News

OPINION: Should Elected Nigerian Leaders Undergo Psychiatric Tests?

Published

2 years ago

February 23, 2024

Editor

Tunde Odesola

Guitar Boy, Sir Victor Uwaifo, is dead. But the ‘Mami Water’, which he saw at the Bar Beach and sang about in 1966 when he was just 25 years old, lives on. Today, the ‘Mami Water’ swam all the way up from the deep and boomed through a giant loudspeaker at the Ojota motorpark in Lagos, singing: “Guitar Boy/Guitar Boy/If you see mami Water o/If you see mami water o/Never, never you run away/Eh, eh/Never run away, Victor Uwaifo…” Even angels in heaven can’t resist dancing to the electrifying guitarwork of the song. 🎶Pin-pin/🎶dun-dun/🎶pin-pin/🎶dun-dun/🎶pin-pin/ 🎶dun-dun…Guitar Boy!…If you see mami water o…🎶.

A garage thug, Kilimanjaro, sings along with Uwaifo in a gruffy voice, cigarette smoke billowing down his nostrils like a fumes-belching locomotive driven by a grumpy engineman.

“That time wey Mami Water dey tell Victor Uwaifo make e no run, Nigeria never turn into jungle. Now, na Mami Water herself don dey run from Nigerians. If Mami Water and Papi Water show for Naija now, Nigerians go chop dem with dem bones and fins,” Kilimanjoro bellows, coughing big phlegm up his throat, “twah!” he spits it out. “E no go better for my enemies!”

Lepa Shandy, a busybody hawker in the park, moves from one vehicle to the other, selling a jambalaya of medicines. “If you no get wife, girlfriend or olosho, no buy dis medicine o. Make you no go tamper your landlord wife or daughter if you no wan live under bridge,” Lepa Shandy announces.

She brings out another medicine in a colourful pack. “Dis one name na Caterpillar! Make una lift una joyful faces up and behold this one-cure medicine, epa gbogbo ise. Na New Delhi in New York City dem make am. E dey cure hepatitis, glaucoma, leprosy, COVID and AIDS. Dis medicine no dey cure HIV o. Me, I go tell you di truth. Just drink am with rainwater or well water. Das all.”

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“Ehs! Ehs! Wos! Wobi!,” Kilimanjaro calls out to Lepa Shandy, “Shey you still get ‘Total Restoration’?”

“Ha, e don finish, people don rush am but I go get am next tomorrow. Na dollar cause di go-slow. How many packs you want?” “I want half dozen.” “OK, I go bring am next tomorrow.”

Lepa Shandy: “Shey, una dey see so, na my medicine those wey sabi dey ask for so o. ‘Total Restoration’ dey cure all types of worms, obesity, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, bone marrow, diarrhoea, diabetes, too much sweating, poor hearing, weak vision and fear.”

Kilimanjaro: Shey you hear say lion kill person for Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife?

Lepa Shandy: I hear di news o. Man and animal just dey vex for Nigeria. Suffering too much. No difference dey between the Ife lion and Nigerian leaders. Both no get mercy. Both wicked well well.

Kilimanjaro: Di lion for go Az-o-Roc, after e visit Az-o-Roc, make e enter legislature, judiciary and the ministries one by one. After Abuja, make e come dey enter states one by one?

Kilamanjaro: Ha! Dem go kill am!

Lepa Shandy: Kill wetin!? Na Layon I dey talk about o, no bi lion o. Layon na combination of lion and ‘anjonu’ spirit. Even bomb no fit kill Layon. You no sabi say black power dey?

Kilimanjaro: Look, me I believe in action. Make we all comot for street, block everywhere, no work, make everywhere standstill. Na di only language wey our leaders dey hear bi dat.

Lepa Shandy: You don forget wetin happen for Lekki Tollgate?

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Kilimanjaro: Dem stop Lekki riot because na only Lekki di riot take place. If to say other states of the federation join, government for negotiate nah. Government dey tighten poor masses belt, dem dey loose dem own belt. All dia pikin don turn billionaire finish. Poor man no fit chop one meal a day again. Wo, me I wan listen to the great national debate for radio, biko!

Lepa Shandy: Na wah o.

Kilimanjaro: After Buhari ride Nigerian donkey to coma, e kari half-dead donkey give im paddy, Tinubu, wey no fit complain publicly because dem bi Taiwo and Kehinde, different sides of di same coin.

Kilimanjaro: (Tuning the stereo in the road transport union office) When dem go begin di debate sef?

The secretary of the park, Acapela, tells Kilimanjaro to tune the stereo to Radio Enlightenment and Freedom 700.07 FM.

Kilimanjaro: Ha! Dem just dey start di debate. Rich man pikin school versus poor man pikin school. E go loud!

