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OPINION: Should Elected Nigerian Leaders Undergo Psychiatric Tests?

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Tunde Odesola

Guitar Boy, Sir Victor Uwaifo, is dead. But the ‘Mami Water’, which he saw at the Bar Beach and sang about in 1966 when he was just 25 years old, lives on. Today, the ‘Mami Water’ swam all the way up from the deep and boomed through a giant loudspeaker at the Ojota motorpark in Lagos, singing: “Guitar Boy/Guitar Boy/If you see mami Water o/If you see mami water o/Never, never you run away/Eh, eh/Never run away, Victor Uwaifo…” Even angels in heaven can’t resist dancing to the electrifying guitarwork of the song. 🎶Pin-pin/🎶dun-dun/🎶pin-pin/🎶dun-dun/🎶pin-pin/ 🎶dun-dun…Guitar Boy!…If you see mami water o…🎶.

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A garage thug, Kilimanjaro, sings along with Uwaifo in a gruffy voice, cigarette smoke billowing down his nostrils like a fumes-belching locomotive driven by a grumpy engineman.

“That time wey Mami Water dey tell Victor Uwaifo make e no run, Nigeria never turn into jungle. Now, na Mami Water herself don dey run from Nigerians. If Mami Water and Papi Water show for Naija now, Nigerians go chop dem with dem bones and fins,” Kilimanjoro bellows, coughing big phlegm up his throat, “twah!” he spits it out. “E no go better for my enemies!”

Lepa Shandy, a busybody hawker in the park, moves from one vehicle to the other, selling a jambalaya of medicines. “If you no get wife, girlfriend or olosho, no buy dis medicine o. Make you no go tamper your landlord wife or daughter if you no wan live under bridge,” Lepa Shandy announces.

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She brings out another medicine in a colourful pack. “Dis one name na Caterpillar! Make una lift una joyful faces up and behold this one-cure medicine, epa gbogbo ise. Na New Delhi in New York City dem make am. E dey cure hepatitis, glaucoma, leprosy, COVID and AIDS. Dis medicine no dey cure HIV o. Me, I go tell you di truth. Just drink am with rainwater or well water. Das all.”

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“Ehs! Ehs! Wos! Wobi!,” Kilimanjaro calls out to Lepa Shandy, “Shey you still get ‘Total Restoration’?”

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“Ha, e don finish, people don rush am but I go get am next tomorrow. Na dollar cause di go-slow. How many packs you want?” “I want half dozen.” “OK, I go bring am next tomorrow.”

Lepa Shandy: “Shey, una dey see so, na my medicine those wey sabi dey ask for so o. ‘Total Restoration’ dey cure all types of worms, obesity, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, bone marrow, diarrhoea, diabetes, too much sweating, poor hearing, weak vision and fear.”

Kilimanjaro: Shey you hear say lion kill person for Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife?

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Lepa Shandy: I hear di news o. Man and animal just dey vex for Nigeria. Suffering too much. No difference dey between the Ife lion and Nigerian leaders. Both no get mercy. Both wicked well well.

Kilimanjaro: Di lion for go Az-o-Roc, after e visit Az-o-Roc, make e enter legislature, judiciary and the ministries one by one. After Abuja, make e come dey enter states one by one?

Kilamanjaro: Ha! Dem go kill am!

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Lepa Shandy: Kill wetin!? Na Layon I dey talk about o, no bi lion o. Layon na combination of lion and ‘anjonu’ spirit. Even bomb no fit kill Layon. You no sabi say black power dey?

Kilimanjaro: Look, me I believe in action. Make we all comot for street, block everywhere, no work, make everywhere standstill. Na di only language wey our leaders dey hear bi dat.

Lepa Shandy: You don forget wetin happen for Lekki Tollgate?

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Kilimanjaro: Dem stop Lekki riot because na only Lekki di riot take place. If to say other states of the federation join, government for negotiate nah. Government dey tighten poor masses belt, dem dey loose dem own belt. All dia pikin don turn billionaire finish. Poor man no fit chop one meal a day again. Wo, me I wan listen to the great national debate for radio, biko!

