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Enough Reasons For Husbands To Be Unfaithful

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If someone was caught having an affair, you’d think they’d make a full confession,” observed Caroline, a relationship counsellor. “You’d think they would know if they wanted to stay or leave. You’d think they’ll be able to explain why they were unfaithful and that if they promised to ‘fight’ for their marriage that their actions would match their words. However, for lots of people recovery is not so straight forward and takes far longer than they would have imagined on discovery day”.

Sadly, we’re living in an age when infidelity has never been easier to commit or harder to deal with. A basic cause is the role of the internet. There are countless websites, and apps that exist solely to facilitate easy sex along with the services of prostitutes. Not to forget the fact that men and women are much more likely to be friends today. This was something that was much rarer 30 years ago. Now the general attitude is that the husband or wife thinks it’s acceptable to stay in touch with a lover when their fling is over. They’re ‘friends’ after all.

Cheating on a wife who is pregnant or has recently given birth is one of the last remaining sexual taboos. But there are good psychological reasons behind such a destructive act. According to Caroline, when men cheat during their partner’s pregnancy or just after she’s given birth, it is a clear signal that they are uncomfortable about becoming a father. Sometimes it triggers a crisis about their own father, especially if they are frightened of becoming like him. It can also lead to feelings of entrapment and claustrophobia. Many men tell me they become frozen with fear by their new responsibilities. ‘How on earth am I going to support all these people?’ they wonder. This can be a huge issue if you hate your job and dream of escaping.

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Some men are not tempted to cheat during their wife’s first pregnancy – but the second can up them over the edge. Why? Many men find fatherhood and the reality of child care such a shock that they fear the second baby will only make matters worse – only this time they’ll be pushed further down the list of their wife’s priorities. Sex, already an infrequent event because of the pressures of baby number one, will surely only become even rarer when baby number two arrives.

It’s a biological fact that young children kill a couple’s sex life”, observes Caroline. “For the first 18 months after a baby is born, all the oxytocin – the bonding hormone – goes into the relationship between mother and child. And let’s not forget, men need sex because it is the only way it is socially acceptable for them to get close to someone. Into this mix, it’s hardly surprising that escapism of a fling is so tempting to many new fathers.

“A word of reassurance, however, couples with children are more likely to survive an affair than those without. Children force us to find a balance between satisfying individual short-term goals and considering others and the greater good.”

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READ ALSO: Why Some Nigerians Weren’t Evacuated From India —FG

One fact that shouldn’t be over-looked is women’s contributory factor to the male misbehaving badly game. “Most ‘expectant’ married men feel their wives ‘leave’ the relationship first.

According to Caroline: “This was a shock for the average blamelessly monogamous woman. Lots of women become so wrapped up in their children that they neglect their husband. I’ve lost count of the men who tell me “she was too good of a mother and not a good wife. And so every time someone talks about ‘beautiful’ children, my alarm bells go off because it sounds like the children have been put on centre stage, and not just adored but idolised. Not even the most doting father will be able to cope with being a bit part in his own marriage for long.

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“Many men just want to please their partner and so don’t rock the boat – even when they’re unhappy with the attention they receive from their wives.”
VANGUARD

 

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Bauchi Govt Sanctions 4 Senior Officers For Gross Misconduct

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The Bauchi state Civil Service Commission (CSC) has sanctioned four senior officers for gross misconduct in the discharge of their service.

This is contained in a statement made available to newsmen in Bauchi on Friday by Mr Saleh Umar, the Public Relations Officer of the Bauchi state Civil Service Commission.

According to him, the decision, which was made during the Commission’s plenary session, was in its continued effort to sanitise the State’s Civil Service.

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He listed the names of the officers that were sanctioned to include; Garba Hussaini, a Director, Education and former Provost, Haruna Umar, a Deputy Director, Administration and Human Resources.

READ ALSO:Bauchi Board Laments Low Teacher Turnouts In Training Exercise

Others included; Umar Yusuf, Chief Executive Officer (Account)- Bursar and Mohammed Usman, Chief Clerical Officer – Cashier, all attached to Bill and Melinda Gate College of Health Sciences Technology in Ningi Local Government Area of the state.

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Umar explained that the interdicted officers have been placed on 50 per cent of their salaries with effect from 28th October, 2025 until the end of the full investigation.

The Commission’s decision was taken to allow further investigation into the allegations laid against the officers.

