News
OPINION: Protest, Dangote And Other Stories [Monday Lines]

By Lasisi Olagunju
Nigeria is a drama, an entertainment. Listen to the ‘Wahala’ singer, Portable, as he wonders why anyone would want him to join this week’s proposed protests. Yes, he admits that he joined protests in the past. But he says that was when he was poor. “Now I am rich…You want a rich man to protest?” He asks cynically. He does not want an answer. Portable’s video looks like it would be the end of all protests if we all became wealthy. The government should love it. I do.
The government and Portable join forces to beg you not to protest on August 1. I don’t care if you protest or you protect your turf. All I crave is no violence. I urge you to look deeply at other areas of our governance. Look at the laws being made and the laws being interpreted. They can make your protests useless, your bad worse and the worse disastrous. Can you remember what Judge Gideon John Tucker said about lawmakers and the laws they make? The American, in 1866, wrote in a court record: “No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.” Fortunately, at this moment, our own legislators are on break. Or how would we have combined their presence with threats of protests from the north to the south?
However, whether the lawmakers are in session or not, they are still working very hard and harder like obedient Boxer in George Orwell’s Animal Farm. Boxer is that Orwellian horse who believes strongly that “if Comrade Napoleon says it, (then) it must be right.” His motto is: “I will work harder.” With them, Tinubu is the Big Brother; always right. A democracy can have a bumbling executive but it must not have a stupid, servile legislature and a deliberately ‘illiterate’ judiciary. The country is in the throes of a to-be-or-not-to-be protest over these very bad times. In desperate moments as we are, the legislature and the judiciary should be stabilizing forces. Sadly, they are not. They’ve willingly donated their freedom to the Villa. I heard an elder say no one begs to be sold into slavery. It is not in all cases. I remember a character, Kent, in Shakespeare’s King Lear whose ambition is to be servile to power:
King Lear: Who are you?
Kent: A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king.
King Lear: If you’re as poor a subject as the king, then you’re certainly poor enough. What do you want?
Kent: To serve.
Lear: Whom do you want to serve?
Kent: You.
King Lear: Do you know me, fellow?
Kent: No, sir. But there’s something in your face that makes me want to call you master.
King Lear: What’s that in my face?
Kent: Authority.
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Protestant Greeks in Abuja [Monday Lines]
What Kent sees in King Lear’s face is exactly what Senate president, Godswill Akpabio, and his men see in President Bola Tinubu. The ‘authority’ in the cap of the president makes our lawmakers desperately seek to serve Tinubu and call him master.
This president is lucky to have Akpabio as Senate president. If President Olusegun Obasanjo had had him as the head of the National Assembly, he would have got his third term. Today, there is a bill before the Senate seeking a single-term of six years for the president and the governors. Thirty-five senators sponsored the bill. If the president wants this Senate to pass the bill today and the implementation to start this moment with him as the first beneficiary, his will shall be done. The lawmakers will do it “in national interest.” The Supreme Court will approve it.
There are other matters that should concern you. A justice of the Supreme Court addressed tenure extension in the court’s recent judgment on Local Government funds. He wrote: “Under Section 135 (3) of the Constitution, the tenure of 4 (four) years for the president provided for by Section 135(2) thereof, shall be extended for periods not exceeding ‘a period of six months at any time’ by a resolution of the National Assembly, if it ‘is not practicable to hold elections’. By the same token, by a law of a State House of Assembly, the tenure of local government councils can be legally extended, for any reason, such as insecurity or war, if it becomes impracticable or impossible for elections into the local government councils to be conducted. The mandate given to an elected local government council is the mandate of the electorate of that local government area and if the tenure is extended, it is the people’s mandate that is extended…” I found that reasoning quite ingenious! Was that point one of the issues canvassed before the court? Read it again.
Someone said Nigeria is a Netflix series. Two deputy governors in Edo; two speakers in Rivers, two emirs in Kano. All courtesy of the judiciary. We wait to see the next set of twins in our mad political ward. But while we wait, I salute the spell makers who started the blockbuster protest drama going on. They have corralled this government into working for their scheme. They couldn’t have given better oxygen to their protest agenda than the government spin doctors have done so far. August 1 may be an anti-climax; the audience is satisfied already.
Meanwhile, the Bola Tinubu government has been dancing to Da Grin’s music lately:
“T’an ba s’eyin bi aya,
Won a s’are kabakaba.”
