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OPINION: Ellupee Lawmakers Refuse Shishi, Collect Exotic Cars

Published

2 years ago

October 27, 2023

Tunde Odesola

I didn’t shoot the sheriff. I was only a member of a three-man gang that robbed a friend in Lagos in the mid-80s. Thank God, he survived the robbery and he’s alive to tell the story. Despite the incident, we remain friends. So, I’ll shield him from klieg light by referring to him by his first name and middle name, Abiodun Oluseyi, because he never liked being in the public eye. He’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert.

Towering above six feet, Biodun, a man of few words, doesn’t throw his weight and height around. When secondary school set our feet on the journey of friendship more than 40 years ago, lying ahead unbeknownst to us was a shared future of mutual respect, love and understanding.

We had our strengths and weaknesses; I was better than Biodun in football, table tennis, scrabble and non-school activities which our parents must not know. Biodun played excellent guitar and chess. He loved serenity. He also loved to be underrated. Like the Piscean that he is, the whale in him loved to swim from the depth of the deep, shooting up in the air, and splashing back into the ocean, swimming to the belly of the sea. Don’t think he didn’t see the shock and admiration in your eyes as he wowed you with his prowess, yes, he did; Biodun loves being appreciated but he won’t demand it.

His nickname, B-Fat, an amalgam of his first and last names, is incongruous with his slim and straight physique. However, B-Fat was fast like a pilot whale reaching a speed of 75.6 kilometres per hour at short bursts, and was intelligent like the killer whale, smashing the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board examination in 1985 to set a record and gaining admission to study medicine at Great Ife aka King of Nigerian Universities, a title bestowed on the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, by prankish students.

Another friend living in the neighbourhood, Lanre Akintunde, paid me a visit at home in company with his relative, whose name I can’t recall. Then, there was no smartphone to save time and money on wasted journeys. People risked lives and limbs crisscrossing the length and breadth of Nigeria only to discover that the relatives they went to visit had also travelled on a long journey like Apostle Paul.

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On the fateful day of the robbery, I was seeing Lanre and his cousin off when I told them I was going to see Biodun, who lived two streets away. Lanre said he would like to say hi to Biodun, too. His cousin didn’t need to know Biodun; friendship then was as instant as making a coffee or splurging N160m each on 360 exotic cars to be enjoyed by heartless National Assembly members driving on toxic roads.

Was Biodun happy to see us? He showed it in the lavish food he provided. He fetched a massive bowl and went to buy rice, beans, fried plantain and pieces of meat enough to feed six hungry men. After all, he was a big boy studying medicine at Great Ife. So, four spoons, like shovels, set out to demolish the white and brown mound of food covered in a stew like magma covers a volcano mountain.

We all turned up in our best table manners. No one uttered a word as our teeth and tongues worked, crushing and grinding. There was no time to drink water even though we didn’t rush; we were all young, responsible adults, and our spoons didn’t clash. The mountain of rice and beans was going down gradually, like Stamford Bridge.

As the mountain finally gave way, hitting rock bottom, Biodun let out a shout, “Ha! Eyin people yi, e ti je gbogbo eran tan! Mi o ri nkankan je!,” lamenting, “You these people, you have eaten all the pieces of meat, I didn’t get any to eat!” Gentleman Biodun was waiting for the delicious meal to climax in the eating of pieces of orísirísi meat, but his patient dog didn’t even get a bone to eat. In the serenity of Biodun’s room, three separate spoons held by Lanre’s cousin, Lanre and Tunde airlifted the pieces of meat secretly and deposited them into colluding mouths. We didn’t connive to rob Biodun, there were no furtive glances, each of his guests was just concerned about his stomach, collective good was alien to them. We were the ajélójú onílé house rats that eat in the presence of the house owner.

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Thank goodness, Biodun survived the robbery. He’s now a renowned consultant paediatrician in Nigeria while Lanre went on to become a lawyer, setting up his practice in Lagos and yours truly remained a journalist. The three of us are still friends to date.

Denouement in literature is the final part of a play, movie, or narrative in which the strands of the plot are drawn together and matters are explained or resolved.

In the ruinous action of the three visitors, I see the three leading Nigerian political parties – the callous All Progressives Congress, the confused Peoples Democratic Party, and the deceptive Labour Party. Biodun represents Nigeria, ever trusting and accommodating.

Lanre’s unknown cousin represents the Labour Party. Lanre symbolises the APC while Tunde exemplifies the PDP. Lanre’s cousin (LP) journeys with Lanre (APC) and Tunde (PDP) in the hope of forging new grounds at Biodun’s (Nigeria) home. Despite being young on the block and looking promising, Lanre’s cousin betrayed the trust Biodun (Nigeria) had in him as he joined corrupt Lanre (APC) and Tunde (PDP) to wreck Nigeria.

