Connect with us

News

OPINION: Should Elected Nigerian Leaders Undergo Psychiatric Tests?

Published

on

Tunde Odesola

Guitar Boy, Sir Victor Uwaifo, is dead. But the ‘Mami Water’, which he saw at the Bar Beach and sang about in 1966 when he was just 25 years old, lives on. Today, the ‘Mami Water’ swam all the way up from the deep and boomed through a giant loudspeaker at the Ojota motorpark in Lagos, singing: “Guitar Boy/Guitar Boy/If you see mami Water o/If you see mami water o/Never, never you run away/Eh, eh/Never run away, Victor Uwaifo…” Even angels in heaven can’t resist dancing to the electrifying guitarwork of the song. 🎶Pin-pin/🎶dun-dun/🎶pin-pin/🎶dun-dun/🎶pin-pin/ 🎶dun-dun…Guitar Boy!…If you see mami water o…🎶.

Advertisement

A garage thug, Kilimanjaro, sings along with Uwaifo in a gruffy voice, cigarette smoke billowing down his nostrils like a fumes-belching locomotive driven by a grumpy engineman.

“That time wey Mami Water dey tell Victor Uwaifo make e no run, Nigeria never turn into jungle. Now, na Mami Water herself don dey run from Nigerians. If Mami Water and Papi Water show for Naija now, Nigerians go chop dem with dem bones and fins,” Kilimanjoro bellows, coughing big phlegm up his throat, “twah!” he spits it out. “E no go better for my enemies!”

Lepa Shandy, a busybody hawker in the park, moves from one vehicle to the other, selling a jambalaya of medicines. “If you no get wife, girlfriend or olosho, no buy dis medicine o. Make you no go tamper your landlord wife or daughter if you no wan live under bridge,” Lepa Shandy announces.

Advertisement

She brings out another medicine in a colourful pack. “Dis one name na Caterpillar! Make una lift una joyful faces up and behold this one-cure medicine, epa gbogbo ise. Na New Delhi in New York City dem make am. E dey cure hepatitis, glaucoma, leprosy, COVID and AIDS. Dis medicine no dey cure HIV o. Me, I go tell you di truth. Just drink am with rainwater or well water. Das all.”

FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: President Tinubu Is Not Deaf

“Ehs! Ehs! Wos! Wobi!,” Kilimanjaro calls out to Lepa Shandy, “Shey you still get ‘Total Restoration’?”

Advertisement

“Ha, e don finish, people don rush am but I go get am next tomorrow. Na dollar cause di go-slow. How many packs you want?” “I want half dozen.” “OK, I go bring am next tomorrow.”

Lepa Shandy: “Shey, una dey see so, na my medicine those wey sabi dey ask for so o. ‘Total Restoration’ dey cure all types of worms, obesity, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, bone marrow, diarrhoea, diabetes, too much sweating, poor hearing, weak vision and fear.”

Kilimanjaro: Shey you hear say lion kill person for Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife?

Advertisement

Lepa Shandy: I hear di news o. Man and animal just dey vex for Nigeria. Suffering too much. No difference dey between the Ife lion and Nigerian leaders. Both no get mercy. Both wicked well well.

Kilimanjaro: Di lion for go Az-o-Roc, after e visit Az-o-Roc, make e enter legislature, judiciary and the ministries one by one. After Abuja, make e come dey enter states one by one?

Kilamanjaro: Ha! Dem go kill am!

Advertisement

Lepa Shandy: Kill wetin!? Na Layon I dey talk about o, no bi lion o. Layon na combination of lion and ‘anjonu’ spirit. Even bomb no fit kill Layon. You no sabi say black power dey?

Kilimanjaro: Look, me I believe in action. Make we all comot for street, block everywhere, no work, make everywhere standstill. Na di only language wey our leaders dey hear bi dat.

Lepa Shandy: You don forget wetin happen for Lekki Tollgate?

Advertisement

FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Abacha Protests In Heaven, Begs To Return

Kilimanjaro: Dem stop Lekki riot because na only Lekki di riot take place. If to say other states of the federation join, government for negotiate nah. Government dey tighten poor masses belt, dem dey loose dem own belt. All dia pikin don turn billionaire finish. Poor man no fit chop one meal a day again. Wo, me I wan listen to the great national debate for radio, biko!

Lepa Shandy: Na wah o.

Advertisement

Kilimanjaro: After Buhari ride Nigerian donkey to coma, e kari half-dead donkey give im paddy, Tinubu, wey no fit complain publicly because dem bi Taiwo and Kehinde, different sides of di same coin.

Kilimanjaro: (Tuning the stereo in the road transport union office) When dem go begin di debate sef?