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: LGs And Tinubu’s Supreme Cut [Monday Lines (2)]
The song is too onomatopoeic to accept the corruption of translation. I should just say it warns that you will run helter-skelter if you cross the line of decency. Is the government truly in panic mode because of threats of protests? Or is it acting its own scene in the tragedy that mocks the people’s pains? The Villa has become a house of feasts. It hosts kings and priests; princes and principals. And when they come out, they tell the hungry: “Peace!” I also join them to chant peace be upon Nigeria. If the protest organizers want to protest despite the state’s pleas and threats, they should please tell looters of stores and warehouses not to come out. They should also tell those who killed and ate human beings in the name of protests in 2022 that they are not welcome. All these happened during the EndSARS crisis and they were not funny. They gave activism a very bad name. I don’t think anyone wants such mayhem added to the headache of hunger in every home.
The protest drama has got an interlude. The Dangote/NNPC series. In size, strength and beauty, the Dangote horse in Lekki fits the race and the battle. But Aliko Dangote’s observers demand to know why the super-rich man started looking for feedstock after building a refinery. No Muslim prays first before doing ablution. “May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse?” That is Shakespeare again in King Lear, Act 1, Scene 4. No one does that without injuring the horse and stalling the cart. Why did he do that? We are talking of a master sculptor here, not a woodpecker. Cricket (Lántètè in Yoruba) was asked why he fixed his wedding date and on that very day commenced cooking the expected baby’s teething medicine. He answered that whatever should be fast should never be delayed.
I want to believe that Dangote did not become this super rich by doing things in the wrong order. No. It just happened that: “Now a new king arose over Egypt who did not know Joseph…” – Exodus, chapter 1, verse 8. Whether in Egypt or Israel, the one who trusts in their chariots and takes things for granted always have their journey extended well into the night. Even those who claimed affinity with God roamed the wilderness for 40 years. But the refinery is a national asset that should be made to work. This is where a pro-business government should come in to still the boiling waters. And I think it has. NNPC’s Alsatian appears on a leash. The investment is huge. Nigerians say they need that refinery.
There will be hunger, anger and protests where 20 bean cakes serve two hundred masquerades. The next scene flows directly from the Dangote/NNPC Act. The scene is where 200 million Nigerians scramble for proceeds of 200,000 barrels of crude oil. Nigeria’s daily crude production is about 1.4 million barrels. But the country is left with 200,000 barrels per day to finance its budget. You wonder why and ask where the remaining 1.2 million barrels go? The government we have, and the ones we have had, helped us to eat tomorrow’s food yesterday. In simple prose, today’s crude production pays for money already collected and spent. That is why the government is broke and has gone for the broke; that is why the government squeezes honey out of us. It is a revelation that shows that things are worse for Nigeria than is ever imagined.
I once quoted a report in the Washington Post of May 4, 2016 which spoke of an oil-rich nation that should be rich but “instead, it’s becoming a failed state”; that had been run down so much that it “can’t afford to brew its own beer, stay in its own time zone, or even have its own people show up to work more than two times a week.” How did that country get here? The report describes the tragedy as an entirely man-made catastrophe. “Economic mismanagement at a world-historical scale had barely left it with enough money to even, well, pay for printing money anymore.” That country got here by “spending more than it had and not having as much as it should.” That is a country that thought of spending money, and did spend money that it did not earn. “You can’t redistribute oil profits if there aren’t oil profits to redistribute,” the report says the country did just that and followed it up with policies like the president replacing “people who knew what they were doing with people he knew would be loyal to him at the state-owned oil company.” That action, among others, it says, scared oil companies out. That country is not Nigeria. It is Venezuela, Nigeria’s twin brother.
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Tinubu’s ‘Taste’ Gerontocracy
The August protest will come and go; the problem of Nigeria will remain. Protests have failed to melt the hardened heart of the rulers of Venezuela. Suffering-and-smiling has failed them too. The country has continued to dwell in a maelstrom of violence and grinding poverty. The United Nations keeps a tab on what goes on in that country. Its report says, today, Venezuela suffers from one of the highest rates of undernourishment in South America, and 68% of the people struggle to afford food. The country faces a humanitarian crisis with nearly 8 million people (out of 29.4 million) taking refuge in other countries. Some 2,000 people flee Venezuela every day, displaced because of rising crime and violence and shortages of food, medicine and essential services. It held a presidential election yesterday.
