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OPINION: President Tinubu Is Not Deaf

Published

3 years ago

February 9, 2024

Editor

Tunde Odesola

Daybreak Nigeria! All the make-up is gone now. On the forehead are lines of wrinkles. Short tears dry up midway down the sides of the nose, forming the ruthless eyeshadows of the tiger. The smile has turned into a sneer, the cheers are swallowed up by jeers, and laughter has ceased, seized by weeping and gnashing of teeth across the land. The calamity is total.

Now, the rich are also crying. Those not crying are shivering. Because nowhere is safe; palaces or huts. No one is smiling; kings or paupers. The American dollar is gripped by the spirit of Joseph’s dream, it’s now swallowing the naira. One dollar, just one dollar, is now swallowing one thousand five hundred naira. Èemò wòlú!

The land is bitter. Hunger is raining. Poverting is pollinating. Death is reigning. Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the man, who assured the citizenry, saying, “E lo f’okan bale,” appears lost. The Asiwaju called BAT also said, “Let the poor breathe,” but the air has ceased. The poor can’t inhale, the rich can’t exhale. Yoruba kings have become chickens inside a pitch-black cage, and the Fulani cobra coils up in a corner, snacking them up one by one – after its regular feast on the people. The bat of the night has lost its voice.

But, the purpose of this article isn’t to paint our country in sad colours. It’s to make you laugh and forget the woes besetting our beloved country – even if only momentarily. The expression, “Òrò burúkú tòhun tèrín,” signposts the junction called Bittersweet. Inside his regalia, the egungun must endure his fart, he dares not tear off his mask. Èewò òrìsà! The Abami Eda – Fela Anikulapo – called it Shuffering and Shmiling.

Imagine you bought a plate of rice, beans, veggies and chicken. Iya Ramota, the food seller, tells you to go home and wait for your order. Back at home, you waited all day, and Iya Ramo didn’t show up. At midnight, she shows up with a big plate and a toothpick in her hands. She picks a grain of rice with the toothpick and puts it in your mouth. She also remembers to put in a grain of beans before she leaves with the food. You jump up, shouting Up Iya Ramo!

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Isn’t this what you do when you shout ‘Up NEPA!’ after being ripped off by the Power Holding Company of Nigeria – when you should be shouting, ‘wahala, wahala, wahala’ – in the voice of that irritant musician in Sango, Ogun State, whose wisecracks overflows from a portable suitcase? Isn’t that shuffering and shmiling?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word in the English dictionary. You can count how many letters it has, good luck. But don’t try to pronounce it, please. I don’t want to be held responsible for missing teeth, biko. Do not say I didn’t warn you o, ehn-ehn, because Nigeria is a now country where a packet of unadulterated antibiotic costs between N45,000 and N60,000 when the minimum wage of over 104 million citizens remains N30,000, according to the World Bank figures.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a fibrotic lung disease caused when you breathe in chemical dust such as silica, coal dust or asbestos. Yes, asbestos! Asbestos is a potential killer outlawed for building in developed countries.

Silicosis is another name for pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Yet another synonym for it is ‘black lung’. It’s also called pneumoconiosis. When I consider the various names of the disease, I see the developed world running with the simplified versions, researching, while Nigeria, the h(r)ope of the black man, smokes on a keg of gunpowder.

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Growing up, I listened to the sweet voice of King Sunny Ade, singing “Ile o labo sinmi oko…,” a song he did about his journey to London, extolling the importance of home over the farmstead. Kennery King, Orlando Owoh, also did a song, ‘Ero ki yeye mi,” in praise of home. Before KSA and Orlando’s songs, Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey had done a song about the importance of home.

Home is a place of refuge. It’s a stockade to leave and return to after toilings afield. Many years ago, Nigerians in the Diaspora considered Nigeria as home, and their foreign abodes as farmsteads because home is where you feel secure and loved, wanted. The reverse is the case now. Nigeria has turned into oko (farmstead) while foreign abodes have become homes.

