News
OPINION: I Will Make You Disappear!
Published
9 months agoon
By
Editor
Tunde Odesola
To speak tongue-in-cheek is to say, “Na Baba kill Dele Giwa.” But to speak matter-of-factly is to say, “Dele Giwa was killed in his ‘gida’”. ‘Gida’ is a Hausa word for house. If you like, add ‘gida’ to Baba, na you sabi.
It was a Sunday morning, almost 38 years ago, when a faceless porter of death delivered a letter bomb at the Ikeja house of the Editor-in-Chief of Newswatch magazine, Dele Giwa.
The then-Director, National Intelligence Agency of Nigeria, Brigadier General Haliru Akilu, had reportedly called Giwa’s wife, Funmi, thrice on Saturday, and 45 minutes earlier before the delivered letter bomb went off on Sunday; Akilu, now 76, was asking for directions to Giwa’s house when he called Funmi.
Seated in his dining room on the fateful Sunday morning, Giwa, who was having breakfast with a junior colleague, Kayode Soyinka, received the letter from his son, Billy, and seeing Nigeria’s coat of arms on the letter, said, “This must be from the President,” tearing open the letter, which tore his life apart.
Giwa’s death was more excruciating than death by firing squad because death didn’t come quickly, it was in instalments; he fought death, watching his intestines, flesh and blood splatter across the walls of his dining room like an undead cockroach struggling to move with a squashed abdomen.
In the valley of the shadow of death, the brave Giwa looked down at his shattered bowels and groin and said, “They have got me.” The dripping remains of the model journalist were lifted like a disembowelled roadkill, packed into a vehicle, and rushed to the hospital, where he gave up the ghost. What a death! What a life
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On October 19, it would be exactly 38 years since Giwa was blown out of existence, leaving the nation reeling in horror, with Nigerians wondering what could the then-military President, General Ibrahim Babangida, Akilu and other top security chiefs, including the Deputy Director of SSS, retired Lt. Col. A.K. Togun, be hiding that made them repeatedly shun the Nigerian Human Rights Violations Investigations Commission headed by the late Justice Chukwudifu Oputa? May the killers of Dele Giwa forever be haunted.
Apart from pricking our national conscience and calling for the trial of Babangida, Akilu, Togun and co, my reference to Dele Giwa as a metaphor for dictatorship aims to illustrate the difference between speaking tongue-in-cheek and speaking matter-of-factly, though this column is not rivalling Akeem Lasisi’s PUNCH newspaper column, which teaches Use of English.
In this discourse, I elect to speak tongue-in-cheek because the topic is about a species of primates called the rhesus monkey. You know, monkeys don’t speak human language, though they are smart animals. However, monkeys read lips and understand human sounds, which they relate to. So, I’ll speak tongue-in-cheek, not matter-of-factly, and it will take only the deep to understand me.
Writing and painting are distinct forms of human expression. Since the advent of recorded history, the quill and the ink have explored human thought and distilled imagination in vivid portrayals. On the other hand, painting is the creative stroke of the brush dipped in colourful gloss and emulsion of communication, expressing plain and esoteric meanings.
Macaca Mulatta is the scientific name of the rhesus monkey. To get a striking picture of what the animal looks like, I beg you to google ‘rhesus monkey’ and see how closely it resembles Alexi, the new monkey in the state-of-the-art Abuja zoo commissioned a little over a year ago. Combining my written description and googling the picture of the rhesus monkey will clear all doubts about the looks and identity of Alexi.
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Alexi is the latest addition to the growing list of animals attacking humans in Nigeria’s seat of power, Abuja. Alexi is an animal among humans. In ‘Beasts of No Nation’, maverick Afrobeats superstar, Fela Anikulapo, describes some leaders as animals in human skin.
Mulatta is the female version of mulatto. Both names refer to a person of mixed white and black ancestry. That the rhesus monkey is scientifically named Macaca mulatta may mean that this caste of primates is matriarchal. While most human communities are patriarchal, some are matriarchal, a pointer to the evolutionary interrelatedness among species in the Animal Kingdom, ìse ènìyàn ni ìse eranko.
Research shows that the rhesus monkey can be considered mixed-breed because of hybridisation between its Chinese and Indian subspecies. Over the years, however, the rhesus monkey has been admixed with many other species, which ostensibly include the African caste.
Humans and monkeys indeed have an enduring relationship. In 1948, Man put the rhesus monkey in a one-passenger rocket but the monkey died during the space flight. Not to make the monkey family hard done by, on June 14, 1949, Man put another rhesus monkey named Albert II, on a one-passenger space flight, becoming the first primate and first mammal in space.