August is this week. The country is on edge. People with the right oracle say the actual protesters are the entity called the north. They say the aggrieved harbor the anger of the conned. And they cannot be named. You would think that those who offended them would know how to appease them. Both sides should know what they ate that is giving them constipation. They should also tell us the broth they cooked that is setting the house ablaze.
Nigeria’s drama, like Venezuela’s, is unending. Every Scene is linked to an Act. The link could be through the characters, or the theme, or the sub-themes. The plot is predictable. So much is happening right now. So much may still happen. May Thursday, August 1 meet us in peace.
News
I’ll Support Trump To Fight Terrorism In Nigeria If… – Wike
The Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Nyesom Wike, has said that he would support US President Donald Trump if he provides technology to combat terrorism in Nigeria.
Wike stated this on Monday while responding to questions in an interview on Politics Today, a programme on Channels Television monitored by DAILY POST.
His comment comes in the wake of the Christian genocide allegation in Nigeria made by Trump.
It will be recalled that Trump recently designated Nigeria as a “Country of Particular Concern” over the same allegation.
READ ALSO:Trump To Receive Full Menu Of Options To Stop Nigeria Genocide – US Rep, Moore
The US President also said that he had asked the Defence Department to prepare for possible military action in Nigeria if the Nigerian government “continues to allow the killing of Christians”.
Responding, Wike said, “It is not enough for me to capitalise that people are dying in Plateau, Benue and other places.
“I have said that I will support Trump in providing and supporting Nigeria with technology in the fight against terrorism. I will also support any country that wants to proffer solutions in tackling terrorism in Nigeria.”
News
OPINION: Trump’s Wrath Of Oedipus
By Lasisi Olagunju
Mr Donald Trump and his Generals are buckling their armour to wipe out terrorists who kill Christians in Nigeria. “I am hereby instructing our Department of War to prepare for possible action. If we attack, it will be fast, vicious, and sweet…” the American president tweeted yesterday. Nigerians who heard Trump probably wondered where he is going to start from. People abducting people, people killing people are everywhere in Nigeria: North-East, North-West, North-Central, the South – everywhere. The forests are deeply infested; the cities have them thick behind seedy walls. How do you kill terrorists in a terror territory without killing everyone?
I risk this question: Who is the real killer here?
What is killing Nigerian Christians, indeed, what is killing Nigerians of all faiths, is not just religion or religionists. The true assassin is the Nigerian structure; an abnormality sculpted with the cold chisel of Mr. Trump’s America and its complicit allies. As Tacitus once wrote of Rome, “They make a desert and call it peace.” Nigeria is a malformed republic calcified by those who pretend to defend it. The Nigerian structure empowers extremism and fetters the law. It enjoys the backing of the West.
Now, Trump says he is coming. Some saviours come to compound calamities. In Ola Rotimi’s ‘The Gods Are Not to Blame’, the Nigerian adaptation of Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex, Odewale is the celebrated liberator who becomes king. There is Baba Fakunle, the old, blind diviner of Kutuje. When the king, Odewale (the Oedipus figure), summons the seer to help identify the cause of the kingdom’s troubles, Baba Fakunle immediately sees the king himself as the source of the curse afflicting the land: “You are the murderer you seek”, the blind tells the king. He proceeds to even call him “bed sharer.” But the hot-tempered king thinks the prophet subversive, a coupist.
Tiresias in Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex, like Ola Rotimi’s Baba, is the blind who perceives what the sighted king cannot see. The blind reveals that the sickness of the city flows from King Oedipus himself. He is the murderer. Oedipus, who vows to cleanse Thebes, is the source of the plague and “pollution” of Thebes. Today’s world has Oedipuses; it has no Tiresias. The truth bearer exists neither in America and its allies nor in their viceroys, defenders of peace who switch off rights in search of freedom.