The secretary of the park, Acapela, tells Kilimanjaro to tune the stereo to Radio Enlightenment and Freedom 700.07 FM.

Advertisement

Kilimanjaro: Ha! Dem just dey start di debate. Rich man pikin school versus poor man pikin school. E go loud!

Debate Moderator: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the Great Debate! We have two schools slugging it out today. They’re Overlords Private College, Ikoyi, and Bondage Public School, Ajegunle. The topic of today’s debate is, ‘Should elected Nigerian leaders undergo psychiatric tests?’ Overlords Private College are saying NO to the topic while Bondage Public School are saying YES. The lead speaker of each school has five minutes to speak while the supporting speakers have three minutes each. I hereby welcome the lead speaker of Bondage Public School to the podium.

Bondage Lead Speaker: My name is Idris Ayomeye. I’m from Bondage Public School. I greet the distinguished chairman of this august occasion, the incorruptible panel of judges, the accurate timekeeper, my co-debaters and the esteemed audience.

Advertisement

FROM THE AUTHOR: Wande Abimbola @91: How An Ábíkú Decided To Live (1) [OPINION]

(The audience roars into applause)

Bondage Lead Speaker: I’m here to support the motion that Nigerian leaders should and must be subjected to psychiatric tests. Permit me, Mr Chairman, sir, to open my speech with these two Bible quotes: Proverbs 14:34: “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people”; and Romans 6:1: “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin and expect grace to abound?” These Bible quotations sum up the story of Nigeria, a country, where wickedness and injustice rule. It’s a country where the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission prosecutes and secures the conviction of a Nollywood actor, Oluwadarasimi Omoseyin, for ‘spraying’ the naira while the same EFCC looks the other way when Fuji musician, Alhaji Wasiu Ayinde, and one undignifying monarch, the Olu of Owode, Oba Kolawole Sowemimo, engaged in criminal abuse of the naira. I must commend the Egba Traditional Council for suspending Sowemimo over his disgraceful act. He should be sent back to ipebi for proper tutoring. I don’t know how some characters become obas in Yoruba land.

Advertisement

(Deafening applause. Kilimanjaro, Acapela and many people listening to the debate in the garage jump up in jubilation)

Bondage Lead Speaker: Mr Chairman, sir, Nigeria is a country of promise-and-fail leaders. President Olusegun Obasanjo set up the Oputa panel to try the wrongs of the past, but General Badamosi Babangida, who was accused of many wrongdoings blatantly refused to show up, and nothing happened. Babangida never appeared in court despite incriminating allegations over the death of Dele Giwa. Those who killed MKO Abiola and his wife, Kudirat Abiola, are walking freely today. One of them, a Major, is even pontificating all over the country.

(Kilimanjaro grabs a chair, puts it on his head and dances, shouting, “More! More! More!)

Advertisement

Bondage Lead Speaker: The Presidency, police, ICPC, rights activists, Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, etc see how people abuse the naira daily, yet they look away. Nigeria looks away as public hospitals have turned into morgues, public schools have become havens for hoodlums, roads have turned into deathtraps, electricity supply has turned to darkness supply! If a country can so brazenly exhibit injustice and brutality, tell me why its elected leaders shouldn’t undergo psychiatric tests. Please, tell me why.

(Shouts of ‘Tell them!’ ‘Tell them!’ Tell them! from the audience fill the hall)

Mr Chairman: (Hits his gavel on the table) Order! Order! Order! (The hall becomes less rambunctious)

Advertisement

Bondage Lead Speaker: (Wipes his face with a handkerchief and sips some water) General Muhammadu Buhari promised to jail the looters in the President Goodluck Jonathan administration. Who did he jail? Were we all not in this country when Patience Jonathan sought a plea bargain? Were we not all in this country when Buhari and his cabal brought in a fake airline as a national carrier, spending millions of dollars on the fake airline? Can someone tell me why our leaders shouldn’t be subjected to psychiatric evaluation? President Tinubu has been in the saddle for almost a year, chasing shadows, haunting the worst Central Bank Governor in the history of the country, Godwin Emefiele, but conspicuously leaving out Buhari, whose bidding Emefiele did. Can someone tell me why our…

Kilimanjaro: Ha!!! NEPA!!! Dem don cut light for studio o! Dem don become uncomfortable o. Haa! Naija and government magic…

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Advertisement

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

X: @Tunde_Odesola

Advertisement

News

Police Urge Bauchi Residents To Remain Calm Amidst Soldier’s Death In Bauchi

Published

on

By

The Police in Bauchi state has called on all the residents of the state to remain calm after a soldier was shot dead by a police officer in the state.

