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OPINION: Pastor Adeboye, Owners Of Nigeria And 2025 [Monday Lines]

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By Lasisi Olagunju

If the elites of the North will not ‘give’ President Bola Tinubu a second term, who told them that the South will give power back to them in 2027? Leper losing his needle presents peculiar problems. It is not two years since power changed hands in Nigeria but the jungle is already rumbling.

Mordant cries about French bases, about federal appointments lacking symmetry, about dirty gutters and stinking swamps are all familiar tricks of snatching the forest from the current champion. The roars of ‘fairness’ are not about ‘justice’ and the people and the challenges they face. They are not about terror and error bombs; not about cheap deaths, hunger and joblessness. The goal is power with all the privileges it gives the privileged.

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But we are what Cecil Helman’s ‘Parables’ says we are: fragments under the feet of fate. Nobody, and no body, neither north nor south, owns this land. The one who created power possesses it – and that is the Creator. But, some think Nigeria and all of us can be knitted into anything that suits their fingers –all because of greed of unearned grandeur. They should look keenly at coconut: it rests on its side despite having a bottom. Why?

Those who think power is their own exclusive possession and think life cannot be lived well outside power should listen to the following parables and the story that follow them:

Long, long ago, at the beginning of time in Ile Ife, there was a very poor man who had only one he-goat as his only means of living. He-goat is called itú in Yoruba. This poor man got his daily meal through the she-goats his itú mated with. One day, he discovered to his sorrow that the goat was missing. It was stolen.

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The man searched and searched for his goat without success. The more he searched, the sadder he became because he suspected that his pricey goat may have become food in some thieving tummies. He kept searching. Then, one day, he met an old man who asked what his problem was. He told him.

The old man gave the poor man a warning that he must stop the search. Itú (he – goat) rẹ̀ sọnù, ṣùgbọ́n wọ́n kìí nílọ̀ pé kò gbọ́dọ̀ wá a. “So what do I do? I will die of hunger without that goat!” The distraught told the old man who simply gave him a metal gong – agogo ọ̀ràn – (gong of trouble) is what the old man called it.

The poor man was told to beat that gong in front of the houses of all principal kings of Yorubaland. The man set out. He went to ilé Alárá, he went to Ajerò; he was at the palace of Òràngún; he was at the Ààfin in Oyo. He went to all the 16 principal kings, the Ọlọ́jà mẹ́rẹ̀ẹ̀rindínlógún. But they all prevented him from beating the gong in front of their houses. They pleaded with him to go away with his Agogo ọ̀ràn. They offered him money, much money, and more money. The man became rich, very rich like any of the principal men of power. His status changed. He is not king but he was big enough to dine with kings. He thanked his Eleda (his Maker) for sending a worthy angel to him in the image of the old man. He also thanked his orí (his inner self) for not making of him a man who would ignore the wisdom of elders.

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Now, the men of power could ignore the poor man or get him arrested. They could even kill him for his audacity. If they killed him, who would query them? But they understood the man to be a victim of state failure; they clothed him with remedial gestures.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: ‘An Enemy Of The People’ [Monday Lines]

The poor man too could ignore the old man and his counsel and remain searching for what is lost – forever. God closed his goaty door of poverty, he did not insist on opening it. Nobody owns anything; not goat; not power. The one who does not say the elder parades a smelly mouth is the one who conquers life and its difficulties. The next parable tells more of power and its powerlessness.

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Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye is a very deep, wise man. Recently, he gave the Soun of Ogbomoso an invaluable gift in folktale wrappers. The audio is online, viral. I did the transcription and translation:

Several years ago. There was an incident in a town called Ejigbo. It was noticed that the kings there died as soon as they ascended the throne. Then, it was the turn of a young man to be king.

His case was a very precarious one. If he became king, he would die. If he refused to be king, it would be the end of his royal lineage in that town because he was the very last prince there alive.

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One day, the young prince was going to the farm in great sorrow. Then, he bumped into an old man because he was troubled. He begged the old man for forgiveness.