About 700 years ago, Africa was invaded for slaves by the West. About 500 years later, slavery was abolished and a new form of slavery called colonisation started. Though Nigeria gained independence from British colonial rule in 1960, the domineering influence of the British and America over the country is still strong, owing to corruption and misgovernance by Nigerian rulers.

Nigeria’s former slave masters have long departed, and the land has been despoiled. Nigerians themselves are the ones now begging to go and be slaves in foreign lands. They risk lives and limbs, stowing away on planes and ships because the country is no longer at ease. What would Nigerian children taken or born abroad be? Where would they call home? Nigeria or foreign lands?

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Last week, I shook my head when I heard that a friend of mine, in a bid to erase his family’s link with a particular Yoruba river, had changed his name to reflect his Christian religion. But Jesus Christ never told any of his disciples to change their family names which reflected their pagan histories.

Two days ago, Madison Academy in Alabama, USA, announced the return of Mustang Mud Run 5K, calling on interested participants to reserve their spots. The announcement says, “Prepare to have fun and put your skills to the test in North Alabama’s Mud Run. The obstacle course, situated on the campus of Madison Academy, will challenge participants with 18-22 obstacles along and through Indian Creek and the adjacent wooded areas. The family-friendly, fun mud run is open to anyone over the age of 12. Runners are expected to slip, slide, climb, jump, slog, and swing their way to a fun finish.”

Were this event native to Nigeria, many zealots, who have made pastors and imams their gods, would say the sport belonged to the devil, forgetting that they themselves are from mud! They would cast and bind and speak in tongues.

The zealots, their pastors and imams won’t pray hail and brimstones on the political leadership that has refused to hand over criminal cop, Abba Kyari, to the US, for trial over alleged involvement in wire fraud. Kyari, while on suspension over involvement in wire fraud, was caught on video negotiating the release of 25kg of cocaine for $61,000. He remains a member of the Nigeria Police Force to date, earning a salary.

It’s funny how we run this type of unjust country and still expect birds to chirp like birds, and rats squeak like rats. Ka ma ri ni Poolu wi. Apostle Paul says such an expectation is a mirage.

So, I hissed when Fuji singer, Wasiu Ayinde, called on President Tinubu in a viral video, telling him that Nigerians are shuffering. If the President doesn’t know by now that Nigerians are living in the worst of times, and it takes a bard to call his attention to it, it’s time to wind down the country and give it back to Britain or America for colonisation. But I would prefer the Chinese. I love their language.

News

IELTS Speaking: How Nigerian Candidates Can Improve Their Band Score

Published

3 hours ago

September 25, 2026

Editor

For most Nigerian candidates applying to study, work or migrate abroad, the IELTS Speaking test is the single most nerve-wracking 11 to 14 minutes of the entire exam.

Unlike Listening or Reading, there is no answer sheet to fall back on, and the pressure of speaking directly to a trained examiner can make it easy to freeze or, just as damagingly, over-prepare until you sound robotic.

The good news is that the test is graded against four public, named criteria, rather than a vague impression of how confident you sounded. Understanding exactly what each criterion rewards can therefore be one of the fastest ways to improve your band score.

Understand what the examiner is listening for

Every Speaking test is scored equally across four categories: Fluency and Coherence, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy, and Pronunciation, each worth 25 percent of the final band.

Fluency and Coherence measures whether you can keep talking without excessive hesitation, and whether your ideas connect logically rather than jumping around.

Lexical Resource measures the range and precision of your vocabulary, including whether you can paraphrase a question instead of repeating the examiner’s own words back at them.

Grammatical range and accuracy looks at how varied and accurate your sentence structures are, from simple statements to more complex clauses using words like although, because, or if.

Pronunciation covers clarity, stress, and intonation, not whether you sound like a native speaker from a particular country.

This last point matters enormously for Nigerian candidates specifically: a Nigerian accent does not lower your score. IELTS examiners are trained to assess intelligibility, not accent neutrality, and both the British Council and IELTS Australia explicitly confirm that speaking with an accent is not penalised as long as your pronunciation is clear enough to be understood without strain.