CSP Ahmed Wakil, the Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) made the call on behalf of the Commissioner of Police in the state, Sani Omolori-Aliyu.

Advertisement

According to him, Inter-agency security forces have initiated a thorough investigation into the circumstances surrounding the unfortunate incident which led to the death of the soldier.

The PPRO recalled how a blogger narrated the incident that a member of the Nigerian Army attached to 33 Artillery Brigade was fatally shot while attempting to intercept a truck suspected of transporting solid minerals from an illegal mining site in Futuk, Alkaleri Local Government Area of the state by a mobile police Inspector on illegal duty.

READ ALSO:

Advertisement

The blogger also said that the incident occurred on August 25 at about 7:50 p.m. when personnel from the 33 Artillery Brigade, Bauchi, purportedly stopped a truck with the registration number Gombe 676-BLG at a checkpoint in Futuk village.

“The report further added that the truck driver refused to comply, prompting the Guard Commander, Master Warrant Officer, Ali Haruna, now deceased, to pursue the vehicle with his team on motorbikes until they managed to intercept it.

“That upon stopping the truck, Inspector Yusuf Ibrahim, a mobile police officer, exited his vehicle and opened fire on the Guard Commander, striking him in the abdomen.

Advertisement

“The blogger added that the soldiers at the scene overpowered the policeman and disarmed him. The injured officer was transported to the Gombe Specialist Hospital for urgent medical attention, but tragically succumbed to the gunshot wound,” said the PPRO.

READ ALSO:

He however, explained that preliminary investigations, revealed that the truck is associated with Guruje Mining Company Limited and ZURFI Company Limited, which possessed valid legal licenses in Gwana, Alkaleri LGA.

Advertisement

He said that this authorisation pertained to the extraction of lead and zinc minerals, which was obtained from the Mining Cadastre Office, Federal Republic of Nigeria, effective from 12th May 2023.

Wakil added that the companies have complied with all mining operational protocols of the Nigerian Minerals and Mining Act of 2007 and possessed a certificate of incorporation pursuant to the Companies and Allied Matters Act of 2020.

READ ALSO:Bumper Harvest: Foundation Distributes 6,000 Fertilizers To Farmers In Bauchi

Advertisement

“The mobile police officers attached to these companies were formally requested and approved to provide security for the safety of expatriate workers and fulfil other security responsibilities associated with the company. Inspector Yusuf Ibrahim was among those assigned to this duty.

“The company successfully extracted a substantial quantity of lead and zinc minerals, which were proposed for export, and relevant fees as revenue paid to the Federal Ministry of Mines and Steel Development, referenced by RRR code 3212-7561-4841.

“The Bauchi state Police command has constituted an investigation team of experienced detectives in collaboration with the Nigerian Army military police and are tasked with collecting and assessing all relevant information surrounding the incident’s remote and immediate causes,” Wakil said.

Advertisement

 

 

Advertisement
Continue Reading

News

How Becoming Bank Manager At 27 Changed My Life, Tony Elumelu Urges Trust In Africa’s Youths

Published

on

By

Prominent African businessman and philanthropist, Tony Elumelu, has reflected on the defining moment of his early career when he was appointed a bank branch manager at just 27 years old.

In a post shared on his LinkedIn page on Tuesday, Elumelu recounted how his appointment at AllStates Trust Bank changed the trajectory of his life and shaped his passion for empowering young people.

Advertisement

When I was 27, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime: I became a branch manager at AllStates Trust Bank, a young bank in Nigeria.

“Banking was beginning to change the country, it was the sector to be in, ripe for transformation, ready for disruption, for democratisation.

READ ALSO:EFCC Arraigns Six Katsina Revenue, Bank Workers Over N1.2bn Fraud

Advertisement

At that time, few believed a 27-year-old could successfully lead a bank branch. But that opportunity changed the entire course of my life.

“It gave me confidence. It gave me a platform. Most importantly, it gave me perspective,” he wrote.

Elumelu, who is the founder of the Tony Elumelu Foundation and chairs Heirs Holdings and United Bank for Africa, noted that his journey began not with financial capital but with trust.

Advertisement

His post continued, “That’s why today, I am passionate about giving young people the same chance I was given. Because I know what’s possible when someone believes in you early.

“This belief is at the heart of everything we do at The Tony Elumelu Foundation. It’s why we invest in young African entrepreneurs – because someone once invested in me.

READ ALSO:EFCC Arraigns Bankers, Accomplices For Alleged N8.5bn Fraud

Advertisement

My journey didn’t begin with capital. It began with trust. Let’s keep believing in Africa’s youth. They are ready to lead, grow and transform our continent.”