“Omo aládé, kí ló dé? (Prince, what is the problem?” The old man asked him.

He told the old man his problem.

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“It is my turn to be king, but I don’t want to die.”

The old man listened to him; then told him it was a simple thing. On the day of your enthronement, tell your drummers not to repeat the beat they beat for your predecessors. They should change it. The old man told the prince what his beat should say. Between them, it was a secret.

The D-Day came. He became king. It was time for celebrations. The king came out to dance round the town. The witches of the town, devourers of the earlier kings, assembled as usual under their tree, waiting for the drumbeat.

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The old beat was:

Eléjìgbò l’ó l’Èjìgbò;

Èmi nÌkan ni mo l’Èjìgbò.

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(Eléjìgbò, the king, owns Ejigbo

I alone own Èjìgbò).

But by the time the drummers of the new king started beating the drum for him, they came with a new beat:

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Eléjìgbò l’ó l’Èjìgbò;

T’èmi tì’e l’a l’Èjìgbò.

Eléjìgbò l’ó l’Èjìgbò;

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Gbogbo wa l’a l’Èjìgbò.

(Eléjìgbò owns Èjìgbò;

You and I own Èjìgbò.

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Eléjìgbò owns Èjìgbò;

We all own Èjìgbò).

The witches exchanged glances. “This is strange! Who gave this young man this wisdom?” That was how the young king danced round the town. He was king and he was on the throne for a very long time. Q.E.D.

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MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Tinubu, Atiku And The Lion’s Share [Monday Lines 2]:

Great words of counsel are like rains; when they are released; they fall on more than one roof. Those nuggets from Pastor Adeboye should benefit more than the oba to whom they were directed. I take them as a sermon for all who think or take themselves to be owners of Nigeria. The words are for regions and religions; kings, principalities and presidents, and all conceited people who think the throne is for their whims to give and withdraw. I hope they know that half words are enough said to the well-bred.

Two days to the new year, I have one more word from our elders. It is a story of power and its implications.

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The sermon is from Hubert Ogunde’s 1945 play ‘Strike and Hunger’, a drama about resistance, justice, moderation and empathy in leadership. Truth, in whatever form it is couched, is bitter. Nigeria happened to Ogunde for daring to write and stage that play. He told the story several times, and each time you heard or read him, you knew that the rain of Nigeria did not start beating fairness yesterday – it started a long time ago. Ogunde recalled that experience: “After the general strike of 1945, I staged a play ‘Strike and Hunger’ which became a hit with the indigenous population while the colonial masters thought the play was inciting the people to riot. When I took the play to the Northern Region in 1946, I was arrested and prosecuted in Jos. The £200 fine imposed on me was paid by the Yoruba community in Jos, but my troupe was banned from performing in the North.” That story told by Ogunde to a news magazine in 1973 was reproduced by Bernth Lindfors, then of the University of Texas, Austin, in his ‘Ogunde on Ogunde’, published in May 1976.

Between 1944 and 1989, Hubert Ogunde wrote and staged 56 plays. I counted them and clicked those with links on ogunde museum.org. ‘Strike and Hunger’ is number nine on the list there. I transcribed and translated the lyrics and present a summary of the plot here:

‘Strike and Hunger’ starts with the king of this town, Oba Yejide, in full bloom. He receives his people’s acclamation: “Elephant who owns the forest; Buffalo that owns the savannah.” He is Oba Yejide, the king whose possessions are the sea and its rising and falling tides.

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The king replies his people’s love with lines of arrogance: “I, Yejide, great king. I snatch others’ houses and make them mine; I take others’ homes and become fat by them.” Despite all these, the king still does good; he commands respect and loyalty in all circles of the town. His people need jobs, he gives them government work to do. They sing, they dance and “rejoice in their one kobo per day job.”

Then change happens to them and the town. Inflation hits the roof; their kobo per day loses its vaiue. The people approach the Oba for help. Oba Yejide’s response to the food inflation is to establish a food market in the palace. The people are happy again. They think the market will offer goods for buyers, food for the hungry. They declare that their king owns the world; they say everyone must obey him; they sing his praise. They warn dog not to dare their leopard so that it will not wear gowns of blood.