National Chairman of the Labour Party, Mr Julius Abure, a few days ago, told the eight senators and 34 House of Representatives members of the party to reject the N160m SUV vehicle per each lawmaker in the National Assembly. Abure described the ‘gifts’ as the height of insensitivity.

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He said, “We are calling on Labour Party legislators in the 10th Assembly to kick against this unnecessary wastage of resources, in line with the ideology of the party which is social justice and equal opportunity for all. Nigerians will hold them responsible if they fail to live above board or give proper account of the electoral investment reposed in them. The poor must be allowed to breathe again in this country.”

But various LP lawmakers in the National Assembly, who spoke with THE PUNCH, said Abure was belching hot air, insisting that they would collect the Toyota Prado and Landcruiser SUVs. Specifically, LP’s lawmaker representing Aniocha North and South of Delta State, Ngozi Okolie, said Abure’s call was unrealistic, calling on Abure to provide LP lawmakers with cars to perform their jobs.

The representative of Igbo Etiti and Uzo-Uwani constituencies of Enugu State, Stainless Nwodo, commended President Bola Tinubu for approving the vehicles, adding that Tinubu deserved ‘three gbosas’.

The senator representing Edo-South senatorial district, Neda Imasuen, said he would not count his chicks before they hatch, maintaining that he would wait for the vehicle to arrive before he comments.

I’m not surprised that LP lawmakers abandoned the profligacy mantra the party levelled against the APC in the countdown to the last general elections. In many published articles, I’ve said that the LP doesn’t hold the key to the country’s emancipation and that the party is not better than any of the APC and the PDP.

If Peter Obi, the LP presidential candidate, had won the 2023 general election, some of these lawmakers would have been transmuted into ministers, Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Chief of Staff etc. Many of them would have influenced the appointments of the heads of the EFCC, ICPC, CBN, Police, Army etc, and the vicious cycle would have continued.

The Chairman of the Revenue Mobilisation Allocation and Fiscal Commission, Mohammed Shehu, says Tinubu’s total monthly earnings, including allowances, come up to N1.3m. With a monthly salary that is N1.3m, a N160m vehicle purchase means that Tinubu himself cannot afford either of the Prado or Landcruiser jeeps even if he saved up all his salaries in eight years.”

Nigeria is a laughable country where the President’s salary doesn’t reflect his spending and wealth. The same ignoble level of sleaze is found in the judiciary, military, church, mosque, schools, media, civil service, private sector, and everywhere yet we pray noisily to God to heal our country when the blind can see our open sore.

News

Seadogs Champions Social Justice Through Inaugural Art Exhibition In Owerri

Published

2 hours ago

August 3, 2025

Editor

In a fusion of creativity and conscience, the National Association of Seadogs (Pyrates Confraternity) has reaffirmed its dedication to social justice by launching its maiden art exhibition, Art Ova Yap, in Owerri, Imo State.

Held as part of the association’s 49th National Konverge and Annual General Meeting, the exhibition showcased powerful visual narratives crafted by talented members of the Confraternity—many of them professional artists—who used their work to spotlight issues of governance, inequality, and societal transformation.

NAS Cap’n (International President), Dr. Joseph Oteri, described the exhibition as more than a celebration of talent.

According to him, it was a deliberate act of advocacy rooted in the association’s founding principles of justice, equity, and service to humanity.

“Art Ova Yap is not just about aesthetics. It is our response to the urgent need for platforms that amplify marginalised voices and foster dialogue around issues that affect everyday Nigerians,” Oteri said.

“Our mission is to inspire understanding, empathy, and action—art is our vehicle for that change.”

The exhibition, he noted, aims to encourage public engagement on the role of artists in shaping public policy and challenging societal injustices.

He also announced that proceeds from the event would go towards supporting families of deceased NAS members, and that plans were underway to institutionalise Art Ova Yap as a permanent fixture in the association’s calendar.

Chief Programme Officer, Chief Bart Akelemor, said the Pyrates Confraternity has always positioned itself as a moral compass in the Nigerian civic space, often using unconventional tools to drive critical conversations. Art, he said, is now one of its newest instruments.

“Our founding fathers envisioned a society built on fairness, knowledge, and service.

“This exhibition is a continuation of that vision—where creativity becomes a channel for social justice, national development, and equitable access to opportunities,” Akelemor explained.

Also speaking at the event, Prof Adesoji Adesugba, a key supporter of the initiative and former Managing Director of the Nigeria Export Processing Zones Authority, highlighted the Confraternity’s deep-rooted affinity with cultural expression.

Tracing the origins of NAS to its founding in 1952 at the University of Ibadan, he said the Confraternity has always employed art, music, drama, and literature as tools for social critique and civic enlightenment.

“Art Ova Yap is a visionary platform that will help engage Nigeria’s youth through artistic expression.

“Beyond this inaugural event, we are introducing an artist-in-residence programme that will mentor young talents and culminate in an annual competitive showcase,” he said.

