Connect with us

News

[OPINION] Pastor Ibiyeo-money: Get Behind Me, Satan!

Published

on

Tunde Odesola

Wracked by a head-splitting fever and a head-aching red eye, this article may not see the light of day. But if it’s ever published, dear reader, know that this article is a product of pain, lethargy, tiresomeness and hissing. The meaning of headache is truly a pain in the head.

When I woke up early Monday morning, the pain in my right eye was tormenting. I couldn’t differentiate between a comma and a full stop. The wider I opened my eyes to tell the difference between the two punctuation marks, the more the tail of the comma disappeared, leaving behind a dot that looked exactly like a full stop. By 11 a.m., my body felt like it had been run over by a bus. I took some pain-relieving tablets, got an eye-drop medication and headed into the day, all the same.

Advertisement

On Tuesday morning, I couldn’t open my bloodshot right eye. I felt my hands and legs were bound to a rock, like Oedipus. For relief, I felt like closing my aching eye all day, but work had sounded its worship bell, so I headed to answer the roll call. As I drove to work, I struggled to keep my right eye open, setting my eyes water to flow freely, and the left eye, in kinship sympathy, had joined the right eye to tear.

I hurt like a man under whose right eye three alligator pepper seeds had been tucked. By who? I shall reveal that later. Alone, I suffered seven plagues – headache, eyeache, runny nose, fever, tearing, sleepiness and lethargy. Do note that the whole of biblical Egypt suffered just 10 plagues in the hands of Moses.

The fast sequence of bad news breaking in Nigeria could be tricky for a columnist to follow, more so for a columnist outside Nigerian shores. Therefore, a columnist worth his salt will be on the news trail all day, every week, taking notes of newsy issues and zeroing down on one, two or more en route to the deadline.

Advertisement

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Eedris Teargasses Tinubu; Ali Baba Besaints Obasanjo

On Wednesday morning, I had no eyes to follow Nigerian news, so I said to myself, “I cannot come and kill myself o; I will not write any article this week.” My only desire was just to shut my eyes in perpetuity. By the time I returned from work on Wednesday night, my enervated body was a little energised as butterflies from the nectarean Muse flew along my way. Briefly, I shook off my lethargy and started to monitor trending news from Nigeria.

Terrible news, as usual, sat snugly on the front pew. My news monitoring revealed that in the last few days, over 70 Nigerian Christians were reportedly killed in the Middle Belt region by suspected Muslim herders.

Advertisement

In the dying minutes of Wednesday night, I checked various talking points on Nigeria’s socio-political scene. There was no condemnation of the massacre by any big-name Nigerian cleric. However, there were get-rich-quick blasphemies by some church leaders. The blasphemies caught my attention. Instinctively, I felt like grabbing my laptop and scribbling. But while the spirit was willing, the body was weak as my head pounded and my eye peppered. I sat at my table, but the only request my body members were making was sleep, sleep, sleep while my eyes teared away, steadily.

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Letter To Alaafin Abimbola Owoade

“Why the silence from the Nigerian clergy? They don’t want to heat the polity? Did the government reach out to them not to speak up publicly? To whom do Nigerian clergy owe their allegiance? To God or Bola Tinubu administration? Or to Mammon?” Questions cascaded down my journalistic mind. Savage country, savage leadership.

Advertisement

Thursday afternoon, none had changed for the better among my troubled body parts. Headache. Eyeache. Runny nose and tiredness. Guess what? I never stopped going to work for a day. But I booked an appointment to see the doctor. Because I didn’t book an emergency appointment, I was scheduled to see the doctor on Friday. Today is Thursday – my deadline to submit my article, and I’m going to work in less than three hours. Can I still make it? I’ll try. I’ll try because I don’t want no thief-looking pastor to claim his god of Mammon struck me with sickness. However, if the article fails to make it to the newsstand, it’s not the god of the fake pastor who stopped it; it’s stress-induced fever, lest any thief should boast. I don’t have lip blisters as telltales of sickness. For me, the telltale signs of fever or any sickness in general are inflamed eyelids and reddish eyeballs. I’ve been like that since my years of innocence.

