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OPINION: President Tinubu Is Not Deaf

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Tunde Odesola

Daybreak Nigeria! All the make-up is gone now. On the forehead are lines of wrinkles. Short tears dry up midway down the sides of the nose, forming the ruthless eyeshadows of the tiger. The smile has turned into a sneer, the cheers are swallowed up by jeers, and laughter has ceased, seized by weeping and gnashing of teeth across the land. The calamity is total.

Now, the rich are also crying. Those not crying are shivering. Because nowhere is safe; palaces or huts. No one is smiling; kings or paupers. The American dollar is gripped by the spirit of Joseph’s dream, it’s now swallowing the naira. One dollar, just one dollar, is now swallowing one thousand five hundred naira. Èemò wòlú!

The land is bitter. Hunger is raining. Poverting is pollinating. Death is reigning. Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the man, who assured the citizenry, saying, “E lo f’okan bale,” appears lost. The Asiwaju called BAT also said, “Let the poor breathe,” but the air has ceased. The poor can’t inhale, the rich can’t exhale. Yoruba kings have become chickens inside a pitch-black cage, and the Fulani cobra coils up in a corner, snacking them up one by one – after its regular feast on the people. The bat of the night has lost its voice.

But, the purpose of this article isn’t to paint our country in sad colours. It’s to make you laugh and forget the woes besetting our beloved country – even if only momentarily. The expression, “Òrò burúkú tòhun tèrín,” signposts the junction called Bittersweet. Inside his regalia, the egungun must endure his fart, he dares not tear off his mask. Èewò òrìsà! The Abami Eda – Fela Anikulapo – called it Shuffering and Shmiling.

Imagine you bought a plate of rice, beans, veggies and chicken. Iya Ramota, the food seller, tells you to go home and wait for your order. Back at home, you waited all day, and Iya Ramo didn’t show up. At midnight, she shows up with a big plate and a toothpick in her hands. She picks a grain of rice with the toothpick and puts it in your mouth. She also remembers to put in a grain of beans before she leaves with the food. You jump up, shouting Up Iya Ramo!

FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Abacha Protests In Heaven, Begs To Return

Isn’t this what you do when you shout ‘Up NEPA!’ after being ripped off by the Power Holding Company of Nigeria – when you should be shouting, ‘wahala, wahala, wahala’ – in the voice of that irritant musician in Sango, Ogun State, whose wisecracks overflows from a portable suitcase? Isn’t that shuffering and shmiling?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word in the English dictionary. You can count how many letters it has, good luck. But don’t try to pronounce it, please. I don’t want to be held responsible for missing teeth, biko. Do not say I didn’t warn you o, ehn-ehn, because Nigeria is a now country where a packet of unadulterated antibiotic costs between N45,000 and N60,000 when the minimum wage of over 104 million citizens remains N30,000, according to the World Bank figures.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a fibrotic lung disease caused ​​when you breathe in chemical dust such as silica, coal dust or asbestos. Yes, asbestos! Asbestos is a potential killer outlawed for building in developed countries.

Silicosis is another name for pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Yet another synonym for it is ‘black lung’. It’s also called pneumoconiosis. When I consider the various names of the disease, I see the developed world running with the simplified versions, researching, while Nigeria, the h(r)ope of the black man, smokes on a keg of gunpowder.

FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: When I Forged My Exam Record

Growing up, I listened to the sweet voice of King Sunny Ade, singing “Ile o labo sinmi oko…,” a song he did about his journey to London, extolling the importance of home over the farmstead. Kennery King, Orlando Owoh, also did a song, ‘Ero ki yeye mi,” in praise of home. Before KSA and Orlando’s songs, Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey had done a song about the importance of home.

Home is a place of refuge. It’s a stockade to leave and return to after toilings afield. Many years ago, Nigerians in the Diaspora considered Nigeria as home, and their foreign abodes as farmsteads because home is where you feel secure and loved, wanted. The reverse is the case now. Nigeria has turned into oko (farmstead) while foreign abodes have become homes.