What actually costs marks is mumbling, running words together so meaning is lost, or shifting stress patterns so unpredictably that the examiner has to work to follow you. Focus your practice on clarity, not on erasing an accent that was never the problem.

Never memorise answers

One of the biggest mistakes candidates can make in the Speaking test is relying on a memorised response, particularly in Part 2, the two-minute monologue based on a task card.

Examiners listen to many candidates and are trained to recognise rehearsed language, whether it is a pre-written answer or a generic template adapted to whatever topic appears.

A scripted answer can sound stiff, contain unnaturally advanced vocabulary that does not match the rest of the candidate’s speech, or ignore the specific details of the task card in favour of prepared content.

When an examiner detects this, it can affect your Fluency and Coherence score because genuine coherence comes from responding directly to what was asked, rather than delivering a monologue prepared in advance.

The solution is not to avoid preparation. Instead, prepare a structure rather than memorising sentences.

For Part 2, practise a flexible structure that covers the setup, specific details, a turning point or reflection, and what you think about the subject now. Then fill that structure with fresh details based on the topic you receive on test day.

This gives you the organisation examiners reward without the unnatural delivery of a memorised script.

Use natural fillers and steady pace, not dramatic slowdown

It is perfectly acceptable to pause briefly to think. Natural fillers such as “That’s an interesting question” or “Let me think about that” can give you time to organise a more complex response without necessarily costing you marks.

Used sparingly, such phrases can sound like normal discourse markers rather than signs of weakness.

However, dramatically slowing down your speech to avoid mistakes is not a good strategy.

Multiple examiner-facing sources emphasise that speaking too slowly can be just as problematic as speaking too quickly. Fluency and Coherence partly involve how naturally your language flows, and an overly cautious pace can make your speech sound unnatural or uncertain.

The target is a steady, natural pace — similar to how you would explain something to a friend. You do not need to race through your answers, but you also should not deliberately stretch every sentence.

If you genuinely do not understand a question, do not guess or pretend you do. Politely asking the examiner to repeat or rephrase the question is explicitly stated by the British Council to have no effect on your score.

That is safer than answering a question you did not understand, because an irrelevant or confused response can affect your coherence more than a brief request for clarification.

Use idioms only when they actually fit

Rare or idiomatic vocabulary can contribute to a strong Lexical Resource score, as the official descriptors reward the natural use of less common and idiomatic vocabulary.

The key word, however, is naturally.

Using an idiom simply because you memorised it from a study list can work against you if it does not fit the context, is mispronounced or sounds rehearsed.

An expression that is forced into an answer can make your speech sound unnatural and may suggest that you are relying on memorised language rather than demonstrating genuine vocabulary range.

One or two well-placed idiomatic expressions used correctly and naturally can therefore be more useful than filling your answers with several memorised phrases.

If you are not confident about an expression or it does not come to you naturally, use a clear, simple sentence instead. A natural response is preferable to a complicated phrase that is confused, forced or mispronounced.

FAQs

Does a strong Nigerian accent negatively impact an applicant’s final IELTS speaking score?

No. Examiners assess pronunciation for clarity and intelligibility, not for how closely you sound like a native speaker of a specific variety of English. A Nigerian accent is not penalised as long as your speech is clear enough to be easily understood; unclear articulation or unpredictable stress patterns are what actually cost marks, regardless of accent.

What should a candidate do if they completely misunderstand the examiner’s question?

Ask the examiner to repeat or rephrase it. This is explicitly permitted and, according to the British Council, does not affect your score. Guessing at an answer to a question you didn’t understand is far riskier, since it can produce an off-topic or confused response that damages your Coherence score.

How does using rare idioms correctly boost the Lexical Resource score in the IELTS exam?

