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OPINION: The Day Alcohol Showed Me Shégè (1)

Published

11 months ago

January 10, 2025

Tunde Odesola

I told this true-life story to my children a long time ago. But I censored its indecent climax because of their young age. Today, I’m going to tell it in full because they have come of age. I don’t mean this story to be a comedy. I mean it to be a piece over which guardians, parents, teachers, mentors and all can chew the cud and consider which tactic is more effective in child upbringing: spare the rod or spank the child?

Growing up under my parents’ roof, the Holy Bible was worshipped. If it mistakenly falls down from your hands, you must fast for a day. That was the unwritten law enforced by my mother. Every child owned a Bible and a bed. Your Bible must be under or beside your pillow, and your bed must be neat because father and mother drummed it into our ears that cleanliness was next to godliness.

A verse in the Book of Proverbs 13:24 that says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” was a refrain within the family. Its corollary in the same Book of Proverbs 22:15 (New Living Translation) says, “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, physical discipline will drive it far away.” In its version, God’s Word Translation of the Bible says, “Foolishness is firmly attached to a child’s heart. Spanking will remove it far from him,” and the New King James version says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

But my literate parents will never quote any of the English interpretations. They prefer the Yoruba version which talks about the MADNESS in the heart of a child and the need for exorcising it with a cane: “Àyà omodé nì wèrè dì sí, egba ló máa túu.” I think they quote the Yoruba version to amplify the lodging of madness in a child’s mind and justify their deployment of the cane.

Therefore, canes were part of our home’s furnishings but many of the canes vanished into the thin air without me knowing anything about how they disappeared, I swear.

In the Holy Quran, Prophet Mohammed (SAW) orders the beating of a child for purposes of correction.

Because I was growing like a rampant corn stalk in raining season, mother soon abandoned caning me as each flogging episode was akin to wrestling that left her with body aches. Then, she employed ìfótí olóòyì aka brain-resetting slaps but when I blocked her slaps repeatedly with my bony arms and her wrists hurt, she jettisoned that idea, too. She finally resorted to verbal chastisement and threat, “You wait till your father returns from work and see if I won’t report you to him.” And she always made good her threat.

My father was predictable. The first thing he does when he comes back from work is go on his knees and pray. The second thing he does is get a bath. Food is the third. If my mother told him about my sins as soon as he got home, he would order me to stoop down while he got a bath and ate. As a child, I used to think the punishment was called ‘stood down’.

It’s the foolish that gets famished when fasting, goes a Yoruba proverb. When my father was out of sight, I would sit on the floor and listen attentively to pick up his footfalls. If my mother passed by and saw me observing the punishment in breach, she would complain loudly so my father could hear I wasn’t doing what he ordered me to do. Double wàhálà.

At times, when I rush to bed before nightfall in order to evade the arrival of my father, my mother would barge into my room without knocking, upon the arrival of her husband, and peel my blanket off me, announcing with relish, “Daddy e ti de. O n pe e” – “Your daddy is back, he’s calling you.”

To picture the state of my mind whenever I ‘stood down’ waiting for sentencing is to imagine the mind of a goat cornered by a lion. I was the stubborn goat, my father was the lion.

That was the kind of house that produced me. A house of five male children and a female. A house that requites good deeds with rewards and punishes wrongdoing severely. I remember everything clearly. I remember we, the children, had Chopper bicycles. I remember plucking out my eyelashes and putting them on my head as a fetish for my parents to forget my wrongdoings and not punish me. Sometimes, it worked; sometimes, it didn’t. In all this, I always remembered the son of whom I am.

But, reminiscing on my secondary school days, I arrived at the intersection of doubt as to my long-held belief that sparing the rod spoils the child. When you’re raised in my kind of home, the tendency is for you to agree that the use of the rod was divine and productive.

However, I have some doubts today. Today, I’d rather a cane was kept at home, used rarely, while moral suasion took centre stage in child upbringing.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Cockroach Called Dele Farotimi (2)

I lay the validity of my argument on this story below.

At the Archbishop Aggey Memorial Secondary School, Mushin, we were four bright friends – Akeem Adigun, Akinade Ayodeji, Jide Oladimeji and my humble self.

We had some other friends who were not bright. When examination approached, some of my struggling friends would ask me a favour – to sit with me during the exam period. But only one student could sit beside me in an examination. So, to grant their requests, I devised a plan that we all should sit in the same row, with a bright student pairing with a dull student.

In the early 80s, there was an Italian wrestling duo – Gino Brito and Dino Bravo – called the ‘Love Brothers’ of the International Wrestling Federation fame. We adopted their name, Love Brothers.

My house was a favourite rendezvous for the Love Brothers because it offered eat-in food and grocery takeaways from my mother. One day, we carried our sàárà food offering past the mosque when we went to Akeem’s house.

Akeem was living with his foster parents in a three-storey building right at Olorunsogo bus stop, Mushin. We all pass by his house to and fro school.