About 700 years ago, Africa was invaded for slaves by the West. About 500 years later, slavery was abolished and a new form of slavery called colonisation started. Though Nigeria gained independence from British colonial rule in 1960, the domineering influence of the British and America over the country is still strong, owing to corruption and misgovernance by Nigerian rulers.

Nigeria’s former slave masters have long departed, and the land has been despoiled. Nigerians themselves are the ones now begging to go and be slaves in foreign lands. They risk lives and limbs, stowing away on planes and ships because the country is no longer at ease. What would Nigerian children taken or born abroad be? Where would they call home? Nigeria or foreign lands?

FROM THE AUTHOR: Letter To Governor Ademola Adeleke

Last week, I shook my head when I heard that a friend of mine, in a bid to erase his family’s link with a particular Yoruba river, had changed his name to reflect his Christian religion. But Jesus Christ never told any of his disciples to change their family names which reflected their pagan histories.

Two days ago, Madison Academy in Alabama, USA, announced the return of Mustang Mud Run 5K, calling on interested participants to reserve their spots. The announcement says, “Prepare to have fun and put your skills to the test in North Alabama’s Mud Run. The obstacle course, situated on the campus of Madison Academy, will challenge participants with 18-22 obstacles along and through Indian Creek and the adjacent wooded areas. The family-friendly, fun mud run is open to anyone over the age of 12. Runners are expected to slip, slide, climb, jump, slog, and swing their way to a fun finish.”

Were this event native to Nigeria, many zealots, who have made pastors and imams their gods, would say the sport belonged to the devil, forgetting that they themselves are from mud! They would cast and bind and speak in tongues.

The zealots, their pastors and imams won’t pray hail and brimstones on the political leadership that has refused to hand over criminal cop, Abba Kyari, to the US, for trial over alleged involvement in wire fraud. Kyari, while on suspension over involvement in wire fraud, was caught on video negotiating the release of 25kg of cocaine for $61,000. He remains a member of the Nigeria Police Force to date, earning a salary.

It’s funny how we run this type of unjust country and still expect birds to chirp like birds, and rats squeak like rats. Ka ma ri ni Poolu wi. Apostle Paul says such an expectation is a mirage.

So, I hissed when Fuji singer, Wasiu Ayinde, called on President Tinubu in a viral video, telling him that Nigerians are shuffering. If the President doesn’t know by now that Nigerians are living in the worst of times, and it takes a bard to call his attention to it, it’s time to wind down the country and give it back to Britain or America for colonisation. But I would prefer the Chinese. I love their language.

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Nollywood Actress, Kate Henshaw Calls For Establishment Of More PHCs In Bauchi

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Nigerian Nollywood actress, Kate Henshaw has called for the establishment of more Primary Healthcare Centres in Bauchi state to enhance immunization exercise in the state.

The UNICEF ambassador made the call in Bauchi on Wednesday while briefing newsmen on her field trip with the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) Bauchi Field Office to observe immunization exercises in Bauchi state.

Kate Henshaw, who was very impressed with the turnout of women for the vaccine in the state, commended UNICEF and the Bauchi state government for their commitment to fight malnutrition and improve the health status of mothers and children in the state.

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The 2008 Africa Movie Academy Award winner said “there is the need for the establishment of more Primary Healthcare Centres because I could guess that maybe the distance that the women have to travel in order to get care or to take their children could be a barrier.

“Also, I observed that the mode of transportation is motorcycles and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable carrying my baby on a bike going all the way.

“So, there has to be a better incentive which is bringing the care to them closer. Even if you will have to bring skilled workers to them at home but also make sure that they come to the hospital to deliver

“Bring it closer to them so that they don’t have an excuse not to bring their child either for nutritional stuff or immunization.

READ ALSO:UNICEF Urges women To Shun Home Child Delivery

“More of the community health centres and primary healthcare centres closer to the people is important”.

Also, Dr Rane Tushar, UNICEF Chief of Field Office, Bauchi commended the medical practitioners in the state for amplifying its intervention and sought for more collaboration.

He urged them to keep sensitizing mothers through their reportage, the importance of immunization both the routine and the periodical on their children.