Correctly used idiomatic language demonstrates the range and flexibility that the official Band 7 and above descriptors specifically call for, which can meaningfully lift a Lexical Resource score. The key word is correctly: a forced, mispronounced, or contextually awkward idiom has the opposite effect, since examiners are trained to notice when an expression sounds rehearsed or doesn’t fit the sentence around it.
(TRIBUNE)

News

Group Commends COREN For Training Engineers In Engineering Failure, Forensic Investigation In Nigeria

Published

7 hours ago

September 25, 2026

Editor

Foundation for the Development of Shira Community (FODESCO) in Shira Local Government Area of Bauchi state has commended the Council for the Regulation of Engineering in Nigeria (COREN) for conducting a pioneer training on Engineering Failure and Forensic Investigation (EFFI) for 50 licensed engineering practitioners across the country.

Engr. Shehu Wakili, the Chairman of the Foundation made the commendation in an interview with newsmen on Friday.

According to him, the training which was conducted by COREN in collaboration with the Nigerian Building and Road Research Institute (NBRRI) and the Chartered Institute of Forensic and Certified Fraud Investigators of Nigeria (CIFCFIN), was to equip engineers and professionals from academia, industry, and government MDAs with practical skills to investigate infrastructure failures and prevent recurring building collapses.

He added that the training was also to build a pool of trained specialists who could investigate building collapses and other engineering failures, determine their root causes, and recommend measures to prevent recurrence, saying that the trainees would form part of a register of trained and certified forensic engineering investigators.

He further lauded COREN for the subsequent induction of its member, Engr. Abdullahi Muhammad MNSE, who among the 50 participants, hails from Bauchi state as a Chartered Engineering Forensic and Failure Investigator (CEFFI), certified by CIFCFIN.

“FODESCO is proud of him and wishes him well in all his endeavours”, he prayed.

Wakili, also the Chairman, Nigerian Society of Engineers (NSE), Bauchi state chapter, revealed that the training covered failure analysis, forensic investigation methodologies, risk assessment, and professional reporting.

“This initiative supports broader efforts by COREN and the National Assembly to enforce stricter building codes, identify quackery, and ensure accountability across the construction sector,” he said.

News

NBS: Lagos, Rivers, Enugu Top List As States Generated N5.15trn In 2025

Published

7 hours ago

September 25, 2026

Editor

The National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) has disclosed that 36 states and the FCT generated a total of ₦5.15 trillion in 2025, indicating a growth rate of 40.93 percent from ₦3.65 trillion recorded in 2024.

NBS stated on Thursday citing the Nigeria Revenue Service ( NRS) as source of its information that Lagos emerged top on the list of states with the highest revenue generation in the sum of ₦1.77 trillion.

“Followed by Rivers state ₦428.42 billion and Enugu with IGR record of ₦406.77 billion in the period referenced.”

The. Bureau said Yobe, Ebonyi and Sokoto states reported the least revenues with ₦16.01 billion, ₦17.18 billion and ₦20.48 billion, respectively.

According to NBS, Pay As You Earn (PAYE) was the most tax revenue recorded during the period, valued at ₦2.64 trillion, representing 69.51 percent of the total tax revenue collected, while capital gains tax was the least with ₦12.40 billion while the share of total tax revenue to total IGR was 73.64 percent nationally.

“Other states and their share of IGR are FCT – N356.34 billion, Ogun – N252.36 billion, Delta – N202.49 billion, Edo – N132.21 billion, Oyo – N103.25 billion and Kano – N102.26 billion.

“Ten other states in lowest category of IGR include Yobe – N16.01 billion, Ebonyi – N17.18 billion, Sokoto – N20.48 billion, Taraba – N28.16 billion ; Benue – N29.57 billion, Zamfara – N30.07 billion, Kebbi – N31.23 billion, Nasarawa – N32.57 billion, Adamawa – N33.76 billion andcBorno – N36.36 billion “.

NBS noted that the states generated their most and least revenue from taxes and other government sources. “PAYE was the dominant revenue source nationally, generating N2.64 trillion and accounting for 69.51% of total tax revenue for the year.

“Other sources included direct assessment, road taxes, stamp duties, withholding taxes and capital gains tax, which was the smallest contributor at N12.40 billion,” the Bureau stated.