Things soon get bad again. Hunger seizes the land. The king’s food market gets a new name. Thoroughly disappointed townspeople call it “Ojà ebi” (hunger market). The people work harder but their salaries remain the same while prices at the hunger market keep rising daily. Buyers who complain of the daily rise in the price of food items receive lashes, some get wounded. Complaint is disloyalty. Anyone who says the king is failing is made to eat his pounded yam as yam. The people turn their hunger into bursts of oxymoron: “hunger is satiation/ the world is changing.”

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Workers are downcast; Oba Yejide’s minimum wage is maximum cage. The people are trapped in his fiefdom and they complain. They are hungry; they shout the needs you shout today. Ogunde says the people sing in sorrow: “Ebi ńpa wá o, ará mi (We are hungry, my people).” Workers down tools. They continue their song of depression: “Kí l’a ó fi kóbò ojúmó se (what shall we do with a daily wage of one kobo?)”

The king ignores them; he says the people should go and manage. The people are sad and angry; they won’t stop singing songs of defiance and lamentation, and subversion: “Workers do not have money to feed/ We have no cloth, we have no dress/ we move about stark naked like monkeys/ Yet, Oba Yejide feeds well; Yejide drinks/ He forgets the day of reckoning…(Àwa òsìsé kò r’ówó jeun/Béè l’aò l’áso, béè l’aò l’éwù/ Ìhòhò l’awá ńrìn bí òbo/Oba Yéjídé ńje; Yéjídé ńmu/ Kò rántí p’ójó èsan ńbò…). .”

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: ‘We Collected Money, And We Voted’

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They sing frustration and helplessness. They say “a worker who wakes up into hunger and wears rags lives a hollow life/ The dead are better than such a person (lásánlásán l’óńbe l’áyé/ eni t’ókú sàn jùú lo).” Oba Yejide’s reign suffers strikes and protests. He is called “Oba elébi” (king of hunger). But he does not care.

The song on the street is:

The king’s men eat and drink to satiation,

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The king’s chiefs eat and are happy,

They are happy and they dance.

Workers are dying the death of hunger,

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Husband and wife feed on miserable grains.

God, Almighty,

Please come and deliver us from those who hate us but commiserate with us…

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(Asojú oba ńje, wón ńje,

Wón ńje, wón mu;

Ìjòyè oba ńyó wón ńyò,

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Wón ńyò sèsè;

Àwon òsìsé ńkú ikú ebi,

T’okot’aya ńje jéró;

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Èdùmàrè yé o, ó d’owó Re,

A-wí-má-ye-hùn,

K’ó gbà wá l’ówó àwon

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Abínú eni tí ńbá ni dárò…).

Still, the oba won’t lift their burden. He won’t bend and the people won’t stoop. Face-off is what the white man calls it. The town doubles down and sings to Oba Yejide who thinks the world is his property:

Oba tó s’abúlé di’gbó,

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Oba tó s’abúlé d’ilè,

Aráíyé kò ní gbàgbé rè

Oba elébi…

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(The Oba who turns the village to bush,

The king who turns the village to rubble,

The world will not forget you,

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King of hunger…).

That is my 2024 review of Ogunde’s ‘Strike and Hunger’. It ends with the oba eventually dropping his arrogance and making amends. The palace moves the minimum wage from one kobo to ten shillings per day; the king orders the hunger market closed. Old markets reopen. There is enough for every buyer to buy; enough for all mouths to feed. Everyone is happy, the town becomes peaceful once again and the song transits to that of praise and freedom.

Those are my stories. The lesson from all the elders is that the world is the sea and the people in it the lagoon; no master-swimmer swims them successfully. Let all powers and power blocs do good and take things easy. Nigeria is not a possession of any region or religion; president or potentate. It belongs not to the angry elites of the North plotting day and night against Tinubu and the South; and it is certainly not the property of Tinubu, today’s viceroy.

