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OPINION: The Witches On Portable’s Road To Madness (1)

Tunde Odesola
Although it is invisible, 17th Century English philosopher, physician and medical researcher John Locke described a newborn’s mind as a tabula rasa – a clean, unused slate.
Born 224 years after Locke, Sigmund Freud, a Jew and the father of psychoanalysis, while unravelling the human psyche, said the human mind is divided into three parts – the Id, Ego and Superego – each respectively consisting of the primitive, realistic and moral instincts inherent in Man.
Well, I’m no Albert Einstein poring over heaps of ceiling-high books and scratching dishevelled hair with a quill pen, but I aver, in my limited knowledge, that the mind is the most important part of human physiology. Wait, I’ll defend my assertion.
It’s true that every part of the body is important, including the pores of the skin, nails and the hairs in the nostrils. Even science agrees that if the anus clamps shut and rejects to eject the reject, the whole body suffers. I agree, too.
To describe the abstract nature of the human mind, I go to the crossroads where three footpaths meet, where the bush burns without scorching the foliage, where shoes walk without its owners, and where the rain falls without touching the ground. The human mind is the expansive incubator and monitor of brain activities.
Modern medicine is both indulgent and redemptive; it gives genitals to the transgender and life to the comatose. Modern medicine has turned the Operating Room into a workshop where parts of the human anatomy, such as the heart, kidney, liver etc, go for a price, but the human mind has no spare parts or price. Living can still have meaning when other parts of the body ail, but not when the mind ails. When the mind is messed up, living becomes meaningless.
Ruminating over the elasticity of the mind, an incident that occurred during my National Youth Service Corps days in Enugu State over three decades ago came to mind. After writing my final paper at the Abia State University, Uturu, I was too sure I would be posted to the North for youth service.
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I didn’t need to pray for my wish to come to pass, I thought. But lo and behold, I was posted to neighbouring Enugu State! I was crestfallen because I was eagerly looking forward to exploring the North and learning the Hausa language and culture.
“Didn’t these NYSC people see I’m a Yoruba who schooled in the East?” I asked myself many times, reading and rereading my deployment letter to see if there was a mistake in it. Well, bí isé ò bá p’éni, énikán kìí p’ése: when you get to the place of work, you put your hand to the plough.
So, from ABSU, I headed straight up to the NYSC Orientation Camp at Awgu. After three weeks of orientation, I got a letter of deployment to Umuopu Secondary School, Umuopu, in Igbo Eze-North LGA.
The whole of Igbo Eze-North was a palm tree belt noted for superb palm wine: fresh, undiluted àjáàbalè. Umuopu was a beautiful and accommodating land whose centenarian Onyi Isi would have me sit by his side when he held court on market days. I was a VIP because I was the first ever ‘youth corper’ to accept to serve in the land.
Despite building a well-furnished ‘corpers’ lodge with a generator to boot, the pull of Aji, a neighbouring town with electricity, was irresistible. More so, Aji had a highway and a full-fledged secondary school, whereas Umuopu only had a junior school.
As their school-leaving examination approached, the students, together with the Parent-Teacher Association of Aji High School, approached me and my NYSC colleague, Johnson Umor, to move to Aji to teach since the Umuopu school had gone on holiday.
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So, Johnson and I rented the top-storey apartment of the popular traditional shrink, Enwe Nwanjo, the late father of Emmanuel, a jolly good fellow. Emma, our landlord, had a beautiful wife called Emilia and a lovely daughter, Kasie. Emma was the elder brother of Florence, my friend, who lectured at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. Florence, I learnt, had gone to rest in heaven.
In Aji, I met a black goddess named Eucharia. Her dimple was the wink of an angel; her smile – the gentle giggle of a Tesla cranking to life in mockery of fuel scarcity. Eucharia was the sister of the vice-principal. Together with her uncle, Eucharia lived on the left wing of the top floor while we, the two Corpershon, occupied the spacious three-bedroomed apartment on the right wing.
I can’t remember what woke me up in the wee hours of that fateful night. But I remember clutching a packet of Consulate cigarettes and a bottle of stout and getting on to the balcony to savour the midnight breeze and pipe to myself.
I swig my drink; I use no cup. After a couple of swigs and smoking my cigarette halfway, I remembered Eucharia. “Did she eventually go home to Nsukka for the weekend or not?” I asked myself. With unsure steps, I walked to her door.
I made a coded hoot in front of her room. No response. She must be sleeping. But the blue light in her room was on. I increased the hoot a little, mindful not to wake the whole house up. Still no response. I peeped through the keyhole and nearly suffered a heart attack.
Right there she was, my Eucharia, in bed with another man! I knocked on the door gently, but they only changed their sleeping positions, her head resting on the man’s chest, snuggly. I drew hard on my cigarette again and again and again and again. I was wearing the NYSC white T-shirt over white shorts, and the night was bitingly cold.
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So, I went back into my flat, peeped into Johnson’s room and saw he had been sent on an errand by Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep. I wouldn’t have told him about Eucharia, anyway. I put on a pair of trousers, a jacket, socks and NYSC boots; it was going to be a long night, I reckoned. I got another big stout, and I returned to the balcony, smoking, drinking and pondering. Today, today, I must know who the invader was. I was prepared to stay up all night just to know who was knifing my yam with òbe èyìn.
I smoked, swigged and went back to the keyhole repeatedly. Though the room was bathed in dim blue light, I could see them. Their shapes were unmistakable on Eucharia’s narrow bed. Ha! Olopa o! I went back to the hallway to resume my night watch, smoking, swigging and wondering.
The clock ticked past 2 a.m. and headed towards 3 a.m. as the cold bit harder. “Umm, dis guy go comot today.” I wasn’t going to fight, but I was curious to know. I began to contemplate, “Who could it be?” “It must be an old working-class man”. “It must be a shameless married old man.” Thoughts swirled in my mind.
Slowly, the clock ticked past 4 a.m., and I knew the time was nigh when the thief would make a run for it. I lay in wait on the vast balcony, replenishing my drink and cigarettes.
Then, I heard a sound in the distance. I looked towards the road where the sound wafted from. The sound became a song as I made out a little crowd strolling up the road in the morning haze.
* To be continued.
Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com
Facebook: @Tunde Odesola
X: @Tunde_Odesola
News
New Tax Laws: Suspend January 2026 Implementation — Senator Ndume Tells Tinubu

