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OPINION: Now That Natasha Has Made Akpabio Happy

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By Festus Adedayo

In South Africa under the presidency of Jacob Zuma, any analysis of government and governance without factoring sex into the mix was tame and lame. Zuma was a notorious polygamist who had six official wives as president, many more by unofficial account and 22 children from the liaisons. He was a kingpin of lechery. On May 8, 2006, a South African court under Judge van der Merwe acquitted him of rape of Fezekile Ntsukela Kuzwayo, an HIV-positive AIDS activist, who was the daughter of his friend, Judson Kuzwayo. During trial, Zuma pleaded that the sex was consensual but admitted that he had unprotected sex with the lady. He then stunned the world with his bizarre claim that he had “showered afterwards to cut the risk of contracting the infection.”

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In the process of studying power relations in Nigeria, sex as a phenomenon is often understudied or underrated. In other words, while power relations are known to be shaped by a complex interplay of factors that range from the economic, political, social, to the cultural, including individual characteristics and relationship dynamics, hardly are gender and sex reckoned with.

In my piece of March 6, 2022 with the title, Buhari’s Serial Rape Of Nigeria’s Lady Justice, I doubled down on a sub-theme of the powerful role sex plays in national politics. To do justice to this, I recalled a September 7, 2008 cartoon sketched by Jonathan Shapiro, award-winning cartoonist with the Johannesburg-based Sunday Times whose cartoon identity was Zapiro. I illustrated the piece with a submission that though political cartooning may look harmless, it can be nerve-racking, provoking the bile of political office holders and triggering a huge political umbrage in the process. This cartoon triggered a huge ball of fire in South Africa. Named ‘Rape of Lady Justice’, in it, Zuma, who was then leader of the African National Congress (ANC), and later to become president, was seen loosening his trousers’ zippers for a sexual romp. On his head was a shower cap. Before him, flung on the bare floor, was a blindfolded lady with a lapel inscribed, “Justice System” hung on her chest.

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Four hefty and menacing-looking men knelt by the Lady Justice’s side, holding down the “wench”, whose skirt was half peeled off. They were political surrogates of Zuma in the ANC, which included Julius Malema, then leader of the ANC Youth League. The scale of justice had fallen down beside the Lady Justice, with one of the men smilingly beckoning on Zuma to clamber her, muttering, “Go for it, boss!”

That cartoon shot Zuma into a fit. Indeed, he immediately sued Zapiro for the sum of £700,000. Massive reactions followed it, ranging from the condemnatory to the laudatory. The ANC, SACP and ANC Youth League pilloried it as “hate speech,” “disgusting” and “bordering on defamation of character” and then petitioned the South African Human Rights Commission for redress.

I went into all these dogo turenchi, just as I did in another piece I wrote on February 6, 2022, to ask that we must not underrate the power of sex in high places. In that February piece, I borrowed a line from Irish poet and playwright, Oscar Wilde, who said, “everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power”. With it, I submitted that the Wilde theory should tell us that there is an intersection between gender, sexual power and political power. This was further escalated by renowned scholar, Prof Wale Adebanwi, in one of his journal articles, where he submitted that “the African man of power must display or exhibit his virility – particularly sexual virility.” In the same vein, Zimbabwean journalist and blogger, Fungai Machirori, urged us to study the sexual histories of our men in power because, from the rhythm of their silently dangling penises, we may find a compass to their politics.

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Last Thursday, the ghost of the spat between Senate President, Godswill Akpabio and senator representing Kogi West, Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, will seem to have rested. In the relations of power in the senate, on that day, Akpabio, it will seem, had succeeded in showing Akpoti-Uduaghan that, as bland-looking as the old Nigerian pence looked, it was not a currency to be trifled with by the Kobo coin (Bí tọrọ ṣe yọ to, kíì s’ẹgbẹ Kọbọ). Not only was she suspended for six months for violating senate rules and bringing the senate “to public opprobrium”, her salary and security details were withdrawn while her office would be locked during the pendency of the suspension.

If you watched the senate proceedings leading to Akpoti-Uduaghan’s suspension, you would be sorry for Nigeria. Then, African-American Sterling Brown would come to your mind, just as you visualize Jonathan Shapiro’s cartoon in Akpabio figuratively loosening his trousers’ zippers for a forceful sexual romp with the Lady Justice. With same lens, you would see Majority Leader, Opeyemi Bamidele, Adenigba Fadahunsi and other fawning senators holding down the “wench”, smilingly beckoning Akpabio to “Go for it, boss!”

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Like Africans, African-Americans grew to know the wisdom which teaches that injustice is a furnace that burns and destroys. The life of Sterling Brown, professor at America’s Howard University, folklorist, poet and literary critic, was chiefly dedicated to studying black culture. In one of his poems entitled “Old Lem,” Brown wrote about mob violence and injustice which black people suffered in the hands of the American criminal justice system. American writer and civil rights activist, James Baldwin’s ‘The Fire Next Time’ also speaks to this theme. In the America of the time, black parents, aware of the danger of their blackness and the violence and death they could suffer, deployed folklore to cushion them, even as they told stories that depicted their skewed realities.

