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OPINION: Absurd Wars, Absurd Lords

Published

2 hours ago

November 17, 2025

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By Lasisi Olagunju

“Don’t fight Man,” said Lion to his Cub, but the Cub didn’t listen. The Cub went looking for Man.

He saw a Bull. “Are you Man?”

“No, I bear Man’s yoke.”

Next he saw a Horse. “Are you Man?”

“No, Man rides me.”

Then he saw someone splitting logs with wedges: a Man!

“Fight me, Man!” said the Cub.

“I will! But first, help me split this log.”

When the Cub put his paws in the crack, Man knocked out the wedge, trapping the Cub’s paws.

The Cub finally pulled Man. loose and went home with bloody paws. Lesson learnt.

The author of that story is ancient storyteller, Aesop. He is believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620 and 564 BCE. Thousands of years, yet his wisdom endures. American writer and writing instructor, Laura Gibbs, curates and retells the stories in uncountable numbers. If you like to fight, read the above story again. It is from Aesop via Gibbs.

When you saw ‘war’ in the headline above, you probably thought I was taking a long excursion into the latest theatre of the absurd: drama starring a minister and a soldier dragging an expensive land in Abuja. No.

There was a Yoruba musician called Ayinla Omowura. He was very popular and was rich and ‘powerful’. One day in May 1980, he drove his Mercedes Benz car to a beer parlour in Abeokuta in hot pursuit of his defected band manager. The jilted big man in a big car wanted back an old motorcycle from the ex-manager. There was a push, then a shove; and a fight. A tumbler, hurled in rage, struck the strongman on the head. The rich musician died in that barroom brawl and was buried that day; his place others took in music, in his hometown, and in his home.

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Big people take big risks. Sometimes they drag all of us into their trouble. Home and abroad, tired, retired, unretired, almost all Generals, Colonels, Majors, captains and sergeants and corporals lined up behind a ramrod naval Lieutenant. The drill was scary. Think about this: What do you think would have happened to our country if any of the key actors had suffered what Omowura suffered in that moment of anger and banger? And all because of land; earth which belongs to no one. Even Elephant knows that the earth only lends space to those who walk gently upon it. Fragile Chameleon is asked why he walks gingerly. He answers: “So that the ground will not cave in.”

There is another lesson in power and contest for space, this one pure, carefully recorded history:

One hundred and sixty five years ago, Bishop Samuel Ajayi Crowther’s son, Dr. Samuel Crowther Junior, had just returned to Abeokuta from medical school in London. Abeokuta’s native doctors who thought themselves ‘physicians’ were hostile to what he brought. They said no to him practising his alien art in their sphere of influence. There was a face-off, followed by a standoff. They said their power was mightier than the power of the foreign medicine man. When iron strikes iron, one must bend. A contest of powers was agreed upon between the two sides.

Details of that war of ‘medicine’ is told by an eyewitness, Robert Campbell, in his ‘A Pilgrimage to My Motherland’ (1861); the story was reproduced a hundred years later by A. H. M. Kirk-Greene in his ‘America in the Niger Valley: A Colonization Centenary’. So, how did the battle go? Listen to Campbell:

“Time was given for preparation on both sides. In the afternoon, the regulars appeared, clothed in their most costly garments, and well provided with orishas or charms attached to all of their persons and dress. In the meantime Mr. Crowther had also prepared to receive them. A table was placed in the middle of the room, and on it a dish in which were a few drops of sulphuric acid, so placed that a slight motion of the table would cause it to flow into a mixture of chlorate of potassa and white sugar. A clock was also in the room, from which a small bird issued every hour, and announced the time by cooing. This was arranged so as to coo while they were present.

“Mr. Crowther then made a brief harangue, and requested them to say who would lead off in the contest. This privilege they accorded to him. The door was closed, the curtains drawn down. All waited in breathless expectation. Presently the bird (in the clock) came out, and to their astonishment cooed twelve times, and suddenly from the midst of the dish burst forth flame and a terrible explosion. The scene that followed was indescribable: one fellow rushed through the window and scampered; another in his consternation took refuge in the bedroom, under the bed, from which he was with difficulty afterwards removed.”

I took the script of that 1860 ‘drama’ to my friend, the scientist. The clock, the cock and the chemistry cocktail. What really happened? My friend said a people that cannot grasp scientific concepts becomes vulnerable to fear and superstition. Dr. Crowther simply staged a drama, essentially a controlled chemical explosion: sulphuric acid (dehydrator and acid catalyst); sugar (fuel), and potassium chlorate (oxidizer). From my friend I learnt that “the mixture reacts violently when combined, producing flame, smoke, and noise.”

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Crowther did not shout, boast, or brandish charms and amulets; there was no incantation. No abuse. No insults. He simply applied science; chemistry: sulphuric acid, sugar, and potassium chlorate; an elegant, potent sequence of oxidiser, fuel, and catalyst. With a clock-bird timed to coo and trigger panic, and with a well-placed chemical reaction prepared to ignite and explode, the young doctor used knowledge (not noise) to demonstrate and assert superiority.

Curses, threats and abuse are pollutants. We had more than enough last week. But enough has been said already about the Abuja land war since it unfolded last week. The raw lesson there is that real, unleavened authority easily defeats loud, raw hubris.

Central to the Abuja land drama of last week is anger and the use of language. It may be too late to bend our dry fishes. But, how do we avoid it in the next set of leaders? I end with this 170-year-old quote:

“Do all in your power to teach your children self-government. If a child is passionate, teach him by gentle and patient means to curb his temper. If he is greedy, cultivate liberality in him.
If he is selfish, promote generosity.
If he is sulky, charm him out of it,
by encouraging frank good humor…”(‘How to teach Children’ published in ‘The R. I. Schoolmaster’, Vol. 1, No. 5 JULY, 1855).