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Saluting Our Permanent Patriarchs
Donald Trump described Nigeria as “a disgraced country.” It is surprising that Nigeria has had no word to reply to that insult. His threats are directed at the bad children in the forests of the north. There is not a whimper from the ACF and the Northern Elders Forum. Where is their usual courage? Where is the Federal Government? If I would be cynical, I wouid ask: Why not invoke our efficient Cybercrime Act to deal with this? In case the government missed the assault, it is there in Trump’s tweet on Truth Social:
“If the Nigerian Government continues to allow the killing of Christians, the U.S.A. will immediately stop all aid and assistance to Nigeria, and may very well go into that now disgraced country, ‘guns-a-blazing,’ to completely wipe out the Islamic Terrorists who are committing these horrible atrocities. I am hereby instructing our Department of War to prepare for possible action. If we attack, it will be fast, vicious, and sweet, just like the terrorist thugs attack our CHERISHED Christians! WARNING: THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT BETTER MOVE FAST!”
America’s Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, with a “Yes sir” replied Trump with ‘automatic alacrity’. He said his boots were “preparing for action” on the soil of Nigeria. He posted on X:
“Yes sir. The killing of innocent Christians in Nigeria — and anywhere — must end immediately. The Department of War is preparing for action. Either the Nigerian Government protects Christians, or we will kill the Islamic Terrorists who are committing these horrible atrocities.”
Greek historian and Athenian General, Thucydides, underlined the causes of war: power, fear, and ambition. He warned that “the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.” Secretary Pete Hegseth’s words are a salute, and a promise of death wrapped in benevolence. He and his boss spoke as relievers of the besieged of Nigeria. We thank them for their interest. But where are they going to start from?
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: ‘Federal Highways of Horror’
“They can start from anywhere,” a voice replied me.
“Where is anywhere?”
It is cool to read Trump’s promise of reprieve; we’ve seen too much not to embrace any messiah who comes around. Too many have died with their blood calling for vengeance. But this Trump rain, if it ever falls, won’t fall on one roof. Oedipus comes into Thebes, kills their terror and for that is made king. Years later, the saviour’s coming becomes bad, mass death.
I read online many who are happy that Bola Tinubu’s government is facing fire from America. Some of these are even from the Muslim North. Ancient Romans would see this and intone: “Amicus meus, inimicus inimici mei” (my friend, the enemy of my enemy). Mathematical sociologists would dust up Frank Harary’s formalisation of the Balance Theory; they would trace their signed graphs, and point to Fritz Heider’s insight that a pair of friends with a common enemy forms a balanced triangle: A friend of my friend is my friend (+ × + × + = +). A friend of my enemy is my enemy (+ × – × – = +). An enemy of my enemy is my friend (– × – × + = +). Politics!
It is strange that a government that has conquered everyone is now being conquered from a strange angle. “History shows that there are no invincible armies and never have been” (Josef Stalin).
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Ofala: Glo And An Invite From Agbogidi
I would have joined in the celebrations to welcome Trump but for the fact that history shows me the strong disguising ambition with the language of virtue; I hear the powerful invoking justice and faith while pursuing dominance. If I asked the Greek to use human history and experience to analyse Mr. Trump’s threat of a war to end all terrorist wars in Nigeria, Thucydides would likely have viewed Trump’s threat with cold, unsentimental realism. To him, the tough-talk would not be an act of moral outrage but a performance of power. He would see in Trump’s posture not compassion for the Nigerian victim of terror; the historian would see the timeless logic of empire: using other people’s tragedy to affirm strength and moral superiority.
As Thucydides might have put it, “War is not so much a matter of right as of necessity.” From history to literature, we find that those who claim to fight for justice are often merely fighting for influence. In the eyes of experience, America’s preparation “for action” would be less about saving faith, limbs and lives; it will be more about staging yet another play in the endless drama of power.
So, I ask: Is the noise from the US truly targetted at the Nigerian Wall of Jericho? We wait to see.
We are a complicated country with complex problems. If Trump kills all today’s terrorists tomorrow, how about the next generation of killers that will come out the day after? The hatchery is not tired of making them.
So, where is the way? Donald Trump’s message of war? It cannot be the way. One thing is certain, this crisis and the response to it echo a tragic pattern: leaders are chasing false targets; messiahs will end up as wrathful Oedipuses whose presence will poison the land. These healers, they will spread plague.
