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OPINION: The King Has No Friends

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By Suyi Ayodele

Marcus Brutus, the villain of William Shakespear’s epic drama, Julius Caesar, poetically defines the emergence of dictators thus:

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…But ‘tis a common proof,

That lowliness is young ambition’s ladder,

Whereto the climber-upward turns his face;

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But when he once attains the upmost round,

He then unto the ladder turns his back,

Looks in the clouds, scorning the base degrees

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By which he did ascend (Julius Caesar, Act II, sc.1)

To Brutus, the lead conspirator in the assassination of Julius Caesar on March 15, 44 BC, dictatorship begins with emotional appeal to the conscience of the masses by a latent oppressor. He cleverly covers his intention with the innocence of a Bishop at a tea party. The dictator gives his ‘last’ meal to the poor, so he seems; and the unsuspecting victims hail him. At another time, he throws the wretched crumbs from his sumptuous meal at the masses, who grab them, munch them with intense rapacity; and praise the ‘geneours donour’ as God-sent!

While preparing the masses for the eventual brutal Golgotha execution, the dictator massages their ego by pretending to be one of them. It is an art and act that only the mean can master; and only the unfeeling can deliver. The net of the oppressor is usually wide, enticing and cooling. The same way the net becomes suffocating when the dictator takes hold of the windpipes of the poor. Funny enough, the masses willingly submit their sovereignty to their oppressors.

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The battle cry of the masses to their would-be killer rulers has always been like the ‘Come and reign over us’ line in Keith and Kristyn Getty’s song: “Come Thou Almighty King.” By the time the dictator ‘heeds’ the call, it is always too late for the people to realise that they made a mistake by selling their monkeys, which they accuse of habitual squatting, to buy the dog, which proves to be the greatest squatter of all time!

Brutus’ thesis above, ensconced in poetic lines centuries ago, remains relevant in the Nigeria of the year 2024. No one can take away the truth that every dictator started the journey from the side of the masses. Sad, but true! No dictator in history started as a dictator; ugly but factual! They all started as friends of the people; used the people to climb the ladder of leadership and turned around to be the greatest oppressors of the people. While at the final act, they remain detached and completely isolated from those they went so ‘low’ with on the journey to power. In most cases, as can be found in ancient and contemporary histories, most dictators eliminate those who held the ladder from shifting while ascending to power, immediately the leader consolidates his hold on the levers of authority. Hitler and Napoleon are ready examples here.

If you think you are a friend of the king, you need to think twice. Once on the throne, except in very rare cases, kings become dictatorial. They burn all ladders they used in climbing the throne. Why they are like that, no mortal may know. Not long ago, an older friend (a big professional brother) told me about a nasty experience with one of the First-Class monarchs, who was (is) his friend. My friend, in company with other friends, visited the monarch, who happens to be their college classmate. They all played different roles during the preparation for the monarch’s ascendancy to the throne.

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So, when the monarch settled down, the old friends felt that it was proper that they paid him a visit. The first shock they got was that they had to wait for weeks before the appointment to see the monarch was approved. Again, on the appointed date, they were kept waiting in the palace for over five hours. When eventually they got to see the monarch, a professor among them was asked to speak on behalf of the group. That was where the problem started. The Alakowe (academic) started by saying that they were in the palace as “friends of the Oba”.

The monarch would not have that. He cut him short. The Oba told the ‘friend’, with whom he had played football, possibly chased lizards with catapults and did all sorts of things that boys do, that “Oba doesn’t have friends!” He did not stop there. He informed them: “You are all lucky that this is a modern age. If it were to be the old times of our fathers, I would have ordered that your heads be cut off at Ogun shrine!” The group apologised! The visit ended! The narrator said he would not remember if they were entertained; all that was on his mind, he told me, was how to get out of the palace with his head still hanging on his neck!

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I shared this story with another older pal. His response was: “The Oba was right. Obas don’t have friends. In the past, once a man was installed as an Oba, all his age mates would be eliminated; or asked to leave the town.” As I write this, I try to find the nexus between this weird behaviour and the saying of my people that afoba je ni Oba maá ńkókó ñpa (the king kills first, the one who crowns him).