Lepa Shandy: Na wah o.

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Kilimanjaro: After Buhari ride Nigerian donkey to coma, e kari half-dead donkey give im paddy, Tinubu, wey no fit complain publicly because dem bi Taiwo and Kehinde, different sides of di same coin.

Kilimanjaro: (Tuning the stereo in the road transport union office) When dem go begin di debate sef?

The secretary of the park, Acapela, tells Kilimanjaro to tune the stereo to Radio Enlightenment and Freedom 700.07 FM.

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Kilimanjaro: Ha! Dem just dey start di debate. Rich man pikin school versus poor man pikin school. E go loud!

Debate Moderator: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the Great Debate! We have two schools slugging it out today. They’re Overlords Private College, Ikoyi, and Bondage Public School, Ajegunle. The topic of today’s debate is, ‘Should elected Nigerian leaders undergo psychiatric tests?’ Overlords Private College are saying NO to the topic while Bondage Public School are saying YES. The lead speaker of each school has five minutes to speak while the supporting speakers have three minutes each. I hereby welcome the lead speaker of Bondage Public School to the podium.

Bondage Lead Speaker: My name is Idris Ayomeye. I’m from Bondage Public School. I greet the distinguished chairman of this august occasion, the incorruptible panel of judges, the accurate timekeeper, my co-debaters and the esteemed audience.

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(The audience roars into applause)

Bondage Lead Speaker: I’m here to support the motion that Nigerian leaders should and must be subjected to psychiatric tests. Permit me, Mr Chairman, sir, to open my speech with these two Bible quotes: Proverbs 14:34: “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people”; and Romans 6:1: “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin and expect grace to abound?” These Bible quotations sum up the story of Nigeria, a country, where wickedness and injustice rule. It’s a country where the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission prosecutes and secures the conviction of a Nollywood actor, Oluwadarasimi Omoseyin, for ‘spraying’ the naira while the same EFCC looks the other way when Fuji musician, Alhaji Wasiu Ayinde, and one undignifying monarch, the Olu of Owode, Oba Kolawole Sowemimo, engaged in criminal abuse of the naira. I must commend the Egba Traditional Council for suspending Sowemimo over his disgraceful act. He should be sent back to ipebi for proper tutoring. I don’t know how some characters become obas in Yoruba land.

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(Deafening applause. Kilimanjaro, Acapela and many people listening to the debate in the garage jump up in jubilation)

Bondage Lead Speaker: Mr Chairman, sir, Nigeria is a country of promise-and-fail leaders. President Olusegun Obasanjo set up the Oputa panel to try the wrongs of the past, but General Badamosi Babangida, who was accused of many wrongdoings blatantly refused to show up, and nothing happened. Babangida never appeared in court despite incriminating allegations over the death of Dele Giwa. Those who killed MKO Abiola and his wife, Kudirat Abiola, are walking freely today. One of them, a Major, is even pontificating all over the country.

(Kilimanjaro grabs a chair, puts it on his head and dances, shouting, “More! More! More!)

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Bondage Lead Speaker: The Presidency, police, ICPC, rights activists, Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, etc see how people abuse the naira daily, yet they look away. Nigeria looks away as public hospitals have turned into morgues, public schools have become havens for hoodlums, roads have turned into deathtraps, electricity supply has turned to darkness supply! If a country can so brazenly exhibit injustice and brutality, tell me why its elected leaders shouldn’t undergo psychiatric tests. Please, tell me why.