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We pray for peace and joy and victory in 2025. May God say amen to our positive prayers.

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OPINION: Ofala: Glo And An Invite From Agbogidi

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By Lasisi Olagunju

‘Teacher of Light’ is the title of a biography of Chinua Achebe written by Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and Tijan Sallah. What does it mean to teach light? Or, rather, what is light? If you know what darkness does, you would know what light means and the value it holds.

“When the moon is shining, the cripple becomes hungry for a walk.” With that proverb and its moon metaphor, Chinua Achebe established himself as a true teacher of light. My muse pushed the proverb to my presence as I read through an invitation to me from the Obi of Onitsha asking that I be part of this year’s Ofala Festival. It occurred to me that moment that it is not only the moon that gives light; culture is an illuminator, it also gives light, especially to people like me who routinely forget how to dance to ancestral summons.

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I had the very rare privilege of being honoured by the Nigerian Academy of Letters with its Honorary Fellowship in August this year. From the North to the South, only three Nigerians were so honoured: I was one; my brother, culture scholar and media icon, Jahman Anikulapo, was one; the deeply intellectual Obi of Onitsha, His Majesty Igwe Nnaemeka Alfred Ugochukwu Achebe (Agbogidi), was the third, the biggest of us. At that ceremony, the Obi, who said he had looked forward to meeting me, met me, held me and has kept me close as a son.

So, his invite to the Ofala Festival came. The festival holds this week. I wish I could be there as the king’s guest; but wishes are not horses. Because the mountain here is blocking the view of the mountain over there, I cannot honour the invitation. So I prayed for the success of the festival. The Obi answered with a thunderous ‘Amen’.

Ofala? I checked and found that the word “Ofala” is an enduring offspring of the Igbo words ọfọ (authority) and ala (land). Ofala is history retold in performance; it is also culture renewed. It relives the Obi’s authority over the land and its people.

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Ofala is Obi’s return from sacred silence. The festival celebrates royalty’s reborn, and the Ndichie’s renewal of loyalty to the king. In Iru Ofala and Azu Ofala, the king returns from ancestral presence to repossess his warriors with their red caps.

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Etymologists say the word ‘festival’ derives from the Latin ‘festum’. Anthropologists have followed the word through centuries and civilisations as its meaning evolved across cultures and disciplines. Émile Durkheim and James George Frazer were influential figures in early anthropology. Scholars, in summaries, say that to Durkheim and Frazer, festivals are communal expressions of belief and solidarity. They say that with festivals, people renew their social and spiritual bonds. In Ofala, we see that they are right.

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Leo Frobenius, German ethnologist and archaeologist, was in Africa on multiple occasions between 1904 and 1935. In the 1910s, Frobenius observed festivals in diverse places; he documented them and saw in them vital celebrations of familial, tribal, and religious life deeply rooted in ancestral history and beliefs.

The German observed right. Ofala and similar festivals bind communities; they celebrate social cohesion and keep sacred traditions alive. They fuse communal history with spiritual renewal and survival. In them, the rhythm of everyday life comes alive.

Ofala has grown to attract great brands. Its major sponsor is telecoms giant, Globacom, which has been there since 2011. I have very solid people in Globacom, which makes me an envoy of its greenery and deepens my interest in everything, particularly, festivals in which the company is involved.

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The Yoruba tell their children: When you behold greatness, honour it with reverence. Tí o bá ri olá, pón olá lé. That is what I am doing here. It is what Globacom’s long partnership with the Obi and Ofala does; an act of reverence to the greatness of the culture that birthed them.

From Lisabi in Abeokuta to Ojude Oba in Ijebu-Ode, and from Ofala in Onitsha to other vibrant festivals across the land, Globacom’s partnerships reflect a philosophy rooted in understanding that just as a zebra is defined by its stripes, a people are defined by their culture. In other words, a person without culture is like a zebra without stripes. Sustaining culture is sustaining the people.

That is what corporate sponsorship does to cultural events. Obi’s people say in a proverb, “Nku di na mba na-eghere mba nri (The firewood of a community cooks for that community).” Globacom’s firewood has kept the flame of the festivals it supports alive, warming the hearts of millions who gather yearly to honour tradition.