On this particular ‘ojo buruku esu gbomimu’ day, I think someone said he wanted to drink water. Instead of waiting downstairs for Akeem to go and bring water, we all ran to the topmost floor.

Instead of allowing Akeem to bring water from their tall refrigerator, some of us ran towards it, each curious rat wanting to behold the occupants of the refrigerator. When Akeem opened the fridge, we saw water, food and more.

We saw rows and rows of assorted beers imprisoned in the bowel of the refrigerator, begging to be set free. And we did set some beers free together with the pots of rice and soup in the refrigerator. We all departed happily thereafter.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: The Cockroach Called Dele Farotimi (1)

The next morning, I saw Akeem in front of the assembly ground while students were singing devotional hymns. He wasn’t standing alone. His foster mother was beside him. Right behind them were some fearsome male teachers. Akeem was staring at the floor.

After the day’s announcements were made and the national anthem and pledge were rendered, students sang as they marched to their various classrooms. The first to go were Class One students of various arms, followed by Classes Two and Three students.

The die is cast. I watched him pick out his fellow criminals – Jide, Akin etc – as they were marching to class. Quickly, I sneaked from the rows of the knicker-wearing junior classes, where I belonged, to Class Four row, which was trousers-wearing.

Luckily for me, some Class Four students wear shorts even though the right uniform for them to wear was a light blue shirt over dark blue trousers.

Life and its absurdities. The dream of every Class Three male student was to wear trousers when they got to Class Four, yet some Class Four male students refused to wear trousers when the handle of the machete was in their hands. Left-Right! Leff-Rai!! I marched with senior students past Akeem who wasn’t expecting me in Class Four.

After escaping the assembly crackdown, I fled to the school farm. Akeem’s co-conspirators, who were not ferreted out at the assembly ground, were picked up in the classroom. Although no bounty was placed on my head, a manhunt was declared for me while I nestled under cocoyam leaves on the school farm, pretending to be reading.

Intelligence soon reached the staffroom and a crack team of hefty seniors was dispatched to arrest me dead or alive. To date, I do not know the Judas who sold me out. When emissaries from the staffroom stormed the school farm, I submitted myself like a lamb, and they led me to Golgotha.

To be continued.

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

News

VIDEO: Jonathan Breaks Silence On Guinea-Bissau’s Military Takeover

Published

4 hours ago

November 29, 2025

Editor

Former President Goodluck Jonathan has broken silence following the recent military takeover in Guinea-Bissau, describing it as a conventional coup, insisting it was “maybe a ceremonial coup” given the strange manner in which it unfolded.

Jonathan, who spoke extensively in an interview with Symfoni posted on YouTube on Friday, said he felt compelled to address the media to thank Nigerians for their concern and to clarify what truly happened while he was in Bissau as head of the West African Elders Forum Election Observation Mission.

“You know, since I left office, I’ve always been scared of talking to the media,” he said. “But in this particular case, I decided to speak… first and foremost, to thank Nigerians for the show of empathy, the encouragement.”

Gunfire erupted around key government buildings in Bissau on Wednesday, with soldiers claiming they had “total control” of the country and followed by curfew, border closures and the detention of top government and security officials.

In another development, Tribune Online reports that ousted President, Umaro Sissoco Embaló, flew to Senegal after the intervention of the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS).

Reacting to the development, Jonathan however suggested the situation defied all known patterns of a coup.

“I wouldn’t call it a coup. It was not a coup. I would just say, for want of a better word, maybe it was a ceremonial coup,” he said. “For two things: It is the president, President Embaló, who announced the coup. Later, the military men came up to address the world that they were in charge of everywhere.”

He continued, “Then Embaló had already announced the coup, which is strange. Not only announcing the coup, but Embaló, while the coup took place, was using his phone and addressing media organisations across the world that he had been arrested.”

The former president, drawing from his experience as a Nigerian and a regional mediator, said the events were unlike anything he had seen.

“I’m a Nigerian close to 70, and I know how they keep heads of state when a coup takes place. Recently, I was a mediator in Mali, and within that period, we had a military coup. The military doesn’t take over governments, and the sitting president that they overthrew would be allowed to be addressing press conferences and announcing that he has been arrested. Why does this happen? Who is fooling whom?”

Meanwhile, Nigeria’s Federal Government had earlier condemned the development as “a serious threat to democracy and regional stability,” and confirmed Jonathan’s safe evacuation by a special flight alongside his delegation.

Jonathan used the interview to call on ECOWAS and the African Union to promptly announce results of the election that was underway in Guinea-Bissau before the military disrupted the process.

“They have the results because AU and ECOWAS officials were in all the regions when the results were collated. They cannot change those results. They should tally all those results and announce them. They cannot force the military out. They must announce and let the world know who won that election.”

He stressed that the integrity of elections must be upheld in West Africa, recalling his experience overseeing Côte d’Ivoire’s contentious 2010 presidential poll.