(Shouts of ‘Tell them!’ ‘Tell them!’ Tell them! from the audience fill the hall)

Mr Chairman: (Hits his gavel on the table) Order! Order! Order! (The hall becomes less rambunctious)

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Bondage Lead Speaker: (Wipes his face with a handkerchief and sips some water) General Muhammadu Buhari promised to jail the looters in the President Goodluck Jonathan administration. Who did he jail? Were we all not in this country when Patience Jonathan sought a plea bargain? Were we not all in this country when Buhari and his cabal brought in a fake airline as a national carrier, spending millions of dollars on the fake airline? Can someone tell me why our leaders shouldn’t be subjected to psychiatric evaluation? President Tinubu has been in the saddle for almost a year, chasing shadows, haunting the worst Central Bank Governor in the history of the country, Godwin Emefiele, but conspicuously leaving out Buhari, whose bidding Emefiele did. Can someone tell me why our…

Kilimanjaro: Ha!!! NEPA!!! Dem don cut light for studio o! Dem don become uncomfortable o. Haa! Naija and government magic…

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

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Seadogs Champions Social Justice Through Inaugural Art Exhibition In Owerri

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In a fusion of creativity and conscience, the National Association of Seadogs (Pyrates Confraternity) has reaffirmed its dedication to social justice by launching its maiden art exhibition, Art Ova Yap, in Owerri, Imo State.

Held as part of the association’s 49th National Konverge and Annual General Meeting, the exhibition showcased powerful visual narratives crafted by talented members of the Confraternity—many of them professional artists—who used their work to spotlight issues of governance, inequality, and societal transformation.

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NAS Cap’n (International President), Dr. Joseph Oteri, described the exhibition as more than a celebration of talent.

According to him, it was a deliberate act of advocacy rooted in the association’s founding principles of justice, equity, and service to humanity.

“Art Ova Yap is not just about aesthetics. It is our response to the urgent need for platforms that amplify marginalised voices and foster dialogue around issues that affect everyday Nigerians,” Oteri said.

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“Our mission is to inspire understanding, empathy, and action—art is our vehicle for that change.”

The exhibition, he noted, aims to encourage public engagement on the role of artists in shaping public policy and challenging societal injustices.

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He also announced that proceeds from the event would go towards supporting families of deceased NAS members, and that plans were underway to institutionalise Art Ova Yap as a permanent fixture in the association’s calendar.

Chief Programme Officer, Chief Bart Akelemor, said the Pyrates Confraternity has always positioned itself as a moral compass in the Nigerian civic space, often using unconventional tools to drive critical conversations. Art, he said, is now one of its newest instruments.

“Our founding fathers envisioned a society built on fairness, knowledge, and service.

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“This exhibition is a continuation of that vision—where creativity becomes a channel for social justice, national development, and equitable access to opportunities,” Akelemor explained.

Also speaking at the event, Prof Adesoji Adesugba, a key supporter of the initiative and former Managing Director of the Nigeria Export Processing Zones Authority, highlighted the Confraternity’s deep-rooted affinity with cultural expression.

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Tracing the origins of NAS to its founding in 1952 at the University of Ibadan, he said the Confraternity has always employed art, music, drama, and literature as tools for social critique and civic enlightenment.

“Art Ova Yap is a visionary platform that will help engage Nigeria’s youth through artistic expression.

“Beyond this inaugural event, we are introducing an artist-in-residence programme that will mentor young talents and culminate in an annual competitive showcase,” he said.

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The exhibition was officially declared open by Dr. Asani Omozuwa on behalf of the Chairman of the Tortugarde-In-Council and NAS Board of Trustees, Prof Olatunde Makunju.

Omozuwa praised the vision and depth of the works on display, especially those honouring the late artist Olugbohun Ajayi, to whom the exhibition was dedicated.

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In a goodwill message, Elder Tim Akpareva, member of the NAS Board of Trustees, said Art Ova Yap embodies the group’s core philosophy of “action over rhetoric” and represents NAS’s role as both cultural custodian and social advocate.

Featured artists included International Sculptor of repute Prof.

Tunde Waritmi; Editorial cartoon legend Ebun Aleshinloye; Editorial Cartoon veteran and painter, Chuks Onwudinjo; Contemporary Uli art form exponent and curator of the exhibition, Chuma Anagbado; co-curator and collage innovator Emeka Ihejirika; and rising star Chikezie Obilor.