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To sponsor a festival is one thing; but to nurture its essence and future is another. Through resources and resourcefulness, community engagement, and cultural reverence, Globacom has redefined what corporate responsibility can mean. That is what I gleened from the firm. I agree with those words. Shakespeare writes in Hamlet that “The purpose of playing… is to hold, as ’twere, the mirror up to nature.” The playwright suggests that the aim of acting and theater is to reflect reality, showing “virtue her feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure”.

By supporting these festivals, the company, Glo, holds up a mirror to our shared identity, allowing us to see ourselves, our beauty, our resilience, our history.

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Globacom became a major sponsor of the Ofala Festival in 2011 and has sustained the sponsorship yearly since then. Fourteen years on, like the Ekwe and the Udu, two Igbo drums beating the same rhythm, the company’s unwavering support has demonstrated that corporate success and cultural preservation can walk (and work) together. I read this out and my friend, the Igbo man, chipped in: “Egbe bere, ugo bere” (let the kite perch and let the eagle perch). When business and tradition walk together, culture gains.

The Yoruba routinely remind us that it is when we walk in the rain that we know who truly walks with us. Companies get involved in arts and culture for various reasons. Some, like leeches, place their names beside great traditions so as to benefit from the greatness. But what I see with Glo here is much more than profit in cash and kind. I see a telecoms giant, wholly indigenous, that has chosen to walk tall with the ancestors, deploying its enormous muscle to connect the past and their history to the world of the modern. One word defines this; it is renewal.

The rich who spend on their people’s historical and cultural essence are not frivolous; neither are they stupid. It is patriotism; if you like, call it cultural nationalism. The wealth of culture, like all wealth, grows when shared.

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Cultural promotion yields dividends that confound account books. It stitches the torn fabric of community; it keeps the hearth of local enterprise burning, and rekindles pride in who we are and where we come from. It renews pride in our shared heritage. It makes us all richer.

If you do well the society notes and records all you do for posterity. The Alake and paramount ruler of Egbaland, Oba Adedotun Gbadebo said in 2017 that “Glo is number one in culture and support for the people. The company pioneered per second billing and others followed.” The Alake wrote that admirable testimonial eight years ago. The flag of patriotism is still there on the mountain top, flying.

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In Ofala, the king dances the dance of joy of a fresh start. In the drumbeats and dance steps, the king delights that yam is harvested as proof of life, not of death. The beats retell a people’s story as told by the ancestors. A people are as strong as the stories they tell of themselves.

This weekend (Friday and Saturday), Onitsha will be draped in Globacom’s green, the colour of growth and renewal. Colour green in French is vert, the Italian call it verde, the Spanish, in Castilian voice, say it is verde. They all draw their source from the Latin word for green which is viridis, a word that denotes freshness and vitality. History is an endless rope. English words, verdant and viridian, have this same Roman ancestry. To viridis again belongs “a large family of other words that evoke vigor, growth, and life: virere (to be green, to be vigorous), vis (strength), vir (man, masculine singular), ver (spring), virga (stem, rod), perhaps even virtus (courage, virtue).” For those insights, check French professor of medieval history, Michel Pastoureau’s ‘Green: The History of a Color’ as translated by Jody Gladding.

Whenever I meet Globacom chairman, Dr Mike Adenuga Jr, I intend to ask him the specific reason he chose colour green for his giant.

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I congratulate the Obi and Glo as the moon glows on Ofala. In the dance of that festival, drums speak, colours sing, and heritage dances. In perfect rhythm, the people breathe, act and rejoice as tradition bathes in innovation. With the moon shining brighter, Obi’s land is renewed this weekend. Congratulations, Agbogidi.

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OPINION: ‘Federal Highways of Horror’

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By Lasisi Olagunju

You know where the latest anti-government journalists are in Lagos? Kirikiri. On a day that Nigerians were celebrating an additional spur of 100 kilometres to the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Road, the killjoys of Kirikiri struck. They took a happy, joyous people of 200 million on a gruelling, bumpy ride across the country. They ran painful stories of craters and potholes and headlined them: ‘Federal Highways of Horror.’