I do not know if Alexi, the latest tyrannic monkey in Abuja, is related to Albert II or not. But I know Alexi doesn’t have half the brain of Albert II. Unlike Alexi, Albert II was certainly not an idiot. To fly a space rocket, Albert II couldn’t have been a conceited bully and hateful megalomaniac. The space flight Albert II successfully executed in 1949 and the disgraceful behaviour displayed by one of his great-grandsons, Alexi, in Abuja, show that, for Alexi, sawdust lies in the place where Albert II had brains.
Since time immemorial, Man has found the monkey a good ally in security provision and groundbreaking medical research, thereby permitting monkeys to live among humans.
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One of the lucky monkeys privileged to live among humans is Alexi who operates in the Abuja zoo. Alexi, like humans, sleeps in bed, walks on two legs, drives cars and eats eggs. Because of the deeds of some of his forebears, including Albert II, Alexi was entrusted with a position in the Legislative Assembly.
One day, arrogance and ambition gripped Alexi as he looked in the mirror and noticed the striking resemblance he shared with Man. He smiled and said to himself, “Look at yourself, Alexi! Look at you! Who can ever know that you’re originally a monkey? Ol’ boy, it’s high time you transmuted fully into Man.”
He is so obsessed with vainglory and power that he thinks only about himself and feels he can get away with anything. One day, he conjured the spirit of Ìjímèrè, the forebear of all monkeys.
Ìjímèrè appeared in his hairy glory – an oblong head above a narrow chest, long slim hands, scratchy nails, slitty eyes, angular legs and a lipless mouth. Alexi told Ìjímèrè he wants to become human. Ìjímèrè rebuked Alexi for not being contented with his place in nature, warning that shame lay ahead of the journey the young monkey was about to embark on.
Alexi cried and begged Ìjímèrè to tell him the secret of how to turn into a human being. Ìjímèrè pleaded with his descendant but Alexi wouldn’t listen. So, Ìjímèrè told him what to do.
“Alexi, my descendant,” Ìjímèrè began, “I can see that self-conceit, overambition and power drunkenness are behind your wish to become human. You’re not doing it for the sake of the lineage. This is not the first time an enwe would attempt to become human. Each past attempt ended in disaster. Before I grant your wish, however, I will summon Lágídò, so that I can have a witness.”
Ìjímèrè recited some monkey chants and Lágídò appears. “You summon me, Great One,” said Lágídò, looking around and settling her eyes on Alexi.
“Yes, I did,” Ìjímèrè said, adding, “It’s one of our descendants,” pointing to Alexi, “Who wants to become human. I have tried to dissuade him from towing the path of destruction but he won’t listen. So, I want to grant him his wish by revealing to him the secret of how to become human. I only want you to be my witness.”
Ìjímèrè coughed deeply and continued, “Alexi, here are three taboos you must desist from – to become human. One, you must never touch snails. Two, you must never look down on Man. Three, you must be humble.”
“Is that all, Baba Ìjímèrè?” asked an anxious Alexi. “No, it remains one more thing,” Ìjímèrè said, “You must sit for three hours by your gate every night for seven days, wearing simple clothes, reciting the panegyrics of our lineage and doing deeds of kindness.”
“Yes, Baba,” Alexi scrambled to his feet from where he knelt and hurtled out without saying goodbye.
Lágídò said, “Doom looms ahead of the prideful and impatient fellow. The signs of ominous disaster are clear.”
On his seventh day at the gate, a short man bolted towards Alexi, holding a package in his hands, beckoning to Alexi. Alexi became livid with rage, “How dare you subhuman beckon to me? Can’t you come to me? Do you know who I am? Imagine this rat? I can make you disappear!”
Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com
Facebook: @Tunde Odesola
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UNICEF, U-Report Build Capacity Of Youth Advocates On Child-Friendly Budgeting
Published
10 minutes agoon
August 3, 2025By
Editor
The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), Bauchi Field Office, and U-Report has embarked on a one-day capacity building training of youth advocates in Bauchi State on the budget process and its impact on child development.
The training focused on advocating for increased investment in child-friendly sectors through improved and adequate budgeting.
The one-day engagement brought together 25 U-Reporters from across the state.
It could be recalled that U-Report is UNICEF’s global platform that empowers young people to speak out on issues that matter to them, access trusted information, and drive positive change in their communities.
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It operates in over 90 countries using digital technology and real-time insights to influence policies and decision-making.
Speaking at the event, Mr Abubakar Usman, a representative from the Bauchi State Ministry of Budget, Economic Planning, and Multilateral Coordination, highlighted the importance of public understanding and participation in the budgeting process.
According to him the budget belongs to the people and the youth must understand how it works so they could advocate for the right priorities, especially those affecting children.
He added that the ministry encourages feedback and public contributions to ensure the budget reflects the needs of all, especially vulnerable groups.