News
OPINION: Saluting Our Permanent Patriarchs
By Lasisi Olagunju
Respect old age. A “strictly by invitation” conclave of Yoruba cardinals sat for two days last week, not in the traditional capital, Ibadan, but in aged Akure, Ondo State. They took the masquerade to the eastern ancestral grove and had it costumed there. If your masquerade was not there, it is because your buttocks were deemed too small for the gilded stools there. And by not being there, you just missed balls of àkàrà made specially in frying pans of honey. The cardinals sat and chose for the whole race and decreed that “we must speak with one voice.” Their Holinesses danced to African pop singer, Angélique Kidjo’s ‘Agolo’ in their own sacred way and ordered that the waist-beads of their Olajumoke must remain where it is. Who are we to say the mouth of the elder stinks? That is the judgment of age, the decree from the ancestors’ gavel. Coourt!
It is an African thing. Of what use is age if you can’t use it to dominate the youth? Àgbà kò níí tán l’órí ilè is a daily prayer in Yoruba land. It simply means “may elders not be extinct in our land.” What the Akure papacy wants is already being done in other parts of Africa. The results have been phenomenal. I am moving from Cameroon to Côte d’Ivoire, then Tanzania, and, then other places where age is prized far higher than rubies.
They say wisdom comes with age. If that is true, no matter how “disgraced” Donald Trump says we are, East and West, Nigeria has pearls of ancestral wisdom. To our immediate East, we have Paul Biya of Cameroon; a little far west, there is Alassane Ouattara of Côte d’Ivoire. They are the current champions. Our immediate western neighbour, Benin Republic, has just banned the main opposition candidate and his party from the next presidential poll. These and many more enjoy the nod of the lords who created these countries.
I have ‘data’ people, young persons around me. They flirt into my fort and speak grammar and literature. First, they talk “gerontocracy”; then I hear “heart-cutting paradox” of Africa being the world’s youngest continent by median age, “yet it is being governed by some of the oldest leaders on earth.” Talk is cheap. What do they know? What an elder sees while seated, a child in space can’t see.
Indeed, Africa, this moment, has the wisest gathering of aged priests of power ever assembled.
In the North, there sits Abdelmadjid Tebboune of Algeria (80), Abdel Fattah el-Sisi of Egypt (71), and Kais Saied of Tunisia (67 — just under seventy, but invested with self-made powers broad enough to last him till eternity).
In West Africa, the procession of patriarchs includes Bola Ahmed Tinubu of Nigeria (73), Joseph Boakai of Liberia (80), and Alassane Ouattara of Côte d’Ivoire (83). Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo of Ghana, now 81, bowed out, leaving the stage in January 2025 for his old rival, John Dramani Mahama, 66, to steer the ship once again.
In Central Africa, Mother Africa is still blessed with the grandest of elders: Paul Biya of Cameroon (92), Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea (83), and Denis Sassou-Nguesso of the Republic of the Congo (81).
In Eastern and Southern Africa, the grey reign continues: Yoweri Museveni of Uganda (81), Isaias Afwerki of Eritrea (79), Emmerson Mnangagwa of Zimbabwe (83), and Cyril Ramaphosa of South Africa (73). Hage Geingob of Namibia passed away on 4 February 2024 at the age of 82. He was succeeded by 84-year-old Nangolo Mbumba, who served until the March 2025 election that brought Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah, 73, to power — the country’s first female president.
Farther east, Djibouti’s parliament has just erased the age barrier that once capped presidential ambition, clearing the path for 77-year-old Ismaïl Omar Guelleh to seek a sixth term in 2026. And on the Ethiopian plateau, President Taye Atske Selassie will turn 70 next year.
We respect and value age; that is why Africa remains forever at the top. We are the continent where wisdom and endurance sit enthroned in power.
President Alassane Ouattara of Côte d’Ivoire is 83. He has just clinched a fourth term with the ease of a man ordering breakfast. Cast your gaze eastward to Cameroon, 92-year-old Paul Biya is there. BBC last week described him as “the leader who never loses.” He has kindly agreed to remain in office after only 43 years of national service – or should I simply call his reign ‘uninterrupted power supply’? Forty-three years in some democracies would be called eternity; here in Africa, from the Mediterranean to the Cape of Good Hope, it is continuity.