My red eye drips tears unabated. All the eye wants to do is shut down. It’s utterly painful opening it. Pastor Ibiyeo-money, who has never healed any known disability in any person, would claim his god afflicted me with a sight problem, and his congregation would roar, “Hallelujah!!!”

In an outrageous video, Ibiyeo-money said Jesus Christ hated poverty and that Christ never associated with the poor. The cold-blooded way Ibiyeo-money twisted the Holy Bible to assert his warped teaching belonged only in hell.

Advertisement

MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: Shameful Letter On Tinubu’s Slavish Assembly

A fake surgeon clutching a scalpel, Ibiyeo-money grabs the balls of a man looking for the fruit of the womb, cuts open his scrotum, throws his testicles in a bottle, gives the bottle to him, and tells him his prayers are answered. But Ibiyeo-money himself sees a doctor monthly. He assures his congregation that his prayer was sufficient for their security while he goes about in bulletproof cars and a horde of armed security men. Ibiyeo-money is the healer who cannot heal himself. In looks and deeds, Ibiyeo-money is the archetypal Agba Yahoo. He talks slowly and self-assuredly – almost in a whisper – like a man of wisdom, age and grace, but will bow down on his face and worship Satan if he sees 30 shekels of silver. I didn’t have a clear picture of those Jesus chased out of the temple until now.

In his atrocious sermon, I suspect Ibiyeo-money was talking about Jesus of Port Harcourt, and not Jesus of Nazareth, who was born in a manger by a poor carpenter father and who rode on a donkey into Jerusalem, instead of a horse. Because I don’t worship money like Ibiyeo-money, I solemnly offer to teach him for free the importance of Jesus riding a donkey into Jerusalem.

Advertisement

Preached on a Mount of Beatitudes, Jesus’ seminal sermon called “The Beatitudes,” was an opportunity to overplay wealth acquisition, but He downplayed it by emphasising poorness, meekness, righteousness, mercifulness and peacefulness. In the sermon, Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit; For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” I can see Ibiyeo-money is rich in spirit.

In ‘The Beatitudes’, if Jesus was averse to poverty, He wouldn’t have rewarded the poor in spirit with the kingdom of heaven. He would’ve preferred people like Ibiyeo-money who are rich in spirit.

Since all these donkey’s years of professed anointing, miracles, signs and worship, hasn’t the man of god come across the teaching of Jesus which says in Matthew 19:24, “I’ll say it again–-it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God!” If Jesus glamorised riches as Ibiyeo-money does, he wouldn’t speak against wealth acquisition.

Advertisement

Both the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible contain 1,189 chapters. Ibiyeo-money just needs to daily read four chapters of the big Bible he carries about like a signboard, and about nine and a half months, he would have read all the references I pointed out to him.

I’ll close with these passing shots. Jesus told some of those He healed or taught to sell all their earthly property and follow him. If Ibiyeo-money was the one taken to the peak of the world by Satan, and told to bow down and worship, what would he do? I hear him shout, Get beside me, Satan!

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Advertisement

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

Advertisement

News

JUST IN: Tinubu Decorates New Service Chiefs

Published

on

President Bola Tinubu on Thursday decorated the new service chiefs with their respective ranks at the Council Chamber of the Presidential Villa, Abuja.

The ceremony, which began shortly after 2pm saw the President perform the decoration alongside Vice President Kashim Shettima and the spouses of the decorated officers, each dressed in their respective service uniforms.

Those decorated were General Olufemi Oluyede as the Chief of Defence Staff; Lieutenant-General Wahidi Shaibu as Chief of Army Staff; Air Marshal Kennedy Aneke as Chief of Air Staff; and Vice Admiral Idi Abbas and Chief of Naval Staff.

Advertisement

The Senate had, on Wednesday, confirmed the four nominees after a two-hour closed-door screening session where they were grilled on strategies to strengthen national security and improve coordination among the armed forces.

Tinubu had earlier written the red chamber, seeking an expedited confirmation process “to ensure continuity in the nation’s security leadership.”

READ ALSO:Reps Approve Tinubu’s $2.35bn External Loan Request

Advertisement

It was observed that the ceremony was attended by senior government officials, lawmakers family members of the service chiefs and top officers from the various arms of the military.