There was this famous folklore told to African-American children while growing up. Entitled “Old Sis Goose,” it goes thus, as I reproduce it verbatim: One day, “while swimming across a pond, Sis Goose got caught by Brer Fox. Sis gets pissed off because she believes that she has a perfect right to swim in the pond. She decides to sue Brer Fox. But when the case gets to court, Sis Goose looks around and sees that besides the Sheriff who is a fox, the judge is a fox, the prosecuting and defence attorneys are ones too and even the jury is comprised entirely of foxes. Sis Goose doesn’t like her chances. Sure enough at the end of the trial, Sis Goose is convicted and summarily executed. Soon, the jury, judge, Sheriff and the attorneys are picking on her bones.”

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The morals of this old anecdote are two. One, as encapsulated in one of the lines of Apala musician, Ayinla Omowura’s track, is that, if you do not have a representative in a council where your matter will be decided, even if you are right, you would be adjudged guilty. The second moral is that, if the courthouse is filled with foxes and you are an ordinary, lonely goose, there will be no justice for you.

In the senate last week, Akpoti-Uduaghan was Sis Goose who looked around and saw that, beside the judge, Akpabio who is a fox, the prosecuting and defence attorneys were all foxes, too. Even the jury is comprised entirely of foxes. Though they appeared as unbiased umpire senators, they were flesh-starved foxes baying for blood of the hapless little Goose. And Sis Goose was summarily executed.

First, we must realize that, just like other Nigerian institutions, the power, glory, graft and corruption at the beck and call of Akpabio’s senate presidency is breathtakingly awesome and humongous. Don’t mind his suffocation of these agencies in his most times nauseating jokes, Akpabio has the power to literally turn anyone’s night into day. If you enter his senate as a pauper and find favour in his ego, you could upstage Mansa Musa, ninth Mansa of the Mali empire’s wealth. Owing to this largesse in his hands, as ants gravitate towards the pee of a diabetic, the senate president has the pleasure of a humongous number of solicited and unsolicited fawners and senatorial Oraisa (praise-singers) and hangers-on.

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NYSC Commends Bauchi Govt On Infrastructural Development In Orientation Camp

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The National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) has commended Gov. Bala Mohammed of Bauchi state on his infrastructural development projects in NYSC permanent orientation camp in the state.

Mr Umoren Kufre, the NYSC Coordinator in the state made the commendation on Tuesday during the closing ceremony of the 2025 Batch ‘A’ stream II orientation course on Wailo, Ganjuwa Local Government Area of the state.

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According to him, the renovation of corps members’ hostels and camp officials’ blocks as well as the construction of a brand new multipurpose hall in the camp by the state government portrayed the governor as a good father of the youth.

“This kind gesture will remain very fresh in our minds for a long time to come. Once more, thank you, your Excellency.

READ ALSO: NYSC Urges Bauchi Governor To Reconstruct Collapsed Camp Fence

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“I also wish to thank the Bauchi state Government for providing the conducive environment and security for both Corps members and camp officials which contributed in no small measure in making this exercise a huge success

“Similarly, I appreciate all of our collaborating agencies that sent their personnel to assist us in the running of the camp. My staff, as usual, were at their very best to ensure a seamless exercise. May God bless and reward you all

“I wish to register our appreciation to the Wailo Community for being our good host and neighbours over the years, their efforts in meeting our needed casual labour demands eased much stress on the Corps members and officials

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“In the same spirit, I sincerely like to commend the patriotism, loyalty, patience, perseverance, understanding, and the good conduct of Corps members during the orientation course,” he said.

READ ALSO: NYSC Assures Impactful Participation Of Corps Members On Host Communities

Kufre enjoined the corps members to continue to be obedient, loyal and diligent, urging them to endeavour to settle down quickly in their places of primary assignment and adapt to the ways of life there.

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He further called on them to do their best in obeying the rules governing their host communities, learn to appreciate their customs and culture and ensure that they leave the places better than they meet them.

The people of Bauchi state, as you have been told many times, are hospitable people and the glaring proof as you can see are the buses sent by Local Government Councils to convey you to your places of primary assignment.

“I implore you to reciprocate this good gesture by contributing your best to the upliftment of your host communities and Bauchi State in general,” said the Coordinator.

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1,300 corps members completed the orientation course and were posted to different parts of Bauchi state for the one year compulsory service.

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Ghana Deports Convicted Nigerian For Smuggling Fake $100,000

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A Nigerian, Aremu Adegboyega, convicted by a Circuit Court in Accra, Ghana, for smuggling counterfeit CFA francs worth over $100,000 into the country through an unauthorised border route will be deported to Nigeria, according to The PUNCH.

Justice Christiana Cann, who presided over the case ordered his immediate deportation by the Ghana Immigration Service.

