemi Elebuibon.

In a telephone interview with me, Elebuibon said, “The name of the ruler of Oyo in ancient times was Olóyo Òrò-mòko (the powerful owner of Oyo Òrò who drinks pap) or Oba Eleyo Ajori Aje Olu Eni Gbara (the king who eats choice dishes cooked with shea butter).”

If I were the Oluwo, I would be content with my title, Oluwo, which means the god or lord of Iwo (Oluwa Iwo), instead of seeking the title, Alaafin, whose literal meaning – owner of a palace – is not as powerful as Oluwo.

Also, I will not rant in a viral video that Iwo was never under Ibadan when Ibadan had a standing army that defended Yoruba land, which included Iwo, against Fulani incursion. If I were the Oluwo, I’d keep my mouth shut and not belch when needless.

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

News

Nigerian Don Bags US Varsity Elite Research Fellowship

Published

31 minutes ago

September 5, 2025

Editor

A Nigerian scholar, Raphael Ebiefung, has been awarded the prestigious Grace Jordan McFadden Professor Programme Fellowship at the University of South Carolina.

A statement issued by the Institution noted that the “highly competitive fellowship” recognises academic leaders who advance knowledge and address pressing social challenges.

Ebiefung, a doctoral researcher and a one-time assistant lecturer and librarian at Top-Faith University, Nigeria, who specialises in human-AI interaction and information behaviour, is expected to join “an elite group of scholars shaping the future of higher education and interdisciplinary inquiry,” the University said.

Ebiefung, in a statement made available to The PUNCH on Friday, described the award as a “milestone that underscores Nigeria’s capacity to produce world-class scholars.”

He said, “I am deeply honoured to receive the Grace Jordan McFadden Fellowship. It is a testament to the resilience and potential of young Nigerian academics striving to make a global impact.

“My research seeks to understand the dynamics of human behaviour in relation to AI systems. This area is critical as we move deeper into the digital age,” he explained.

Nigerian scholars have continued to leave an impressive intellectual footprint across the world.

The PUNCH reported how, in August, a Nigerian scientist, Deborah Agbakwuru, was awarded the prestigious Besancon scholarship at the University of Montana.

The scholarship is one of the most distinguished graduate recognitions at the university and is awarded annually to an outstanding researcher in the biological, physical, and mathematical sciences.

Similarly, Nigerian-born researcher, Peter Ngene, won a €2m grant from the European Research Council for his project in 2024.

Ngene, an associate professor at the Debye Institute for Nanomaterials Science, was among seven researchers from Utrecht University, the Netherlands, who won the grant. According to a statement by his university, Ngene’s work focused on the “interface-mediated fast ionic conductivity in nanocomposite solid-state electrolytes.”

He said the goal was to unravel the reason why the ionic conductivity of certain solids can increase or decrease by thousands of fold at their interface with other solids.

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NBA Drags IGP Egbetokun To Court Over Tinted Glass Permit Policy

Published

2 hours ago

September 5, 2025

Editor

The Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) has filed a lawsuit against the Inspector General of Police, Kayode Egbetokun, challenging the legality of the Nigeria Police Force’s tinted glass permit policy.

The lawsuit, instituted on Wednesday, September 2, 2025, before the Federal High Court in Abuja, comes months after the IGP introduced a directive requiring motorists to apply for and renew tinted glass permits annually through a digital platform, for a fee.

In a statement released Friday, the NBA described the policy as unlawful, unconstitutional, and lacking transparency. It also raised concerns that proceeds from the exercise were being paid into a private account rather than the Federation Account.

“Despite the extension of enforcement to October 2, 2025, several motorists have reported harassment and extortion by policemen at checkpoints on the basis of this policy,” the association said, warning that it infringes on citizens’ rights to privacy, freedom of movement, and dignity.

The NBA also questioned the validity of the Motor Tinted Glass (Prohibition) Act of 1991, a military-era law under which the police has anchored the policy, stressing that it may not meet constitutional tests required in a democratic society.

The action was filed by the NBA’s Section on Public Interest and Development Law (SPIDEL), led by Prof. Paul Ananaba (SAN) and Olukunle Ogheneovo Edun (SAN). The association vowed to pursue the case “to a logical conclusion.”

READ THE FULL STATEMENT BELOW:

THE NIGERIAN BAR ASSOCIATION CHALLENGES THE LEGALITY OF THE POLICE TINTED GLASS PERMIT POLICY OF THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE

One of the key resolutions of the National Executive Council of the Nigerian Bar Association at its pre-conference NEC meeting held on the 23rd day of August 2025 in Enugu is that the NBA should challenge the legality of the Nigeria Police Force tinted permit policy in court.