The President, Vice President and the officers’ spouses took turns pinning the new ranks on each of the decorated chiefs.

The decoration came barely one week after the Presidency announced a sweeping reshuffle in the military hierarchy.

Advertisement

In the statement signed by the President’s Special Adviser on Media and Public Communication, Sunday Dare, it said the shake-up was part of efforts to inject new direction into the nation’s defence architecture.

READ ALSO:Tinubu Under Fire Over Presidential Pardon For Drug Offenders

The Chief of Defence Intelligence, Major General E. A. P. Undiendeye, retained his position.

Advertisement

Tinubu’s Special Adviser on Information and Strategy, Bayo Onanuga, later told our correspondent that the changes were not connected to recent rumours of a coup plot, saying, “The President acted within his authority as Commander-in-Chief. Service chiefs can be hired and fired by the President.”

On Monday, Tinubu had met privately with the new service chiefs at the Villa.

They arrived in a black Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van escorted by a green Toyota Land Cruiser, and the session lasted about 40 minutes.

Advertisement

READ ALSO:FULL LIST: 175 Beneficiaries Of Tinubu’s Pardons

Presidency sources said the President charged them to take decisive action against insurgents and bandits, particularly in the North.

Last Friday’s reshuffle followed an October 19 report alleging that some officers were plotting to overthrow the government — a claim later dismissed by the Defence Headquarters as “false and mischievous.”

Advertisement

The Director of Defence Information, Brigadier-General Tukur Gusau, said the alleged arrests linked to a coup were “issues of indiscipline” within the ranks, describing the report as “intended to cause unnecessary tension and distrust among the populace.”

Continue Reading

News

JUST IN: Eurozone Growth Beats Expectations In Third Quarter

Published

on

The eurozone economy grew faster than expected in the third quarter of 2025, official data showed Thursday.

The EU’s data agency said the 20-country single currency area recorded growth of 0.2 per cent over the July-September period from the previous quarter.

READ ALSO:Atiku Slams Tinubu Over U-turn On Pardon For Convicts

Advertisement

The figure was higher than the 0.1 per cent forecast by analysts for Bloomberg and FactSet.

More details later…

Advertisement
Continue Reading

News

PHOTOS: Police Inspector, Others Die In Lagos-Ibadan Expressway Multiple-truck Crash

Published

on

At least four persons were feared dead while several others sustained injuries in a multiple-vehicle crash involving five articulated trucks on Kara Bridge, inward Mowe, along the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway on Thursday.

A police inspector attached to the Lagos State Police Command was said to be among the victims.

The Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Moshood Jimoh, who confirmed the incident on Thursday during a visit to the scene, said emergency response teams worked through the early hours to rescue victims and clear the wreckage.

Advertisement

“We have a case of multiple accidents at the border between Ogun and Lagos State. Five vehicles were involved, all articulated vehicles. Precisely, three people have been rescued from the scene of the accident.

READ ALSO:Ten Feared, Others Injured In Oyo Road Accident

As early as 5 a.m., we have been on it, and we have other agencies here assisting us. We have LASTMA, the Road Safety Corps, and other security agencies,” Ishola said.

Advertisement

He explained that preliminary investigations showed the crash was caused by a trailer that suffered brake failure.

At the beginning, we have a trailer that failed to brake, and it is important that everybody in charge of their vehicle ensures proper maintenance,” he stated.

The commissioner also confirmed the death of one of his officers who was part of the police advance team deployed to the scene.

Advertisement

READ ALSO:41 Killed In Mexico Bus Accident

“It’s very unfortunate that we lost one of our police inspectors who came with our advance team to salvage the situation,” he said.

Ishola cautioned motorists, particularly drivers of articulated vehicles, against reckless driving, which he described as a leading cause of fatal crashes on highways.

Advertisement

We want road users, especially those driving articulated vehicles, to stop this kind of recklessness. If they are not reckless in their driving habit, we won’t have this kind of accident,” he warned.

Rescue operations involving the police, Federal Road Safety Corps, Lagos State Traffic Management Authority, and other agencies were still ongoing as of press time, while efforts to remove the damaged vehicles and restore traffic flow continued.

 

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Trending