It is a miracle that our Minister of Works, Dave Umahi, has not pummeled the Lagos newspaper called Vanguard. It ran the bad stories. It is still unclear why the minister has not rebuked its owner and spanked its journalists for publishing what they were not supposed to publish. Not once, but twice, last week they allowed the devil to use them to tell stories of collapsed federal roads from the north to the south. Their stories portrayed hardworking Umahi as a failure in monumental proportions.

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Those journalists, injected with an overdose of impudence, said they did an investigation. They painted a grim picture of federal highways across multiple Nigerian states suffering severe neglect. They said the neglect has made travel dangerous, expensive, and time-consuming. They wrote as if they were sent to pull down a house built by God.

In the South, they came up with a long list of bad roads. They said northern states shared the same story of pain. They described some roads as crater-filled horror scenes; some as barely passable, others as sites long abandoned by contractors. On the few ones harbouring contractors, the signs they displayed showed slow men at work.

It does not rain; it pours. Amid narratives of millions of bad federal roads, Umahi made himself professor last week. “I am a professor of Engineering,” he announced on national television. Professor Umahi? I pray he is not asked to name the king who blessed him with that chieftaincy title. Some Arise News television journalists, whose eyes lack lashes, forced him to make himself professor. They habitually tug at the hem of Umahi’s professorial gown. They pelt him with questions that should never be asked. They remind our working Minister of Works that a river that is not dirty does not hide its depth. Last week, they demanded the cost of federal roads per kilometre. Who does that? And, I am happy, Minister Umahi gave it back to them. He said they are illiterates. Yeah. Don’t they know that for our federal government, spirits decide the total costs of projects? If they were truly not illiterates, they would know that this government is a wholesale seller and buyer; it is too rich to do retail business measured with short tape rules and elementary school rulers.

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Oyo State governor, Seyi Makinde, thought because he was governor and engineer he could join the talk and say that calculating the average cost per kilometre was possible in road construction. He was similarly told by our minister to shut up or he would be summoned to a debate on the very difficult mathematics of road construction. Umahi said he is Makinde’s senior in engineering. Senior Prefect Umahi described electrical electronics engineers as ‘technicians’ who must not speak on project costs.

Now, what we are told to hold as knowledge from Professor Umahi is that it is impossible to know how much a kilometre of road costs in Nigeria until such projects are completed. God is great. The World Bank must have missed that wisdom back in 1999 when it created the Road Costs Knowledge System (ROCKS), a database that calmly lists what it costs to build or fix a kilometre of road from Umahi’s village in Ebonyi to Makinde’s Ajia in Ibadan. A key feature of the World Bank’s ROCKS is its record of actual and estimated road work costs, clearly defined per kilometre and per square metre. Apparently, only in Nigeria do roads and their costs defy mathematics and logic.

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In utter helplessness, we watch the roads and their costs stretch and shrink like chewing gum depending on whose fingers are working the calculator. While other countries classify their roads by type and cost per kilometre, we prefer a more spiritual approach – if you are an enemy, call it faith-based budgeting.

Clarity is the father of all openness. Why is it missing here? Again, that is not a question or a proverb that we must hear again from anyone, especially professional troublemakers called journalists. What is the problem of Nigerian journalists? Because their eyes have no skin, they query power. Where a cup is half-full, what our journalists see all their lives is a half-empty cup. They didn’t start today. They are historically insolent. What they do to this government, they did to even our ancestor, Lord Lugard, in 1913, one full year before Amalgamation. On 8 March, 1913, one rude journalist working with a newspaper called Lagos Weekly Record wrote that Lugard was a wicked, ruthless character, “a man whose walking stick is a pistol and whose thoughts by day and dreams at night are punitive expeditions and military patrols.”