Former Senate Leader, Ali Ndume has appealed to President Bola Ahmed Tinubu to suspend the January 1, 2026, implementation of the country’s new tax laws amid growing controversy.
The federal lawmaker made the appeal in a statement he issued on Wednesday in Abuja.
This comes as the Nigerian Bar Association demanded the suspension of the implementation.
Recall that a member of the House of Representatives, Abdussamad Dasuki, had last week called the Parliament’s attention to alleged alteration to the tax laws.
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Chairman of the Presidential Fiscal Policy and Tax Reforms Committee, Taiwo Oyedele, in an interview on Arise Television on Wednesday, called for calm over claims of alterations in tax laws and urged Nigerians to allow lawmakers to complete their investigation before drawing conclusions.
Speaking on the ongoing controversy about the tax laws, Ndume noted that proceeding with the implementation without getting to the root of the alleged forgery will create a legitimacy challenge for the tax laws.
His statement read, “With the controversy surrounding it, the President should constitute a team to verify the veracity of the claim and act accordingly.
“As the responsive leader that he has always been, he should look at it to find out if the copy that was signed and the claim of alterations are genuine so that he will do the needful to bring the controversy to rest.
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“If not, the controversy will continue.” That is to say, the tax law will not be implemented, because you can’t build on nothing.
“So, Mr. President should suspend the implementation until the issues are resolved because so many civil society organizations, the Arewa Community, and the Nigerian Bar Association are saying that he should withdraw the tax law and investigate the allegation of forgery.”
“Therefore, Mr President should get to the root of the allegation of forgery. The small committee that will be set up should look into it while the House of Representatives does its own.”
News
Tambuwal Engages Security Agencies As US Airstrikes Hit Own LG In Sokoto

Senator Aminu Waziri Tambuwal, representing Sokoto South, has called on residents of Sokoto State to remain calm following reports of United States airstrikes targeting ISIS-linked terrorists on Christmas Day.
In a statement posted on his personal X account, the former Sokoto State governor said he was aware of reports concerning the airstrikes, which marked a direct US military action in Nigeria based on intelligence about ISWAP threats, and urged citizens to remain law-abiding while authorities clarify the situation.
“I have noted the reports concerning an airstrike carried out as part of ongoing counterterrorism efforts through cooperation between the federal government of Nigeria and the United States,” Tambuwal said. “I urge our communities to remain calm and law abiding as relevant authorities clarify the circumstances surrounding the operation.”
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Tambuwal assured constituents that he was engaging with relevant security agencies to obtain full details of the operation and to ensure that necessary things were in place to protect civilians.
“I wish to assure the people of Sokoto South that I am in active talks with relevant security authorities to obtain full details and ensure that all necessary safeguards are upheld,” he added.
The senator emphasised that counterterrorism operations were aimed strictly at criminal and terrorist elements threatening public safety, not innocent civilians who are often victims of insecurity. He stressed that the protection of civilian lives must remain central to all legitimate security actions.
He further called on community leaders, traditional institutions and residents to work closely with security agencies by sharing credible intelligence and resisting misinformation capable of causing fear or heightening tension.
News
Rep Moore Confirms 12 Tomahawk Missiles Launched In Sokoto

No fewer than 12 Tomahawk missiles were on December 25 launched against terrorists in Sokoto State by the United States military.
Rep Riley M. Moore, the lawmaker representing Virginia’s Second District in the Congress, confirmed this in an interview with Fox News.
The US military operated in Sokoto State on Christmas night, bombing terrorists killing innocent people in parts of Nigeria.
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Some security analysts claimed on Friday that the operation was unsuccessful and had no significant impacts on the targeted terrorists.
According to them, the airstrikes landed in safe places including farms where there was no history of terrorists’ hideout.
But details began to emerge on Friday night, indicating that several terrorists were killed during the joint operations between the US army and it’s Nigerian counterpart.
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Moore said: “This year, thanks to President Trump, Radical Islamic Terrorists were on the receiving end of 12 Tomahawk missiles as a present.
“The successful strikes on ISIS, in coordination with the Nigerian government, is just the first step to secure the country and end the slaughter of our brothers and sisters in Christ”.
DAILY POST reports that residents of Sokoto State have been panicking since the US military operation.
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