Nigeria has so much to learn especially from Cameroon where grey hair rules completely and totally. Cameroon has a council of elders whose word is law. I searched the World Wide Web, asking the oracle for the secret of that country’s success. It is the bent gait of the leaders and the age of their ideas. It is difficult to believe, but it is true, the elders list is real: To President Biya’s right is the President of the Constitutional Council, Clément Atangana; he is 84 years old. Atangana it was who oversaw the recent election and announced the results that are being celebrated with stones and bullets in the streets of the country. There is also René Claude Meka, the 86-year-old Chief of Defence Staff. He guards the guards in the name of democracy. The president of the senate is Marcel Niat Njifenji, 91 years old. With Cavayé Yéguié Djibril, the 85-year-old Speaker of the National Assembly, Njifenji sees that laws are made for the good governance of the republic. They make laws, and when they finish minting the laws, they pass them to 83-year-old Laurent Esso, the indefatigable Minister of Justice. He executes the law and its convicts. The job of this council of elders is to keep the grandfather in power and tell the young to wait for their time.
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: Escaping From Nigeria
We have done well with democracy in Africa. It is no longer about freedom and welfare, and good living and life more abundant. It is about endurance – like dull, painful sex.
Latecomer Nigeria does not (yet) have its own official elders council as Cameroon. It should quietly be taking notes; that is what the wise do. We should envy Cameroon; Cameroon deserves our envy.
In Bénin, the constitutional court on 27 October, 2025, ruled to exclude the principal opposition party, Les Démocrates, from participating in the upcoming 2026 presidential election. The coast is clear for democracy in that country and for the incumbent. In East Africa, Tanzania’s presidential election was held on Wednesday last week. But the gods of polls had cracked the palm kernel of victory for the incumbent before the election day. President Samia Suluhu Hassan stood (and stands) on terra firma. She won before winning. Her opponents, candidates of the two primary opposition parties, were removed from the ballot by the gods of democracy. Their supporters are outside, burning tyres and getting buried.
Nigeria will do better than Benin and Tanzania. If those ones had appreciated better intelligence, they would not run into the quicksand of protests harrying their hills. Instead of shutting the gate against opponents and running against themselves, how about those opposition candidates simply defecting into the ruling party? If you check the physics of politics, you will understand why politicians are ferromagnetic beings; they respond to the magnet of money and power. In Nigeria, nobody will be disqualified in the next elections. The magnet in the ruling party sucks them into the vortex of power, and that ends it. Never mind what an Abuja court said on defection last Friday. The defected should forfeit their seats. Who does that? The higher courts will correct the abnormal orders.
Yoruba ancestors are great scientists. There is this Yoruba spell that pulls whoever it wants into its bossom:
Gerere,
Àwọ̀n maa wo won bo,
Gerere…
(Swiftly/ Net, drag them here/ Swiftly).
People of depth who massed in Akure last week know how this magnetic net is woven. It works in Yoruba’s Lagos – it is working in Nigeria. The Tanzanian lady should have come to learn here.
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION Generals, Marabouts And Boko Haram
I read online about children of protest dreaming of Tanzania in Nigeria. No. It won’t happen. Where is the main opposition party, the PDP? By the time we reach 2027, no opposition contraption will be well enough to stagger out of the ICU. After that feat, we will move to the next. What is next? Third term?
‘Third term’ is scandalous; we don’t want that chain for the neck of our Olajumoke. The respectable career goal is to be so good as to be begged to become king.
Let the children of anger keep punching their tired tabs and overused phones. Someone told me that when they finally look up from those chinko phones and ask, “Who’s that old man on the ballot again?” the answer will definitely be: “The same man you voted for when you were in primary school.”
Africa is proof that democracy is tired of term limits. The British blessed us with permanent secretaries; why not bless ourselves with permanent councils of elders complete with a permanent presidency. Imagine the elegance in that alliteration: “permanent presidency.” Pulsating.
Even in America where we copied this democracy nonsense, they are already building a throne for their king and sewing very regal royal robes. They have a king.
I read Thomas E. Cronin’s ‘On the Origins and Invention of the Presidency’ and laughed at the folly in the wisdom of the past. Cronin, by “presidency” meant American presidency.” He wrote: “In 1787 fifty-five of America’s best educated and most experienced men assembled in Philadelphia. Their average age was 42, most were lawyers or businessmen. Two-thirds had served in the Congress at one time or another; nearly twenty had served in the Continental army. Seven had been governors in their states. It was a convention of the well-bred, well-fed, well-read and well-wed.” These were the people, the 55 wise men who invented America’s presidential democracy, the one we copied like that poor student who Rank-xeroxed his mate’s exam script, name, matric number, all.