And what was Lugard’s reaction to such attacks? He fought them with laws and knocks. At a point, he documented their impudence with a letter to his wife, Flora. In the letter, he bunched the journalist with all the other “educated native” who deserved no sympathy. He wrote about the native enemy of the state: “His loud and arrogant conceit are distasteful to me, his lack of natural dignity and of courtesy antagonise me.” Lugard’s biographer, Margery Perham, graciously remembered to put this in the book: ‘Lugard: The Years of Authority’ on page 585. If you can’t get Perham but are fortunate to get Jonathan Derrick’s ‘Africa, Empire and Fleet Street’, check the details there. They are on page 115.

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So, as Lugard, the creator of Nigeria rightly wrote, the Nigerian journalist is arrogant and lacks courtesy. Such are called alárífín in Yoruba. In the days of old, the crime of àrífín carried capital punishment. Aróbafín l’oba npa. But today’s journalists are lucky that they are in a republican democracy. Even then, someone should pay for their bad behaviour. The slap they get from ministers like Umahi is the first tranche of the cost of their bad manners.

What should the state do to the conceited who won’t let expressway contracts be awarded expressly in peace? I have a solution to their problem: Like the Vanguard, they should all be relocated to Kirikiri; all of them, from Lagos to Ibadan; from Ibadan to Lagos. And, if I had my way, I would tip off Umahi and all his harangued hardworking colleagues to award contracts this week for more cells for enemies of the president’s coastal elephant and other projects of renewal. Their new accommodation should enjoy maximum security. They deserve Kirikiri, Kirikiri deserves them.

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What comes fast cannot be delayed again. It happened to cricket. Cricket set his wedding day and simultaneously asked his doctor to start preparing for child delivery. The contracts for a safe house for Nigerian journalists can be awarded today, or, latest tomorrow. There is no need for formalities. Exactly like the Coastal Road contract, this is another no for competitive bidding. We already know contractors with proven track records of expertise in casting beams and building cells. We select and hit the site digging. We can fix the contract cost after the job is done.

From this point, we see long shadows over the country; there is no clarity about important things government do. But, one day soon, like sun rays, clarity will force its way in; it is the father of openness.

Now, beyond the scaffold of satire, I wish I could just tear the mask and tell Minister Umahi that what we have today under his watch is road transportation without roads. And he is Minister of Works in charge of roads. It is a shame.

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In May this year (2025), I wrote ‘The shame of Ibadan-Ife-Ilesa road.’ The first two paragraphs of the piece read:

“Mr Dele Alake represents Ekiti State in the Federal Executive Council. Alhaji Gboyega Oyetola represents Osun State in the Federal Executive Council. Mr Olubunmi Tunji-Ojo represents Ondo State in the Federal Executive Council. All three of them are the president’s core men. Each time the council sits and approves federal roads for reconstruction in states other than theirs, what goes on in their minds? They are very powerful ministers but all federal roads that lead to their states are decrepit and abandoned. And they know. So, what is the problem?

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“The Ibadan-Ife-Ilesa road that links these ministers’ states to Lagos and to the North is the worst in Nigeria. Senate leader, Opeyemi Bamidele, is from Ekiti State. He belongs to the president’s inner caucus. Tough-talking PDP Senator Francis Fadahunsi represents Ife-Ijesa senatorial district. There are seven other senators and several Reps of APC and PDP from those three states. Has anyone heard them say or do anything to make that road well again? Do these people go home and how do they get home whenever they go home? Nigerians of all states lose lives and limbs on that road daily. Death by installments on the road is harrowing and it is a daily experience. It is a fitting tribute to the attention we pay to our people’s welfare.”

That was on May 12, 2025 (five months ago). If the road was “going, going” when I wrote that piece, it is gone now. Gone. An ex-senator told a columnist in May this year that N20 billion had been “released for repairs” of that road. In August 2025, Umahi announced the release of 30 percent of the contract sum. How much is the contract sum? Don’t even go there. If you go there, the minister will be angry. He will remind you that you are not a road professor. If you must ask any question at all, ask what has happened to what Umahi said was released, his 30 percent. Ask, because, nothing that is worth one kobo has happened on that road this year.