The Nigerian masses are the friends and kingmakers, who crowned Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the President cum Emperor of the Nigerian State in March 2023. Many of the members of the Emilokan clappers club who enthroned Tinubu and made his May 29, 2023, inauguration as President possible, thought that Tinubu was their friend; a very insignificant few did that out of ignorance. It has been one year now that President Tinubu has been in the saddle. The question we are asking the Emilokan apologists, in the street lingo, is: How market? Unfortunately, every Nigerian is paying the price of the 2023 political misadventure!

The pain in the land spares nobody; the agony visits every homestead. We are all paying for what we did not buy, and Tinubu and his cold-hearted handlers are still asking us to pay more with their unending sadistic economic policies. And most unfortunately, while the masses groan, asking God to intervene, the one who rode to power on the high horse of oré mèkúnnù (friend of the masses), keeps throwing crumbs that project his fake love to the people, like he cares for the masses. In the Yoruba political parlance, such is called e wá isé fún won (give them work to do); this is what those in Public Relations and Marketing Communications also call “Talkability” The way of the dictator!

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Tinubu, just last week, gave Nigerians two “talkabilities”. The first came in the name of the law that brought back our old National Anthem of Nigeria We Hail Thee. The second is the issue of complete autonomy for the local government system. Ever since the president threw those two issues into the nation’s political firmament; nobody has paid attention to his abysmal failure in power and government in the last one year.

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It was so sad that Nigerians got preoccupied with the two issues, especially the old National Anthem, that many people did not remember that President Tinubu marked one year in office as President-do-nothing on May 29, 2024! My concern is not about the old National Anthem; its slavery tendencies (especially when we are virtually all slaves to Tinubu’s misrule); its desirability or otherwise; and those who refused to sing it or find it difficult to learn it. My worry here is the pig-ignorant applause Tinubu promoters are asking us to give to him for initiating the court matter on local government autonomy.

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In my engagement with one of the folks hailing Tinubu for the suit as a demonstration of his “love for the masses”, I told him that the appellation of “Tinubu’s pathological hater” notwithstanding, I make no bone about my conviction that there is nothing altruistic in the Federal Government-championed litigation for local government autonomy. It would also not matter if I happened to be the only one with this feeling about the facade going on in the Supreme Court. President Tinubu cannot give what he does not have! That is exactly what he attempts to do with his bojuboju Supreme Court case!

While one would support 100 percent an autonomous local government system, it beats my imagination to discover that someone like President Tinubu; a disguised federalist in a unitary garb, would be the one carrying the placard of that agitation to the Supreme Court; the autonomy that was killed, cremated and the ashes sprinkled in the Atlantic Ocean, while Tinubu held sway as the governor of Lagos State between 1999 and 2007.

Noble as his last week’s suit cum ‘crusade’ may appear to be, it is laden with grievous suspicions that the man who never allowed the local government councils to breathe when he was a governor, is the one asking the Supreme Court to order the same now that he is in Abuja as the president. Tinubu did not only strangulate the local government system while he was governor, he sustained the strangulation even as a godfather of the subsequent governors of the state to the present time. He started the idea of appropriating the allocations of the 20 constitutionally recognised local government areas in the state to feed his 37 creatures known as the Local Council Development Authorities (LCDAs).

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From the sweepers to the hybrid council chairmen, all players at the local government councils and LCDAs in Lagos State owe their appointments cum elections, retention and continuity to the Godfather himself, Tinubu. It has never been without a cost in every conceivable way, to the occupants of the mushroom chairmanship and councillor positions in that aquatic state. So, what has changed? Why has Tinubu suddenly become the ‘friend’ of the local government councils such that he is in the Supreme Court fighting for their autonomy? The answer is right here, staring us in our faces. It is all about 2027! He did it in the past and it worked for him.

FROM THE AUTHOR: OPINION: Why Were Miyetti Allah And Tinubu’s Iyaloja In Ibadan?

Nothing would stop President Tinubu from doing it again. And I add this based on his antecedent: if President Tinubu wins the 2027 general election, and with an obsequious Senate President like we have in Godswill Akpabio, Nigerians would one day wake up to discover that President Tinubu had signed the bill amending the tenure of all elected office holders to limitless terms! God forbid, you say? That may sound too pessimistic; but I would not put anything pass the Jagaban!