“The Officers were found guilty of misconduct that contradict Bauchi State Public Service Regulations – 0327 (x) and (xxii) and interdicted under rules 0329 (i), (ii) and (iii) to further distance them from their duty posts for seamless and smooth investigation.

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READ ALSO:Bauchi Begins Production Of Exercise Books, Chalks For Schools

“In a light-hearted part, the Commission has promoted 21 officers to their next grades of Deputy Chief Librarian, Assistant Chief Librarians and Principal Librarians to grade levels 15, 14, 13, 12 and 10 respectively.

“Others were Assistant Chief Executive Officer and Chief Confidential Secretary on grade levels 13 and 14,” said Umar.

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The Public Relations Officer added that Dr. Ibrahim Muhammad, the Chairman of the Commission, reiterated the Commission’s unwavering commitment to the rules of law under his watch.

He noted that while promising to continue to uphold integrity, transparency and fairness in the commission, the Chairman also expressed dismay over the nonchalant attitude of some Civil Servants not knowing the disciplinary procedures in civil service and its consequences.

Chairman also called on all workers to be conversant with the do and don’t in carrying out their assignments to avoid unnecessary offense,” he said.

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Don’t Take Law Into Your Hands – NYSC Warns Corps Members

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The National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) has warned all corps members serving their fatherland not to take laws into their own hands during and after their service year.

Mr Umoren Kufre, the Bauchi state Coordinator of NYSC gave the warning during the swearing-in ceremony of the 2025 Batch ‘C’ stream 1 corps members at the state’s NYSC permanent orientation camp, Wailo in Ganjuwa Local Government Area of the state on Friday.

“I urge you to obey all the rules and regulations governing the NYSC. In case you notice any irregularity, do not take the laws into your hands.

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READ ALSO:NYSC Deploys 1,900 Corps Members To Bauchi State

“Always ensure that you follow the proper channel of communication to express your grievances.

“Let me assure you again that management will ensure that the basic amenities you need in the camp are provided for you. Your safety and comfort remains our utmost priority,” he said.

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Kofre, who explained that a total of 2,050 corps members were posted to the state for the one year compulsory service, said there has not been any serious problem since the commencement of the course and the prospective corps members were participating actively in all camp activities.

He appreciated Gov. Bala Mohammed of Bauchi state for his continuous support to the scheme in the state as well as the complete renovation of Corps Members hostels and the construction of a brand new Multipurpose Hall in the camp.

READ ALSO: PDP NWC Suspends Legal Adviser, Anyanwu, Others Amid Convention Crisis

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The NYSC boss, however, called on the governor to help them rebuild the part of the camp perimeter fence that collapsed about a year ago.

Declaring the orientation camp exercises open, Gov. Bala Mohammed urged the corp members to take the lead and advocate for national development and transformation.

Represented by Mr Mohammed Umar, the State’s Head of Service, Mohammed called on them to take the noble call with utmost seriousness and commit themselves to achieving the scheme’s objectives of national unity and development.

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While administering the oath of allegiance, Justice Rabi Umar, the Chief Judge of the state who was represented by Abdullahi Yau, Deputy Registrar, High Court of Justice, charged the corps members to maintain law and order towards the peaceful orientation exercises

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17 Nigerian States Implementing CPS As PenCom Assets Rise To Over N26trn

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The National Pension Commission hassaid only 17 Nigerian states are currently implementing the Contributory Pension Scheme as its assets rose to over N26 trillion in September 2025.

Ms Omolola Oloworaran disclosed this during an event in Benin, Edo State.

Oloworaran, who was represented by the Commission’s Inspectorate Commissioner, Chief Samuel Chigozie Uwandu, stressed that CPS plays a vital role in national economic development.

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According to her, CPS has evolved beyond a retirement policy and has become a symbol of a national shift towards financial discipline and long-term planning.

Nigerian Newspapers: 10 things you need to know Friday morning ‎
Oloworaran noted that the scheme illustrates “a decisive break from past dependencies on state-provided old-age financial security to a new culture of retirement savings and forward planning.

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A contract between the worker and the employer, with the assurance that a lifetime of labour would be rewarded with financial security in old age.”

“Seventeen states out of the 36 states in the country are currently implementing the Contributory Pension Scheme. Twelve states have not started at all, while seven states are at various stages of establishing their pension bureaux.”

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