The mandate of the American wise men, according to Cronin, was “to devise an executive office that would also be effective and safe; strong enough to command respect, to help maintain order, to help conduct effective diplomatic affairs, to provide for more efficient administration, yet not so strong as to threaten civil liberties, or in any way aggrandize power contrary to the welfare of the general public.” They did what they had to do and for 229 years, they thought they got it right. They were wrong. Trump, holding Muhammadu Buhari’s toothpick, is at this moment, laughing at their wisdom.
A permanent presidency – a king – is being considered by those around America’s Trump. Or where were you last week when former White House chief strategist, Stephen Bannon, told The Economist that President Donald Trump would serve a third term? Stephen Bannon described a third term for Trump as essential to the nation’s future, a “vehicle of divine providence”, an “instrument of divine will” and “the will of the American people.” We were very unfair to President Olusegun Obasanjo, a successful third term for him would have been a valuable part of contemporary America’s literature review.
MORE FROM THE AUTHOR:OPINION: ‘Federal Highways of Horror’
This is the age of the aged. We should tell William Shakespeare that he lied; that the poet lied in his claim that “All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,…”
Shakespeare says the drama of life always comes to an end for actors and for spectators. It is not so in Africa. Go to Togo, don’t they have Faure Gnassingbé there after Gnassingbé Eyadéma? Gnassingbé served as the president of Togo from 1967 until his death in 2005. Gnassingbé Eyadéma’s son, Faure, filled what would have been a gap immediately and has led Togo since then. What else is the meaning of immortality?
Nigeria can improve on this. One man can be president; his son governor; his brother minister; his grandchildren commissioners.
The president can even combine all those posts and positions if he wants. It will be answered prayers.
This is a satire, but sometimes words fail the satirist and his satire. Satire itself is a dangerous thing because sometimes it stops being seen for what it is. But on this, I double down and hiss on reason and good judgment. This is the age of wisdom, I cling to the tail of the elephant of the aged, he alone can take us up the mountain before us.
In ‘As You Like It’, Shakespeare’s Jaques delivers the locus classicus on the seven ages of man. Life, Shakespeare’s character says, unfolds in seven acts; he calls them “ages”. First comes the helpless infant, “mewling and puking” and crying in a nurse’s arms; then the reluctant schoolboy, weeping and creeping to class with a shining face. Next, the lover, scribbling and sighing over verses, love poems, to his beloved; followed by the fiery soldier, proud, quick to quarrel, chasing fleeting glory: “A soldier, / Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard, / Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, / Seeking the bubble reputation /Even in the cannon’s mouth.” Then appears the wise judge, full of proverbs and dignity, his form rounded by comfort. Then age steals in, turning him into a thin, slippered old man, his once-bold voice now trembling and shrill. At last, the curtain falls on all, a return to infancy, “second childishness” and forgetfulness, bereft of sight, sound, taste, and self:
“Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”
For all enemies of age, I render, in modern English, the last stage in the passage above, Act II, Scene VII:
“The final stage of life
that ends this strange and eventful journey
is a return to childishness and complete forgetfulness;
without teeth, without eyes, without taste, without anything at all.”
The Shakespearean last stage is the age of nothing and nothingness. That is the age of our leaders. In nothing, nothing is bad. We love our own old age, we want it as long as it is Idi Bebere, the voluptuous, supple waist of Olajumoke.
- 
																	News5 days ago
JUST IN: Tinubu Decorates New Service Chiefs
 - 
																	News5 days ago
PHOTOS: Police Inspector, Others Die In Lagos-Ibadan Expressway Multiple-truck Crash
 - 
																	Headline3 days ago
Christian Genocide’: Trump Designates Nigeria As Country Of Particular Concern
 - 
																	Metro5 days ago
JUST IN: Fire Guts Store At Abuja Mall
 - 
																	Headline3 days ago
Trump Breaks Silence On ‘Christian Genocide’ In Nigeria
 - 
																	Politics3 days ago
PDP Reacts To Court Ruling On Planned Convention
 - 
																	Politics3 days ago
FLASHBACK: How Tinubu Blamed Jonathan For Killing Of Christians In 2014
 - 
																	Politics5 days ago
JUST IN: All Enugu Reps Defect To APC
 - 
																	News4 days ago
NAF Redeploys 25 Senior Officers
 - 
																	News4 days ago
Bank MD Jailed Five Years For N32m Fraud