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I concede that one thing Tinubu has in excess, and which his opponents in the political terrain keep underestimating to their own peril, is the ability of the man to think outside the box; maneuvering his ways and tiptoeing among shrubs without missing his steps. Right from his return from the so-called ‘self-imposed’ exile in 1998, the major political venture to which Tinubu has committed his human and material, spiritual and physical resources to, is the Nigerian presidency. He is the real ‘Agba Baller’ in the nation’s political firmament. While the 2023 electioneering lasted, and his opponents were in all United States of America’ courts foraging for evidence of his alleged shady past in terms of forgery and other felonies, they left the man on the streets of Nigeria roaming freely.

By the time they returned to face the electorate, they discovered, to their utter damnation, that the same Bimodal Voter Accreditation Systems (BVAS), that uploaded the results of the National Assembly elections to the INEC result portal, had failed to upload the results for the presidential election. Incidentally, the elections were held at the same time, at the same venues, and the results sorted and inputted into the same machine. While the others were crying wolf all over the place, Tinubu was clinking glasses with his boys in the comfort of his home.

His antecedents as a political tomahawk ready to maul anything on its way, confirms my fear. I tremble each time I remember what became of the Yoruba socio-cultural group, Afenifere, and its political offspring, the Alliance for Democracy (AD), in the hands of Tinubu. Those two noble bodies were annihilated for an all-powerful Tinubu to emerge. Afenifere today is what my people call: kò kú, kò gbáyé (he is neither dead nor alive)!

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Here, we are talking of a man who out-witted the old fox himself, General Olusegun Obasanjo, to win a second term as Lagos State governor; when the likes of Chief Segun Osoba (Ogun), the late Adebayo Adefarati (Ondo); Chief Bisi Akande (Osun) and the last sibling of the political quintuplet victims of Obasanjo’s manipulation, Otunba Niyi Adebayo (Ekiti), failed woefully. Until recently when Baba Akande learnt how to drink his palm wine, quietly, under the tree in his Ila Orangun country home, nobody would believe that he was once a governor-colleague of Tinubu from 1999 to 2003. Whether we like it or not, that is a rich political voyage, the accompanying shenanigans notwithstanding!

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So, no one should make any mistakes about the Supreme Court case. As a political puff adder, Tinubu bares his fangs at anything that will threaten his political hegemony. President Tinubu is not asking for full autonomy for the local governments because of the cliche: “to bring development to the grassroots.” No! Tinubu needs a weak and financially impotent 36 states for him to ride roughshod over all his opponents in the 2027 general election. What he aims to achieve with the Supreme Court case is to have pseudo-autonomous 774 LGAs that will be eternally grateful to him for ‘saving’ them from their respective state governors. By the time the Supreme Court grants the relief, the states would have been down financially as they would no longer have access to the local government funds. Nobody should be deceived about the idea of true federalism.

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If President Tinubu is indeed a true promoter of true federalism, I dare him to subject the issue of state creation to public debate; I challenge him to approach the Supreme Court to grant financial autonomy, vide resource control, to all the federating states so that no state would have to go to Abuja cap in hand for revenue allocation. Complete state police is another way of entrenching true federalism. Tinubu should ask the Supreme Court to stop him as the president from appointing the Chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC); put the funding of the umpire on consolidated budget and allow the Judiciary, through the National Judicial Council (NJC), to appoint justices of the Appeal and Supreme Courts without the input of the president. The list is endless.

Without these, anyone supporting President Tinubu in this his perilous voyage is indirectly feeding our future Napoleon Bonaparte, Adolf Hitler and an all-consuming Frankenstein monster! I will not join the train. As long as President Tinubu is the appointing authority for the Chief Justice of Nigeria (CJN), INEC Chairman, all the Service Chiefs and heads of all para-military bodies as the Immigration, Customs and Prison, his fight for local government autonomy remains a huge joke and a mirage. It is nothing but a distraction from our main pains just like his last week’s voyage to our long-forgotten history of slavery in the name of an old-new National Anthem! Time will tell.

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[OPINION] House Agents: The Bile Beneath The Roof

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By Israel Adebiyi

I had tried, for months, to keep this subject at arm’s length. After all, The Nation’s Pulse has, by tradition, stuck its gaze on the big picture of national polity. But last week, my colleague, Joseph Kanjo, the ever-blunt Ijaw man, reminded me with his usual candour: “Israel, forget it. This matter has swum into national waters. You’ve got to discuss it on air.” And so here we are.