Debate Moderator: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the Great Debate! We have two schools slugging it out today. They’re Overlords Private College, Ikoyi, and Bondage Public School, Ajegunle. The topic of today’s debate is, ‘Should elected Nigerian leaders undergo psychiatric tests?’ Overlords Private College are saying NO to the topic while Bondage Public School are saying YES. The lead speaker of each school has five minutes to speak while the supporting speakers have three minutes each. I hereby welcome the lead speaker of Bondage Public School to the podium.

Bondage Lead Speaker: My name is Idris Ayomeye. I’m from Bondage Public School. I greet the distinguished chairman of this august occasion, the incorruptible panel of judges, the accurate timekeeper, my co-debaters and the esteemed audience.

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(The audience roars into applause)

Bondage Lead Speaker: I’m here to support the motion that Nigerian leaders should and must be subjected to psychiatric tests. Permit me, Mr Chairman, sir, to open my speech with these two Bible quotes: Proverbs 14:34: “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people”; and Romans 6:1: “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin and expect grace to abound?” These Bible quotations sum up the story of Nigeria, a country, where wickedness and injustice rule. It’s a country where the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission prosecutes and secures the conviction of a Nollywood actor, Oluwadarasimi Omoseyin, for ‘spraying’ the naira while the same EFCC looks the other way when Fuji musician, Alhaji Wasiu Ayinde, and one undignifying monarch, the Olu of Owode, Oba Kolawole Sowemimo, engaged in criminal abuse of the naira. I must commend the Egba Traditional Council for suspending Sowemimo over his disgraceful act. He should be sent back to ipebi for proper tutoring. I don’t know how some characters become obas in Yoruba land.

(Deafening applause. Kilimanjaro, Acapela and many people listening to the debate in the garage jump up in jubilation)

Bondage Lead Speaker: Mr Chairman, sir, Nigeria is a country of promise-and-fail leaders. President Olusegun Obasanjo set up the Oputa panel to try the wrongs of the past, but General Badamosi Babangida, who was accused of many wrongdoings blatantly refused to show up, and nothing happened. Babangida never appeared in court despite incriminating allegations over the death of Dele Giwa. Those who killed MKO Abiola and his wife, Kudirat Abiola, are walking freely today. One of them, a Major, is even pontificating all over the country.

(Kilimanjaro grabs a chair, puts it on his head and dances, shouting, “More! More! More!)

Bondage Lead Speaker: The Presidency, police, ICPC, rights activists, Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, etc see how people abuse the naira daily, yet they look away. Nigeria looks away as public hospitals have turned into morgues, public schools have become havens for hoodlums, roads have turned into deathtraps, electricity supply has turned to darkness supply! If a country can so brazenly exhibit injustice and brutality, tell me why its elected leaders shouldn’t undergo psychiatric tests. Please, tell me why.

(Shouts of ‘Tell them!’ ‘Tell them!’ Tell them! from the audience fill the hall)

Mr Chairman: (Hits his gavel on the table) Order! Order! Order! (The hall becomes less rambunctious)

Bondage Lead Speaker: (Wipes his face with a handkerchief and sips some water) General Muhammadu Buhari promised to jail the looters in the President Goodluck Jonathan administration. Who did he jail? Were we all not in this country when Patience Jonathan sought a plea bargain? Were we not all in this country when Buhari and his cabal brought in a fake airline as a national carrier, spending millions of dollars on the fake airline? Can someone tell me why our leaders shouldn’t be subjected to psychiatric evaluation? President Tinubu has been in the saddle for almost a year, chasing shadows, haunting the worst Central Bank Governor in the history of the country, Godwin Emefiele, but conspicuously leaving out Buhari, whose bidding Emefiele did. Can someone tell me why our…

Kilimanjaro: Ha!!! NEPA!!! Dem don cut light for studio o! Dem don become uncomfortable o. Haa! Naija and government magic…

Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com

Facebook: @Tunde Odesola

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News

Two Schoolchildren Electrocuted In Anambra During Rainfall

Published

8 hours ago

October 14, 2025

Editor

Tragedy struck in Nnewichi, Nnewi North Local Government Area of Anambra State on Monday when two schoolchildren were electrocuted while taking shelter from the rain at a roadside shop.

The incident, which occurred at St. Peter’s Claver Junction, threw the community into mourning.

Eyewitnesses and CCTV footage revealed that several pupils had gathered at the shop to escape the downpour when the tragedy happened.

A resident near the scene, who pleaded anonymity, recounted, “Several pupils were taking shelter at the roadside shop during the heavy rainfall. But tragedy struck when the wet bodies of two of the schoolchildren came in contact with a live metal, and they were instantly electrocuted.”

According to witnesses, panic spread as the children collapsed instantly, while others narrowly escaped.

The shop owner was said to have not yet opened for business when the incident occurred.

“It took the intervention of some security officers and passers-by, who used protective gloves to evacuate the bodies,” another eyewitness said.

The incident came just days after a similar tragedy in the same Nnewi area, where a woman was swept away by floodwaters in the Uruagu community.