The exhibition was officially declared open by Dr. Asani Omozuwa on behalf of the Chairman of the Tortugarde-In-Council and NAS Board of Trustees, Prof Olatunde Makunju.

Omozuwa praised the vision and depth of the works on display, especially those honouring the late artist Olugbohun Ajayi, to whom the exhibition was dedicated.

In a goodwill message, Elder Tim Akpareva, member of the NAS Board of Trustees, said Art Ova Yap embodies the group’s core philosophy of “action over rhetoric” and represents NAS’s role as both cultural custodian and social advocate.

Featured artists included International Sculptor of repute Prof.

Tunde Waritmi; Editorial cartoon legend Ebun Aleshinloye; Editorial Cartoon veteran and painter, Chuks Onwudinjo; Contemporary Uli art form exponent and curator of the exhibition, Chuma Anagbado; co-curator and collage innovator Emeka Ihejirika; and rising star Chikezie Obilor.

As the exhibition concluded, it was clear that Art Ova Yap was more than a showcase—it was a movement.

A movement where brushstrokes meet bold ideas, and where the canvas becomes a battleground for justice, equity, and societal rebirth.

News

UNICEF, U-Report Build Capacity Of Youth Advocates On Child-Friendly Budgeting

Published

2 hours ago

August 3, 2025

Editor

The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), Bauchi Field Office, and U-Report has embarked on a one-day capacity building training of youth advocates in Bauchi State on the budget process and its impact on child development.

The training focused on advocating for increased investment in child-friendly sectors through improved and adequate budgeting.

The one-day engagement brought together 25 U-Reporters from across the state.

It could be recalled that U-Report is UNICEF’s global platform that empowers young people to speak out on issues that matter to them, access trusted information, and drive positive change in their communities.

It operates in over 90 countries using digital technology and real-time insights to influence policies and decision-making.

Speaking at the event, Mr Abubakar Usman, a representative from the Bauchi State Ministry of Budget, Economic Planning, and Multilateral Coordination, highlighted the importance of public understanding and participation in the budgeting process.

According to him the budget belongs to the people and the youth must understand how it works so they could advocate for the right priorities, especially those affecting children.

He added that the ministry encourages feedback and public contributions to ensure the budget reflects the needs of all, especially vulnerable groups.

Also speaking, Mrs Sophie Safratu-Bako, a resource person at the training, described the budget as a financial plan that outlines government revenue and expenditure for a fiscal year.

She emphasized its role in promoting equitable development across key sectors such as education, health, infrastructure, and security.

“Budgeting is not just about numbers—it is about people and priorities,” she said. “Young people have the power to influence policies. Your voices can ensure child-focused priorities are reflected in public spending.”

Earlier Mr Opeyemi Olaguju, Communications Officer, UNICEF Bauchi Field Office, said it was high time the youth advocated for the need to hold leaders accountable and ensure children’s needs were prioritized in public budgets.

“Young advocates must champion good governance and demand increased investment in sectors that directly affect their lives and futures,” he urged.

The engagement aimed to equip youth with the knowledge and tools needed to analyze budgets, engage in advocacy, and participate meaningfully in governance processes for a better and more inclusive future.

News

7 Essential Blood Tests Every Adult Should Take Regularly

Published

6 hours ago

August 3, 2025

Editor

Many diseases don’t show clear symptoms until it’s too late. That’s why routine health checks, especially blood tests, are important. They help catch silent problems early so you can treat them before they get serious.

There are specific blood tests every adult should take, even if you feel perfectly healthy. In this article are blood tests adults need, and what they reveal about your body.

1. Complete Blood Count (CBC)

The CBC test checks your red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. It helps detect things like anemia (low red blood cells), infections, and immune system issues.

2. Fasting Blood Sugar Test (Glucose Test)

This test measures the amount of sugar in your blood. It helps detect prediabetes and Type 2 diabetes. High blood sugar can silently damage your nerves, eyes, and kidneys without you noticing.

3. Lipid Panel (Cholesterol Test)

This test checks your LDL (bad cholesterol), HDL (good cholesterol), and Triglycerides. High cholesterol increases your risk of heart disease and stroke.

4. Liver Function Test (LFT)
The liver helps filter toxins from your blood. This test checks for hepatitis, fatty liver disease, and liver damage from alcohol or medication.

5. Kidney Function Test (Creatinine and BUN Test)

Your kidneys clean your blood. This test helps detect chronic kidney disease, kidney infections, and kidney failure risks

6. Thyroid Test (TSH, T3, T4)

Your thyroid controls your metabolism, weight, mood, and energy. This test detects hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) and hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid)

7. Vitamin D and B12 Tests

These tests check your nutrient levels. Low Vitamin D can cause bone weakness. Low Vitamin B12 can cause tiredness, nerve problems, and memory issues.

Don’t wait for symptoms before you get tested. Your health is your greatest asset, and blood tests are one of the smartest, simplest ways to protect it.
(TRIBUNE)