In a follow-up post on X on Friday, the business leader further highlighted three lessons from his experience as a young bank manager.

“Shared recently on my LinkedIn page how I became a bank manager at just 27. I got a lot of questions. One stood out: How could someone so young handle such responsibility?

Advertisement

“Many doubted a young man could lead a bank branch. That chance changed the entire course of my life,” he wrote.

READ ALSO:Sealing Spree: FCTA Sledge Hammer Hits FIRS Office, Bank, Fuel Station, Others

Outlining the lessons from his journey, Elumelu wrote, “Lesson 1: Age is not a barrier. If you can execute, are hungry to learn, and committed to results — you can lead at any age. Leadership is about clarity of vision and that discipline to execute.

Advertisement

“Lesson 2: The most powerful capital is trust. My journey didn’t start with money — it started with trust. Trust was the seed that propelled everything else. Give young people trust, and they will surprise you. I was trusted, I repaid that trust.”

In the third lesson, Elumelu explained why perspective matters in leadership.

He wrote, “Leadership is not about doing everything yourself. It is about empowering, setting direction, and providing clarity. The sooner you learn this, the faster you grow.

Advertisement

READ ALSO:Outrage As Bank Insists Bedridden 96-year-old Woman Must Appear For ID Verification

That’s why today, I am passionate about giving young people the same chance I was given. Cascading luck. Catalysing opportunity.”

Elumelu said these principles continue to drive his commitment to youth empowerment through his foundation.

Advertisement

It is the reason we invest in Africa’s youths at the #TonyElumeluFDN, because someone once invested in me,” he wrote.

My story is proof that when we trust in our youths, they are ready to lead, grow, and transform our continent. Let’s keep believing in Africa’s youths,” he concluded.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

News

Lawyer Sues Sanwo-Olu For Blocking Him On X

Published

on

By

Human rights lawyer, Festus Ogun, has filed a lawsuit against Lagos State Governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, at the Federal High Court in Lagos for allegedly violating his fundamental rights by blocking him on his verified X (formerly Twitter) account.

In the suit marked FHC/L/CS/1739/25, which was shared by Ogun on Friday via his facebook page, he said the governor’s decision to block him since 2021 was triggered by his “constructive criticisms” and “demand for accountability” over the October 2020 #EndSARS killings.

Advertisement

In 2021, I noticed that the Governor blocked me on his official X handle @jidesanwoolu owing to my constructive criticisms of his policies and demand for accountability in respect of the October 2020 #EndSARS Massacre,” Ogun wrote.

According to him, being blocked has deprived him of access to vital information.

READ ALSO:DSS Charges Nine Over Benue, Plateau Massacres

Advertisement

“Blocking me on X has prevented me from accessing public updates and receiving information about policies and governance in Lagos, which constitutes a violation of my right to receive information without interference,” he said.

In his originating summons cited by The PUNCH, the lawyer asked the court to declare the action unconstitutional, arbitrary, and discriminatory.

According to the lawsuit, Ogun said he sought “a declaration that, as a democratically-elected public office holder in Nigeria, the Respondent (@jidesanwoolu)’s blocking of the Applicant (@mrfestusogun), a citizen of Nigeria and resident of Lagos State, on X (formerly ‘Twitter’) is wrongful, unconstitutional, arbitrary and constitutes a gross.”

Advertisement

He further prayed the court to compel Sanwo-Olu to unblock him, issue a public apology, and stop targeting critics online.

READ ALSO:UK Bans Sanex Advert For Calling Black Skin ‘Problematic’, White Skin ‘Superior’

An order of perpetual injunction restraining the Respondent, his agents, privies or any other person or entity acting through or on his behalf, from further blocking the Applicant on X or any other social media platform,” the suit read.

Advertisement

Ogun, who described himself as “haunted, traumatised and emotionally disturbed,” stressed that the matter went beyond his personal grievance. “This suit is not just about me. I have filed this lawsuit in furtherance of public interest and with the hope that it sets a precedent in our digital rights jurisprudence,” he said.

The lawyer also invited the court to take guidance from a 2019 ruling in the United States.

I invited the Nigerian court to be persuaded by the decision of the US District Court in Knight First Amendment Institute v Trump where President Trump was found to be in violation of the 1st Amendment when he blocked US citizens for criticising him on Twitter,” he stated.

Advertisement

Ogun argued that intolerance to opposing views undermines democracy. “Intolerance to criticism and accountability is unconstitutional and undemocratic. Nigerian authorities continue to crack down on dissents, critics, journalists, bloggers and vocal citizens on social media using arrests, detention, surveillance, collusion with big techs and outright blocking, as weapons. That narrative must stop,” he warned.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Trending

Exit mobile version