But the total collapse of the road did not come to me as a surprise. By the noon of May 12, 2025 when I published the article, one of the senators I called out in the piece called me.

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“They have just read to me what you wrote.” He told me. Big men don’t read newspapers; newspapers are read to big men. Senator said he laughed at my naivety. He wondered why I was disturbing myself writing rubbish about a contract that may never be executed.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: A Minister’s Message To Me

“Do you think Nigeria can ever be better than it is? (Sé ìwo rò wípé Nigeria lè dára jù báyìí lo ni?)” He asked and proceeded to shame me with names, facts and figures all of which answered his question with a no. He said I should record and publish all he said. I laughed at the audacity of his directive. An orphan like me will never dare court a wound on the back.

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Besides, I was taught early in life to make my eyes flexible enough for them to see the nose. That was the wisdom that eluded Partridge who claimed to know it all, and because he made that claim, he blocked his own opportunity to learn Ifá from the pigeon. ‘Mo m’Obàrà, mo m’Ofún,’ tí kò j e kí ẹyẹlé k’ àparò n’Ífá (I know Obàrà, I know Ofún’ made the pigeon not to teach Ifá to the partridge).

So, my pigeon listened attentively to the incantation from the hawk. This senator ended his long, windy speech with a submission that the Ibadan-Ife-Ilesa road, and other federal roads in the South-West were decrepit and abandoned because the Works Minister “does not like hearing South-West at all.” I heard him and sighed.

When the outspoken gentleman spoke with me five months ago, he was a PDP senator. He has since moved to Dave Umahi’s party. Now, I wonder if he will still say what he said now that he is in APC.

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Author and literary critic, Robert M. Wren (1928-1989), in 1982 wrote “The Last Bridge on ‘The Road’: Soyinka’s Rage and Compassion.” He tells us that in 1962, Wole Soyinka, in a Lagos Daily Express essay entitled ‘Bad Roads, Bad Users, Bad Deaths’ captured Nigeria’s enduring road crisis. Writing with outrage and in satire, Soyinka lamented the deadly state of the highways. He agonised over the state of the Lagos–Ibadan road (Mile 34); there was what he called “the death-trap at Ife”, and “the last bridge on Ikorodu Road.” Soyinka recalled and deplored a senator’s refusal to carry a crash victim with a spinal cord injury to Ibadan. More than six decades later, the roads are still bad, very bad; they still kill; senators are still cold-blooded; they still wonder why anyone bothers to care that the roads are bad.

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Edo GIS Denies Report Of 17-year-old Purchasing 14 Hectares Of Land

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The Edo Geographic Information Systems (Edo GIS) has debunked reports circulating on social media that a 17-year-old boy purchased 14 hectares of land in Edo State and was subsequently denied a Certificate of Occupancy (C of O) by Governor Monday Okpebholo.

In a statement released by the Director of Press, Tunde Egbiremonlen, the agency clarified that no such transaction exists in its records.

According to the statement, a 17-year-old is legally considered a minor and, as such, is not eligible to register land ownership under Edo State law.

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The Edo GIS system will automatically reject such applications due to age restrictions,” the statement read

READ ALSO:Edo Promises Effective PHCs In 192 Wards

“In the first place, a 17-year-old cannot apply for registration of land in Edo state because that age bracket is assumed to be a minor; the Edo GIS system will automatically reject the application.

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“To compound the objective of the rumour-mongers, the peddlers of the story did not explain where in Edo state, such 14,000 hectares were purchased by the minor.

READ ALSO:Edo Gov Sacks Education Board Chair, Names Replacement

Egbiremonlen also pointed out inconsistencies in the viral report, noting that it failed to mention the specific location of the alleged 14 hectares and described the story as “deliberately mischievous and fabricated.”

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He accused the originators of the false information of attempting to cause disaffection and blackmail the government, saying significant funds were spent to circulate the fake news.

Edo GIS urged the public to disregard the claims and remain vigilant against disinformation aimed at undermining the government’s credibility.

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