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According to ASP Isaac Anquandah, as cited by a Ghanaian news outlet, The Chronicle, on Monday, Adegboyega was arrested in 2023 by customs officers stationed at the Aflao border while he was travelling on a motorcycle.

The 55-year-old was charged with two counts of possessing forged notes, in violation of Section 18(2) of Ghana’s Currency Act, 1964 (Act 242), as well as one count of illegal entry into the country.

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For possession of counterfeit CFA francs, the court fined the convict 250 penalty units, equivalent to GH¢3,000.

In default of payment, according to the report, he will serve a two-year prison sentence with hard labour.

For illegal entry into Ghana, he was reportedly fined an additional 120 penalty units or GH¢1,440. If he fails to pay, The Chronicle reports, he will serve another two-year prison term.

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The sentences are expected to run concurrently, meaning he will serve a maximum of two years if he defaults on both payments.

READ ALSO:Ghana’s Ex-security Chief Charged With Theft, Money Laundering

The report added that, in addition to the fines and prison sentence, the court ordered his immediate deportation to Nigeria.

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Adegboyega was apprehended at Beat Zero, an unauthorised crossing point along the Ghana-Togo border.

Riding as a pillion passenger on a motorcycle and carrying a backpack, according to the police, he aroused suspicion, prompting the officers to search his belongings.

During the search, officers discovered bundles of suspected counterfeit currency: CFA francs totalling CFA 80,653,000 and Nigerian naira amounting to N101,500.

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READ ALSO:US Deports Six Nigerians For Various Offences

Further investigation revealed that he had smuggled the fake currency into Ghana from Togo.

According to the police, he admitted in a caution statement that he was aware the money was counterfeit.

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He also confessed to receiving the forged notes from a man identified as Alhaji Saibu in Nigeria, under the instruction of an alleged mafia figure named Alhaji Dials, believed to be based in Abidjan, Côte d’Ivoire.

Adegboyega joins another Nigerian, Abu Arome, who is currently standing trial alongside three Ghanaians for alleged fraud.

A statement issued on Friday by the Force Public Relations Officer, Muyiwa Adejobi, disclosed the suspects were accused of committing the crime using forged documents, falsified signatures, and fraudulent claims.

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CAC Unveils AI-powered Portal For 30-minute Company Registrations

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The Corporate Affairs Commission has launched a pilot Artificial Intelligence-powered registration portal to overhaul the current Company Registration Portal.

The Registrar-General and Chief Executive Officer of the Commission, Hussaini Ishaq Magaji, disclosed this at the 2025 Stakeholders’ Forum meeting.

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A statement issued by the commission on Tuesday described the initiative as a game-changer aimed at significantly reducing registration timelines and enhancing the ease of doing business across the country.

According to Magaji, the new system allows for instant name reservation approvals, likening the process to opening an email account.

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It is intelligently designed to suggest available alternatives and grant real-time approvals, removing the traditional bottlenecks,” he said.

One of the portal’s standout features is its ability to facilitate business registration using only the National Identification Number of a director or proprietor.

Magaji said that once real-time NIN verification is successful, a certificate of incorporation would be generated and delivered to the applicant’s email within 30 minutes.

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He stated, “The target time for business registration is under 30 minutes to generate a certificate and deliver to the customer’s email, subject to real-time NIN verification.”

READ ALSO:CAC’s Good Women Choir Leader, Fasoyin, Speaks On Composition Of ‘Odun Nlo Sopin’ Song

While acknowledging that some delays may still arise due to external validations from the National Identity Management Commission, he revealed that a contingency plan has been built into the platform, using AI-powered photo ID matching to overcome such hitches.

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In addition, the Commission plans to introduce a two-factor authentication system with OTP verification for all transactions.

This, according to him, will ensure no changes can be made to company records without the explicit knowledge and consent of the registered directors.

Magaji further announced that a CAC mobile application would be launched in the final quarter of 2025 to allow users to track and manage transactions on the go.

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READ ALSO:JUST IN: CAC Gives Unregistered Businesses Deadline, Warns Of Jail Term

Speaking on new partnerships, he disclosed that the Commission is currently reviewing over 100 requests from local and international super agents, including the Nigerian Inter-Bank Settlement System, aimed at deepening access and streamlining services.

Meanwhile, the Registrar-General also revealed that the Commission would commence a review of its service fees effective August 1, 2025, citing the need to maintain service quality and implement ongoing reforms.

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The statement added that goodwill messages at the forum were delivered by the Chairman, Nigerian Bar Association, Port Harcourt Branch, Cordelia U. Eke; Chairman, Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators, Sir Sebastian Essien; and Chairman, Nigerian Association of Small and Medium Enterprises, Elder Dogala Sakpege.

Also in attendance were Mechi Brown, Director of Industry at the Rivers State Ministry of Commerce and Industry, and Miema Akpa, who represented the Chairman of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria, Port Harcourt branch.

A CAC technical team was present during the event to attend to customer complaints and provide on-the-spot solutions to registration challenges.

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