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World Earth Day: Environmentalist Advocates End to Plastic Wastes to Save Mother Earth

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In commemoration of the 2024 World Earth Day, a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO) – Health of Mother Earth Foundation (HOMEF), has called for a drastic reduction in the use of plastics to save planet Earth from suffocation.

World Earth Day is an annual event celebrated April 22, and it is designed to shed light on serious environmental problems faced from the climate crisis to air pollution and deforestation. This year’s World Earth Day was themed: ‘Planet Vs Plastic.’

In commemoration of the Day, Dr Nnimmo Bassey, Executive Director, HOMEF, in a statement made available to INFO DAILY by Kome Odhomor, Media/Communication Lead, HOMEF, advocated for urgent action to ban the production and
usage of single-use plastics.

Bassey, while calling on everyone to be involved in efforts to kick out plastics, urged humans to build a liveable future for humans, other beings, and natural systems.

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He said: “World Earth Day reminds us as humans that the Earth is ours to protect and preserve but over time humans have abandoned their roles in protecting the planet because of selfishness and drive for profit.

“We stand united in our fight against non-biodegradable waste pollution. Our addiction to single-use plastics suffocates the planet.

“Plastics can take hundreds of years to decompose, clog our water bodies, and cause harmful impacts as a result of their chemical composition. Sadly, the
world is literally a plastic civilisation due to a vested interest in hydrocarbons and ease of application.”

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He continued: “Now is a critical time to choose between planet and plastic. Good sense tells us to choose the planet, our Mother Earth that sustains all lives. A poor sense driven by profit urges humans to choose plastics because of the ease they bring, despite the harmful impacts on our health, climate, and overall health of the planet.

“As we mark World Earth Day 2024, the alarm must be sounded that it is time to uproot plastics from their fossil base or be ready to be turned
into plastic humans living plastic lives and heading to an infernal
plastic future. At HOMEF, we are all for the planet, people, and all
life forms,” Bassey said.

The Executive Director noted that research has shown that 380 million tonnes of plastic are now produced every year, while only nine percent of plastic ever produced has been recycled.

He added: “Campaigns around the world calling for a 60 percent reduction in plastic by 2040 are commendable and worthy of support.

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“At Health of Mother Earth Foundation (HOMEF), we believe in the intrinsic Rights of Mother Earth and the rights of humans and other
beings to be respected and to live in dignity.

“It is time to build up courage and to preserve and protect our health,
and our livelihoods by embracing alternatives that are sustainable,
healthy, and safe for the planet. We must stop all forms of destructive
extractive activities in Nigeria, Africa, and the World.

“The Planet vs Plastics campaign is a call to arms, a demand that we act now to end the scourge of plastics and safeguard the health of every living being on our planet.

“We are submerged in a sea of plastic wastes, from our creeks to the ocean. It’s time we did better!”

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Obaseki Warns Against Open Grazing, Solicits Stakeholders’ Support

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Governor Godwin Obaseki of Edo State has said the ban on open grazing in the state still remains, warning that anyone found wanting will be made to face the full wrath of the law.

The governor said this while addressing stakeholders during an interactive session on the Edo State Regional Development and Benin City Master Plan, held at Iguobazuwa, Ovia South-West Local Government Area of the State.

Obaseki who reassured the government’s commitment to the safety and security of residents, called for the collaboration and support of all stakeholders to ensure a peaceful, secure and prosperous Edo State.

He said, “Any herdsman in our bush without permission is working against the law of our State, and anything that happens, they can’t blame anyone.

READ ALSO: Edo Police Parade 21 Suspects Over Alleged Murder, Cultism, Pipeline Vandalism

“Let us be sure that nobody gives that person the permission to enter our forest and if permission will be granted, let us know the type of permission given to them to come into our bushes or forest to graze with their cattle.

“Open grazing is banned in Edo State. If they are in your forest, let us know where they are because we have police and vigilantes who will help us get them out through a number we will give you to call.”

Obaseki added, “Anybody that wants to do ranching business should contact you, the community people and you will decide on the land to use and method of feeding their cattle. They should do the business with you and not invade our forest indiscriminately as if there are no owners. The forest and bushes belong us.”

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