Also speaking, Mrs Sophie Safratu-Bako, a resource person at the training, described the budget as a financial plan that outlines government revenue and expenditure for a fiscal year.
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She emphasized its role in promoting equitable development across key sectors such as education, health, infrastructure, and security.
“Budgeting is not just about numbers—it is about people and priorities,” she said. “Young people have the power to influence policies. Your voices can ensure child-focused priorities are reflected in public spending.”
Earlier Mr Opeyemi Olaguju, Communications Officer, UNICEF Bauchi Field Office, said it was high time the youth advocated for the need to hold leaders accountable and ensure children’s needs were prioritized in public budgets.
“Young advocates must champion good governance and demand increased investment in sectors that directly affect their lives and futures,” he urged.
The engagement aimed to equip youth with the knowledge and tools needed to analyze budgets, engage in advocacy, and participate meaningfully in governance processes for a better and more inclusive future.
News
7 Essential Blood Tests Every Adult Should Take Regularly
Published
4 hours agoon
August 3, 2025By
Editor
Many diseases don’t show clear symptoms until it’s too late. That’s why routine health checks, especially blood tests, are important. They help catch silent problems early so you can treat them before they get serious.
There are specific blood tests every adult should take, even if you feel perfectly healthy. In this article are blood tests adults need, and what they reveal about your body.
1. Complete Blood Count (CBC)
The CBC test checks your red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. It helps detect things like anemia (low red blood cells), infections, and immune system issues.
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2. Fasting Blood Sugar Test (Glucose Test)
This test measures the amount of sugar in your blood. It helps detect prediabetes and Type 2 diabetes. High blood sugar can silently damage your nerves, eyes, and kidneys without you noticing.
3. Lipid Panel (Cholesterol Test)
This test checks your LDL (bad cholesterol), HDL (good cholesterol), and Triglycerides. High cholesterol increases your risk of heart disease and stroke.
4. Liver Function Test (LFT)
The liver helps filter toxins from your blood. This test checks for hepatitis, fatty liver disease, and liver damage from alcohol or medication.
5. Kidney Function Test (Creatinine and BUN Test)
Your kidneys clean your blood. This test helps detect chronic kidney disease, kidney infections, and kidney failure risks
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6. Thyroid Test (TSH, T3, T4)
Your thyroid controls your metabolism, weight, mood, and energy. This test detects hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) and hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid)
7. Vitamin D and B12 Tests
These tests check your nutrient levels. Low Vitamin D can cause bone weakness. Low Vitamin B12 can cause tiredness, nerve problems, and memory issues.
Don’t wait for symptoms before you get tested. Your health is your greatest asset, and blood tests are one of the smartest, simplest ways to protect it.
(TRIBUNE)

The main causes of plane crashes are due to negligence, errors, lack of maintenance, and so on. Understanding the root of every crash is a way to improve safety measures and standards. Over the years, in Nigeria, plane crashes have been a cause for concern. The Nigerian Safety Investigation Bureau continues to inform the public on efforts to improve the aviation industry through safety measures.
1. Pilot’s Errors
One of the common causes of plane crashes is pilots’ errors. It is expected of every pilot to think ahead by checking the weather and be alert to changes. A pilot must understand the mechanical components of an aircraft and the skills that would enable him or her to handle an aircraft. When a pilot loses focus or is confused about what to do, it can lead to a crash. That is why piloting an aircraft requires lengthy training.
2. Negligence of the Air Traffic Controller
In the aspect of ensuring the aircraft is safe, air traffic controllers are very crucial. They have to separate and guide aircraft through the airspace. But if a controller fails to do this or feeds the pilot the wrong information, a collision can occur, and if there is no swift adjustment, a crash would happen. So, communicating accurate information and ensuring safety are vital in preventing a crash.
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3. Weather Conditions
The weather conditions must be known before an aircraft takes off. Pilots and air traffic controllers must understand the weather conditions. In the course of the flight, the air traffic controllers are expected to give more accurate information to the pilots. Not being cognizant of bad weather conditions enough can, of course, lead to a crash.
4. Lack of proper maintenance
Another common cause of a plane crash is a lack of maintenance, which is very crucial. It is expected of airplane mechanics to uphold inspection requirements or guidelines because there are rules and regulations governing aeroplanes. If an accident occurs, it is also important to know what caused it so that measures can be taken.
5. Relying on the GPS
The GPS (Global Positioning System) is a navigation system for aircraft. It can be programmed to follow what the pilot is doing. But when it is not done professionally or the pilots get carried away by the help of this tool, this can cause an aeroplane to get off the assigned altitude. The GPS also gives pilots the information on how to land safely. But over-reliance on this system can lead to havoc.
(TRIBUNE)
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