In April 2025, the Inspector General of Police purportedly introduced a policy which mandated members of the Nigerian motoring public to apply for and obtain annual motor tinted glass permits from the Nigeria Police Force for a fee. The Inspector General of Police in the same month purportedly launched a digital portal (http://possap.gov.ng) through which the application for tinted glass permits were to be processed. We are being informed that the portal and the policy are to be managed by a private vendor, and there is no indication that the funds generated from the enforcement of the purported policy will go into the Federation Account.

The Inspector General of Police initially pegged the date of commencement of the enforcement of the Policy to the 1st day of June 2025, but subsequently extended the date to the 2nd day of October 2025.

Despite the fact that the date of commencement of the enforcement of the purported policy has been extended to the 2nd day of October 2025, there have been several reported cases of harassment and extortion of citizens by the Policemen in checkpoint duty on the basis of this same Policy, thus raising serious concerns of threats to and violation of citizens’ fundamental rights to dignity of human person, right to privacy, right to freedom of movement and the right to own movable property guaranteed as by the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria 1999, as amended.

Furthermore, the introduction and proposed enforcement of the tinted glass permit Policy has raised several other genuine concerns, including the validity of the Motor Tinted Glass (Prohibition) Act (Decree 1991), a military-era law under which the Police has sought refuge. A critical scrutiny of the Act would confirm concerns that the legislation may be unable to satisfy the test of a law reasonably justifiable in a democratic society under Section 45 of the 1999 Constitution as to justify reliance on it to deprive citizens of their rights to privacy and free movement.

Moreover, the fact that the legislation does not make provision for renewal of tinted glass permits or payment of fees for renewal are serious issues which clearly reveal that the Policy lacks statutory foundation.

Furthermore, that payment for the permit is being made into a private account: PARKWAY PROJECTS Account No: 4001017918 raises serious concerns of transparency surrounding the utilisation of funds realised from the exercise, given that the account is neither domiciled with the Central Bank of Nigeria nor associated with the Treasury Single Account of the Federal Government of Nigeria.

Against the above backdrop, the Nigerian Bar Association, through its Section on Public Interest and Development Law (SPIDEL) has on Wednesday the 2nd September 2025 instituted a public interest action before the Federal High Court, Abuja in Suit No: FHC/ABJ/CS/182/2025 between: The Incorporated Trustees of the Nigerian Bar Association v. The Inspector General of Police & Anor essentially challenging the legality of the tinted glass permit policy.

The NBA-SPIDEL, under the leadership of its Transition Committee Chairman, Prof. Paul Ananaba, SAN and the Section’s Public Interest Litigation Committee, chaired by Mr. Olukunle Ogheneovo Edun, SAN, whose proactive efforts were responsible for the accomplishment of this task, have been directed to pursue this litigation to a logical conclusion.

News

Peju Ogunmola’s Family Breaks Silence On Cause Of Son’s Death

Published

2 hours ago

September 5, 2025

Editor

The family of veteran actress, Peju Ogunmola, has spoken out for the first time following the passing of the actress’ only son, Sola Ayomikun Omobolanle, dismissing rumours about the circumstances of his death.

Tribune Online reports that Ayomikun, the 24-year-old son of Ogunmola and her husband, comic actor Sunday Omobolanle, popularly known as Aluwe, died on September 2, 2025.

Shortly after the news broke, unverified reports surfaced online alleging that his death was linked to a bathroom accident — claims the family has now categorically denied.

In a statement signed by Yemi Amodu on behalf of the Ogunmola family, they clarified that Ayomikun passed away in a hospital in Ibadan after a brief illness, not from any accident.

The statement read: “It is with deep sorrow that we announce the passing of our beloved son, Sola Ayomikun Omobolanle, a jewel, a precious child, and a rising star whose light shone brightly and touched many lives.

“We wish to clearly state that Sola did not pass away as a result of any bathroom accident, contrary to false reports being circulated online. He was briefly unwell and, during this period, received first-class medical care. Despite the best efforts of the medical team, he peacefully answered the call of his Creator.”

The family further condemned the speculation surrounding his death, describing it as painful and disrespectful.

“These misleading stories, suggesting that Sola died from a fall in the bathroom without help, are entirely false. They not only dishonour his memory but also bring unnecessary pain to his loved ones,” the statement added.

According to the family, Ayomikun has since been laid to rest at Eternal Rest Home in Ibadan, surrounded by relatives and close friends.

They also expressed appreciation for the support received during their period of mourning:

“At this time of grief, we are deeply grateful for the outpouring of love, prayers, and support we have received from family, friends, colleagues, and well-wishers. Your kindness has been a source of strength and comfort. We pray that no family will ever have to endure the pain of untimely loss. May the Almighty grant Sola eternal rest and grant us all the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss.”