“A similar thing happened in Côte d’Ivoire when I was the Chair of the Authority of Heads of State and Government of ECOWAS,” he said. He narrated how Laurent Gbagbo and Alassane Ouattara went into a second round after neither met the 50% +1 requirement.

“In the second round, Ouattara then got more votes than Gbagbo. And Gbagbo said he was not going, that he won the election,” Jonathan recounted. “But all the observers in the international community said Ouattara won the election. And we in ECOWAS said, well, you are our colleague, but you have to go.”

According to him, his insistence on respecting the will of the people ensured a peaceful transfer of power at the time.

“I stood my ground, and Ouattara was sworn in,” he said.

Jonathan reiterated that Guinea-Bissau’s situation was “disturbing” to anyone who believes in democracy and insisted that respecting election results remains the only path to stability in the region.

Watch video here

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(VIDEO) Obasanjo To Tinubu: Why Are We Negotiating With Bandits?

Published

5 hours ago

November 29, 2025

Editor

Former Nigeria’s President, Olusegun Obasanjo, has berated what he described as seeming failure of the President Bola Ahmed Tinubu-led administration to wipe out bandits terrorising the country, questioning the rationale behind the government reportedly negotiating with armed groups.

The former President said this on Friday while speaking at the Plateau Unity Christmas and Praise Festival, ongoing at the Ten Commandments Prayer Altar, Dwei-Du, Jos South LGA of Plateau State.

According to him, Nigerians are at liberty to seek help from the international community if their own government fails in its core responsibility.

He noted that despite Nigerians, across regions and religions being killed, the Nigerian government seems incapable of protecting its citizens, describing the killings as “nonsensical.”

“We are part of the world community. If our government cannot do it, we have the right to call on the international community to do for us what our government cannot do for us. If we are being killed, it is the responsibility of government to do something about it.

“We should ask government to do what it has to do at all levels. We should ask our leaders to do what they have to do at all levels, in all walks of life,” he said.

Continuing, Obasanjo stated that the world is advanced enough for anyone to hide anywhere and go scot-free after committing a crime.

“In these days of technology, there should be nobody hiding anywhere after he has committed a crime that cannot be seen with the present day satellite,” he added.

Recalling his time as Nigeria’s President, Obasanjo said the opportunity of drones has now made it easy for anyone to be picked out from anywhere unlike his time.

“Before I left government, I knew we had the capacity to pick up anybody in Nigeria. The capacity we didn’t have then was that, after we had identified and located such a criminal, we didn’t have the capacity to pick him up without moving on land or by air. Now we have capacity with drones. You can take them out. Why are we not doing that?

“Why are we negotiating? And after government has paid these criminals, government denies!

“We should appeal to our government to do what needs to be done to stop Nigerians being killed.

“We are tired of being killed, and we want the killing of Nigerians, whether they are Christians or Muslims or pagans, they are Nigerians, and the life of every Nigerian matters. It should stop,” he stressed.

Watch video here

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Why I Returned To Nigeria On Ivorian Jet — Jonathan

Published

13 hours ago

November 29, 2025

Editor

Jonathan has explained why he returned to Nigeria aboard an Ivorian aircraft following the recent political unrest in Guinea-Bissau, saying President Bola Tinubu had also prepared to dispatch a jet before Côte d’Ivoire secured an earlier landing permit.

Jonathan, who was in the country as head of the West African Elders Forum Election Observation Mission, spoke in an interview with Symfoni posted on YouTube on Friday, his first public comment since gunfire erupted around key government institutions in Bissau, prompting reports of a possible coup.

He said he felt compelled to speak “to thank Nigerians for the show of empathy and encouragement” after the incident, noting that he was aware of the national anxiety that followed the reports.

“While we were in Bissau and this so-called coup happened, the information we got was that the whole country was agitated, young and old, irrespective of religious or political divides,” he said.

According to him, both President Tinubu and Côte d’Ivoire’s President Alassane Ouattara made arrangements to evacuate him and his delegation from Bissau.

However, the Ivorian team secured landing clearance first due to what he described as stronger regional links.

“And I sincerely appreciate Nigerians, and I want them to hear directly from my mouth to appreciate their concern. And secondly, to thank my president, President Tinubu, and the Ivorian president, President Ouattara.

“Both presidents were to send aircraft to lift us, but somehow you know Côte d’Ivoire is closer to Guinea-Bissau, and there’s always some relationship between the Francophone countries and the Lusophones, who are among the Francophones.

“They were able to penetrate their system to get a a landing permit before Nigeria could do that. So the Ivorian aircraft was already on its way to pick us up,” he said.

He explained that Côte d’Ivoire’s aircraft was already en route when he was informed that the Nigerian jet had received approval to depart.

“So when we learnt that the Nigerian aircraft were about leaving, we asked them not to bother. That is why, if you see the pictures, I was brought by an Ivorian aircraft,” he said.

Jonathan thanked the two West African leaders “and indeed Nigerians, young and old” for their concern during the episode.

“So we thank the two presidents, President Wachara and President Tinubu, and indeed thank Nigerians, young and old, for that,” he said.