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From Lagos to Abuja, Port Harcourt to Benin, in every major Nigerian city, there exists a tribe of middlemen who have turned the simple act of finding a home into a nightmare theatre of deceit, extortion, and despair. They call themselves “agents.” But tenants, with good reason, now call them Shylocks.

Nigeria is living through one of its most pressing social problems, a housing deficit of over 20 million units. As urbanisation outpaces construction, the scramble for shelter has grown more desperate. The result? An inflated rental market where landlords demand one, sometimes two years’ rent upfront, and tenants are left calculating survival in instalments.

In this scarcity, agents found their goldmine. They became gatekeepers, the ones you must pass through before seeing the landlord, the ones who “hold the keys.” And, like Shakespeare’s Shylock demanding his pound of flesh, they squeeze tenants until every drop of naira is bled dry.

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Take Chinyere, a young nurse in Abuja, who shared her ordeal with me. After months of searching, an agent finally led her to a one-bedroom apartment in Kubwa. The rent was ₦600,000. By itself, already steep. But then came the add-ons: 10% agency fee, 10% agreement fee, inspection fee, caution fee, and a mysterious ‘legal’ fee. By the time she finished calculating, her total outlay stood at ₦850,000 – nearly ₦250,000 more than the agreed rent. “When I asked what the ‘legal’ fee was for,” she said, “the agent laughed and said, ‘Madam, that one na normal. No legal o.”

Or consider Osatohamwen, a factory worker in Benin, who parted with ₦50,000 as “inspection and commitment” fee just to secure a viewing. The agent vanished, phone switched off, house nowhere to be found. Such stories abound, whispered in frustration and traded in bitterness by Nigerians across class divides.

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What deepens the irony is that many of these agents take you to houses even they themselves would not live in. Dilapidated structures with cracked walls, leaking roofs, toilets that smell of neglect, and kitchens that could host cockroaches for dinner. Yet, they pitch them with salesmanship worthy of a Broadway stage: “Madam, this one na hot cake. If you no pay today, tomorrow e go don go.”

It is the cruelest part of the deception, dressing up misery as opportunity, knowing full well that desperation will silence protest.

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The tragedy is not just that tenants are extorted. It is that housing, one of life’s most basic needs, has become a gamble. Instead of safety and stability, many Nigerians now associate house-hunting with anxiety, loss, and betrayal. Families uprooted because a landlord suddenly doubled rent. Students stranded because an agent promised a “self-contained” that turned out to be a room with shared facilities. Newlyweds spending their honeymoon nights on relatives’ sofas because the house they paid for was given to someone else with “better money.”

The bigger shame is that Nigeria’s regulators look the other way. The housing sector remains one of the most unregulated spaces in our economy. No clear codes for agents. No enforceable penalties for fraud. No safeguards for tenants. In the vacuum, chaos reigns and the Shylocks thrive.

The comparison is sobering: in developed countries, property agents are licensed, their fees capped, and their conduct regulated. Here, anyone with a key ring and a contact on WhatsApp can become an “agent.” And Nigerians, desperate for shelter, must play along.

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Let’s be clear: agents are not the disease; they are the symptom. The disease is a deep housing crisis that leaves millions without roofs, and those with roofs perpetually at risk of eviction. The cost of cement rises, urban planning is chaotic, mortgages are inaccessible, and public housing is virtually non-existent. In such a system, desperation breeds exploitation, and agents merely mirror the larger dysfunction of the state.

But it need not be so. Shelter is not a luxury. It is a right. And like food and water, it must be treated as such. Nigeria must wake up to the urgency of reforming its housing sector by building more affordable homes, regulating agents, and protecting tenants from predatory practices.

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Until then, the Nigerian tenant remains trapped between the landlord’s demands and the agent’s extortion, forever paying pounds of flesh in a market where survival is traded for profit.

So, when next you hear the phrase “house hunting,” don’t imagine a hopeful family searching for a new home. Picture, instead, a weary Nigerian, pockets drained, dignity bruised, whispering under their breath: What’s up with Shylock house agents?

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Textile, Garment And Tailoring Workers Assault Journalists In Edo

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Some members of the National Union of Textile, Garment and Tailoring Workers of Nigeria (NUTGTWN), Edo State branch,
on Tuesday, assaulted journalists who were invited to their secretariat to cover their meeting.