When contacted, the Anambra State Police Command spokesperson, SP Tochukwu Ikenga, confirmed the incident, noting that an investigation was underway.

“The facts are not clear yet, but the divisional police officer has been directed to find out the details for a comprehensive report,” Ikenga stated.

The latest tragedy adds to recent cases of electrocution in the state.

In May, a three-year-old girl was killed in Awka after stepping on a live cable belonging to the Enugu Electricity Distribution Company.

Residents had reportedly alerted officials about the fallen high-tension wire, but it was not repaired until after the fatal incident.

A resident, identified as Uche, said, “The cable fell on Friday and wasn’t fixed until Sunday, after it had electrocuted the girl. The officials even requested ₦30,000 to fix it but didn’t show up until it was too late.”

The repeated incidents have reignited public concern over poor electricity infrastructure and safety negligence in Anambra communities.

News

Oyo Orders Traders To Vacate Airport Road In Two Weeks

Published

8 hours ago

October 14, 2025

Editor

The Oyo State Government has issued a two-week ultimatum to traders operating along Airport Road, Old Ife Road, and Onipepeye areas of Ibadan to vacate the roadside or face enforcement action.

The directive was detailed in a Tuesday statement released by the Chief Press Secretary to Governor Seyi Makinde, Dr. Suleimon Olanrewaju.

He warned that the state would no longer tolerate roadside trading or the placement of container shops on drainage.

According to the statement, “the government has provided markets and other designated spaces for trading across the city, making it unnecessary and unsafe for traders to occupy roadsides.”

The government said the action was necessary to safeguard lives, prevent environmental hazards, and protect public infrastructure.

It also warned that trading on walkways and blocking drainage channels increases the risk of flooding and undermines the state’s efforts to promote tourism.

“The government has a duty to protect citizens from all manner of danger,” the statement said, noting that roadside trading exposes people to serious risks.

The ultimatum expires on October 27, after which enforcement will begin.

The government said “non-compliance could lead to the confiscation of goods and prosecution of offenders.”

It appealed for cooperation from residents to ensure a cleaner, safer, and more sustainable environment in the state.

News

Admissions: Mathematics No Longer Compulsory For Arts Students, Says FG

Published

8 hours ago

October 14, 2025

Editor

Nigerian senior secondary school students in arts and humanities will no longer be required to present a credit in mathematics in their Senior School Certificate Examination, organised by the West African Examination Council and National Examination Council, as a condition for admission to universities and polytechnics, the Federal Ministry of Education said on Tuesday.

For years, admission seekers in arts and humanities, like their contemporaries in sciences and social sciences, have been mandated to have five credits, including mathematics and English language, to secure admission into higher institutions.

“The revised National Guidelines for Entry Requirements into Nigerian Tertiary Institutions are designed to remove barriers while maintaining academic standards.

“The new framework applies to universities, polytechnics, colleges of education, and Innovation Enterprise Academies across the country as follows:

“Universities: Minimum of five (5) credit passes in relevant subjects, including English Language, obtained in not more than two sittings. Mathematics is mandatory for Science, Technology, and Social Science courses.

“Polytechnics (ND Level): Minimum of four (4) credit passes in relevant subjects, including English Language for non-science courses and Mathematics for science-related programs.

“Polytechnics (HND Level): Minimum of five (5) credit passes in relevant subjects, including English Language and Mathematics.

“Colleges of Education (NCE Level): Minimum of four (4) credit passes in relevant subjects, with English Language mandatory for Arts and Social Science courses, and Mathematics required for Science, Vocational, and Technical programs,” a statement by the FME’s spokesperson, Folasade Boriowo, said.

An education analyst, Ayodamola Oluwatoyin, who spoke to our correspondent in Abuja, hailed the reform.

“This is a brilliant reform, which we hope will open the doors and improve the ease of admissions into tertiary institutions for more seekers.”

The Minister of Education, Dr Tunji Alausa, described the reform as a deliberate effort to expand access to tertiary education.

The ministry also approved a comprehensive reform of admission entry requirements into all tertiary institutions across the country, increasing the average annual intake from about 700,000 to one million students.

According to the government, the new policy aims to expand access to higher education and create opportunities for an additional 250,000 to 300,000 admissions each year.

The minister explained that the reform became necessary after years of limited access, which left many qualified candidates unable to secure admission despite meeting the required standards.

“Every year, over two million candidates sit for the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME), yet only about 700,000 gain admission. This imbalance is not due to lack of ability but outdated and overly stringent entry requirements that must give way to fairness and opportunity.

“The reform is a deliberate effort to expand access to tertiary education, creating opportunities for an additional 250,000 to 300,000 students each year. It reflects our commitment to ensuring that every Nigerian youth has a fair chance to learn, grow, and succeed—putting the Renewed Hope Agenda into action,’’ he said.

The revised National Guidelines for Entry Requirements into Nigerian Tertiary Institutions are designed to remove barriers while maintaining academic standards.