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Newswatch Co-founder, Dan Agbese, Is Dead

Published

7 minutes ago

November 17, 2025

Editor

Dan Agbese, the veteran journalist, columnist and one of Nigeria’s most influential media figures, has died at the age of 81.

In a statement issued on Monday, Okibe Agbese, speaking on behalf of the family, said the renowned writer passed away earlier in the day.

“Chief Dan Agbese transited to eternal glory this morning, Monday, November 17, 2025,” the statement reads.

The family added that burial arrangements would be announced in due course.

Born on May 12, 1944, in Agila, Ado LGA of Benue state, Agbese became a towering voice in Nigerian journalism, widely admired for his incisive satire and enduring contributions to media development.

He served as editor of the Nigeria Standard and the New Nigerian newspapers before being appointed general manager of Radio Benue, Makurdi.

A co-founder of Newswatch magazine, Agbese later became its editor-in-chief, a role he held until April 2010.

Until his passing, he maintained weekly columns in Daily Trust and The Guardian, remaining an active and respected commentator on national affairs.

He also co-managed a media consultancy with Ray Ekpu, Yakubu Muhammed and Soji Akinrinade, continuing his commitment to mentorship and professional excellence.

Agbese is survived by his wife, Rose, six children and seven grandchildren.

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Legal Practitioner Backs Conversion Of ATBU To Conventional University

Published

21 minutes ago

November 17, 2025

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A legal practitioner in Bauchi state, Barr. Jibrin Jibrin, on Monday, expressed support for the conversion of the Abubakar Tafawa Balewa University (ATBU), Bauchi to a conventional University.

It could be recalled that Shehu Buba, senator representing Bauchi South Senatorial District sponsored a bill seeking to alter ATBU’s status and in October, the Senate passed the second reading of the bill seeking to amend the ATBU act to remove technology from the institution’s name and convert it into a conventional University.

However, the management of the university alongside the institution’s alumni association and staff unions, dissociated themselves from the move at the Senate to convert the university from a technology-based institution to a conventional university.

They argued that the management was neither consulted nor informed at any stage of the legislative process adding that the development came to the university as a shock.

Meanwhile, Barr. Jibrin who explained that Bauchi state, despite being the most populous state in the Northeast geopolitical zone, remained the only state without a conventional federal university, highlighted some of the benefits the conversion of the university could bring to the state,

“By expanding ATBU’s mandate to include a full range of disciplines like Law, Medicine, Pharmacy, Education, Arts, and Humanities, the university will become a major national training ground for the next generation of professionals across all sectors of national life.

“Transforming ATBU into a conventional university will ensure fair distribution of educational opportunities and bring Bauchi State into alignment with the national educational framework.

“A conventional university serves as an anchor institution for regional development and expanding ATBU will attract a greater number of academic and non-academic staff, generating employment.

“It will also stimulate the local economy through housing, commerce and services, encourage public-private partnerships in research, innovation, and community development as well as reduce the educational migration of students to distant states, thereby saving families and governments significant costs,” he said.

According to him, empirical evidence from institutions like the University of Maiduguri and Federal University, Lafia showed that university diversification significantly boosts small-scale enterprises, healthcare services, and real estate development in their host communities.

Jibrin, a former Chairman, Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) Bauchi branch, further stated that it was the view of many people that by converting ATBU to a conventional University, opportunities and means of promoting the already attained legacy of innovation would not only be sustained but also be improved upon.

“This is because it is a statement of fact that in the whole of Northern Nigeria, the leading Universities in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics otherwise known as STEM consist of both conventional and specialized universities.

“I call on the political class, the traditional institution, the academia and other stakeholders in the state to rise in solidarity with authorities concerned towards the success of the exercise,” he said.

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198 UNIBEN Students Bag First Class

Published

56 minutes ago

November 17, 2025

Editor

A total of 198 students of the University of Benin (UNIBEN ) Edo State, bagged a First Class degree out of 14,083 students to be awarded first degree at the institution’s 51st Convocation and Founder’s Day ceremony.

Vice Chancellor of UNIBEN, Prof. Edoba Omoregie, disclosed this on Monday in Benin at a pre-convocation press briefing.

He said 4,217 students bagged a Second Class Upper, 7, 928 got a Second Class Lower, while 578 bagged a Third Class degree.

Omoregie said the result was indicative of the seriousness of staff and students to ensure that the institution marched on with vigour.

He said 15 new approved programmes by the National Universities Commission (NUC) would commence in the 2025/2026 academic session.

Prof. Omoregie said the Veterinary Medicine programme which earlier suffered an accreditation hiccup before he assumed office had been accredited by the NUC.

According to him, “The wheel of progress is on course and moving steadily in the University of Benin. This administration is poised to deliver on its mandate of effective, practical teaching, sound learning, result-oriented research and impactful community service.

“We must applaud the President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, for establishing NELFUND, and by so doing significantly reducing the financial stress of students in the process of acquiring tertiary education. We enjoin students and their parents to take full advantage of the federal government’s benevolence in instituting the fund.”

Prof. Omoregie disclosed that Nigeria’s Minister of Regional Development, Engr. Abubakar Momoh, would deliver the Founders’ Day lecture with the topic, “Reforms for a Shared Prosperity”.

The UNIBEN VC said Director General of the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs and Former Vice Chancellor of Igbinedion University, Okada, Edo State, Professor Eghosa Osaghae, would deliver the Convocation Lecture on the theme, “Making Our Universities Great”.