Deputy General Secretary of the NUTGTWN, Comrade Emeka Nkwoala, invited the journalists to the secretariat of the body to get the outcome of a meeting he was directed to hold with them following the resignation of the branch chairman, Mike Ochei from the Caretaker Committee, and the suspension leadership of the union in Edo State over his resignation.

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The Caretaker Committee was set up by the leadership of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) to resolve the crisis and conduct election into the state leadership of the Congress.

Ochei, while resiging was quoted to have said that he was coerced into the membership of the caretaker committee, hence his resignation.

READ ALSO: Edo Deputy Gov Tasks Lab Scientists On Research, Vaccine Production

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Trouble, however, started, when, after the journalists introduced themselves inside the hall, and as Nkwoala about to talk, some of the members of the body started shouting ‘we don’t need press,’ it is an internal affair, they must leave,’ which was followed by some of the union members physically assaulting the journalists. One of the members poked his hands into the eyes of one of the reporters, while they used derogatory words on them.

Addressing journalists after the uproar that followed the meeting, Nkwoala said Ochei was contacted and informed before he was nominated to serve in the NLC committee, stressing that it was, therefore, wrong for him to have claimed that he was coerced into the committee.

He, thereafter, apologised to journalists who were harassed by some members of the union.

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Nkwoala said: “I want to apologise on behalf of our union, we are a matured union, we hold the press in high esteem and we relate very well with the press. From the inception of our union, our past leaders didn’t joke with the press. Is it Comrade Adams Oshiomhole, Comrade Issa Aremu or the current General Secretary Comrade Ali Baba? We don’t joke with the press. We apologise for the embarrassment that our members caused you. We are not known for such.

“The state of our union right now in Edo State is that we have suspended the Mike Ochei led state exco. They are on suspension till further notice. That was the resolution we reached with the various chairmen of the zones in Benin City today, it was also the resolution of our National Administrative Council (NAC) of our Union via our zoom meeting yesterday (Monday). So they cannot represent the NUTGTWN anywhere in whatever capacity.”

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On the way forward for the crisis in Edo NLC, he said: “Our allegiance is to the national leadership of the NLC ably led by Comrade Joe Ajaero and the Professor Monday Igbafen led caretaker committee. We believe that the leadership of the NLC has machinery in place to deal with some of these issues, for us we are part and parcel of the NLC and we will continue to pay our allegiance with the leadership of congress led by Comrade Ajaero.”

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Edo Deputy Gov Tasks Lab Scientists On Research, Vaccine Production

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Deputy governor of Edo State, Hon. Dennis Idahosa, on Tuesday, urged the Association of Medical Laboratory Scientists of Nigeria (AMLSN), to go into deep research, and channelled scientific findings to boost public health.

Idahosa also urged the scientists to set up a vaccine manufacturing company in Edo State.

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The deputy governor spoke when he played host to the state chapter of AMLSN, saying “as we speak, we still do not have a vaccine manufacturing company or industry in the whole of Nigeria. That, to me, is worrisome.”

READ ALSO:Idahosa Lauds Edo Specialist Hospital Facilities

Idahosa, who hosted the scientists on behalf of Governor Monday Okpebholo, added: ” This is the heartbeat of the nation. I think we should roll up our sleeves and do what other states in this country have not done before. Let Edo be the beginner.”

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He appreciated the laboratory scientists on the courtesy visit, just as he commended them for their contributions and medical interventions, which he said had given a boost to the public health sector delivery system in the state.

Making reference to the campaign manifesto and five point SHINE Agenda of Okpebholo, Idahosa affirmed that, “after security, health is number two. We are laying so much emphasis on health. Edo State is going to be happy with what we are going to do with the health sector.”

READ ALSO:2027 Presidency: Idahosa Reiterates Okpebholo’s Promises Of Delivering Edo To Tinubu

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Idahosa assured the scientists that he was going to work closely with “the think tanks in the health sector based on raised areas of needs,” as “government would look at the best way to proffer solution to some of these challenges.”

State Chairman of the AMLSN, Dr. Ekhaguere Ehigie who earlier congratulated the Edo State Government for victories at the polls and in court, highlighted issues that plagued laboratory practice in Nigeria.

He advocated the setting up of modern molecular laboratories and use of Nano technology to boost disease diagnosis, accurate laboratory results and monitoring/surveillance of public health.

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