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As the exhibition concluded, it was clear that Art Ova Yap was more than a showcase—it was a movement.

A movement where brushstrokes meet bold ideas, and where the canvas becomes a battleground for justice, equity, and societal rebirth.

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UNICEF, U-Report Build Capacity Of Youth Advocates On Child-Friendly Budgeting

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The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), Bauchi Field Office, and U-Report has embarked on a one-day capacity building training of youth advocates in Bauchi State on the budget process and its impact on child development.

The training focused on advocating for increased investment in child-friendly sectors through improved and adequate budgeting.

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The one-day engagement brought together 25 U-Reporters from across the state.

It could be recalled that U-Report is UNICEF’s global platform that empowers young people to speak out on issues that matter to them, access trusted information, and drive positive change in their communities.

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It operates in over 90 countries using digital technology and real-time insights to influence policies and decision-making.

Speaking at the event, Mr Abubakar Usman, a representative from the Bauchi State Ministry of Budget, Economic Planning, and Multilateral Coordination, highlighted the importance of public understanding and participation in the budgeting process.

According to him the budget belongs to the people and the youth must understand how it works so they could advocate for the right priorities, especially those affecting children.

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He added that the ministry encourages feedback and public contributions to ensure the budget reflects the needs of all, especially vulnerable groups.

Also speaking, Mrs Sophie Safratu-Bako, a resource person at the training, described the budget as a financial plan that outlines government revenue and expenditure for a fiscal year.

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She emphasized its role in promoting equitable development across key sectors such as education, health, infrastructure, and security.

“Budgeting is not just about numbers—it is about people and priorities,” she said. “Young people have the power to influence policies. Your voices can ensure child-focused priorities are reflected in public spending.”

Earlier Mr Opeyemi Olaguju, Communications Officer, UNICEF Bauchi Field Office, said it was high time the youth advocated for the need to hold leaders accountable and ensure children’s needs were prioritized in public budgets.

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“Young advocates must champion good governance and demand increased investment in sectors that directly affect their lives and futures,” he urged.

The engagement aimed to equip youth with the knowledge and tools needed to analyze budgets, engage in advocacy, and participate meaningfully in governance processes for a better and more inclusive future.

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7 Essential Blood Tests Every Adult Should Take Regularly

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Many diseases don’t show clear symptoms until it’s too late. That’s why routine health checks, especially blood tests, are important. They help catch silent problems early so you can treat them before they get serious.

There are specific blood tests every adult should take, even if you feel perfectly healthy. In this article are blood tests adults need, and what they reveal about your body.

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1. Complete Blood Count (CBC)

The CBC test checks your red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. It helps detect things like anemia (low red blood cells), infections, and immune system issues.

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2. Fasting Blood Sugar Test (Glucose Test)

This test measures the amount of sugar in your blood. It helps detect prediabetes and Type 2 diabetes. High blood sugar can silently damage your nerves, eyes, and kidneys without you noticing.

3. Lipid Panel (Cholesterol Test)

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This test checks your LDL (bad cholesterol), HDL (good cholesterol), and Triglycerides. High cholesterol increases your risk of heart disease and stroke.

4. Liver Function Test (LFT)
The liver helps filter toxins from your blood. This test checks for hepatitis, fatty liver disease, and liver damage from alcohol or medication.

5. Kidney Function Test (Creatinine and BUN Test)

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Your kidneys clean your blood. This test helps detect chronic kidney disease, kidney infections, and kidney failure risks

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6. Thyroid Test (TSH, T3, T4)

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Your thyroid controls your metabolism, weight, mood, and energy. This test detects hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) and hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid)

7. Vitamin D and B12 Tests

These tests check your nutrient levels. Low Vitamin D can cause bone weakness. Low Vitamin B12 can cause tiredness, nerve problems, and memory issues.

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Don’t wait for symptoms before you get tested. Your health is your greatest asset, and blood tests are one of the smartest, simplest ways to protect it.
(TRIBUNE)

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